CHAPTER VII.

SOME REMARKS UPON MARRIAGES, BIRTHS, AND BURIALS. [HI-DY].

In our Flowery Kingdom when a man marries _he_ pays to the parents or relatives; but with the Barbarians the woman pays to the man. Women are such costly burdens that men demand some compensation for undertaking to keep them; and the relatives of women are glad to get them off their hands at any price.

There are in England four great Castes, which contain the whole population. The habits of the Castes differ, though you will observe certain characteristic features common to all. In order to understand more clearly the remarks which follow, it will be convenient to speak of the division of Castes.

The _first_--High-Caste. Those who do nothing useful and pass their time in mere self-indulgence.

The _second_--High-second Caste. Those who do but very little, and come as nearly as possible to the selfish existence of the _first_.

The _third_--High-low. Those who are obliged to work more or less, but are ever longing to attain to the idle selfishness of those above them.

The _fourth_--Lowest Caste (Villeins). Labourers, not long since serfs, and still so in effect.

The _fourth_ Caste is so _low down_ as to be usually disregarded altogether, in any account of the people, though included in the count taken of the population by Government. They may amount to nearly a half of the whole. They are rarely styled _people_ at all. They are designated by many contemptuous names, of which the more common are _my man_, _navvy_, _clown_, _clod-hopper_, _parish-poor_; _boor_, _rough_, _brute_, and _beast_ are frequent, especially when any of the despised Caste slouch too near, or happen to touch a Higher Caste.

When a man of the higher orders thinks to take a wife, he sees to it that she will bring him money enough to compensate the cost. He dislikes to part with his easy freedom and yoke to himself a being as selfish, frivolous, and useless as himself.

_He_ may be broken in fortune and notorious for immoralities, yet, connected to the Aristocracy, he knows that he may demand a large sum if he will take for wife a woman a little lower in family than himself. She must be of High-Caste, but not of the highest.

The woman's relatives say, "Well, he is _fast_; but marriage will settle him. His father, you know, is second son to the Earl of Nolands, and his mother was a sixth cousin to the Duke of Albania, who has royal blood in his veins. I think we may make a large allowance for such a desirable match." It does not occur to the speaker, at the moment, that the royal blood coursed through very impure channels in the case cited.

It is an object eagerly sought by low rich to buy for their daughters a High-Caste husband; and men of this kind, ruined by gambling, loaded with debt, often degraded by vice, deliberately calculate upon this ambition to repair their fortunes, and get comfortable establishments.

The marriage ceremonies do not differ very much from ours, in some things; but it is very different before the ceremony. With us, the woman is unknown to the man; but with the English, the man has every opportunity of seeing her, and knowing her very well indeed. Our notions could not admit of this, but it has a convenience; it would prevent the disappointment occasionally arising, when, on opening the door of the _chair_, our new husband finds a very ugly duck instead of a fine bird, and hastily slams the door in the poor thing's face, and hurries her back to her relatives as a bad bargain! However, this advantage to the English husband is not so great as it seems; for the woman is too cunning to discover much till she has secured her game. Unless, therefore, the man be a very cool and practised _lover_ [mu-nse], he is likely to be rather astonished when he sees his bride--and he cannot slam the door against her!

The Bonzes, generally, perform the ceremony before the Idol in the Temple. It is deemed to be important to have the marriage _invocations_ pronounced. These are barbarous in the extreme; most indelicately alluding to those things which decorum hides, and calling the gods to aid the conjugal embrace--no wonder that the bride wears a veil!

The great bells ring in the lofty towers, the loud music strikes up, and the marriage procession enters the Temple; and any one may follow who pleases, so he be well dressed. In the great towns, the beggarly rabble--chiefly children and half-grown youths of both sexes, with old women and men--crowd about the Temple gates, but dare not enter. When the _cortège_ leaves, this rabble clusters round the wheels of the carriages, turning over and over upon hands and feet, standing on head and hands, rolling and crying out, in the dust or mud of the street, begging for _pennies_ (a small English coin). When these are thrown amongst them, they ridiculously scramble and tumble over each other, seeking amid the dirt for the coins, like so many carrion-birds upon garbage.

