Part 5

Under ordinary circumstances, when persons who are not "habituated" have any natural substance to deal with--say, for instance, a _deal_ table--the mind naturally endeavours to account in a natural way for such a piece of furniture moving or being moved without any assignable natural cause. Common sense in this case being "put out of court," and the scientific world having seemingly "given it up," there is no other source left but to deal with the spirits or their mediums in this matter; and I would here ask if these _tables_, heavy or light, are moved by this "life-sphere" or "atmosphere" which is "permeated by our wills;" or if the hands made out of this airy nothing move and lift the furniture? As _they can_ give an answer to the query, we shall all surely be very much obliged to them if they will do so; and whilst they are preparing their answer, I will go on with a little more nonsense, and make a most ridiculous suggestion upon the table lifting, quite as ridiculous perhaps as anything that has emanated from the spirits or their mediums. It may seem absurd to bring "Dame Nature" into this "circle," but nevertheless it does seem true that animals who are associated with man seem to partake, to a very large extent, of man's intelligence. Dogs particularly so, cats pretty well, and even pigs have been known, when domesticated, to be cleanly and polite, and of course we have all heard of the "learned pig." Dear little birds, and even asses and geese, have been known to share in this "life sphere" or "atmosphere" of man's brain. I knew a man who was educating and training a goose, to come out before the public as a performer as a _learned_ goose, which intention was unfortunately not carried out, in consequence of an accident which happened to the poor bird about "Michaelmas" time. It appears that he got placed so near a large fire that he was very soon "_done brown_," and upon a "post mortem" examination it was discovered that he was stuffed full of _sage_ and onion.

We are so accustomed to have intelligent animals about us, that we do not look upon it as anything very extraordinary. Nevertheless, the phenomena is not the less wonderful for all that. Now I lay this question on the table, for the spirits to rap out an answer--viz., as tables and chairs are associated with man (and woman, of course), can, or is the vital spark, or life principle, conveyed from the body into the wood, which is _porous_, and can it make these otherwise _inanimate_ objects "all alive alive O?" The reader must excuse me for asking such a silly question, and will please to recollect that I am not putting the question to him, but to the silly spirits and their mediums, for these _spirits_, it is stated, are sometimes quite as silly as _any body_ can be. I therefore ask again whether the vital principle or force is conveyed into the tables whilst the parties or "circle" are pressing their hands upon it; and if not, please to tell us what it is, for the "outer" world are very anxious and waiting to know. It must be observed that the tables only move under this _pressure_, and whilst the "circle" is thus acting and using its _atmospheric_ influence, otherwise the tables might or would be always jumping about the room; and if the tables are not thus moved by animal heat, how would the animal man be able to get his meals? And it follows as a natural--beg pardon, spiritual--consequence, that if this be not the case, or the cause, then are the spirits a very thoughtful and well-behaved society, to be thus careful not to rattle or roll the table about and jump it up and down when the dinner is spread; or perhaps these spirits partake of the "good things of this life," as very poor French emigrants used to do, namely, by merely _smelling_ the viands at a cook's shop--"sniff, sniff, ah! dat is nice a roast a bef--sniff, sniff, ah! dat nice piece de veal--ah! sniff, sniff, dat a nice piece a de pork--ah! ah! sniff, sniff"--but if they don't _eat_ it appears they _drink_; for in an article by R. H. Hatton, in the "Victoria Magazine,"[5] entitled "The Unspiritual World of Spirits," it states that Mr. Howitt "believes in a modern German ghost that drank beer," which called forth the words (with a horrible exclamation), "it swallows!" and at a "_seance_" held at a chateau near Paris, three years back, a gentleman asked for some brandy and water, which when brought was "snatched out of his hold by a spirit-hand which carried it beneath the table," and "the glass came back _empty_." We are told that the spirits have difficulty in making a finger; if so, they must have a greater difficulty in "making mouths;" but suppose they do make a mouth, and the spirits drink the beer and spirits, where is the liquid to go to, if they have made no stomach out of the _atmosphere_ of the _ladies_ and gentlemen forming the "circle" round the table? This does not look as if it were "all fair and above board;" but, on the contrary, very much as if there were some clever rascally little _bodies_ playing their pranks and taking the "spirits" under the table; however, if it be the _real_ spirits who drank the beer and spirits, I as a teetotaler must express my disgust at such conduct, and, for one, will have nothing to do with such spirits; indeed, I am quite shocked to find, contrary to all former ideas of spiritual life, that even these "_pure_ spirits" have still a taste for the spirit of alcohol. I really begin to fear that these drinking, if not drunken spirits, do haunt the "spirit-vaults." The _beer_ they drink is, I presume, "_Home_-brewed."

