Chapter 4
'You did,' said Learoyd with a childish gravity that made Ortheris yell with laughter, for Mulvaney was always impressing upon us his great merits in the old days.
'Did I iver tell you,' Mulvaney continued calmly, 'that I was wanst more av a divil than I am now?'
'Mer--ria! You don't mean it?' said Ortheris.
'Whin I was Corp'ril--I was rejuced aftherwards--but, as I say, _whin_ I was Corp'ril, I was a divil of a man.'
He was silent for nearly a minute, while his mind rummaged among old memories and his eye glowed. He bit upon the pipe-stem and charged into his tale.
'Eyah! They was great times. I'm ould now; me hide's wore off in patches; sinthrygo has disconceited me, an' I'm a married man tu. But I've had my day--I've had my day, an' nothin' can take away the taste av that! Oh my time past, whin I put me fut through ivry livin' wan av the Tin Commandmints between Revelly and Lights Out, blew the froth off a pewter, wiped me moustache wid the back av me hand, an' slept on ut all as quiet as a little child! But ut's over--ut's over, an' 'twill niver come back to me; not though I prayed for a week av Sundays. Was there _any_ wan in the Ould Rig'mint to touch Corp'ril Terence Mulvaney whin that same was turned out for sedukshin? I niver met him. Ivry woman that was not a witch was worth the runnin' afther in those days, an' ivry man was my dearest frind or--I had stripped to him an' we knew which was the betther av the tu.
'Whin I was Corp'ril I wud not ha' changed wid the Colonel--no, nor yet the Commandher-in-Chief. I wud be a Sargint. There was nothin' I wud not be! Mother av Hivin, look at me! Fwhat am I _now?_
'We was quartered in a big cantonmint--'tis no manner av use namin' names, for ut might give the barricks disrepitation--an' I was the Imperor av the Earth to my own mind, an' wan or tu women thought the same. Small blame to thim. Afther we had lain there a year, Bragin, the Colour Sargint av E Comp'ny, wint an' took a wife that was lady's maid to some big lady in the Station. She's dead now is Annie Bragin--died in child-bed at Kirpa Tal, or ut may ha' been Almorah--seven--nine years gone, an' Bragin he married agin. But she was a pretty woman whin Bragin inthrojuced her to cantonmint society. She had eyes like the brown av a buttherfly's wing whin the sun catches ut, an' a waist no thicker than my arm, an' a little sof' button av a mouth I would ha' gone through all Asia bristlin' wid bay'nits to get the kiss av. An' her hair was as long as the tail av the Colonel's charger--forgive me mentionin' that blunderin' baste in the same mouthful with Annie Bragin--but'twas all shpun gold, an' time was when a lock av ut was more than di'monds to me. There was niver pretty woman yet, an' I've had thruck wid a few, cud open the door to Annie Bragin.
''Twas in the Cath'lic Chapel I saw her first, me oi rolling round as usual to see fwhat was to be seen.
“You're too good for Bragin, my love,” thinks I to mesilf, “but that's a mistake I can put straight, or my name is not Terence Mulvaney.”
'Now take my wurrd for ut, you Orth'ris there an' Learoyd, an' kape out av the Married Quarters--as I did not. No good iver comes av ut, an' there's always the chance av your bein' found wid your face in the dirt, a long picket in the back av your head, an' your hands playing the fifes on the tread av another man's doorstep. 'Twas so we found O'Hara, he that Rafferty killed six years gone, when he wint to his death wid his hair oiled, whistlin' _Larry O'Rourke_ betune his teeth. Kape out av the Married Quarters, I say, as I did not. 'Tis onwholesim, 'tis dangerous, an' 'tis ivrything else that's bad, but--O my sowl, 'tis swate while ut lasts!
'I was always hangin' about there whin I was off duty an' Bragin wasn't, but niver a sweet word beyon' ordinar' did I get from Annie Bragin. “'Tis the pervarsity av the sect,” sez I to mesilf, an' gave my cap another cock on my head an' straightened my back--'twas the back av a Dhrum Major in those days--an' wint off as tho' I did not care, wid all the women in the Married Quarters laughin', I was pershuaded--most bhoys _are_ I'm thinkin'--that no woman born av woman cud stand against me av I hild up my little finger. I had reason fer thinkin' that way--till I met Annie Bragin.
