Part 4

I. For this work, fathers advanced in age, should be chosen, of lively complexion and agreeable conversation, by whom these widows are to be visited, and as soon as they show any affection towards the society, then let the works and merits of the society be exhibited to them, which if they receive, and begin to visit our churches, look out for them a confessor, by whom they may be weekly directed, especially in order to constancy in their widowed state, by enumerating and praising its advantages and happiness; and let them pledge their faith and stake themselves as hostages that eternal reward can be acquired by such a course, and that it is the most effectual method to escape the pains of purgatory.

II. Also let the confessor provide that they should be occupied in embellishing some house, as a chapel, or oratory, in which they can employ themselves in meditations and spiritual exercises, so that they may the more easily be called away from the conversation and visits of suitors; and although they may have a chaplain, let _ours_ not abstain from the celebration of mass, and especially from exhortations properly made; and study to keep the chapel under their control.

III. Things which relate to the government of the house should be cautiously and gradually changed, so that regard be had to person, place, affection, and devotion.

IV. Let those domestics especially, be removed, but by little and little, who do not plainly communicate and correspond with the society; and let such be recommended, if any should be substituted, who depend on us, and are content to do so; for so we can be made acquainted with all things which are done in families.

V. The whole effort of the confessor should look to this point, that the widow should use and acquiesce in his advice in all things; which he may occasionally show to be the only foundation of her spiritual proficiency.

VI. The frequent use of the sacraments, and especially of penance, is to be advised, in which she may open the thoughts of her mind and all her temptations most freely; and then frequent communion, and the sacred rite of confession, to which she should be invited with promises of _special_ prayers; and the recitation of the litany and daily examination of conscience.

VII. It will also aid, not a little, to the fullest knowledge of all her inclinations, that a general confession, though it may have been made to another, be repeated.

VIII. Exhortations should be made concerning the advantages of widowhood, the troubles of matrimony, especially when repeated, and concerning the dangers which have been once incurred, &c.; and which pertain in the highest degree to man.

IX. Sometimes, skilfully make the proposal of some suitor, but of one whom it is well known the widow abhors; the vices and bad habits of those who are thought to please her are to be depicted so that she may sicken at all second marriages.

X. When therefore it appears that she is well affected to the state of widowhood, then let a spiritual life be recommended, not a recluse one, the inconveniences of which had better be set forth and exaggerated; but such as was that of Paula, or Eustachia, &c. and let the confessor take care as soon as possible that by a vow of chastity extended to at least two or three years, he prevent every step to second marriages, during which time all conversation with the opposite sex, and even intercourse with relations and connexions, are to be forbidden, under the pretext of greater communion with God. As for the Ecclesiastics by whom the widow shall be visited, or whom she shall visit, if all cannot be excluded, let such only be admitted as come by our recommendation, or are dependant upon us.

XI. When it shall have gone thus far, let the widow be persuaded by little and little to good works, especially to _alms-giving_; but even this she is by no means to do without the direction of her spiritual father; since it is of the highest importance that her talent be given with discretion for her spiritual improvement; and alms ill applied may be the cause, or occasion, of sins, and so might yield only small benefits and rewards.

CAP. VII.

_Quomodo conservandæ viduæ, et disponendum de bonis quæ habent._

I. Urgeantur continuo ut pergant in devotione et operibus bonis, sic ut nulla hebdomada transeat, quin sua sponte aliquid in honorem Christi, B. Virginis, vel patroni sui præscindant a se de superfluis; quod ipsum in pauperes erogent, vel ornatui templorum destinent, donec spoliis plerisque et primitiis Ægypti sint exutæ.

II. Quod si præter communem affectum, suam erga societatem nostram liberalitatem testentur, idque facere continuent, fiant omnium meritorum societatis participes, cum indulto speciali Provincialis, aut etiam, si tantæ personæ fuerint, generalis.

