Chapter 50

Pet. They shall goe forward Kate at thy command, Obey the Bride you that attend on her. Goe to the feast, reuell and domineere, Carowse full measure to her maiden-head, Be madde and merry, or goe hang your selues: But for my bonny Kate, she must with me: Nay, looke not big, nor stampe, not stare, nor fret, I will be master of what is mine owne, Shee is my goods, my chattels, she is my house, My houshold-stuffe, my field, my barne, My horse, my oxe, my asse, my any thing, And heere she stands, touch her who euer dare, Ile bring mine action on the proudest he That stops my way in Padua: Grumio Draw forth thy weapon, we are beset with theeues, Rescue thy Mistresse if thou be a man: Feare not sweet wench, they shall not touch thee Kate, Ile buckler thee against a Million.

Exeunt. P. Ka.

Bap. Nay, let them goe, a couple of quiet ones

Gre. Went they not quickly, I should die with laughing

Tra. Of all mad matches neuer was the like

Luc. Mistresse, what's your opinion of your sister? Bian. That being mad her selfe, she's madly mated

Gre. I warrant him Petruchio is Kated

Bap. Neighbours and friends, though Bride & Bridegroom wants For to supply the places at the table, You know there wants no iunkets at the feast: Lucentio, you shall supply the Bridegroomes place, And let Bianca take her sisters roome

Tra. Shall sweet Bianca practise how to bride it? Bap. She shall Lucentio: come gentlemen lets goe. Enter Grumio.

Exeunt.

Gru. Fie, fie on all tired Iades, on all mad Masters, & all foule waies: was euer man so beaten? was euer man so raide? was euer man so weary? I am sent before to make a fire, and they are comming after to warme them: now were not I a little pot, & soone hot; my very lippes might freeze to my teeth, my tongue to the roofe of my mouth, my heart in my belly, ere I should come by a fire to thaw me, but I with blowing the fire shall warme my selfe: for considering the weather, a taller man then I will take cold: Holla, hoa Curtis. Enter Curtis.

Curt. Who is that calls so coldly? Gru. A piece of Ice: if thou doubt it, thou maist slide from my shoulder to my heele, with no greater a run but my head and my necke. A fire good Curtis

Cur. Is my master and his wife comming Grumio? Gru. Oh I Curtis I, and therefore fire, fire, cast on no water

Cur. Is she so hot a shrew as she's reported

Gru. She was good Curtis before this frost: but thou know'st winter tames man, woman, and beast: for it hath tam'd my old master, and my new mistris, and my selfe fellow Curtis

Gru. Away you three inch foole, I am no beast

Gru. Am I but three inches? Why thy horne is a foot and so long am I at the least. But wilt thou make a fire, or shall I complaine on thee to our mistris, whose hand (she being now at hand) thou shalt soone feele, to thy cold comfort, for being slow in thy hot office

Cur. I prethee good Grumio, tell me, how goes the world? Gru. A cold world Curtis in euery office but thine, & therefore fire: do thy duty, and haue thy dutie, for my Master and mistris are almost frozen to death

Cur. There's fire readie, and therefore good Grumio the newes

Gru. Why Iacke boy, ho boy, and as much newes as wilt thou

Cur. Come, you are so full of conicatching

Gru. Why therefore fire, for I haue caught extreme cold. Where's the Cooke, is supper ready, the house trim'd, rushes strew'd, cobwebs swept, the seruingmen in their new fustian, the white stockings, and euery officer his wedding garment on? Be the Iackes faire within, the Gils faire without, the Carpets laide, and euerie thing in order? Cur. All readie: and therefore I pray thee newes

Gru. First know my horse is tired, my master & mistris falne out

Cur. How? Gru. Out of their saddles into the durt, and thereby hangs a tale

Cur. Let's ha't good Grumio

Gru. Lend thine eare

Cur. Heere

Gru. There

Cur. This 'tis to feele a tale, not to heare a tale

Gru. And therefore 'tis cal'd a sensible tale: and this Cuffe was but to knocke at your eare, and beseech listning: now I begin, Inprimis wee came downe a fowle hill, my Master riding behinde my Mistris