Arrived at the home of the Bride, a great feast is eaten, with wine and strong drinks. All make merry; whether because it is so desirable to be rid of a female, or because of the liking which the Barbarians have for eating and drink, I know not. The feasting over, all take leave of the new pair, the bride being addressed by the title of her husband. The Bride is kissed, the husband shaken [qui-ke] by the right hand, and good wishes given. On leaving the portal for the carriage, old shoes [ko-blse] and handfuls of rice are thrown after them; the rabble roosting about the areas and railings rush _pell-mell_ after the old shoes, begin their _tumblings_ about the street, and howl for more pennies. The rice-throwing is no doubt Eastern in origin, and has an obvious meaning; the old shoes refer to something in the _Superstition_--probably to appease the _evil imps_, who delight in mischief and are amused by the absurd squabbles of the beggars.

The _Honey-moon_ begins at the moment when the pair enter the carriage and the old shoes are thrown after them. The horses start, and the newly-married are whirled away into the deeps of an Unknown! You may, perhaps, catch a glimpse of the bride, wistfully stretching her neck and turning her eyes, dimned with tears, to the door-steps where stand those with whom she has lived--and whom she now, it may be, suddenly finds are very dear to her! But the husband has grasped the waist of his new possession, and is absorbed in _that_. He has before been the owner of horses, dogs, and the like, which have worn his collar--_this_ is another and very different bit of flesh and blood; none the less, however, branded as his own exclusive possession, and ever after to bear _his_ name! He understands so well the mere _fiction_ of this ownership, that he is by no means sure that after all he have not made a _bad bargain_--it may prove _too_ costly, and be by no means either useful or obedient! However, with his arm about his _wife_, just now he hardly realises these doubts, but feels, or tries to feel, _ecstatic_--as he ought.

The Honey-moon thus begun, ends exactly with one moon. It is a received opinion that the Incantations at the _rite_ exorcise the Evil One for the period absolutely, though he may (as the Barbarians express it) "play the very Devil" with them afterwards!

I was told that the Honey-moon was so called because, during the Moon, the new couple fed wholly on honey and drank weak tea! There is some _mystery_ attached to it, for my questions were always answered with a doubtful look. I had no opportunity of absolutely solving it--though my observation led me to judge that the honey diet did not agree with people--in truth, I wonder at its use. I have seen a bride after her return, thin, pale, peevish, who had left round and rosy; a bridegroom before the moon _jolly_ [Qui-ky] and devoted to his bride, return taciturn, careless, forgetful to pick up a fan, or to place a chair for his wife, and even (on the sly) kick the very poodle which he before-time caressed! and when the wife _pouting_ has said, "_Out again, George_," he has replied, lighting a cigar, "_Yas, I must meet the fellahs, you know_!"

The best hint on this subject which I ever got was from a married Englishmen, who to my query said, "Ah-Chin, my dear fellah, call Honey-moon _Matrimonial Discovery_, and think about it, ha!"

As the honey-eating and tea-drinking are to go on, whilst the new couple are quite retired by themselves, away from their friends and all usual pastimes and occupations, necessarily they have only _each other_ to look at with attention. The honey-eating is trying enough, and needs, one would think, all the relief of gaiety and occupation possible! But no, it is only to eat and to closely watch each other!

I wonder no more at the changes which I observed. Nor do I wonder at the improved appearance of the couple when, after a few weeks of rational life in usual pursuits, something like the health and cheerfulness of old returned!

Yet I was informed that very many couples never recover from the Honey-moon (as my informant had it, Matrimonial Discovery), but from bad grew worse, soured and sickened entirely, could not, at length, endure each other, separated by consent, or sought the Divorce Court!

The thing, therefore, seems characteristic of the coarse humour of the Barbarians, who appear to find a comedy in an absurd, irrational trial of respect and affection, dangerously near the tragic at best, and often absolutely so! _Absurd and irrational after marriage_--one can conjecture its use before! However, it is quite of a piece with the general disorder, and want of knowledge and practice of sound principles.

