Self Knowledge and Guide to Sex Instruction: Vital Facts of Life for All Ages

CHAPTER XVII

Chapter 172,293 wordsPublic domain

MOTHER’S FOURTH TALK.--CONFIDENTIAL ADVICE

=Organs of sex can be abused.=--In other talks we learned the names, position and functions of the different parts of the female form. In this lesson we will study one of the abuses of the organs, and the effects. In childhood, youth and middle and old age the organs of sex may be abused in several ways. If girls knew their delicate nature and their sacred mission, I am sure they would never abuse these organs. The more delicate and sacred an organ is, the more serious will be the penalty following its abuse. The abuse of these most delicate organs of the body results in poor health, poor development, much suffering, and should the victims marry, their children would be puny, sickly and short-lived. The bearing of strong, healthy, beautiful, playful children is woman’s highest mission. It is for this reason that girls should understand the nature and functions of these organs and the results of abusing them.

=The secret sin--how learned.=--The special abuse we shall consider at this time is one that small girls are liable to learn or to have taught them by companions or servants. This habit has several names. It is called the “secret sin,” or “secret vice,” for the reason that every organ of the body, faculty of the mind and power of the soul is abused by it; “self-pollution,” because it is filthy; or “masturbation,” which comes from two words meaning the abuse of the body with the hand. This abuse consists in rubbing or handling the sexual organs so as to excite them and bring on a feeling of pleasure. Usually this vice is taught a girl by some companion. If a girl does not keep these parts clean, they become irritated and she will be disposed to rub or scratch them. In this way she would likely awaken a sense of pleasure and finally discover the vice. It sometimes occurs, not often, that a small ligament or membrane, called the frenum, is too short or broad, and this causes irritation and leads a girl to discover the secret vice. If you should find yourself inclined to rub those parts often, you should mention it to mamma. A girl may, by pressing this part of her body against some object, or by sitting with her feet underneath her, with the sole or heel of a shoe pressing or rubbing against these organs, discover this vice.

=What you should not do.=--From these illustrations you will learn that you should never handle or rub these organs except to wash and keep them clean. When you study these organs with a view to understanding them, or when you think of their sacred functions, these mental relations to these organs never do them harm. But when you entertain thoughts about them that you would not be willing to express to your mother; when you read an immoral book, look upon an obscene picture or engage in improper conversation about these organs, then these mental states cause the blood to rush to these organs and sex consciousness and passion follow. A girl cannot keep from the secret sin if she permits her mind to engage in wrong thinking.

=The moral effect of the sin.=--Perhaps the first effect of this sin is to be seen in the moral nature. The expression in the girl’s face often indicates that she is conscious of wrong doing. She will likely become irritable, peevish and disobedient. She will not take the interest in prayer, the Bible, good books and the church she once did.

=The mental effects.=--The constant excitement of the organs of sex leads to many forms of nerve trouble. The mind becomes sluggish and stupid. Memory fails and sometimes the poor victim becomes insane. This habit leads to a gloomy, despondent, discouraged state of mind. One does not longer enjoy life. Because of this mental state many commit suicide.

=The physical effects.=--Perhaps the most noticeable effects of this vice are to be found in the physical system. The eyes become hollow and lusterless, complexion sallow, cheeks haggard, lips and ears pale, muscles soft and flabby, the breasts shrink, the bodily form is stooped and weak. Every time the life-giving blood is caused by this sin to rush in undue quantities to these organs, it returns to the heart with less of life and more impurities. Such girls will grow up to be weak, puny women and will suffer from dyspepsia, consumption and nervous troubles. If you have learned to misuse these organs, you must determine that you will never do it again. By keeping the mind pure and never abusing these organs you will develop a healthy and perfect body, a bright and cheerful mind, a charming, winning personality, and live to be useful and happy.

=Two letters from young women.=--From a large number of letters received from young ladies who have heard the author’s lectures or read his books, the following letters are added to this chapter. A big-hearted man in Canada gave 500 copies of Perfect Manhood to that number of young men. Fortunately, a young woman who was greatly in need of help, read one of these books. These letters tell the sad story of thousands, whom the author is anxious to help.

=First Letter.=--

----M--, CANADA.

_Dear Professor:_

You will doubtless be surprised at receiving a letter from a young lady of twenty-seven, on a very delicate subject. Recently, I read one of your books, “Perfect Manhood,” presented by a friend to my brother. It was a great revelation to me. I wish I could have read it when I was twelve. When eleven, I was taught the secret sin by older girls. I continued the habit until I read your book. I never received one word of instruction about this vice from parents, teachers, or physicians. When twenty, I became an invalid. For one year I was placed in a hospital and treated by eminent specialists. I improved much. When I was twenty-four, my mind failed me and I was placed in a private institution. I am now very gloomy, despondent and I constantly dread a return of mental trouble.

I will greatly appreciate the favor if you can give me some additional advice and help. Please help me if you can.

Most sincerely,

----

Some four times a year, for three years, I received a letter from her. For eighteen months her letters indicated a hard-fought battle, small victories and a strong determination to win out. Each succeeding letter indicated greater victories. In her last letter she assured me that her womanhood had been restored and that she was entertaining a marriage proposition from a worthy and very superior young man.