[5] Published by Emily Faithful. And I take this opportunity of wishing success to the "Victoria Magazine," as a part of the good work in which that lady is engaged.

But to turn again to the "table-turning." One way that I would suggest this question, to test, as to whether it be the life principle that gives a sort of life to these wooden _legs_, and _drawers_, and _body_, and _flaps_, from which the spirits send out their "raps," would be, to substitute an IRON TABLE, a good heavy iron table, and as it is said they can lift any weight, let 'em lift that; and if not iron, then try a good large MARBLE SLAB. If the iron will not "enter into _their_ soul," let them try if their _soul_ will enter into the iron, or if the stone will be moved by the "atmosphere" of their flesh and their bone.

Wonders, it is said, will never cease, and most assuredly some of the tales told of these "_seances_," and some of the reported spirit exhibitions are so wonderful, so astounding, that one does not know _how_ to believe them; and there are certain circumstances in some parts of the performance that look so _like_ trickery, that it is impossible to accept the _whole_ relation as fact, however much we might feel disposed to receive a part thereof. Some of these performances are performed in the dark, in the "pitch dark," so dark that the company cannot see each other; and it is in this state of "inner" and "utter" darkness that the spirits prefer to lift Mr. Home, and _float him up to the ceiling_,[6] so that the spirits who lift him are "_invisible_ spirits," and Mr. Home is _invisible_ also. And this makes me think that these spirits are without clothing, and being so, are ashamed to show themselves. I put this as a question to Mr. Home, and also, as they only _make_ hands and _shake_ hands, if they are not "ashamed to show their faces," _why_ don't they _make faces_? (I don't mean grimaces). But I should not only like to know why they don't make some "atmospheric" "life-sphere" faces, but should also very much like to sketch their likenesses, or "take them off," as people say.

[6] I should like to ask a question here-- Is Home by spirits lifted, or by "atmosphere?"

Touching upon these faces reminds me that a new feature has been introduced in this _new_ world, that is, taking up this new fashion of the _old_ world by having "_carte de visites_." A Mr. _Mum_-ler, of Boston, U.S., discovered that these spirits have a taste for art as well as music, and that they have a little vanity like ourselves; and it has since been discovered that _fraud_ has been _discovered_, of photographers--"_palming off as spirit likeness_--_pictures of persons now alive!_" But here comes the CLOTHES TEST again, these _spirited_ portraits have all got their _clothes on_. Apparitions of suits of clothes, spirits of _coats_, _boots_, and _ladies' dresses_!!!

This _test_ of the _clothing_ is very severe, for without having clothes the ghost can't appear; for even that extraordinary clever invention of Professor Pepper's, the "patent" ghost, which he exhibited at the Polytechnic Institution, and which is introduced into a piece called "The Haunted Man and the Ghost's Bargain," now performing at the Adelphi Theatre, and which ghost, I am sorry to say, I have not yet had time to see, but this "patent ghost," of course, has CLOTHES on. In fact, apparitions cannot appear without clothes, and apparitions of clothes cannot appear; and so--but really I had quite forgotten that I had left Mr. Home sticking up against the ceiling, upon which it appears he makes his _mark_--all in the dark--as a kind of "skylark." "_Seeing_ is believing," but as his friends could not see him, he was obliged to do some thing of this sort, suspecting, I suppose, that his friends would not take _his word_. When a light was thrown upon this scene, Mr. Home was discovered lying upon his back upon the table! It may be rude to say that all this was all a trick, but pardonable, perhaps, to say it looks very like trickery.