'Time an' agin whin I was blandandherin' in the dusk a man wud go past me as quiet as a cat. “That's quare,” thinks I, “for I am, or I should be, the only man in these parts. Now what divilment can Annie be up to?” Thin I called myself a blayguard for thinkin' such things; but I thought thim all the same. An' that, mark you, is the way av a man.
'Wan evenin' I said:--“Mrs. Bragin, manin' no disrespect to you, who is that Corp'ril man”--I had seen the stripes though I cud niver get sight av his face--“_who_ is that Corp'ril man that comes in always whin I'm goin' away?”
'“Mother av God!” sez she, turnin' as white as my belt, “have _you_ seen him too?”
'“Seen him!” sez I; “av coorse I have. Did ye want me not to see him, for”--we were standin' talkin' in the dhark, outside the veranda av Bragin's quarters--“you'd betther tell me to shut me eyes. Onless I'm mistaken, he's come now.”
'An', sure enough, the Corp'ril was walkin' to us, hangin' his head down as though he was ashamed av himsilf.
'“Good-night, Mrs. Bragin,” sez I, very cool; “'tis not for me to interfere wid your _a-moors;_ but you might manage things wid more dacincy. I'm off to canteen,” I sez.
'I turned on my heel an' wint away, swearin' I wud give that man a dhressin' that wud shtop him messin' about the Married Quarters for a month an' a week. I had not tuk ten paces before Annie Bragin was hangin' on to my arm, an' I cud feel that she was shakin' all over.
'“Stay wid me, Mister Mulvaney,” sez she; “you're flesh an' blood, at the least--are ye not?”
'“I'm _all_ that,” sez I, an' my anger wint away in a flash. “Will I want to be asked twice, Annie?”
'Wid that I slipped my arm round her waist, for, begad, I fancied she had surrindered at discretion, an' the honours av war were mine.
'“Fwhat nonsinse is this?” sez she, dhrawin' hersilf up on the tips av her dear little toes. “Wid the mother's milk not dhry on your impident mouth? Let go!” she sez.
'“Did ye not say just now that I was flesh an' blood?” sez I. “I have not changed since,” I sez; an' I kep' my arm where ut was.
'“Your arms to yoursilf!” sez she, an' her eyes sparkild.
'“Sure, 'tis only human nature,” sez I, an' I kep' my arm where ut was.
'“Nature or no nature,” sez she, “you take your arm away or I'll tell Bragin, an' he'll alter the nature av your head. Fwhat d'you take me for?” she sez.
'“A woman,” sez I; “the prettiest in barricks.”
'“A _wife_,” sez she; “the straightest in cantonmints!”
'Wid that I dropped my arm, fell back tu paces, an' saluted, for I saw that she mint fwhat she said.'
'Then you know something that some men would give a good deal to be certain of. How could you tell?' I demanded in the interests of Science.
'“Watch the hand,” said Mulvaney; “av she shuts her hand tight, thumb down over the knuckle, take up your hat an' go. You'll only make a fool av yoursilf av you shtay. But av the hand lies opin on the lap, or av you see her thryin' to shut ut, an' she can't,--go on! She's not past reasonin' wid.”
'Well, as I was sayin', I fell back, saluted, an' was goin' away.
'“Shtay wid me,” she sez. “Look! He's comin' again.”
'She pointed to the veranda, an' by the Hoight av Impart'nince, the Corp'ril man was comin' out av Bragin's quarters.
'“He's done that these five evenin's past,” sez Annie Bragin. “Oh, fwhat will I do!”
“He'll not do ut again,” sez I, for I was fightin' mad.
'Kape away from a man that has been a thrifle crossed in love till the fever's died down. He rages like a brute beast.
'I wint up to the man in the veranda, manin', as sure as I sit, to knock the life out av him. He slipped into the open. “Fwhat are you doin' philanderin' about here, ye scum av the gutter?” sez I polite, to give him his warnin', for I wanted him ready.