Cur. Both of one horse? Gru. What's that to thee? Cur. Why a horse

Gru. Tell thou the tale: but hadst thou not crost me, thou shouldst haue heard how her horse fel, and she vnder her horse: thou shouldst haue heard in how miery a place, how she was bemoil'd, how hee left her with the horse vpon her, how he beat me because her horse stumbled, how she waded through the durt to plucke him off me: how he swore, how she prai'd, that neuer prai'd before: how I cried, how the horses ranne away, how her bridle was burst: how I lost my crupper, with manie things of worthy memorie, which now shall die in obliuion, and thou returne vnexperienc'd to thy graue

Cur. By this reckning he is more shrew than she

Gru. I, and that thou and the proudest of you all shall finde when he comes home. But what talke I of this? Call forth Nathaniel, Ioseph, Nicholas, Phillip, Walter, Sugersop and the rest: let their heads bee slickely comb'd, their blew coats brush'd, and their garters of an indifferent knit, let them curtsie with their left legges, and not presume to touch a haire of my Masters horse-taile, till they kisse their hands. Are they all readie? Cur. They are

Gru. Call them forth

Cur. Do you heare ho? you must meete my maister to countenance my mistris

Gru. Why she hath a face of her owne

Cur. Who knowes not that? Gru. Thou it seemes, that cals for company to countenance her

Cur. I call them forth to credit her. Enter foure or fiue seruingmen.

Gru. Why she comes to borrow nothing of them

Nat. Welcome home Grumio

Phil. How now Grumio

Ios. What Grumio

Nick. Fellow Grumio

Nat. How now old lad

Gru. Welcome you: how now you: what you: fellow you: and thus much for greeting. Now my spruce companions, is all readie, and all things neate? Nat. All things is readie, how neere is our master? Gre. E'ne at hand, alighted by this: and therefore be not- Cockes passion, silence, I heare my master. Enter Petruchio and Kate.

Pet. Where be these knaues? What no man at doore To hold my stirrop, nor to take my horse? Where is Nathaniel, Gregory, Phillip

All ser. Heere, heere sir, heere sir

Pet. Heere sir, heere sir, heere sir, heere sir. You logger-headed and vnpollisht groomes: What? no attendance? no regard? no dutie? Where is the foolish knaue I sent before? Gru. Heere sir, as foolish as I was before

Pet. You pezant, swain, you horson malt-horse drudg Did I not bid thee meete me in the Parke, And bring along these rascal knaues with thee? Grumio. Nathaniels coate sir was not fully made, And Gabrels pumpes were all vnpinkt i'th heele: There was no Linke to colour Peters hat, And Walters dagger was not come from sheathing: There were none fine, but Adam, Rafe, and Gregory, The rest were ragged, old, and beggerly, Yet as they are, heere are they come to meete you

Pet. Go rascals, go, and fetch my supper in.

Ex. Ser.

Where is the life that late I led? Where are those? Sit downe Kate, And welcome. Soud, soud, soud, soud. Enter seruants with supper.

Why when I say? Nay good sweete Kate be merrie. Off with my boots, you rogues: you villaines, when? It was the Friar of Orders gray, As he forth walked on his way. Out you rogue, you plucke my foote awrie, Take that, and mend the plucking of the other. Be merrie Kate: Some water heere: what hoa. Enter one with water.

Where's my Spaniel Troilus? Sirra, get you hence, And bid my cozen Ferdinand come hither: One Kate that you must kisse, and be acquainted with. Where are my Slippers? Shall I haue some water? Come Kate and wash, & welcome heartily: You horson villaine, will you let it fall? Kate. Patience I pray you, 'twas a fault vnwilling

Pet. A horson beetle-headed flap-ear'd knaue: Come Kate sit downe, I know you haue a stomacke, Will you giue thankes, sweete Kate, or else shall I? What's this, Mutton? 1.Ser. I