Talking of "skylarking," reminds me, that in conversation with a friend of mine, who is a believer in Mr. Home, and expressing a doubt about the possibility of Mr. H. kicking his heels up in the air in this way, and asking if it were not imaginary, my friend assured me that it was no "flight of fancy," that it was quite true, and that it was not at all improbable but that some day, in daylight, we might "see Mr. Home _floating across the metropolis_!" I suggested that Mr. H. had better mind what he was about, as there was danger in such a flight, for some short-sighted sports-man, or if not short-sighted, he might be in such a state of _fuddle_ as not "to know a hawk from a hand saw," and might mistake him for some gigantic, "monstrous blackbird," or some "_rara avis_," and bring him down with his gun, though in this case he would not want to "bag his game."

To prevent such a hit as this, or rather such a _mis_chance, I would suggest that due notice should be given to the public when Mr. Home intends appearing up above the chimney-pots; and that in addition to his _floating_, that the spirits should run him along the "electric telegraph" wires. That would be something worth seeing, and much better than the stupid, silly, nonsensical tricks they now play either on the table or under the table.

There used formerly, even in my time--I don't go back so far as the reign of the Charles's, but to the days of the "charlies," as the old watchmen were called, and before the "_new_ police" were introduced to the public,--in those days ghost tricks were played in various parts of London; one favourite spot was in front of St. Giles's churchyard, near unto a "spirit vault." It used to be reported that there was a ghost every night in this churchyard, but it was an invisible ghost, for it never was seen, though there was a mob of people gaping and straining their eyes to get a peep at it; but during this time, some low cunning spirits used to creep out of the adjoining spirit vaults, mix amongst the crowd, and having very _light fingers_, used, instead of _tapping_ the people on the knees, as the spirits do at the "_seances_" they dipped their hands into the "atmosphere" of respectable people's pockets, and "spirited away" their watches, handkerchiefs, pocket-books, or anything else that came in their way, and then bolt into the vaults again.

N.B.--These spirits could swallow _spirits_, like those described in the preceding pages.

Spirits of the old style used to delight in the darkness of night, but sometimes they'd show their pale faces by moonlight. A "_seance_" is described that took place by moonlight. I don't mean to _assert_ that it was _all_ "moonshine." A table was placed in front of a window between the curtains; the "circle" round the table and the space between the curtains was the _stage_ where the performance took place. Query: How did the mediums know, when they placed this table, that the spirits who "lent a hand" in the performance would act their play at that part of the table? By the by, the _table_ plays an important part in these spirited pieces; the spirits surely would not be able to get on at all without a _table_! At each side of this stage, lit by the moon, and close to the window curtains, which formed as it were the "proscenium," stood a gentleman, one on each side, like two "prompters," one of whom was Mr. Home; and when one particular hand was thrust up above the rim of the table, and which _hand_ had a _glove on_, Mr. H. cried out, "Oh! keep me from that hand! it is so cold; do not let it touch me." Query: How did Mr. H. know that this hand _was so cold_? and had it put the glove on because it felt itself so cold? And out of whose "atmosphere," or "life sphere" had the spirit made this hand? if it were _so_ cold, it must have got the stuff through some very _cold-hearted_ "medium." Then comes my _clothes test_ again, where did the _hand_ get the _glove_? Suppose it was a _spirit hand_, the hand of a soul that once did live on earth, could it be the _spirit_ of a _glove_? Whilst waiting for an answer to these queries, I would suggest to these "mediums," that if they see this "hand and glove" again, they should ask, "Who's your glover?" Yes, it would be important to obtain the name and address of such a glover, as such gloves, we may suppose, would not wear out, nor require cleaning.

