Chapter 6

saving me, in the nick of time, from imposing any system, however perfect, upon my children. Perhaps you will enjoy reading it, too."

THE EMOTIONAL APPEAL

"Doing right from love of parent may easily become too strong a factor and too much reliance may be placed upon it. There are few dangers in child training more real than the danger of over working the emotional appeal. You do not wish your child to form the habit of working for approval, do you?"

THE FOOD QUESTION

"The food question can be met in less direct ways with your young baby. No food but that which is good for him need be seen. It is seldom good to have so young a child come to the family table. It is better he would have his own meals, so that he is satisfied with proper foods before the other appears. Or, if he must eat when you do, let him have a little low table to himself, spread with his own pretty little dishes and his own chair, with perhaps a doll for companion or playmate. From this level he cannot see or be tempted by the viands on the large table; yet, if his table is near your chair you can easily reach and serve him. It is a real torment to a young child to see things he must not touch or eat, and it is a perfectly unnecessary source of trouble.

"My four children ate at such a low table till the oldest was eight years old, when he was promoted to our table, and the others followed in due order."

AIR CASTLES

"What a wonderful reader you were as a child! and certainly the books you mention were far beyond you. Yet I can not quite agree that the habit of air-castle building is pernicious. Indeed I believe in it. It needs only to be balanced by practical effort, directed towards furnishing an earthly foundation for the castle. Build, then, as high and splendid as you like, and love them so hard that you are moved to lay a few stones on the solid earth as a beginning of a more substantial structure; and some day you may wake to find some of your castles coming true. Those practical foundation stones underlying a tremendous tower of idealism have a genuine magic power. Build all you like about your baby, for instance. Think what things Mary pondered in her heart.

"No, I'm never worried about idealism except when it is contented with itself and makes but little effort at outward realization. But the fact that you are taking this course proves that you will work to realize your ideals.

"I don't think it very bad either to read to 'kill time.' Though if you go on having a family, you won't have any time to kill in a very little while. But do read on when you can, otherwise you may be shut in, first you know, to too small a world, and a mother needs to draw her own nourishment from _all_ the world, past and present."

DUTY TO ONESELF

"Yes, I should say you were distinctly precocious, and that you are almost certainly suffering from the effects of that early brilliancy. But the degree was not so great as to permanently injure you, especially if you see what is the matter, and guard against repeating the mistakes of your parents. I mean that you can now treat your own body and mind and nerves as you wish they had treated them. Pretend that you are your own little child, and deal with yourself tenderly and gently, making allowances for the early strain to which you were subjected. So few of us American women, with our alert minds, and our Puritanic consciences, have the good sense and self-control to refrain from driving ourselves; and if, as often happens, we have formed the bad habit early in life, reform is truly difficult, but not impossible. We can get the good of our disability by conscientiously driving home the principle that in order to 'love others as ourselves' we must learn to _love ourselves as we love others_. We have literally no right to be unreasonably exacting toward ourselves,--but perhaps I am taking too much upon myself by preaching outside the realm of child study."

THE MOTHER AND THE TEACHER

"Your paper has been intensely interesting to me. I have always held that a true teacher was really a mother, though of a very large flock, just as a true mother is really a teacher, though of a very small school. The two points of view complete each other and I doubt if either mother or teacher can see truly without the other. They tell us, you know, that our two eyes, with their slight divergence of position, are necessary to make us, see things as having more than one side; and the mother and the teacher, one seeing the individual child, the other the child as the member of the race, need each other to see the child as the complex, many-sided individual he really is.

"In your school, do you manage to get the mothers to co-operate? Here, I am trying to get near my children's teachers. They try, too; but it is not altogether easy for any of us. We need some common meeting ground--some neutral activity which we could share. If you have any suggestions, I shall be glad to have them. Of course, I visit school and the teachers visit me, and we are friendly in an arm's length sort of fashion. That is largely because they believe in corporal punishment and practice it freely and it is hard for us to look straight at each other over this disagreement."

CORPORAL PUNISHMENT.

To the Matron of a Girls' Orphan Asylum

"Now to the specific questions you ask. My answers must, of course, be based upon general principles--the special application, often so very difficult a matter, must be left to you. To begin with corporal punishment. You say you are 'personally opposed, but that your early training and the literal interpretation of Solomon's rod keep you undecided.' Surely your own comment later shows that part, at least, of the influence of your early training was _against_ corporal punishment, because you saw and felt its evils in yourself. Such early training may have made you unapt in thinking of other means of discipline; but it can hardly have made you think of corporal punishment as _right_.