III. Si emiserint votum castitatis, renovent illud more nostro bis in anno, concessa illis pro illa die recreatione honesta cum nostris.

IV. Visitentur crebro, et jucundis colloquiis, et historiis spiritualibus, ac facetiis recreentur et foveantur, juxta uniuscujusque humorem et inclinationem.

V. Non tractentur nimis rigide in confessione, ne morosæ nimis fiant, nisi forte amissa spe gratiam illarum aliunde occupatam recuperandi; in qua magna discretione de inconstanti mulierum genio judicandum.

VI. Arceantur ingeniose à visitationibus et festivitatibus aliorum templorum, maxime religiosorum, et inculcetur illis omnes aliorum ordinum indulgentias in societatem esse refusas.

VII. Si lugendum ipsis sit, permittatur ornatus lugubris cum honesta majestate aliquid spirituale simul et mundanum spirans, ut non apprehendant se à viro spirituali plane gubernari; denique modo non sit periculum inconstantiæ, et erga societatem fideles et liberales inveniantur, concedatur illis quidquid ad sensualitatem requirunt, moderate et excluso scandalo.

VIII. Collocentur apud viduas aliæ puellæ honestæ et parentibus divitibus ac nobilibus natæ, quæ nostrorum directioni, et modo vivendi paulatim assuefiant; his præsit aliqua à confessario totius familiæ ad hoc electa et constituta; subjiciantur syndicationibus aliisque consuetudinibus societatis, et quæ sese accommodare nolunt, dimittantur ad parentes vel alios à quibus adductæ erant, describantur tanquam dyscolæ, difficilis genii, &c.

IX. Nec minor cura sanitatis, et recreationis illarum, quam salutis habenda erit; quare si de valetudine conquerantur, statim jejunia, cilicia, disciplinæ, aliæque pœnitentiæ corporales, prohibebuntur; neque permittantur ad templum etiam exire, sed domi secreto et caute administrentur. Dissimuletur cum illis ingressus in hortum vel collegium, modo secrete id fiat, permittantur colloquia et recreationes secretæ cum iis qui maxime arriserint.

X. Pro dispositione redituum quos habet vidua in favorem societatis facienda, proponatur perfectio status hominum sanctorum, qui relicto mundo, parentibus, et bonis abdicatis, cum magna resignatione, et animi hilaritate Deo servierunt. Exponantur in ordine ad hoc quæ habentur in constitutione et examine societatis, de istiusmodi renunciatione et obnegatione omnium rerum. Allegentur exempla viduarum, quæ sic brevi in sanctas evaserunt, cum spe canonizationis, si sic in finem usque perseveraverint, ostendaturque ipsis non defuturam ad hoc nostrorum apud pontificem auctoritatem.

XI. Imprimendum ipsis hoc firmiter, si conscientiæ perfecta quiete frui velint, omnino sine murmuratione, tædio, aut ulla renitentia interiori, sequendam esse tam in temporalibus quam in spiritualibus confessarii directionem, tamquam à Deo peculiariter destinati.

XII. Instruendæ etiam per occasionem, gratius esse si personis ecclesiasticis maxime religiosis spectatæ et exemplaris vitæ eleemosynas suas dent, non nisi conscio tum et approbante confessario.

XIII. Cavebunt diligentissime confessarii, ne quocumque prætextu hujusmodi viduæ illorum pœnitentes alios religiosos invisant, aut familiaritatem cum illis ineant, quod ut impediant, conabuntur suo tempore deprædicare societatem tamquam ordinem superlativum præ cæteris, et utilissimum in ecclesia, majoris auctoritatis apud pontificem et principes omnes, perfectissimum in se, quia dimittit noxios et inidoneos, adeoque sine spuma et fecibus vivit, quibus scatent monachi, plerumque indocti, bardi, segnes, salutis suæ incurii, ventricolæ, &c.