When a child is born, the event is duly announced in the public _Gazette_, and relatives send _compliments_. When the infant is about eight days old, it is taken to a Temple to be baptised and _christened_. It is a singular _rite_, and one of the most astonishing in the Superstition. The Bonze who officiates before the Idol, takes the little thing upon his arm and _sprinkles_ some water upon its face. At the moment he does this, he makes a curious Invocation to all the _three-gods-in-one_ of the Worship, and pronounces aloud the _Christian_ name of the babe, by which it shall ever after be known. This is called _Christening_, that is, making a Christian of the infant. The ceremony, it is believed, exorcises the Evil One, and makes it very difficult for him to get hold of the baptised (no matter how diabolically he may act) in after life--the water, duly made _holy_ by the Priest, is a barrier over which Satan, with all his wiles, shall find it well-nigh impossible ever to get--some Bonzes say it is absolutely impossible!

Women, as soon as strong enough to attend the Temples, are _churched_ (we have no term of the kind), a _rite_ much like an ordinary _thanks offering_, for the happy deliverance and new birth. The Bonze makes _Invocations_, and refers to the various superstitions and barbarous pretensions of the Worship, devotion to which is inculcated under fearful penalties. However, on all occasions in the Temples, these dreadful intimations of Hell and the Devil are most frequent!

When a death occurs, it is also announced in the public _Gazette_, with honours and titles; and, if a High-Caste, with a long notice of the chief events of his life, and loud praises of his valour, as where he led, in his youth, a hand of fierce Barbarians like himself to the plunder and burning of some distant tribe! His virtues are also proclaimed--to the astonishment of all who _knew_ him!

The tombs of the High-Castes are something like those of our _Literati_--though, instead of being in the country amid the pleasing scenes of Nature, they are generally in the _holy_ grounds of the Temples, and even within the Temples themselves--for the superstitious Barbarians think that, even _after death_, the body is safer from the Devil _there_ than elsewhere! But the common people lie hideously huddled together, without distinguishing marks (or with so slight as to be quickly obliterated), and are soon totally neglected and forgotten--happy, indeed, if their despised dust may mingle with _holy_ earth within the precincts of Temples.

The Bonzes pray and sing the usual invocations and prayers over the body of the dead, before it is placed in the tomb--but there is no real respect for the dead--it is not to be looked for in the rough, barbaric nature. In our _Flowery Kingdom_ regard for the dead, respect for their memory, tombs carefully preserved amid the quiet groves of the country, tablets and busts set up in the _Halls of Ancestors_--these are ordinary things. With the English, in general, the dead is a hideous object turned over to the undertaker and his minions to be buried out of sight, as soon as decency allows! With us, the poorest will have the coffin ready, prepared, and carefully honoured and cared for. With the English, the thought of one is repulsive, and he looks upon it with loathing! No doubt the horrid superstition has much to do with this feeling.

The undertakers (a hateful crew) drape everything in black. They take possession of everything, and turn the whole house into a charnel. They place the _defunct_ (as the Barbarians, with a kind of contempt, call the dead) in a black vehicle, drawn by black horses, and draped with black cloth--black feathers and scarfs, hideously flaunted, with men clothed in black, attend--the dismal Hearse, with its wretched accompaniments, disappears--but only to disgorge the body. Soon after these Vultures maybe seen returning, seated upon the Hearse, clustering there, like carrion birds, who have gorged themselves! When they have feasted and drunk at the House of Woe (woe, indeed, whilst deified by them), and generally spent as much money as is possible--they, at last, disappear--and the family breathe again!

An English Barbarian once told me that these creatures, in tricks of plunder and cheating, surpass the Lawyers; in truth, the fashion is to show respect to the dead by a lavish expenditure in _black draperies_, and is almost wholly confined to that. It is an object to speak of the _cost_ as a measure of that respect! The whole thing being a _sham_, though a most disagreeable one, the Undertaker sees well enough that he might as well pocket a large sum as a small one. A certain sum is to be spent, _for respect_, not for any tangible thing. The Undertaker takes care to furnish more _respect_ than anything more tangible--and to charge for it! In fact, the mode of plunder is reduced to a system; and it just as well satisfies the real purpose--which is, to do all that is customary, and to submit to all the customary cheating.