"And how can anyone take Solomon's rod any more literally than she does the Savior's cross? We are bid, on a higher authority than Solomon's proverbs, to take up our cross and follow Him. This we all interpret figuratively. Would you dream, for instance, of binding heavy crosses of wood upon the backs of your children because you felt yourselves so enjoined in the literal sense of the Scriptures? Why, then, take the rod literally? It is as clearly used to designate any form of orderly discipline as the cross is used to designate endurance of necessary sorrows. 'The letter killeth, but the spirit maketh alive.'

"As to your next question about quick results, I must recognize that you are in a most difficult position. For not the best conceivable intentions, nor the highest wisdom, can make the unnatural conditions you have to meet, as good as natural ones. In any asylum many purely artificial requirements must be made to meet the artificial situation. Time and space, those temporal appearances, grow to be menacing monsters, take to themselves the chief realities. Nevertheless, _so far as you are able_, you surely want to do the natural, right, unforced thing. And with each successful effort will come fresh wisdom and fresh strength for the next.

"Let me suggest, in the case you mention, of insolence, that three practical courses are open to you: one to send or lead the child quietly from the room, with the least aggressiveness possible, so as not further to excite her opposition, and to keep her apart from the rest until she is sufficiently anxious for society to be willing to make an effort to deserve it; or two, to do nothing, permitting a large and eloquent silence to accentuate the rebellious words; or three, to call for the condemnation of the child's mates. Speaking to one or two whose response you are sure of first, ask each one present for a expression of opinion. This is so severe a punishment that it ought not often to be invoked; but it is deadly sure."

STEALING

"The question of honesty is, indeed, most difficult. I do not think it would lower the standard of morality to _assume_ honesty, as the thing you expected to find, to accept almost any other explanation, to agree with the whole body of children that dishonesty was so much the fault of dreadfully poor people who had nothing unless they stole it, that it could not be their fault, who had so much--couldn't be the fault of anyone who was well brought up as they were. Emphasize, in story and side allusion, at all sorts of odd moments when no concrete desire called away the children's minds, the fact that honesty is to be expected everywhere, except among terribly unfortunate people--of course assuming that they with their good shelter and good schooling are among the fortunate ones. Then you will give each child not only plenty of everything, but things individualized, easily distinguished, and a place to put them in. I've often thought that the habit of buying things wholesale--so many dolls, all exactly alike, so many yards of calico for dresses, all exactly alike, leads, in institutions like yours, to a vague conception of private property, and even of individuality itself. If some room could be allowed for free choice--the children be allowed to buy their own calicoes, within a given price, or to choose the trimmings or style, etc. I feel sure the result would be a sturdier self-respect and a greater sense of that difference between individuals which needs emphasizing just as much as does the solidarity of individuals."

BIBLIOGRAPHY

BOOKS FOR MOTHERS

Fundamental Books (Philosophy of Education--Pedagogy)

The Science of Rights ($5.00, postage 30c), J.G. Fichte.

Education of Man ($1.50, postage 12c), Friedrich Froebel.

Mottoes and Commentaries of Froebel's Mother Play ($1.50, postage 14c), translated by Susan E. Blow.

The Part Played by Infancy in the Evolution of Man ($2.00, postage 15c), from "A Century of Science," article by John Fiske.

How Gertrude Teaches Her Children ($1.50, postage 14c), Pestalozzi.

Levana, Bohn Library ($1.00, postage 12c), Jean Paul Richter.

Education ($1.25, postage 12c), Herbert Spencer.

General Books on Education

Household Education ($1.25, postage 10c), Harriet Martineau.

Bits of Talk About Home Matters ($1.25, Postage 10c), H.H. Jackson.

Biography of a Baby ($1.50, postage 12c), Millicent Shinn.

Study of Child Nature ($1.00, postage 10c), Elizabeth Harrison.

Two Children of the Foot Hills ($1.25, postage 10c), Elizabeth Harrison.

The Moral Instruction of Children ($1.50, postage 14c), Felix Adler.

The Children of the Future ($1.00, postage 10c), Nora A. Smith.

Children's Rights ($1.00, postage 10c), Kate Douglas Wiggin and Nora A. Smith.

Republic of Childhood (3 vols., each $1.00; postage 10c), Kate Douglas Wiggin and Nora A. Smith.

Educational Reformers ($1.50, postage 14c), Quick.

Lectures to Kindergartners ($1.00, postage 10c), Elizabeth Peabody.

The Place of the Story in Early Education ($0.50, postage 6c), Sara E. Wiltse.

Children's Ways ($1.25, postage 10c), Sully.

Kindergarten and Child Culture Papers ($3.50, postage 20c), Barnard.

