CHAPTER XXI

FATHER’S FIRST TALK--BOYS MAKE MEN

Trees are grown-up sprouts; dogs are grown-up pups; horses are grown-up colts; and men are grown-up boys. A crooked, scarred sprout will produce an ugly, useless tree; a starved, neglected and abused pup will grow up to be a cowardly or vicious dog; a spoiled colt will make a vicious horse; boys who are not trained to work, study and be moral will grow up to be lazy, stupid and bad.

=A perfect tree, dog, horse must be trained.=--If you want a perfect tree, one that will be straight and shapely, one that will afford perfect shade or bear large, luscious fruit, you will have to give it proper care and training while it is young. If you want to have a perfect dog, one that will be large and handsome, one that will do what you want him to do, you must give him good care and training while he is young. If you would have a perfect horse, one with elastic bearing and beautiful form, one that will be gentle, go the gaits and travel fast, you must feed, groom and train him while he is young.

=Boys need training.=--If you would become a perfect man, you must be wisely trained and taught. A large part of this you can and must do for yourself. You must get a true idea of what it takes to make a perfect man. You must desire and purpose daily to live that life that will help you to reach your ideal. You must be willing to be trained and taught by those who are older and wiser than yourself.

=Boys want to be men.=--All boys really want to be men. They are great imitators. They look at men and decide what man they would rather be like. What a pity that all men are not what they appear to be to the inexperienced boy. So many appear to the boy to be real men, when they are not. Boys try to follow their examples and fail. It is so easy for a boy to make a mistake in what is required of him to become a perfect man.

=How one boy tried to be a man.=--I am quite intimately and personally acquainted with a man, who, when a boy, lived on a farm near a small town. Like all boys he longed to be a man. Some of his ideas were good and some were false. When he was about eight years old, he decided that if he could only ride a big bay horse and take a sack of corn to mill, then he would be a man. It was a happy day when he was allowed to do this. Having carefully balanced a sack of corn on the horse’s back, his father placed him on the horse behind the sack and started him to the mill.

That was the happiest day of his life. As he rode along the street of the village, all the boys and girls, men and women, seemed to be out on purpose to look at him. He could almost hear them saying, “Yonder goes ---- to mill this morning. See what a big man he is.” That boy never felt more like a man in his life than he did that morning. What do you suppose happened as he went back home? It was the saddest experience that boy ever had up to that time. His sack fell off. Then he cried like a boy. He felt like a boy. He acted like a boy. He knew that he was only a little boy. For several weeks he was willing to be only a little boy.

=Use of profanity.=--It is perfectly natural for a boy to long to be a man. So, it was not long before that boy again wanted to be a man. This time, a boy, some three years older than he, was visiting his home. His friend was some three inches taller, twenty pounds heavier and a few grades higher in school than he. As these boys rambled over the fields, climbed trees, and played together, my little friend had to listen to a constant stream of oaths, pouring from the lips of his visitor. He had been taught that swearing was a very great sin. Had he heard a little dirty street waif, or an old bloated, swaggering drunkard swearing, it would have been disgusting. But this time, swearing did not sound so badly. His friend wore fine clothes, his family had wealth and culture and this seemed to change the nature of swearing in this case. Before that day was over our little friend had decided that the only difference between him and his friend was, that his visitor could swear and he could not. He felt, that, if he could only swear, instantly he would grow six inches taller, twenty pounds heavier and a great deal smarter. He finally decided to try it. While they were walking by the back porch, he made the effort of his life and out came a big ugly oath. His heart hurt him. His conscience condemned him. He was sure that God heard him. He had dishonored his father and mother. He had insulted God. He wondered if his mother was not near. Glancing quickly over his shoulder, he saw his mother on the porch, and the expression on her face showed that she was much grieved. When the visitor had returned home and our little friend had danced at the end of a peach tree switch for some moments, he decided that swearing would not make a man. This was his first, last and only oath. He has never ceased to thank and love his mother for her faithful training.

Almost all men and boys who swear started where he did. They thought swearing would make them taller, heavier, wealthier, and smarter. This sin has never helped a boy to become a man. If a boy can swear and be manly, his mother and sister can swear and be perfectly ladylike. No man or boy can give a good reason why he swears. Intelligent people are supposed to understand and mean what they talk about. Idiots do not. Not one man or boy in a hundred, who swears, understands and means what he says. The words that he uses make him call upon God to send something or someone to hell. He does not understand or mean this. Idiots would be excusable for swearing; sensible men and boys are not. The kind of clothing a boy wears, the house he lives in, and the carriage he rides in, do not make his swearing manly.