XIV. Proponant confessarii et suadeant illis ordinarias pensiones, et tributa, quibus subleventur annuatim collegiorum et domorum professarum debita, præcipue domus professæ Romanæ, nec immemores sint ornamentorum templi, ceræ, vini, &c. ad celebrationem missæ sacrificii necessariorum.

XV. Quod si in vita sua vidua ex pleno bona sua societati non inscripserit, proponatur illi per occasionem, et præsertim ingruente gravi morbo aut periculo vitæ, egestas, novitas et multitudo plurimorum collegiorum nondum fundatorum, inducanturque suaviter et fortiter ad sumtus faciendos, quibus æternam gloriam sunt fundaturæ.

XVI. Idem faciendum cum principibus, et benefactoribus aliis; persuadendum, inquam, ea quæ perpetua sunt in hoc mundo et in altero æternam illis gloriam à Deo paritura; quod si hinc inde aliqui malevoli allegent exemplum Christi, qui non habeat ubi caput reclinaret, velintque socios Jesu similiter esse pauperrimos, ostendatur et serio imprimatur passim omnibus, ecclesiam Dei nunc mutatam et monarchiam factam, quæ auctoritate et potentia magna tueri se debet, contra potentissimos inimicos, et esse lapidem illum parvum excisum qui crevit in montem maximum, prædictum per prophetam.

XVII. Istis quæ addictæ sunt eleemosynis et ornatui templorum, ostendatur crebro, summam perfectionem in eo consistere, quod terrenarum rerum amore esse exuentes, ipsum Christum ejusque socios earum possessores faciant.

XVIII. Sed quia minus semper sperandum à viduis quæ liberos suos ad sæculum dirigunt, videbimus.

CHAP. VII.

_How widows are to be retained; and how to dispose of the goods which they may leave._

I. Let them be urged constantly to go on in their devotion, and good works, so that no week may pass in which they do not retrench spontaneously some of their superfluities, for the honor of Christ, the blessed Virgin, or their patron saint; which let them give to the poor, or devote to the decoration of temples, till they are divested of the most of these treasures, like the first fruits of Egypt.

II. But if besides their common affection, they show a liberality to this society, and continue stedfast; let them become partakers of all the merits of the society, by the special indulgence of the provincial, or even of the general, if they be eminent persons.

III. If they have taken a vow of chastity, let them renew it, according to our custom, twice a year; innocent recreation being conceded to them, on that day with our members.

IV. Let them be frequently visited, entertained and amused with agreeable conversations and stories, spiritual and facetious, according to each one’s humor and inclination.

V. Let them not be too rigidly treated in confession, lest they become too morose; except where the hope be lost of regaining the favor of those enticed from us, in which case great discretion is to be exercised on account of the characteristic inconstancy of women.

VI. Let them be carefully kept from the visitations and festivals of other churches, especially those of the religious orders; and let it be impressed upon them that all the indulgences of other orders are abundant in our society.

VII. If any mourning-dress be required by them, let it be of a becoming elegance, having an air at once religious and fashionable, lest they think themselves governed entirely by their spiritual guide; and if there should not be any danger of inconstancy, and they should be found faithful and liberal towards the society, let what they may require for sensuality be granted them moderately, scandal being avoided.

VIII. Let other ladies who are young and respectable, and descended from rich and noble parents, be placed with widows, that they by degrees become accustomed to our direction and manner of living: over these let some female preside, elected and appointed for this purpose, by the confessor of the whole family; let them be subject to the decisions and other established rules of the society, and let those who will not accommodate themselves to them, be sent to their parents or others, by whom they were brought to us; and let them be described as perverse and of an ungovernable disposition, &c.

IX. Nor should less care be taken of their health and amusements than of their safety; wherefore if any complain of indisposition, at once let all fasting, the use of the hair-shirt, and of bodily penances, be forbidden; nor let them be permitted to go even to church, but secretly and cautiously let them be administered to at home; let their visits to gardens and colleges, provided they be secret, pass unnoticed; and let their intercourse and private amusements, with those whom they most delight in, be connived at.