Adolescence (2 vols., $7.50; postage 56c), G. Stanley Hall.

Psychology and Advanced

The Mind of the Child (2 vols., each $1.50, postage 10c), W. Preyer.

The Intellectual and Moral Development of the Child ($1.50, postage 12c), G. Compayre.

Child Study ($1.25, postage 14c), Amy Tanner.

The Story of the Mind ($0.35, postage 6c), J. Mark Baldwin.

Psychology (Briefer Course, $1.60; postage 16c. Advanced Course, 2 vols., $4.80; postage 44c), James.

School and Society ($1.00, postage 10c), John Dewey.

Emile ($0.90, postage 8c), Rousseau.

Pedagogics of the Kindergarten ($1.50, postage 12c), Froebel.

Education by Development ($1.50, postage 12c), Froebel.

Kindergarten and Child Culture Papers, Henry Barnard.

Letters to a Mother on the Philosophy of Froebel ($1.50, postage 12c), Blow.

Studies of Childhood ($2.50, postage 20c), Sully.

Mental Development ($1.75, postage 16c), Baldwin.

Education of Central Nervous System ($1.00, postage 16c), Halleck.

Child Observations, Imitative Symbolic Education ($1.50, postage 12c), Blow.

Interest as Related to Will ($0.25, postage 6c), Dewey.

Religious Training

Christian Nurture ($1.25, postage 12c), Horace Bushnell.

On Holy Ground ($3.00, Postage 30c), W.L. Worcester.

The Psychology of Religion ($1.50, postage 14c), E.D. Starbuck.

The Sex Question

The Song of Life ($1.25, postage 12c), Margaret Morley.

What a Young Boy Ought to Know ($1.00, postage 10c), Rev. Sylvanus Stall.

What a Young Girl Ought to Know ($1.00, postage 10c), Rev. Sylvanus Stall.

Duties of Parents to Children in Regard to Sex ($0.40, postage 4c), Rev. Wm. L. Worcester.

How to Tell the Story of Reproduction to Children, Pamphlet 5c; order from Mothers' Union, 3408 Harrison Street, Kansas city, Mo.

Of General Interest to Mothers

Wilhelm Meister ($1.00, postage 14c), Goethe.

Story of My Life ($1.50, postage 14c), Helen Keller.

The Ordeal of Richard Feveril ($1.50, postage 14c), George Meredith.

Up from Slavery ($1.50, postage 14c), Booker T. Washington.

Emmy Lou ($1.50, Postage 14c), Mrs. George Madden Marten.

The Golden Age ($1.00, postage 10c), Kenneth Grahame.

Dream Days ($1.00, postage 10c), Kenneth Grahame.

In the Morning Glow ($1.25, Postage 12c), Roy Rolf Gilson.

Man and His Handiwork, Wood.

Primitive Industry ($5.00, postage 40c), Abbott.

Every Day Essays ($1.25, postage 10c), Marion Foster Washburne.

Family Secrets ($1.25, postage 10c), Marion Foster Washburne.

BOOKS FOR CHILDREN

Fairy Tales

Grimm's Fairy Tales ($0.50, postage 14c).

Andrew Lang's Green, Yellow, Blue and Red Fairy Books (each $0.50, postage 14c).

Hans Christian Andersen's Fairy Tales ($0.50, portage 14c).

Tanglewood Tales ($0.75, postage 14c), Hawthorne.

The Wonder Book ($0.75, postage 12c), Hawthorne.

Old Fashioned Fairy Tales by Tom Hood, retold by Marion Foster Washburne. (In press.)

Adventures of a Brownie, by Dinah Maria Mulock Craik. Edited by Marion Foster Washburne. (In press.)

A Few Books for Various Ages

Water Babies ($0.75, postage 12c), Charles Kingsley.

At the Back of the North Wind ($0.75, postage 12c), George McDonald.

Little Lame Price ($0.50, postage 8c), Dinah Maria Mulock Craik.

In the Child World ($2.00, postage 16c), Emilie Poulson.

Nature Myths ($0.35, postage 6c), Flora J. Cooke.

Sharp Eyes ($2.50, postage 18c), Gibson.

Stories Mother Nature Told ($0.50, postage 6c), Jane Andrew.

Jungle Books (2 vols, each $1.50; postage 16c), Kipling.

Just-So Stories ($1.20, postage 12c), Kipling.

Music for Children

Finger Plays ($1.25, postage 12c), Emilie Poulson.

Fifty Children's Songs, Reinecke.

Songs of the Child World (2 vols., each $1.00; postage 12c), Gaynor.

Songs for the Children (2 vols., each $1.25; postage 14c), Eleanor Smith.

