Category: Humour

Sun Hunting Adventures and Observations Among the Native and Migratory Tribes of Florida, Including the Stoical Time-Killers of Palm Beach, the Gentle and Gregarious Tin-Canners of the Remote Interior, and the Vivacious and Semi-Violent Peoples of Miami and Its Purlieus

XIII Of the divergences between Bradley’s and Monte Carlo--of the idiosyncrasies of the little white pill--of the oddities of fat players--of time-killing pastimes--and of the wisdom of Dionysius the Elder 62

Chapters

1. BOOK ONE

XIII Of the divergences between Bradley’s and Monte Carlo--of the idiosyncrasies of the little white pill--of the oddities of fat players--of time-killing pastimes--and of the w...

2. BOOK TWO

IV Of the Tin-Can Tourists of the World--of immigrants and other unsupervised and unsolicited visitors, national and local--of cheap skates--and of the reason why tin-canners do...

3. BOOK THREE

IX Of the old Miami and the new Miami--of differences between Miami Beach and Palm Beach--of the scenic possibilities in floating coconuts and the activities of John S. Collins 165

4. CHAPTER I

This desire is not so much due to their wish to avoid making a mess around the house as it is to the peculiar mental obsession known to the French as “homesickness for elsewhere...

5. CHAPTER II

It is in Florida that the American time-killer may be found in all his glory; and the largest, most perfect and most brilliantly colored specimens are to be found at Palm Beach....

6. CHAPTER III

Palm Beach is a long narrow strip of land which is separated from the mainland by a long narrow body of water known as Lake Worth, and by a sudden increase in living expenses. O...

7. CHAPTER IV

Palm Beach is the heaven of the bicycle. In other parts of the world it has sunk in popular esteem until it is little else than a conveyer of telegraph boys and an instrument fo...

8. CHAPTER V

There are many lonely men and women at Palm Beach who almost cry with gratitude when somebody speaks to them. They are like many Congressmen, who are big people at home, but of...

9. CHAPTER VI

Compared with the good old days when dresses hooked up the back in such an intricate fashion that one needed blueprints, diagrams and charts in order to hook up a dress properly...

10. CHAPTER VII

At half past eleven every morning, stimulated by the early morning talk of dress, all the feminine population of Palm Beach, accompanied by all obtainable male escorts, set out...

11. CHAPTER VIII

When the bathing hour has passed into history, the merry bathers and clothes-wearers sally forth in search of lunch. The ordinary run of Palm Beach visitors eat their lunch at t...

12. CHAPTER IX

The smartest thing at Palm Beach is the Everglades Club. The Everglades Club is so smart that it almost gives itself a pain. It has only a few over four hundred members, but the...

13. CHAPTER X

The business of being smart and appearing at the proper places at the proper hour is merely the accepted method of killing time with many Palm Beachers; but with many others it...

14. CHAPTER XI

The Palm Beach crowd is always ready to part with money for anything that looks sufficiently smart and interesting. In order to facilitate the parting, some of the country’s lea...

15. CHAPTER XII

After one has spent a fatiguing afternoon pricing whisky flasks, or being pushed along avenues of palms and Australian pines in a wheel-chair, or indulging in a little steady br...

16. CHAPTER XIII

About the only similarity between Bradley’s and the Monte Carlo Casino is the squareness of the game and the roundness of the roulette wheels. A majority of the people who gambl...

17. CHAPTER I

18. Scene I of this drama of American manners is laid in the small and more

or less flourishing town of East Rockpile in the northern state of Massachusetts, Illinois, Maine, Indiana, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Vermont, Ohio or Connecticut. Or Rhode Isla...

19. CHAPTER II

20. Scene II of this emotional cross-section of national life is laid on the

outskirts of the thriving town of Porgy Inlet, Florida. One year has elapsed between Scenes I and II. The month is January. A soft breeze rustles the palm-fronds and sets the wa...

21. CHAPTER III

The manner in which modern migrations are stimulated is pretty much the same all over the world. A resident of Poland, having no money and no job, borrows enough money from a re...

22. CHAPTER IV

It is due to the heavy weight of cans carried by these automobiles that the true, stamped-in-the-can sun-hunter is known to himself, to his friends and to his enemies as a tin-c...

23. CHAPTER V

The tin-canner spends, for his winter of travel, about the same amount of money that a seasoned Palm Beach mixer frequently spends in a couple of days. This isn’t exaggeration,...

24. CHAPTER VI

Mr. Charles Dickens, in _The Old Curiosity Shop_, described the original luxurious tin-canning vehicle; but Dickens knew the contraption as a caravan. And instead of being motor...

25. CHAPTER VII

I conferred with a mild-spoken tin-canner at a Miami tin-can camp one hot February afternoon as to tin-canning in general. His wife, who was a capable and keen-witted lady in a...

26. CHAPTER VIII

OF THE MARVELOUS SITTING ABILITY OF THE TIN-CANNERS--OF THE PARKS IN WHICH THEY SIT--OF THE HORSESHOE BUGS AND THE CHECKER AND DOMINO BEETLES--OF THE DELICATE MOVEMENTS OF A CEL...

27. CHAPTER I

Everything grows in Florida. That is to say, everything grows in Florida that Florida people want to grow. That is Florida’s specialty: growing. Occasionally a few things get ou...

28. CHAPTER II

One can never tell beforehand what statements, phrases, remarks, words or inflections--or lack of these things--the staunch Floridans will regard as slighting or insulting. Some...

29. CHAPTER III

Let us return to the matter of growth in southern Florida. Everything, as has been said, grows there. There are twenty-nine varieties of palm trees; and one can spend an entire...

30. CHAPTER IV

Take Miami, for example. In 1896 Miami consisted of two small dwellings and a storehouse. Sometimes as many as ten Seminole Indians would be seen in the vicinity of these buildi...

31. CHAPTER V

The exact number of real-estate dealers in Miami is not known. Practically every one over eighteen years of age dabbles in real-estate at one time or another. Almost every one o...

32. CHAPTER VI

Subdivisions extend out of Miami in all directions--up the coast and down the coast and inland and out into the bay in the shape of islands. Palm Beach is seventy-five miles nor...

33. CHAPTER VII

The cupidity of farmers who are sick of northern winters is easily aroused by prices obtained for the best varieties of mangoes. “Their rich, spicy flavor, tempting fragrance an...

34. CHAPTER VIII

Off to the west of Miami lie the Everglades, first made famous by the Seminole War, when the United States Army spent upward of fifteen years trying to chase the Seminoles out o...

35. CHAPTER IX

The people who knew Miami prior to 1918 have in their minds an entirely different place from the Miami of to-day. The old Miami was a city first and a winter resort afterward. T...

36. CHAPTER X

Early in 1913, a wealthy Indianapolis business man named Carl G. Fisher came to Miami for his health. Fisher, from the days when he used to be a news butcher on Indiana trains,...

37. CHAPTER XI

In 1913 Miami Beach was an impenetrable jungle on a sand-spit and a swamp. In 1922 many a water-front lot was being sold for double the price that was paid for the original jung...

38. CHAPTER XII

Miami and Miami Beach are now connected by a curving concrete causeway three and a half miles long. New and spacious as it is, it is often too small to accommodate the thousands...

39. CHAPTER XIII

OF FLORIDA FISHING--OF THE TIGERISH BARRACUDA AND THE SURPRISED-LOOKING DOLPHIN--OF THE UNCONVENTIONAL HABITS OF THE WHIP-RAY AND THE VARYING ESTIMATES OF CAP’N CHARLEY THOMPSON...