=Use of tobacco.=--Months went by. This boy’s noble father had crossed over the river into heaven. He and his widowed mother were visiting among their relatives who lived in a rough country, many miles from their home. One night, after making a long journey on horseback, he slept so well that he did not wake until the sun was an hour high. On arising, he found that his cousin, a boy fifteen years old, had been out in the woods and had killed a number of squirrels before breakfast. In his estimation, his cousin was a hero, a great man.

Breakfast over, they rambled over a large tobacco farm. They became very chummy. At length they came to a large tobacco barn. His cousin pulled off a leaf of tobacco, rolled up a shapely cigar, lighted it and began smoking. As our friend stood and watched those dense clouds of smoke pour from the mouth and nose of his cousin, he whispered to himself, “Now I know why you can kill a mess of squirrels before breakfast. If I could smoke, I could do the same thing.” Once more he decided he would try to be a man. He selected the largest leaf that he could find. When he had finished making his first cigar, it resembled a saw log about as much as it did a first-class Havana. His cousin noticed that he could not get it into his mouth, and said, “You take my cigar and keep it going for a few minutes and I will make you one.” He kept it going for a few minutes, then it kept him going for about three hours. He lost little less than ten pounds of his former weight in a hurry. He was soon so weak that he could scarcely walk back to the house. His mother and friends were greatly frightened. His cousin’s face was as pale as a sheet. There was not a doctor in ten miles of the place. Many remedies were thought of and used. None did any good. Finally, his uncle’s father, quite an old man, suggested that the best remedy, ever used in those parts of Kentucky for sick stomach, was a sweetened toddy. This boy had been taught that the use of tobacco was a great sin and that the use of whisky was a still greater sin. He had acted very much like a fool and felt like one. He understood his case better than they did. He reasoned like this: “if whisky is worse than tobacco, the remedy they want me to take will kill me.” But, he was between two fires. If he confessed what he had done, he would get a switching, and if he took the remedy they were offering, he would die. What do you suppose that boy did? He was determined to keep his secret and he did not want to die, so, for convenience, he became a Christian Scientist, denied that he was sick and got well. This was his first, last and only experience in the use of tobacco.

=Why boys are tempted.=--Perhaps the average boy has no greater temptation than to use tobacco. He sees merchants, lawyers, doctors, occasionally a minister, and often his father using it. He does not see the expense side of the habit, because prosperous business men use it. He does not see the filthy side of it, because nicely dressed men use it. He does not see the injury to body and mind, for doctors use it. He does not see the wrong in the use of it, for good men use it. He does not see that thousands of children are in rags, live in rented cabins, go hungry and are deprived of many comforts and pleasures because the father has spent $50 a year for one or two score years on tobacco. He does not quite understand that doctors and sometimes ministers, like other men, die of a tobacco heart. He does not desire to imitate the dirty, ragged, stupid tobacco using wag on the street corner. He wants to be like the man dressed in broadcloth, wearing a fine beaver hat, twirling a golden-headed cane, with sparkling diamond ring and shirt studs and smoking a twenty-five cent cigar.

=The cigarette habit.=--The worst form of the tobacco habit is the use of the cigarette. When a boy falls into this habit, at the age of ten to fourteen, he never develops properly in his body or mind. You will understand this statement better, when it is referred to in another chapter. The boy who uses tobacco does not progress well in his studies. This has been tested in nearly all our military and naval schools as well as in other schools and colleges. Boys who use tobacco will gradually lose respect and courtesy for ladies. It is claimed by those who have studied the effects of the cigarette habit that it causes the boy to become dishonest. It is for these reasons that many business men will not employ a boy who is guilty of this habit.

There are many other wrongs that boys are tempted to engage in, that if yielded to will result in habits that prevent boys from becoming perfect men. It is hard for boys to see the injury that dishonesty and gambling, disobedience to parents and breaking the Sabbath will do for them. Some boys take pleasure in doing wrong and leading other boys to do wrong. If you keep company with them, do as they do, you will get a wrong start in life and find it a hard struggle later in life, when you would like to be a real man.

=The kind of boys who make men.=--Someone has said, “A dead fish can float down stream, but it takes a live one to swim up stream.” Any kind of a boy can float down the stream of life, have what he calls a good time in the world, live and die and never be missed. It takes a boy with a strong, healthy body, a sound mind, a pure heart and clean life, brave, determined and true to make a perfect man. You will need more than a strong will and the help of true friends, if you would resist the many temptations that are sure to come, be a perfect boy and become a perfect man. Christ alone can purify the heart and help you to live a clean life.