30 Selected Studies (Instrumental), ($1.50, postage 14c), Heller.

Pictures for Children

Detaille Prints, Boutet de Monvil, Joan of Arc.

Caldecott: Picture Books (4 vols., each $1.25; postage 12c).

Walter Crane: Picture Books ($1.25, postage 10c).

Colored illustrations cut from magazines, notably those drawn by Howard Pyle, Elizabeth Shippen Greene, and Jessie Wilcox Smith.

See articles in "Craftsman" for December, 1904, February and April, 1905, "Decorations for School Room and Nursery."

_Note_.--Books in the above list may be purchased through the American School of Home Economics at the prices given. Members of the School will receive students' discount.

Program for Supplemental Work

on the

STUDY OF CHILD LIFE

By Marion Foster Washburne.

MEETING I

Infancy. (Study pages 3-25)

(a) Its Meaning. See Fiske on "The Part Played by Infancy in the Evolution of Man" in "A Century of Science" (16c).

(b) General Laws of Progression. See Millicent Shinn's "Biography of a Baby" (12c), and W. Preyer's "The Mind of the Child" (20c). Give resumes of these two books.

(c) Practical Conclusions. Hold Experience Meeting to conclude afternoon.

MEETING II

Faults and Their Remedies. (Study pages 26-57)

(a) General Principles of Moral Training. Read Herbert Spencer on "Education" (12c), chapter on "Punishment"; also call for quotations from H.H. Jackson's "Bits of Talk About Home Matters" (10c).

(b) Corporal Punishment. Why It Is Wrong.

(c) Positive Versus Negative Moral Training. Read extracts from Froebel's "Education of Man" (12c), and Richter's "Levana" (12c), Kate Douglas Wiggin's "Children's Rights" (10c), and Elizabeth Harrison's "Study of Child Nature" (10c), are easier and pleasanter reading, sound, but less fundamental. Choice may be made between these two sets of books, according to conditions.

(Select answer to test questions on Part I and send them to the School.)

MEETING III

Character Building. (Study pages 59-75)

Read extracts from Froebel, Pestalozzi, and Harriet Martineau.

(a) From Froebel to show general principles (12c).

(b) From Pestalozzi (14c) or if that is not available, from "Mottoes and Commentaries on Froebel's Mother-Play" (14c), to show ideal application of these general principles.

(c) From Harriet Martineau's "Household Education" (10c), "Children's Rights" (10c), to show actual application of these general principles. Experience meeting.

MEETING IV

Educational Value of Play and Occupations. (Study pages 78-99)

(a) General Principles--Quote authorities from past to present. Read from "Education of Man" (12c) and "Mother Play" (14c).

(b) Representative and Symbolic Plays. See "Education of Man" (12c) and "Letters to a Mother on the Philosophy of Froebel" (12c). Dancing and Drama from Richter's "Levana" (12c).

(c) Nature's Playthings (Earth, Air, Fire, and Water). Ask members of class to describe plays of their own childhood and tell what they meant to them.

(Select answer to test questions on Part II.)

MEETING V

Art and Literature in Child Life. (Study pages 100-112)

Ask members to bring good pictures and story-books, thus making exhibit.

(a) Place of Pictures in Children's Lives. Of Color. Of Modeling. Influence of artistic surroundings. If anyone knows of a model nursery or schoolroom, let her describe it. Are drawing and modeling at school "fads" or living bases for educational processes? See Dewey on "The School and Society" (10c).

(b) Place of fiction in education. See "The Place of the Story in Early Education" (6c).

(c) Accomplishments. Practical discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of music lessons, the languages, and other work out of school. See "Adolescence," by G. Stanley Hall.

MEETING VI

Social and Religious Training. (Study pages 114-140 and Supplement)

(a) The Question of Associations. See Dewey's "The School and Society" (10c), "The Republic of Childhood" (30c). Quote "Up from Slavery" (14c) and "Story of My Life" (14c), to show that the humblest companions may sometimes be the most desirable.

(b) The New Education. See catalogues of the Francis W. Parker School, Chicago, Ill., (4c); The Elementary School, University of Chicago, (6c); State Normal School, Hyannis, Mass., (4c); "School Gardens," Bulletin No. 160, Office of Experiment Stations, Department of Agriculture, Washington, D.C., (2c).

(c) The Sex Question. Where are the foundations of morality laid--church, school, home, or street? Read entire, "Duties of Parents to Children in Regard to Sex" (pamphlet, 5c).

(d) Religious Training. Read from "Christian Nurture" (12c) and "Psychology of Religion" (14c). (Select answer to test questions on