CHAPTER LIII

VITAL FACTS CONCERNING THE “CHANGE OF LIFE” IN MAN, AND THE YEARS TO FOLLOW

Strange as it may seem, middle-aged and old men are quite as ignorant of their sexual natures and the changes incident to their age, as is the average youth. Very few men know that at the age of forty-five to fifty-five a gradual but distinct and vital change will occur in their lives.

=Important periods of life.=--A boy of seven has a very distinct and intense interest in the origin of animals and man. When he is fourteen puberty dawns and he enters the “stormy period of adolescence.” When twenty-two to twenty-four his sexual powers are matured and he enters a period of some twenty-five years during which his procreative powers are at their best. It is in this period of life that nature indicates he should become the father of children. In this period his physical strength is greatest and his mental and moral development are most active. He is now capable of transmitting the largest endowments to his children. It is natural that at the close of this period, of largest reproductive possibilities, sexual

desire should begin to subside. This is what occurs at this period in a man’s life.

=“Change of life” in man and woman.=--This occurs some six to ten years later in the male than in the female. The change is more gradual and less marked in the man than in the woman. After the “change of life” in woman, she becomes entirely sterile. If man is well-preserved, sterility in him does not take place with this change and may not until years later. In the female, the “change of life” may embrace a period of one to three or four years, and longer in some cases. In the male, the period is usually longer. In both, it is a crisis. Good or bad health, happiness or misery, a long or short life, success or failure, may be the issues of this crucial period of life. The next ten, twenty or more years of life will be largely determined by the previous life, the care taken at this time and the sexual control in the future. Woman becomes sterile at the close of this period, man does not. Most men have known of one or more old worn-out libertines who make their regular visits to houses of shame. They suppose these men to be as virile as in their youth. Men do not generally understand that these old men, who have lead a dissolute and vicious life, are often mental sex perverts even years after they are sterile and, have become impotent through loss of erectile power.

=A degrading form of ignorance.=--I have had scores of old men from forty-five to seventy-five, to seek personal interviews with me, whose real motives were to ascertain some way of rejuvenating their flagging sexual powers. I recall one man, a nervous wreck, over sixty, who confessed to me that each night he retired with a pad of ice about his loins for the purpose of restoring partial potency once a week. Another old man who had passed his three-quarter of a century milestone complained of his wife’s indifference and refusals, she being nearly as old as himself. Such ignorance is far less excusable and far more degrading than that of being unable to read, write or spell.

=Sexual desire begins to wane.=--During the menses and the nine months of gestation, the wife has little or no sexual desire. In fact her inclination is to repel every approach of the husband. During that period, known as the “change of life,” the wife has no sexual desire and naturally tries to ward off every approach of her mate. During this period the menstrual flow is sometimes frequent, almost constant. She is passing through an experience of nervous stress and mental trial. The husband should refrain from all sexual demands during this change. If they are well mated as to age, he is four, six or ten years his wife’s senior. At this age his sexual desires should be weakening. A man of this age, if normal, should experience no difficulty in living a continent life.

=Not an unfortunate period.=--These should not be considered unfortunate periods in life. Proper restraint at this time will bring compensations to those who understand and heed nature’s laws. If men understood that the waning of sexual desire was natural, they certainly would welcome the change and would not use various methods of stimulating and awakening sexual desire.

=Minor indications.=--There are several minor signs which when they occur at or near the same time indicate the presence of this change in man. They are as follows: A notable loss of memory, loss of sight, streaks of gray appearing in the hair and beard and an ease of physical and mental fatigue. One or more of these conditions often exist and are due to other causes.

=Positive indications.=--The most positive indications of the presence of this change in man are: longer intervals between periods of sexual desire; a less intensity of sexual desire; a greater fatigue following sexual congress; frequency of desire to urinate; slowness to begin urinating; and irritation about the neck of the bladder. If one has been pure in thought, chaste in language and clean in life, this period will be postponed to later years in life and the symptoms will be less marked.