After the family have really got rid of the Undertaker, then comes the Lawyer, with the Bonze, to read the _Will_ of the deceased. This is a new departure (as the English call it) in the family voyage of life. The Barbarian law is so erratic and confused, that no one knows what the dead man may have ordered to be done with his _money_. His Land goes probably to the eldest son, or nearest male relative; and, if it be all the property, younger children may be left quite beggared. The Will begins with some absurd superstitious _formula_; and, prepared by a Lawyer, is only intelligible to him. He, therefore, is present to read and to explain. For no one is supposed to comprehend its jargon but the _initiated_. The Will is read, therefore, to those who only imperfectly catch its meaning; and when a _name_ is reached, the party listens with an eager attention. He may be one who, by nearness of blood, or by the nature of his relations with the deceased, expects to receive a handsome gift. When he, at length, from the mass of verbiage, dimly gathers only a _gold ring_ or a gold-headed _walking-stick_, and sees some one, scarcely heard of, carry off the goods long waited for, he scarcely appreciates the _loving token of regard_ ostentatiously bestowed upon him! Nor is his smothered rage extinguished by the satisfactory expression of other relatives, who whisper, "Well, _he_ cringed and fawned to little purpose after all!"

From this Reading of the Will begins a new era in the family. Quarrels there may have been, but a common centre of influence and interest kept the contestants in order. But now, nobody satisfied (or only those who expected nothing, and _got it_), all are in a mood to attack any one, to charge somebody with meanness, with treachery. So bitter animosities spring up. Lawsuits, hatreds; families are severed; old friendships sundered; the lawyers stimulate the broils; and, at last, very likely the Will and all the property covered by it get into Chancery! When I have said this, I have said quite clearly, even to the Barbarian mind, that _here_ all are equally wretched and equally impoverished, excepting the Lawyers!

The power of the dead man, by a _Will_, to cut off a wife or a son with a _shilling_ (as the Barbarians express it), is monstrous. Then the unjust law, by which the next of kin takes all the Lands of a deceased, works endless misery. Think of younger brothers and younger sisters being forced to depend upon the _cold charity_ of the oldest, who, by mere accident of birth, takes every thing! And not only this, but some distant _male_ relative may cut off the very means of subsistence from females very near, and throw them helpless, and too poor to buy husbands, upon the world! A disgrace and shame too shocking for belief.

Then, too, the wife's relatives may have paid to her husband the very money which, by the Will, is coolly handed to a stranger!

Such anomalies are unknown to the customs of any well-ordered and civilised people.

The new Widow usually remains shut up in her house, inaccessible to all but her children, her servants, her Bonze, and her Lawyer, for twelve moons exactly. During this time she devotes herself to the prayers and invocations of the _rites_; and will not so much as look at a man, unless the exceptions named. She is wholly draped in black; her children, her servants, even her horses and dogs, are _in black_. She entirely quits all the _vanities_ of life; she only allows her maid to _smooth_ her hair. She suffers her hands and face to be washed, but never paints her cheeks, nor tints her eyelashes. If she go abroad, it is to the Temple to pray, or to the tomb (in some cases) of the "dear departed," covered from head to feet in thick black, followed by a tall footman, all black, bearing the _Sacred Rites_. If a man come too near, he is waved, with a solemn gesture of the hand, to remove away: this is the special duty of the _flunkey_. If, by any chance, the widow in her march happen to lift her thick veil, and catch the eye of a man,--ah! how dolorous must her prayers be!

Precisely at the stroke of time, when twelve moons have gone, the widow drops all the _habiliments of woe_, and is herself again!--that is, a woman in search of a husband!--_if she_ have not, from clear, sheer desperation, and want of anything better to do, already pledged herself to her Priest or to her Lawyer. Now, free and at liberty to choose, she may wish to look further; but it is probable that "the inestimable services" of the Lawyer, in her time of misery, hold her to recompense; or that the Priest, attentive to the precept of the _Sacred Writings_ (which commands that _Widows shall be comforted_), has so well obeyed, that the Widow, completely solaced by the _dear, good man_, gladly rests with him!

