Step Lively! A Carload of the Funniest Yarns that Ever Crossed the Footlights

"All right; that's just how it stands. You wriggle into your clothes now, and make a record doing it. You see, the hotel's on fire, and--and--gee! Don't talk like that, Brother...

An' there ain't no good o' slidin' 'Neath the bedclothes--she won't leave-- For she knows yer only hidin' An' yer got ter rise to breathe, So she'll hover 'round there buzzin' '...

The manager said to me this morning: "Just give 'em a little nonsense, Mr. Niblo. You know a little nonsense, now and then, is relished by the best of men."

"I see you speak of the audience 'drinking in the marvelous strains of the orchestra.' That is a hackneyed phrase, I know, but tell me, how in the name of Heaven can any one dri...