An old and valued friend of mine attended a _seance_ in 1860, of which he wrote a short account, and which he keeps (in manuscript) to lend to his friends for their information and amusement, upon this subject; and although he confesses that, as a novice, he was rather startled upon one or two occasions during the evening, that the extraordinary proceeding of the _seance_ had something of a _supernatural tinge_ about it; nevertheless, upon mature reflection he came to the conclusion that the whole was a very cleverly-managed piece of trickery and imposture. As I am permitted to quote from this manuscript, I will here give a short extract to show the reader how an American medium--a Dr. _Dash_--assisted by two other "mediums," also Americans, _managed_ the spirits upon that occasion. A party of eight were seated round a table:--

"Shortly and anon, a change came o'er the spirit of the Doctor. He jumped up and said, '_Hush! I hear a spirit_ rapping at the door.'

* * * * *

"The Doctor told us there was a spirit which wished to join our _seance_, the door was opened, a chair was most politely placed at the table, and there the spirit sat, but, like 'Banquo's' Ghost, _invisible to the company_."

In the Waterloo Road there resided--next door to each other--some years back, two paperhangers, who vied with each other in doing "stencilling"--that is, rubbing colour on walls through a _cut out_ pattern; there was great opposition between them, and one of them (No. 1) wrote on the front of his house in _large_ letters, "THE ACME OF STENCILLING," upon which No. 2, determined not to be outdone in this style, wrote upon the front of his house in letters _double_ the size of his neighbour's, "THE HEIGTH OF THE ACME OF STENCILLING." Now, I do not know whether this pretended _introduction_ of an _invisible_ spirit, and putting a chair for this worse than nothing to sit in, when he had nothing to sit down upon, may be considered as the _heigth_ of the _acme_ of unprincipled, impudent imposture; but it goes far enough to show that trickery _can be and is carried on_, and carried on even as a trade or "calling" in this "spirit-rapping" business, for I have seen a printed card where a _professional_ "medium" gives his name and address, and has on it, "Circles for Spiritual Manifestation--hours from 12 to 3 and 5 to 10 P.M.;" to which is added, "Private Parties and _Families_ visited."

If such a card as this had been introduced in "The Broad Grin Jest Book," some years back, it would have been quite in place, but to think that such a card as this should be circulated in this "age of intellect," as a _business_ card--the card of a "_Maitre de Ceremonie_," who undertakes to introduce _invisible spirits_, into parties and _private families_, is something more than I ever expected to see, on the outside of Bethlem, or in the list of impostures at a police station.

As this Dr. _Dash_ pretended that spirits were "mixed up" with this party--were indeed surrounding the "circle," and who had come into the room _without knocking_, and were not _accommodated with chairs_, why should this ghost of nothing knock at the door, and how did the Dr. know that he wished to join the _seance_, and why should _this invisible_ Mr. Nobody have a chair, and the other _spirits_ be obliged to stand? And then was this spirit _dressed_ in his best? for as it was an evening party, he ought to have been "dressed with care."

The calling up of one spirit seems to call up or raise another spirit, and as Dr. _Dash_ introduced a dumb and invisible spirit who was supposed to take his seat at a table, I take this opportunity of introducing a spirit of a very different character--one of the old fashioned spirits--one that could both be seen and heard, and who was _seen_ to take his seat at the table, and enter into conversation with his friends. An extract from the "Registry of Brisley Church in 1706," runs thus:--A Mr. Grose went to see a Mr. Shaw, and whilst these gentlemen were quietly smoking their pipes, in comes (without "rapping") the ghost of their friend Mr. Naylor. They asked him to sit down, which he did, and they conversed together for about two hours; he was asked how it fared with him, he replied, "Very well," and when he seemed about to move, they asked him if he could not stay a little longer, he replied that he "could not do so, for he had only three days' leave of absence, and had other business to attend to."[7]

[7] As, according to Mrs. Crowe, ghosts can smoke, and upon equally good authority, spirits can swallow _spirits_, no doubt this ghost of Mr. Naylor, who did not come without the help of his tailor, took a pipe with his friends, and took something to _drink_ with them also, for you may _rely_ upon it, that the ghost's friends were not smoking a "_dry_ pipe."