'He niver lifted his head, but sez, all mournful an' melancolius, as if he thought I wud be sorry for him: “I can't find her,” sez he.
'“My troth,” sez I, “you've lived too long--you an' your seekin's an' findin's in a dacint married woman's quarters! Hould up your head, ye frozen thief av Genesis,” sez I, “an' you'll find all you want an' more!”
'But he niver hild up, an' I let go from the shoulther to where the hair is short over the eyebrows.
'“That'll do your business,” sez I, but it nearly did mine instid. I put my bodyweight behind the blow, but I hit nothing at all, an' near put my shoulther out. The Corp'ril man was not there, an' Annie Bragin, who had been watchin' from the veranda, throws up her heels, an' carries on like a cock whin his neck's wrung by the dhrummer-bhoy. I wint back to her, for a livin' woman, an' a woman like Annie Bragin, is more than a p'rade-groun' full av ghosts. I'd niver seen a woman faint before, an' I stud like a shtuck calf, askin' her whether she was dead, an' prayin' her for the love av me, an' the love av her husband, an' the love av the Virgin, to opin her blessed eyes again, an' callin' mesilf all the names undher the canopy av Hivin for plaguin' her wid my miserable _a-moors_ whin I ought to ha' stud betune her an' this Corp'ril man that had lost the number av his mess.
'I misremimber fwhat nonsinse I said, but I was not so far gone that I cud not hear a fut on the dirt outside. 'Twas Bragin comin' in, an' by the same token Annie was comin' to. I jumped to the far end av the veranda an' looked as if butter wudn't melt in my mouth. But Mrs. Quinn, the Quarter-Master's wife that was, had tould Bragin about my hangin' round Annie.
'“I'm not pleased wid you, Mulvaney,” sez Bragin, unbucklin' his sword, for he had been on duty.
'“That's bad hearin',” I sez, an' I knew that the pickets were dhriven in. “What for, Sargint?” sez I.
'“Come outside,” sez he, “an' I'll show you why.”
'“I'm willin',” I sez; “but my stripes are none so ould that I can afford to loses him. Tell me now, _who_ do I go out wid?” sez I.
'He was a quick man an' a just, an' saw fwhat I wud be afther. “Wid Mrs. Bragin's husband,” sez he. He might ha' known by me askin' that favour that I had done him no wrong.
'We wint to the back av the arsenal an' I stripped to him, an' for ten minutes 'twas all I cud do to prevent him killin' himself against my fistes. He was mad as a dumb dog--just frothing wid rage; but he had no chanst wid me in reach, or learnin', or anything else.
'“Will ye hear reason?” sez I, whin his first wind was run out.
'“Not whoile I can see,” sez he. Wid that I gave him both, one after the other, smash through the low gyard that he'd been taught whin he was a boy, an' the eyebrow shut down on the cheek-bone like the wing av a sick crow.
'“Will ye hear reason now, ye brave man?” sez I.
'“Not whoile I can speak,” sez he, staggerin' up blind as a stump. I was loath to do ut, but I wint round an' swung into the jaw side-on an' shifted ut a half pace to the lef'.
'“Will ye hear reason now?” sez I; “I can't keep my timper much longer, an' 'tis like I will hurt you.”
'“Not whoile I can stand,” he mumbles out av one corner av his mouth. So I closed an' threw him--blind, dumb, an' sick, an' jammed the jaw straight.
'“You're an ould fool, _Mister_ Bragin,” sez I.
'“You're a young thief,” sez he, “an' you've bruk my heart, you an' Annie betune you!”
'Thin he began cryin' like a child as he lay. I was sorry as I had niver been before. 'Tis an awful thing to see a strong man cry.
'“I'll swear on the Cross!” sez I.
'“I care for none av your oaths,” sez he.
'“Come back to your quarters,” sez I, “an' if you don't believe the livin', begad, you shall listen to the dead,” I sez.
'I hoisted him an' tuk him back to his quarters. “Mrs. Bragin,” sez I, “here's a man that you can cure quicker than me.”