_Professor T. W. Shannon, City._

DEAR SIR: I heard your lecture this afternoon and am now going to write for help and advice. First, I shall tell you the story.

Like most children, I began quite early in childhood to ask about my origin, and received answers that were falsehoods. I do not remember just what I was first told, but the replies given did not satisfy my enquiring mind. I eagerly listened to the vulgar stories of servants and schoolmates and before I was twelve years old my mind was taken up with lascivious thoughts and vulgar expressions.

Two months before I was thirteen, I was taught how to practice that awful habit, the secret sin. I became a slave to it. I could not stop. In the spring after I was fourteen I was converted. Again I tried, oh so hard, to quit this habit, but I could not. My mind was filled with those ugly words and I could not expel them. This sin is still troubling me and I can’t get rid of it. Oh, I would give anything if I could.

Now, I am away from home attending college, and I know that my parents (especially mamma) are worried. They fear that I, being young, and, as they think, ignorant of all these things, may bring disgrace to them.

Last winter a friend gave me a book entitled, “Letters of Love to Our Girls,” but mamma and papa hid it. I asked them why they did so. I received the answer, “It is a book that no married person should read, let alone a young girl.”

I have a little sister nine years old. For four years she has often asked questions about the origin of animals. When a colt is born or a calf, or kitten, or pigs, she always asks the same question. “Where did Dolly find her colt? Where did Lily find her calf?” etc., and they always put her off with some falsehood.

Please advise me how I may be able to rid myself of this habit.

Yours in earnest,

----

=I gave her the following advice:=

“_Dear Friend:_

Your letter received. In reply, I am glad you had the courage to ask for advice and to state facts so frankly.

Your trouble began with your false training in childhood. If you had been taught the sacredness of the sexual organs and their functions, your mind would have been safeguarded against this vice. Instead, you received the very opposite information. Half-truths, clothed in vulgar language, received from the ignorant and vicious, lead naturally to a morbid interest in matters of sex and consequently to a habit of lascivious thinking. Impure thinking causes the blood to rush to the sexual organs. The inflamed and gorged condition, due to this rush of blood to these parts, results in frequent experiences of sex consciousness and passion. This leads very naturally to the handling of the organs of sex.

That you may clearly understand the relation of the mind to the secret sin, and what you must do if you would break from it, I will use the following illustration: Suppose that you have been at hard work for five or six hours and have had nothing to eat during the time. You now come into the presence of a well-spread table, or a basket full of luscious fruit. You must wait ten minutes for others to take their places at the table. You become quite conscious of hunger; you remember how the kinds of food taste, how you have enjoyed them before, and you are eager to begin eating. These mental states cause the blood to rush to the salivary glands. They are stimulated to unusual activity. Under these conditions the saliva flows rapidly. Just at this moment, something unusual occurs. The blinding flash of lightning followed quickly by a deafening peal of thunder. Looking out you see some limbs falling from a nearby tree. You run to the window and for ten minutes your attention is wholly called from the thought of food. Now the saliva is flowing just fast enough to keep your mouth pleasantly moist. Excitement over, you again become interested in the food, hunger returns, you begin once more to entertain pleasant thoughts about the food, blood rushes to the mouth and the salivary glands are stimulated and the saliva is formed many times faster than when your mind was wholly engaged in the exciting scene a few minutes before.

When you allow your mind to entertain impure thoughts and words, the blood rushes to the genital organs and they become inflamed, resulting in passion. Now your victory over this habit will come just as fast as you can learn to get control of your mind in these matters. This is not done in a day. For five or six years you have allowed your mind to entertain wrong thoughts. In this way you have brought about a condition in which the slightest suggestions relating to sex, any pressure or friction of clothing or irritation of parts causes the blood to rush to these organs apparently without your willing it. This will gradually cease as you begin to get control of your mind.

There are several things that will help you. When you are tempted to entertain impure thoughts or to practice the sin, immediately engage your mind in something else. Pray, read the Bible or some good book, write a letter to mamma or some friend, perform some duty or take a walk, anything that will take your mind from the temptation. Refuse to handle these organs except to keep them clean. Bathing the parts in cold water tends to allay passion. If you have in your possession any suggestive pictures or questionable literature, destroy them. Cultivate the habit of looking upon every young man as you would upon your brother or father.

One of the most common effects of this habit is discouragement, gloominess, despondency. These mental states must be overcome. Constantly a firm “I will break from this habit,” “I will have only pure thoughts.” Don’t chide and condemn yourself any more because of the errors of the past. God has mercifully and lovingly forgiven them and graciously offers to give you strength and grace with which to win the battles of the future. Hopefully, cheerfully and bravely face the future. You may occasionally meet with defeat. If so, try again. No lasting defeat can come to one who keeps on trying. Victory will crown the persistent effort.

We often help ourselves by helping others. You are only one of the many girls who have had a similar experience. The battles you are fighting in your life will enable you to be a blessing to other weak ones.

If I can be of any help to you in the future, write me. If this letter helps you in any small degree to win a victory, pass the blessing on to another.

“Very sincerely, “T. W. S.”