X. To obtain such a disposal of the revenues which any widow may have as will be favorable to the society, let the perfection of the state of holy men, be exhibited, who having left the world, renounced their parents and possessions, with great resignation and cheerfulness of mind, have served God. And for this end let what is contained in the constitution and rules of the society, about this kind of renunciation and self-denial of all things, be explained in order. Let other examples be adduced of widows who thus in a short time have been sanctified, and obtained hope of canonization, if they should thus persevere to the end; and let it be shown to them that for this object our influence with the pope shall not be wanting.

XI. Let this be firmly impressed upon them, that if their consciences would enjoy perfect tranquility, the direction of the confessor, as well in temporal as in spiritual things, is to be as implicitly followed, without murmuring, reluctance or any inward _reservation_, as if particularly ordained by God himself.

XII. They are also to be properly instructed that even if they should give alms to ecclesiastics, or what is better, to the professed, and even those of respectable and exemplary lives, still they are not acceptable if given without the knowledge and approbation of the confessor.

XIII. Let the confessors most diligently take care that such widows as are their penitents should, under no pretext, visit persons of other religious orders, or enter into any familiarity with them; to prevent which they should endeavor at the proper time to exhibit the society as an order superior to all others, and most useful in the church; of greater authority with the pope, and all rulers; most perfect in itself, because it dismisses the hurtful and unfit, and so lives without the scum and dregs with which the monastic orders are infected, who mostly are ignorant, stupid, slothful, careless about their salvation, gormandisers, &c.

XIV. Let the confessors propose to them, and persuade them to give pensions and contributions, with which the ordinary yearly expenses of colleges and houses of the professed, especially that at Rome, may be discharged; neither should they be forgetful of the ornaments of the temple, and of wax-tapers, wine, &c., necessary for the celebration of the sacrifice of mass.

XV. But if any widow in her life should not have given to the society her whole estate, let a proper occasion be taken, and especially when she is laboring under severe indisposition and her life is in danger, to represent to her the indigence, recent foundation, and multitude of our colleges not yet endowed, and let her be encouraged to undertake those expenses as the foundation of her own eternal glory.

XVI. The same is to be done with rulers and other benefactors; for they are to be persuaded to say that these are the acts which are memorable in this world, and prepare eternal glory from God, for them in another; but if any malevolent persons should allege the example of Christ, who had not where he might lay his head, and wish the companions of Jesus to be also very poor, let it be shown and seriously impressed upon all, every where, that THE CHURCH OF GOD IS NOW CHANGED, AND MADE A MONARCHY, which ought to defend itself with great authority and power against the most powerful enemies, and that it is that little stone hewn out of a _rock_ which increases to a very great mountain, as predicted by the prophets.

XVII. To those who are inclined to alms-giving, and to the adorning of churches, let it be shown that therein consists the greatest perfection; because extricating themselves from the love of worldly things they may make Christ himself and his companions possessors of them.

XVIII. But because we always expect less from widows who educate their children for the world, we will see.

CAP. VIII.

_Quomodo faciendum, ut filii et filiæ viduarum religiosum aut devotarium statum amplectantur._

I. Sicut matribus fortiter, sic nostris suaviter in hac materia est agendum: matres, nimirum, instruendæ ut proli suæ reprehensionibus, castigationibus, &c. molestæ sint à teneris dum provectiores præsertim filiæ fuerint, muliebrem ornatum et clenodias illis negent; optando sæpe et Deum rogando ut ad statum ecclesiasticum adspirent, et pollicendo insignem dotem si moniales esse voluerint; exponant sæpe difficultates quæ in matrimonio sunt omnibus communes, et si quas ipsæmet in particulari expertæ sint, dolendo quod cælibatum suo tempore matrimonio non prætulerint; denique sic agant continuo, ut filiæ præsertim, tædio vitæ apud matrem tali modo transigendæ, de statu religioso cogitent.