'“You've shamed me before my wife,” he whimpers.
'“Have I so?” sez I. “By the look on Mrs. Bragin's face I think I'm for a dhressin'-down worse than I gave you.”
'An' I was! Annie Bragin was woild wid indignation. There was not a name that a dacint woman cud use that was not given my way. I've had my Colonel walk roun' me like a cooper roun' a cask for fifteen minutes in Ord'ly Room, bekaze I wint into the Corner Shop an' unstrapped lewnatic; but all I iver tuk from his rasp av a tongue was ginger-pop to fwhat Annie tould me. An' that, mark you, is the way av a woman.
'Whin ut was done for want av breath, an' Annie was bendin' over her husband, I sez: “'Tis all thrue, an' I'm a blayguard an' you're an honest woman; but will you tell him of wan service that I did you?”
'As I finished speakin' the Corp'ril man came up to the veranda, an' Annie Bragin shquealed. The moon was up, an' we cud see his face.
'“I can't find her,” sez the Corp'ril man, an' wint out like the puff av a candle.
'“Saints stand betune us an' evil!” sez Bragin, crossin' himself; “that's Flahy av the Tyrone.”
'“Who was he?” I sez, “for he has given me a dale av fightin' this day.”
'Bragin tould us that Flahy was a Corp'ril who lost his wife av cholera in those quarters three years gone, an' wint mad, an' _walked_ afther they buried him, huntin' for her.
'“Well,” sez I to Bragin, “he's been hookin' out av Purgathory to kape company wid Mrs. Bragin ivry evenin' for the last fortnight. You may tell Mrs. Quinn, wid my love, for I know that she's been talkin' to you, an' you've been listenin', that she ought to ondherstand the differ 'twixt a man an' a ghost. She's had three husbands,” sez I, “an' _you_'ve got a wife too good for you. Instid av which you lave her to be boddered by ghosts an'--an' all manner av evil spirruts. I'll niver go talkin' in the way av politeness to a man's wife again. Good-night to you both,” sez I; an' wid that I wint away, havin' fought wid woman, man and Divil all in the heart av an hour. By the same token I gave Father Victor wan rupee to say a mass for Flahy's soul, me havin' discommoded him by shticking my fist into his systim.'
'Your ideas of politeness seem rather large, Mulvaney,' I said.
'That's as you look at ut,' said Mulvaney calmly; 'Annie Bragin niver cared for me. For all that, I did not want to leave anything behin' me that Bragin could take hould av to be angry wid her about--whin an honust wurrd cud ha' cleared all up. There's nothing like opin-speakin'. Orth'ris, ye scutt, let me put me oi to that bottle, for my throat's as dhry as whin I thought I wud get a kiss from Annie Bragin. An' that's fourteen years gone! Eyah! Cork's own city an' the blue sky above ut--an' the times that was--the times that was!'
WITH THE MAIN GUARD
Der jungere Uhlanen Sit round mit open mouth While Breitmann tell dem stdories Of fightin' in the South; Und gif dem moral lessons, How before der battle pops, Take a little prayer to Himmel Und a goot long drink of Schnapps. _Hans Breitmann's Ballads._
'Mary, Mother av Mercy, fwhat the divil possist us to take an' kape this melancolious counthry? Answer me that, Sorr.'
It was Mulvaney who was speaking. The time was one o'clock of a stifling June night, and the place was the main gate of Fort Amara, most desolate and least desirable of all fortresses in India. What I was doing there at that hour is a question which only concerns M'Grath, the Sergeant of the Guard, and the men on the gate.
'Slape,' said Mulvaney, 'is a shuparfluous necessity. This gyard'll shtay lively till relieved.' He himself was stripped to the waist; Learoyd on the next bedstead was dripping from the skinful of water which Ortheris, clad only in white trousers, had just sluiced over his shoulders; and a fourth private was muttering uneasily as he dozed open-mouthed in the glare of the great guard-lantern. The heat under the bricked archway was terrifying.