Now this is something like a ghost, whose visit you observe is recorded in the registry of a parish church, and as the party I believe were all clergymen, of course the Rev. Mr. Naylor came in his clerical "habits as he lived," no doubt "dressed with care." Yes, this you see was a respectable sort of ghost--one that you could see and listen to, not such a poor "dummy" as Dr. _Dash's_ poor spiritless spirit, Mr. Nothing Nobody, Esq.,

Who could neither be seen nor heard, Which even to name, seems quite absurd.

The reason for thus suddenly pretending to introduce a _spirit_, was to produce an _effect_--a _sensation_--upon the nerves of the party assembled (particularly the novices), for it is only under excited nervous feelings that anything like success can attend the operations of such "mediums."

The CREATOR has so formed us that our nerves are more excitable in darkness than in the light, and our senses thus excited, are for our safety and protection, when moving about in the dark, either in-doors or out, as we feel and know, that there is a chance of our being seriously injured by running against or falling over something, or that there might be evil spirits in the shape of robbers lurking about, against whom it would be necessary to be ready to defend ourselves, or to avoid. Our faculties being thus put on the "_qui vive_," is natural, healthy, and proper; but when the mind has been imbued from childhood with a belief in ghosts, and the individual should happen to be in a dark and lonely place, and should hear or see indistinctly something which the mind on the instant is not able to account for, _naturally_, or _comprehend_ rationally, then under such circumstances, to use a common expression, "we are not ourselves," and in giving way to imaginary fears, under the impression of supernatural appearances, the stoutest hearts and the strongest men, have been known "to quiver and to quail," to be confused and to feel that thrilling sensation, that cold trickling down the back from head to heel, which is produced from fright, and nothing but the rallying of their mental and physical forces, and rousing up a determined resolution, has enabled such men to overcome this coward-like fear, and to discover that they have been scared by some natural sound, or some imperfectly-seen natural object, that it was all "a false alarm," or perhaps a made up ghost, by some fool or rogue, or both, who was playing his "tricks upon travellers."

But with weak and nervous persons, who believe in supernatural appearances, the effects of fright, under such circumstances, produce the most painful feelings, total prostration of the faculties, and sometimes fatal consequences. Here is an instance where all the faculties were prostrated by fright in consequence of seeing a supposed apparition, followed by the death of an innocent person:--

In the year 1804, the inhabitants of Hammersmith, a village situated on the west side of the metropolis, but now forming part of it, were much terrified by the appearance of, as it was said, a spectre clothed in a winding sheet. This apparition made its appearance in the dark evenings in the churchyard, and in several avenues about the place. I well remember "the Hammersmith ghost," as it was called, being the "Town Talk" of that day, and not only in Hammersmith, but even in town, many persons were afraid to leave their homes after dusk. Besides a man of the name of John Graham, who was detected, and I believe imprisoned, there were several actors in this ghostly farce, which was however brought to an end in a tragical manner--that is, by a young man of the name of Thomas Millwood, a plasterer, being shot dead by one Francis Smith, an exciseman, who at the time (as the narrator states) was rather "warm over his liquor"--that is about half drunk; and in this state he was allowed at the "White Hart" public house to load a gun with shot, and go out for the purpose of discovering the ghost, and he no sooner saw a figure in a light dress (which was the poor plasterer in his _working dress_, on his road to fetch his wife home, who had been at work all day at a house in the neighbourhood of "Black Lion Lane," where this murder was committed) than he lost the use of his faculties, and was in such a state of fright that, as he said in his defence, he "did not know what he was about," and unfortunately, under these circumstances, killed an innocent man, which he never would have done had he not been a believer in apparitions and ghosts.