The great book of _Rites and Customs_ regulating the conduct of widows, of widowers--in fact, the observances of _Society_ generally--I have never been able to see. It is in the care and under the constant supervision of a High-Caste of exalted state, from whose authority there is no appeal, styled _Missus Grundy_. I think a stranger can in no case be allowed to see this Illustrious, nor the Book. Indeed, I was told that no one, not even Royalty itself, could inspect the Book, nor challenge this authority. It is hereditary in the mighty Grundy family; and the head of the House is believed to be infallible in social observances. Another remarkable thing is, there is never a failure in the succession--a Grundy is always on hand!

Now, _Missus Grundy_ speaks with more tolerance as to Widowers: they are not absolutely liable to decapitation if they marry again in less than twelve moons. Widowers, for reasons I do not know, are favourites with the Barbarian females; and young women with money will give all they possess to get a Widower, even when he have many children. It may be because of the love for the "_pretty dears_," as the young ones are called; but, whatever the cause, the fact is certain. To gratify these gushing females, _Missus Grundy_ allows a Widower to marry in a less time than twelve moons: it is so desirable that the _pretty dears_ should have the tender care of a new (step) mother!

As the Barbarians have no _Halls of Ancestors_, where the family preserve with dutiful care the records of the virtuous dead--inscribed on tablets of brass or polished stone--and where, arranged in due order, stand the marble busts of those more distinguished--they soon forget the dead.

The High-Castes sometimes set up monuments in public places; in Temples and the Temple-burial grounds; and inscribe thereon lofty panegyrics, as false in fact as they are bad in style--and no more thought is given to them. In truth, these monuments are always considered to be to the honour of the _living_--who take the occasion to display their own wealth, characters, titles, or taste.

The Lower-Castes do but little more than hurry to the grave the dead body, and dismiss the "unpleasant topic" as quickly as possible--imitating as well as they are able the High-Caste, by setting up a _Stone-slab_, carved with a ruder but not truer description. Couplets in verse are often added; and, as giving an idea of the humorous and coarse conceit of the Barbarian mind, I will insert some of these _Inscriptions_.

Often the slabs are flat upon the ground, and the tombs ruinous and neglected; in fact, very generally the burial-places, though _holy_, are in a wretched condition--tombs fallen, stones and tablets prostrated, graves quite worn away by the careless feet of passers; the whole place wearing a sad air of utter neglect and forgetfulness. One discovers a better culture making some progress, by curiously regarding these stones, inscribed with memorials of the dead. They have slowly become less uncouth, less barbarous, and less devoted to the wildest vagaries of the _Superstition_. However, this observation is to be taken in a very general sense.

Often, in the country, I have stumbled upon a singularly-built old stone Temple--standing quite alone, with the tombs and the tablets of the dead, clustering beneath the shadow of the lofty, square tower of hewn stone. Upon the hill-side, with a lovely view of hills, and soft vales, and rich fields of ripening corn, and scattered groves--with green meadows divided by flowering shrubs, where the flocks and the cattle fed. Near by, orchards, white and pink in blossoms; and all the air fragrant with a delicate perfume. At my feet, a few houses nestling among lofty elms--far away to the West, the sun shining above with slanting rays across a wide expanse of beauty--sitting upon a stone bench, beneath the ivy-covered Temple-porch, I have looked upwards to the serene sky, and outwards upon the tranquil and lovely scene; and I have known no Barbarian rudeness, felt no Barbarian Idolatry. The solemn Temple, eloquent in silence, the unbroken rest of the dead, the calm and delightful presence of Nature, these were here, these are there; man unites his grateful worship across the wide world--the Sovereign Lord _is_ worshipped, though darkly, by these Barbarians! And in this worship (in time to be purified) we are one!

But I must give some specimens of Barbarian Inscriptions--by them called _Epitaphs_, when written to the dead--taken from tablets in places of burial.

"Here lies an old maid, Hannah Myers; She was rather cross, and not over pious; Who died at the age of threescore and ten, And gave to the grave what she denied to the men!"

Another:--

"Poor Mary Baines has gone away, 'Er would if 'er could but a couldn't stay! 'Er 'ad two sore legs, and a baddish cough, But 'er legs it were as carried her off!"