'The worrst night that iver I remimber. Eyah! Is all Hell loose this tide?' said Mulvaney. A puff of burning wind lashed through the wicket-gate like a wave of the sea, and Ortheris swore.
'Are ye more heasy, Jock?' he said to Learoyd. 'Put yer 'ead between your legs. It'll go orf in a minute.'
'Ah don't care. Ah would not care, but ma heart is plaayin' tivvy-tivvy on ma ribs. Let me die! Oh, leave me die!' groaned the huge Yorkshireman, who was feeling the heat acutely, being of fleshly build.
The sleeper under the lantern roused for a moment and raised himself on his elbow.--'Die and be damned then!' he said. '_I_'m damned and I can't die!'
'Who's that?' I whispered, for the voice was new to me.
'Gentleman born,' said Mulvaney; 'Corp'ril wan year, Sargint nex'. Red-hot on his C'mission, but dhrinks like a fish. He'll be gone before the cowld weather's here. So!'
He slipped his boot, and with the naked toe just touched the trigger of his Martini. Ortheris misunderstood the movement, and the next instant the Irishman's rifle was dashed aside, while Ortheris stood before him, his eyes blazing with reproof.
'You!' said Ortheris. 'My Gawd, _you!_ If it was you wot would _we_ do?'
'Kape quiet, little man,' said Mulvaney, putting him aside, but very gently; 'tis not me, nor will ut be me whoile Dinah Shadd's here. I was but showin' something.'
Learoyd, bowed on his bedstead, groaned, and the gentleman-ranker sighed in his sleep. Ortheris took Mulvaney's tendered pouch and we three smoked gravely for a space while the dust-devils danced on the glacis and scoured the red-hot plain.
'Pop?' said Ortheris, wiping his forehead.
'Don't tantalise wid talkin' av dhrink, or I'll shtuff you into your own breech-block an'--fire you off!' grunted Mulvaney.
Ortheris chuckled, and from a niche in the veranda produced six bottles of gingerade.
'Where did ye get ut, ye Machiavel?' said Mulvaney. ''Tis no bazar pop.'
''Ow do _Hi_ know wot the Orf'cers drink?' answered Ortheris. 'Arst the mess-man.'
'Ye'll have a Disthrict Coort-martial settin' on ye yet, me son,' said Mulvaney, 'but'--he opened a bottle--'I will not report ye this time. Fwhat's in the mess-kid is mint for the belly, as they say, 'specially whin that mate is dhrink. Here's luck! A bloody war or a--no, we've got the sickly season. War, thin!'--he waved the innocent 'pop' to the four quarters of Heaven. 'Bloody war! North, East, South, an' West! Jock, ye quakin' hayrick, come an' dhrink.'
But Learoyd, half mad with the fear of death presaged in the swelling veins in his neck, was begging his Maker to strike him dead, and fighting for more air between his prayers. A second time Ortheris drenched the quivering body with water, and the giant revived.
'An' Ah divn't see thot a mon is i' fettle for gooin' on to live; an' Ah divn't see thot there is owt for t' livin' for. Hear now, lads! Ah'm tired--tired. There's nobbut watter i' ma bones. Let me die!'
The hollow of the arch gave back Learoyd's broken whisper in a bass boom. Mulvaney looked at me hopelessly, but I remembered how the madness of despair had once fallen upon Ortheris, that weary, weary afternoon on the banks of the Khemi River, and how it had been exorcised by the skilful magician Mulvaney.
'Talk, Terence!' I said, 'or we shall have Learoyd slinging loose, and he'll be worse than Ortheris was. Talk! He'll answer to your voice.'
Almost before Ortheris had deftly thrown all the rifles of the Guard on Mulvaney's bedstead, the Irishman's voice was uplifted as that of one in the middle of a story, and, turning to me, he said--
'In barricks or out of it, as _you_ say, Sorr, an Oirish rig'mint is the divil an' more. 'Tis only fit for a young man wid eddicated fisteses. Oh the crame av disruption is an Oirish rig'mint, an' rippin', tearin', ragin' scattherers in the field av war! My first rig'mint was Oirish--Faynians an' rebils to the heart av their marrow was they, an' _so_ they fought for the Widdy betther than most, bein' contrairy--Oirish. They was the Black Tyrone. You've heard av thim, Sorr?'