Pet. Who brought it? Peter. I

Pet. 'Tis burnt, and so is all the meate: What dogges are these? Where is the rascall Cooke? How durst you villaines bring it from the dresser And serue it thus to me that loue it not? There, take it to you, trenchers, cups, and all: You heedlesse iolt-heads, and vnmanner'd slaues. What, do you grumble? Ile be with you straight

Kate. I pray you husband be not so disquiet, The meate was well, if you were so contented

Pet. I tell thee Kate, 'twas burnt and dried away, And I expressely am forbid to touch it: For it engenders choller, planteth anger, And better 'twere that both of vs did fast, Since of our selues, our selues are chollericke, Then feede it with such ouer-rosted flesh: Be patient, to morrow't shalbe mended, And for this night we'l fast for companie. Come I wil bring thee to thy Bridall chamber.

Exeunt.

Enter Seruants seuerally.

Nath. Peter didst euer see the like

Peter. He kils her in her owne humor

Grumio. Where is he? Enter Curtis a Seruant.

Cur. In her chamber, making a sermon of continencie to her, and railes, and sweares, and rates, that shee (poore soule) knowes not which way to stand, to looke, to speake, and sits as one new risen from a dreame. Away, away, for he is comming hither. Enter Petruchio.

Pet. Thus haue I politickely begun my reigne, And 'tis my hope to end successefully: My Faulcon now is sharpe, and passing emptie, And til she stoope, she must not be full gorg'd, For then she neuer lookes vpon her lure. Another way I haue to man my Haggard, To make her come, and know her Keepers call: That is, to watch her, as we watch these Kites, That baite, and beate, and will not be obedient: She eate no meate to day, nor none shall eate. Last night she slept not, nor to night she shall not: As with the meate, some vndeserued fault Ile finde about the making of the bed, And heere Ile fling the pillow, there the boulster, This way the Couerlet, another way the sheets: I, and amid this hurlie I intend, That all is done in reuerend care of her, And in conclusion, she shal watch all night, And if she chance to nod, Ile raile and brawle, And with the clamor keepe her stil awake: This is a way to kil a Wife with kindnesse, And thus Ile curbe her mad and headstrong humor: He that knowes better how to tame a shrew, Now let him speake, 'tis charity to shew.

Exit

Enter Tranio and Hortensio.

Tra. Is't possible friend Lisio, that mistris Bianca Doth fancie any other but Lucentio, I tel you sir, she beares me faire in hand

Luc. Sir, to satisfie you in what I haue said, Stand by, and marke the manner of his teaching. Enter Bianca.

Hor. Now Mistris, profit you in what you reade? Bian. What Master reade you first, resolue me that? Hor. I reade, that I professe the Art to loue

Bian. And may you proue sir Master of your Art

Luc. While you sweet deere proue Mistresse of my heart

Hor. Quicke proceeders marry, now tel me I pray, you that durst sweare that your Mistris Bianca Lou'd me in the World so wel as Lucentio

Tra. Oh despightful Loue, vnconstant womankind, I tel thee Lisio this is wonderfull

Hor. Mistake no more, I am not Lisio, Nor a Musitian as I seeme to bee, But one that scorne to liue in this disguise, For such a one as leaues a Gentleman, And makes a God of such a Cullion; Know sir, that I am cal'd Hortensio

Tra. Signior Hortensio, I haue often heard Of your entire affection to Bianca, And since mine eyes are witnesse of her lightnesse, I wil with you, if you be so contented, Forsweare Bianca, and her loue for euer

Hor. See how they kisse and court: Signior Lucentio, Heere is my hand, and heere I firmly vow Neuer to woo her more, but do forsweare her As one vnworthie all the former fauours That I haue fondly flatter'd them withall

Tra. And heere I take the like vnfained oath, Neuer to marrie with her, though she would intreate, Fie on her, see how beastly she doth court him

Hor. Would all the world but he had quite forsworn For me, that I may surely keepe mine oath. I wil be married to a wealthy Widdow, Ere three dayes passe, which hath as long lou'd me, As I haue lou'd this proud disdainful Haggard, And so farewel signior Lucentio, Kindnesse in women, not their beauteous lookes Shal win my loue, and so I take my leaue, In resolution, as I swore before