II. Cum filiis conversentur nostri familiariter, si quidem ad societatem nostram apti visi fuerint, introducantur opportune in collegium, et ostendantur, explicenturque illis ea, quæ quoquo modo grata futura, et ad societatem amplectendam invitatura credentur, ut sunt horti, vineæ, domus rurales, et prædia, ubi nostri sese recreant; narretur illis itineratio ad diversa regna, communicatio cum principibus mundi, et quæcumque juvenilem ætatem oblectant, in refectorio et cubiculis exterior mundities, blanda conversatio inter nostros, regulæ nostræ facilitas, cui tamen compromissa est gloria Dei, ordinis denique nostri super alios præ-eminentia, et colloquia simul faceta cum piis commisceantur.

III. Moneantur quasi ex revelatione interdum ad religionem in genere; deinde caute insinuetur perfectio et commoditas nostræ præ cæteris, exponanturque tum in publicis exhortationibus, tum in privatis colloquiis, quam sit grave contra vocationem divinam calcitrare: tandemque inducantur ad facienda exercitia spiritualia, ut de statu vitæ deligendo concludant.

IV. Procurent nostri ut hujusmodi adolescentes instructores habeant societati addictos, qui continuo invigilent et hortentur; si autem reluctentur, subtrahantur hinc inde aliqua, ut tædio vitæ afficiantur. Exponat mater difficultates familiæ. Tandem, si non ita commode fieri possit, ut sua sponte animum ad societatem adjiciant, mittantur titulo studiorum ad remota societatis gymnasia, et ex parte matris pauca submittantur solatia, ex parte vero societatis adhibeantur lenocinia, ut affectum in nostros transferant.

CHAP. VIII.

_What must be done that the sons and daughters of widows may embrace a religious or devoted life._

I. As the mothers are to act firmly, so we must act mildly in this matter: let the mothers be certainly instructed that by reproofs, chastisements, &c., they may be severe to their children from infancy, and when the daughters especially become more advanced, let them deny them female ornaments and dress; and by often desiring and praying God to incline them to the ecclesiastical state, and by promising some remarkable gift if they would become _nuns_: let them often explain the difficulties which are common to all in matrimony, and those which they themselves have particularly experienced, by lamenting that they had not preferred a single life to marriage; and finally let them continually so act that their daughters especially, disgusted with the tedium of a life passed in such a manner with their mothers, might think of a religious state.

II. Let our members converse familiarly with their sons, or if any should appear adapted for our society, let them be introduced occasionally into the college, and let those things be shown and explained to them which may be in any manner pleasant; and that the invitations to join our society may be accepted, let such things as gardens, vineyards, country seats, and estates, where we amuse ourselves, be shown them; let our travels to different kingdoms, our intercourse with the rulers of the world, and whatsoever may delight young persons be told them; let them see the external neatness of our refectories and bed-rooms; the cheerful intercourse among ourselves, the ease of our government to which is yet promised the glory of God; and finally the pre-eminence of our order above all others, and let our conversations mix what is pleasant with what is grave.

III. Let them be exhorted sometimes, as if by inspiration, to religion in general; and then let the perfection and excellence of our society be cautiously insinuated; let them also know, both in public exhortations and private conversations, how great a sin it is to spurn the divine call; and finally let them be persuaded to perform such spiritual exercises as will strengthen their preference for such a life.

IV. We should take care to have instructors attached to our society, who may constantly watch and exhort such youth; but if they should be reluctant abridge their privileges somewhat now and then, that they by such monotony of life may be made submissive. Let the mother explain the difficulties of the family. At last if it cannot thus be properly affected, that of their own choice they would move their minds to the society, let them be sent under the pretext of their studies to remote institutions of the society; and while on the part of the mother few comforts are allowed to be administered, on the part of the society let strong allurements be shown that their affections may be transferred to us.

CAP. IX.

_De reditibus collegiorum augendis._