Here is one which refers to certain mineral [zi-kli] waters, prized by the Barbarians for curative properties:--

"Here I lies with my four darters, All from drinking 'em Cheltenham Waters; If we 'ad kept to them Epsom Salts, We wouldn't a laid in these 'ere waults."

Here seems to be one, not uncommon, which covertly shows its disdain for the gods of the _Superstition_:--

"Here lie I, Martin Elginbrod-- Have mercy on my soul, Lord God! As I would on thine, were I Lord God, And you were Martin Elginbrod!"

The following is most absurd:--

"Here lie I, as snug As a bug in a rug!"

And some equally _funny_ relative placed near, but not probably pleased with him, adds:--

"And here lie I, more snug Than that t'other bug!"

A slang term for a low, brutal fellow.

The following turns upon the word lie [pha-li], and the word lie [pu-si]:--

"Lie long on him, good Earth-- For he _lied_ long, God knows, on Thee!"

This is ridiculous in manner of quoting from the _Sacred Writings_; and adding, without proper pause, the death of another person:--

"He swallowed up death in victory And also Jerusha Jones Aged sixty!"

Here follow references to the Superstitious horrors:--

"Whilst sinners [kri-mi] burn in hell, In paradise, with Thee, I dwell!"

Another:--

"When the last trump doth sound, No more shall I be bound Within the earth; My soul shall soar above, To shout redeeming love, Which gave me heavenly birth!"

This I fear will be scarcely intelligible. The _last trump_ refers to a statement in the _Sacred Writings_, where it is said that a great Trumpet shall awake the dead, and so on. Probably, the remainder may be guessed by attentive readers of these _Observations_.

The next intimates that the couple had been quarrel-some, but had, at last, silenced their bickerings in a common grave:

"Here lies Tom Bobbin, And his wife Mary-- Cheek by jowl, And never weary-- No wonder they so well agree: Tim wants no punch, And Moll no tea!"

These refer to occupations. By a cook:--

_To Memory of Mary Lettuce_:--

"If you want to please your pallet, Cut down a lettuce to make a salad."

By a sailor [ma-te-lo]:--

"Here lies Tom Bowline, His timbers stove in-- Will never put to sea ag'in!"

"Below lies Jonathan Saul, Spitalfields weaver-- That's all!"

Spitalfields is a famous place for silk-weaving [tni-se-ti].

* * * * *

I need not make any criticism upon these things. They would be impossible to our better culture and refinement. Our _Book of Rites_ would not suffer such low conceits to see the light if, by any chance, any one should indulge in them privately.

It may be said in fairness that these are specimens of the _low_, and with _these_ there is less indecency than formerly. There are, however, abundant samples even among the Higher Castes, of things in really as bad taste, though in neater language--quite as _offensive_, but to the feelings of right reason rather than to those of literary delicacy. They refer to the _canons_ of the Idolatry, and seem, to a stranger to that Presumption, quite incredible.

However, one must reflect upon the effect of superstition, long ingrained, and "born and bred" till its _enormities_ are as familiar as the most harmless images; and its blessings appropriated, and its curses distributed, with an equal equanimity!

I have not referred to the great Pageants when High-Castes are buried who have been famous as Braves, either in distant forays with armed bands upon the Heathen, or among _Christian_ tribes of the Main Land. Or, perhaps, some high chief who has ordered the great _Fire-ships_ in burning and plundering beyond the Seas. I have not referred to these, because they _are_ merely shows, and do not in any sense apply any especial characteristic. One thing I have remarked--there seems to be no respect for the dead, they are immediately forgotten, and the very _monuments_ ordered to be set up probably never appear; or after so long a period, that a new generation wonders who can be meant by the _figure_ which rises in some public place! And when these _are_ once placed on their pedestals, neglect falls upon them in a mantle of indescribable filth. Even _royalty_ cannot have the royal robes of marble so much as washed by the common street hydrant [phi-pi].

It is impossible not to feel that the cold and coarse feelings of the Barbarians are, in respect of the dead, rendered more repulsive by the horrid features of the Idolatry. In this there is so much to brutalise and render callous, that it is only as _it_ is disregarded, that the natural human feelings come into play, and tenderness and delicacy find expression.