Tra. Mistris Bianca, blesse you with such grace, As longeth to a Louers blessed case: Nay, I haue tane you napping gentle Loue, And haue forsworne you with Hortensio

Bian. Tranio you iest, but haue you both forsworne mee? Tra. Mistris we haue

Luc. Then we are rid of Lisio

Tra. I'faith hee'l haue a lustie Widdow now, That shalbe woo'd, and wedded in a day

Bian. God giue him ioy

Tra. I, and hee'l tame her

Bianca. He sayes so Tranio

Tra. Faith he is gone vnto the taming schoole

Bian. The taming schoole: what is there such a place? Tra. I mistris, and Petruchio is the master, That teacheth trickes eleuen and twentie long, To tame a shrew, and charme her chattering tongue. Enter Biondello.

Bion. Oh Master, master I haue watcht so long, That I am dogge-wearie, but at last I spied An ancient Angel comming downe the hill, Wil serue the turne

Tra. What is he Biondello? Bio. Master, a Marcantant, or a pedant, I know not what, but formall in apparrell, In gate and countenance surely like a Father

Luc. And what of him Tranio? Tra. If he be credulous, and trust my tale, Ile make him glad to seeme Vincentio, And giue assurance to Baptista Minola. As if he were the right Vincentio

Par. Take me your loue, and then let me alone. Enter a Pedant.

Ped. God saue you sir

Tra. And you sir, you are welcome, Trauaile you farre on, or are you at the farthest? Ped. Sir at the farthest for a weeke or two, But then vp farther, and as farre as Rome, And so to Tripolie, if God lend me life

Tra. What Countreyman I pray? Ped. Of Mantua

Tra. Of Mantua Sir, marrie God forbid, And come to Padua carelesse of your life

Ped. My life sir? how I pray? for that goes hard

Tra. 'Tis death for any one in Mantua To come to Padua, know you not the cause? Your ships are staid at Venice, and the Duke For priuate quarrel 'twixt your Duke and him, Hath publish'd and proclaim'd it openly: 'Tis meruaile, but that you are but newly come, You might haue heard it else proclaim'd about

Ped. Alas sir, it is worse for me then so, For I haue bils for monie by exchange From Florence, and must heere deliuer them

Tra. Wel sir, to do you courtesie, This wil I do, and this I wil aduise you. First tell me, haue you euer beene at Pisa? Ped. I sir, in Pisa haue I often bin, Pisa renowned for graue Citizens

Tra. Among them know you one Vincentio? Ped. I know him not, but I haue heard of him: A Merchant of incomparable wealth

Tra. He is my father sir, and sooth to say, In count'nance somewhat doth resemble you

Bion. As much as an apple doth an oyster, & all one

Tra. To saue your life in this extremitie, This fauor wil I do you for his sake, And thinke it not the worst of all your fortunes, That you are like to Sir Vincentio. His name and credite shal you vndertake, And in my house you shal be friendly lodg'd, Looke that you take vpon you as you should, You vnderstand me sir: so shal you stay Til you haue done your businesse in the Citie: If this be court'sie sir, accept of it

Ped. Oh sir I do, and wil repute you euer The patron of my life and libertie

Tra. Then go with me, to make the matter good, This by the way I let you vnderstand, My father is heere look'd for euerie day, To passe assurance of a dowre in marriage 'Twixt me, and one Baptistas daughter heere: In all these circumstances Ile instruct you, Go with me to cloath you as becomes you.

Exeunt.

Actus Quartus. Scena Prima.

Enter Katherina and Grumio.