Heard of them! I knew the Black Tyrone for the choicest collection of unmitigated blackguards, dog-stealers, robbers of hen-roosts, assaulters of innocent citizens, and recklessly daring heroes in the Army List. Half Europe and half Asia has had cause to know the Black Tyrone--good luck be with their tattered Colours as Glory has ever been!
'They _was_ hot pickils an' ginger! I cut a man's head tu deep wid my belt in the days av my youth, an', afther some circumstances which I will oblitherate, I came to the Ould Rig'mint, bearin' the character av a man wid hands an' feet. But, as I was goin' to tell you, I fell acrost the Black Tyrone agin wan day whin we wanted thim powerful bad. Orth'ris, me son, fwhat was the name av that place where they sint wan comp'ny av us an' wan av the Tyrone roun' a hill an' down again, all for to tache the Paythans something they'd niver learned before? Afther Ghunzi 'twas.'
'Don't know what the bloomin' Paythans called it. We called it Silver's Theayter. You know that, sure!'
'Silver's Theatre--so 'twas. A gut betune two hills, as black as a bucket, an' as thin as a girl's waist. There was over-many Paythans for our convaynience in the gut, an' begad they called thimselves a Reserve--bein' impident by nature! Our Scotchies an' lashins av Gurkeys was poundin' into some Paythan rig'mints, I think 'twas. Scotchies an' Gurkeys are twins bekaze they're so onlike an' they get dhrunk together whin God plazes. As I was sayin', they sint wan comp'ny av the Ould an' wan of the Tyrone to double up the hill an' clane out the Paythan Reserve. Orf'cers was scarce in thim days, fwhat with dysintry an' not takin' care av thimselves, an' we was sint out wid only wan orf'cer for the comp'ny; but he was a Man that had his feet beneath him, an' all his teeth in their sockuts.'
'Who was he?' I asked.
'Captain O'Neil--Old Crook--Cruikna-bulleen--him that I tould ye that tale av whin he was in Burma.
[Footnote: Now first of the foemen of Boh Da Thone Was Captain O'Neil of the Black Tyrone. _The Ballad of Boh Da Thone._] Hah!
He was a Man! The Tyrone tuk a little orf'cer bhoy, but divil a bit was he in command, as I'll dimonstrate presintly. We an' they came over the brow av the hill, wan on each side av the gut, an' there was that ondacint Reserve waitin' down below like rats in a pit.
'“Howld on, men,” sez Crook, who tuk a mother's care av us always. “Rowl some rocks on thim by way av visitin' kyards.” We hadn't rowled more than twinty bowlders, an' the Paythans was beginnin' to swear tremenjus, whin the little orf'cer bhoy av the Tyrone shqueaks out acrost the valley:--“Fwhat the devil an' all are you doin', shpoilin' the fun for my men? Do ye not see they'll stand?”
'“Faith, that's a rare pluckt wan!” sez Crook. “Niver mind the rocks, men. Come along down an' take tay wid thim!”
'“There's damned little sugar in ut!” sez my rear-rank man; but Crook heard.
'“Have ye not all got spoons?” he sez, laughin', an' down we wint as fast as we cud. Learoyd bein' sick at the Base, he, av coorse, was not there.
'Thot's a lie!' said Learoyd, dragging his bedstead nearer. 'Ah gotten _thot_ theer, an' you knaw it, Mulvaney.' He threw up his arms, and from the right armpit ran, diagonally through the fell of his chest, a thin white line terminating near the fourth left rib.
'My mind's goin',' said Mulvaney, the unabashed. 'Ye were there. Fwhat I was thinkin' of! 'Twas another man, av coorse. Will, you'll remember thin, Jack, how we an' the Tyrone met wid a bang at the bottom an' got jammed past all movin' among the Paythans.'
'Ow! It _was_ a tight 'ole. I was squeezed till I thought I'd bloomin' well bust,' said Ortheris, rubbing his stomach meditatively.