=Two advantages.=--There are at least two reasons why men should welcome the waning of sexual desire when the change of life occurs. One is that the period of life, when they are capable of transmitting the best possibilities to their children has passed. The other is that they will need to conserve their sex life, with a view to thirty years more of health, happiness, activity, usefulness, a glorious sunset and a triumphant entrance into the next life.

=A larger life.=--A continent single and a temperate married life will make it easy for the middle-aged man to conserve his energy the balance of his days. While his bodily powers may gradually wane, the real man within will rise to a height, grandeur and majesty never before possible. We have all known and read of a few old men who never arrived at their climax of intellectual and moral greatness until they were sixty and seventy. Gladstone was greater at eighty than he was at fifty.

=A sad old age.=--The indiscretions of youth and the excess of middle life place many old men where they are physically helpless, great sufferers, make no mental progress and often but little moral progress in old age.

=A chance to conserve energy.=--It should not be understood that a decline in sexual desire means the cessation of creative energy, a decline in general health, efficiency or happiness. Nature is giving man a chance to conserve his creative energy, to maintain his health, to increase his efficiency and to perfect his happiness.

=Marriage of old men.=--There is no reason why an old bachelor or widower should not marry provided they marry a woman near their age. But there are many reasons why he should not marry a gay young girl. He marries her for sensual reasons; she marries him for his money. He would not marry her, if she were near his age; she would not marry him, if he were poor. Such marriages not only violate physical law, but the mental and moral as well. As a rule there is but little love in such a union. For want of physical harmony their differences are not harmonized and their personalities do not blend into oneness.

=The rights of his first children.=--If he has a family of children they are likely to be older than his young wife. It will be quite impossible for her to be a real mother to the children. Family troubles will most likely follow. He must take the part of his wife and mistreat his children or vice versa.

=Children of senile men defective.=--If he marries a gay young girl for sensual reasons, he will indulge in the marital relations too frequently. This will lead to great personal injury to himself. Should additional children be born into his home, they would in most every case receive an unfortunate heredity. All authorities are agreed that a very large per cent. of the children born to senile fathers will be precocious of mind, frail of body and a disappointment in after life.

=Physical ailments common.=--Men who have received a fair heredity, led correct sexual lives, guarded their diet, taken plenty of exercise and sleep, bathed freely, used but little, or no, tea, coffee, tobacco, or liquors, will be free from most all the ailments common to middle life and old age. Gout, vertigo, rheumatism, apoplexy, paralysis and piles are a few of the common physical ailments to be found among men of this age. Any or all these diseases may result from sexual excesses or venereal diseases, still they are often due to other causes. While great sexual moderation, even complete continence, will be helpful in all these diseases, a competent home physician should be consulted.

Paralysis and apoplexy are more likely to come in old age to men who have been excessive than to men who have lived temperate or continent lives. Where one has had syphilis, these diseases are likely to occur at any time in life. If he has not had syphilis, these diseases are not likely to occur until late in life, if at all.

=Heart trouble.=--Where this exists in middle life the individuals should guard against sudden emotions or over-exercise. Occasionally an old man is found dead in his bed. The explanation given to the public is heart failure or apoplexy. This was the general cause. In many cases, the immediate occasion of the sudden death was the stress and strain of sexual excitement on the heart or the brain. Again, sometimes we read of an old man being found dead in a “scarlet” home. In such cases, we know that while the real cause was apoplexy or heart failure, that the immediate cause was sexual excitement.

=Genito-uninary diseases.=--Many diseases connected with the urinary and genital organs, due to gonorrhea contracted in youth, may appear in the man of middle life or old age. The disease regarded by the thoughtless youth as a trifle, is now regarded by the old man as serious. Should kidney trouble, gravel in the bladder, inflammation or enlargement of the prostate gland occur, a competent resident physician should be consulted.

=Final word.=--To the young man this chapter is a faithful flagman; to the man of middle age it demands an arrest of thought, serious reflection and a manly continence; to the old worn-out roué, engulfed in the maelstrom of lust, a last “life-line” is thrown; to the well-preserved old man it will inspire a pleasant reminiscence of a pure youth, a temperate manhood, a conservative of energy in middle life, and it will add a deep sense of gratitude to the many joys of a glorious old age.