Gru. No, no forsooth I dare not for my life

Ka. The more my wrong, the more his spite appears. What, did he marrie me to famish me? Beggers that come vnto my fathers doore, Vpon intreatie haue a present almes, If not, elsewhere they meete with charitie: But I, who neuer knew how to intreat, Nor neuer needed that I should intreate, Am staru'd for meate, giddie for lacke of sleepe: With oathes kept waking, and with brawling fed, And that which spights me more then all these wants, He does it vnder name of perfect loue: As who should say, if I should sleepe or eate 'Twere deadly sicknesse, or else present death. I prethee go, and get me some repast, I care not what, so it be holsome foode

Gru. What say you to a Neats foote? Kate. 'Tis passing good, I prethee let me haue it

Gru. I feare it is too chollericke a meate. How say you to a fat Tripe finely broyl'd? Kate. I like it well, good Grumio fetch it me

Gru. I cannot tell, I feare 'tis chollericke. What say you to a peece of Beefe and Mustard? Kate. A dish that I do loue to feede vpon

Gru. I, but the Mustard is too hot a little

Kate. Why then the Beefe, and let the Mustard rest

Gru. Nay then I wil not, you shal haue the Mustard Or else you get no beefe of Grumio

Kate. Then both or one, or any thing thou wilt

Gru. Why then the Mustard without the beefe

Kate. Go get thee gone, thou false deluding slaue,

Beats him.

That feed'st me with the verie name of meate. Sorrow on thee, and all the packe of you That triumph thus vpon my misery: Go get thee gone, I say. Enter Petruchio, and Hortensio with meate

Petr. How fares my Kate, what sweeting all amort? Hor. Mistris, what cheere? Kate. Faith as cold as can be

Pet. Plucke vp thy spirits, looke cheerfully vpon me. Heere Loue, thou seest how diligent I am, To dresse thy meate my selfe, and bring it thee. I am sure sweet Kate, this kindnesse merites thankes. What, not a word? Nay then, thou lou'st it not: And all my paines is sorted to no proofe. Heere take away this dish

Kate. I pray you let it stand

Pet. The poorest seruice is repaide with thankes, And so shall mine before you touch the meate

Kate. I thanke you sir

Hor. Signior Petruchio, fie you are too blame: Come Mistris Kate, Ile beare you companie

Petr. Eate it vp all Hortensio, if thou louest mee: Much good do it vnto thy gentle heart: Kate eate apace; and now my honie Loue, Will we returne vnto thy Fathers house, And reuell it as brauely as the best, With silken coats and caps, and golden Rings, With Ruffes and Cuffes, and Fardingales, and things: With Scarfes, and Fannes, & double change of brau'ry, With Amber Bracelets, Beades, and all this knau'ry. What hast thou din'd? The Tailor staies thy leasure, To decke thy bodie with his ruffling treasure. Enter Tailor.

Come Tailor, let vs see these ornaments. Enter Haberdasher.

Lay forth the gowne. What newes with you sir? Fel. Heere is the cap your Worship did bespeake

Pet. Why this was moulded on a porrenger, A Veluet dish: Fie, fie, 'tis lewd and filthy, Why 'tis a cockle or a walnut-shell, A knacke, a toy, a tricke, a babies cap: Away with it, come let me haue a bigger

Kate. Ile haue no bigger, this doth fit the time, And Gentlewomen weare such caps as these

Pet. When you are gentle, you shall haue one too, And not till then

Hor. That will not be in hast

Kate. Why sir I trust I may haue leaue to speake, And speake I will. I am no childe, no babe, Your betters haue indur'd me say my minde, And if you cannot, best you stop your eares. My tongue will tell the anger of my heart, Or els my heart concealing it wil breake, And rather then it shall, I will be free, Euen to the vttermost as I please in words

Pet. Why thou saist true, it is paltrie cap, A custard coffen, a bauble, a silken pie, I loue thee well in that thou lik'st it not

Kate. Loue me, or loue me not, I like the cap, And it I will haue, or I will haue none

Pet. Thy gowne, why I: come Tailor let vs see't. Oh mercie God, what masking stuffe is heere? Whats this? a sleeue? 'tis like demi cannon, What, vp and downe caru'd like an apple Tart? Heers snip, and nip, and cut, and slish and slash, Like to a Censor in a barbers shoppe: Why what a deuils name Tailor cal'st thou this? Hor. I see shees like to haue neither cap nor gowne

Tai. You bid me make it orderlie and well, According to the fashion, and the time

Pet. Marrie and did: but if you be remembred, I did not bid you marre it to the time. Go hop me ouer euery kennell home, For you shall hop without my custome sir: Ile none of it; hence, make your best of it

Kate. I neuer saw a better fashion'd gowne, More queint, more pleasing, nor more commendable: Belike you meane to make a puppet of me

Pet. Why true, he meanes to make a puppet of thee

Tail. She saies your Worship meanes to make a puppet of her

Pet. Oh monstrous arrogance: Thou lyest, thou thred, thou thimble, Thou yard three quarters, halfe yard, quarter, naile, Thou Flea, thou Nit, thou winter cricket thou: Brau'd in mine owne house with a skeine of thred: Away thou Ragge, thou quantitie, thou remnant, Or I shall so be-mete thee with thy yard, As thou shalt thinke on prating whil'st thou liu'st: I tell thee I, that thou hast marr'd her gowne

Tail. Your worship is deceiu'd, the gowne is made Iust as my master had direction: Grumio gaue order how it should be done

Gru. I gaue him no order, I gaue him the stuffe

Tail. But how did you desire it should be made? Gru. Marrie sir with needle and thred

Tail. But did you not request to haue it cut? Gru. Thou hast fac'd many things

Tail. I haue

Gru. Face not mee: thou hast brau'd manie men, braue not me; I will neither bee fac'd nor brau'd. I say vnto thee, I bid thy Master cut out the gowne, but I did not bid him cut it to peeces. Ergo thou liest

Tail. Why heere is the note of the fashion to testify

Pet. Reade it

Gru. The note lies in's throate if he say I said so

Tail. Inprimis, a loose bodied gowne

Gru. Master, if euer I said loose-bodied gowne, sow me in the skirts of it, and beate me to death with a bottome of browne thred: I said a gowne

Pet. Proceede

Tai. With a small compast cape

Gru. I confesse the cape

Tai. With a trunke sleeue

Gru. I confesse two sleeues

Tai. The sleeues curiously cut

Pet. I there's the villanie

Gru. Error i'th bill sir, error i'th bill? I commanded the sleeues should be cut out, and sow'd vp againe, and that Ile proue vpon thee, though thy little finger be armed in a thimble

Tail. This is true that I say, and I had thee in place where thou shouldst know it

Gru. I am for thee straight: take thou the bill, giue me thy meat-yard, and spare not me

Hor. God-a-mercie Grumio, then hee shall haue no oddes

Pet. Well sir in breefe the gowne is not for me

Gru. You are i'th right sir, 'tis for my mistris

Pet. Go take it vp vnto thy masters vse

Gru. Villaine, not for thy life: Take vp my Mistresse gowne for thy masters vse

Pet. Why sir, what's your conceit in that? Gru. Oh sir, the conceit is deeper then you think for: Take vp my Mistris gowne to his masters vse. Oh fie, fie, fie

Pet. Hortensio, say thou wilt see the Tailor paide: Go take it hence, be gone, and say no more

Hor. Tailor, Ile pay thee for thy gowne to morrow, Take no vnkindnesse of his hastie words: Away I say, commend me to thy master.

Exit Tail.

Pet. Well, come my Kate, we will vnto your fathers, Euen in these honest meane habiliments: Our purses shall be proud, our garments poore: For 'tis the minde that makes the bodie rich. And as the Sunne breakes through the darkest clouds, So honor peereth in the meanest habit. What is the Iay more precious then the Larke? Because his feathers are more beautifull. Or is the Adder better then the Eele, Because his painted skin contents the eye. Oh no good Kate: neither art thou the worse For this poore furniture, and meane array. If thou accountedst it shame, lay it on me, And therefore frolicke, we will hence forthwith, To feast and sport vs at thy fathers house, Go call my men, and let vs straight to him, And bring our horses vnto Long-lane end, There wil we mount, and thither walke on foote, Let's see, I thinke 'tis now some seuen a clocke, And well we may come there by dinner time