Chapter 28

13. "Teach him that when he handles or excites the sexual organs all parts of the body suffer, because they are connected by nerves that run throughout the system; this is why it is called 'self-abuse.' The whole body is abused when this part of the body is handled or excited in any manner whatever. Teach them to shun all children who indulge in this loathsome habit, or all children who talk about these things. The sin is terrible, and is, in fact, worse than lying or stealing. For, although these are wicked and will ruin their souls, yet this habit of self-abuse will ruin both soul and body.

14. "If the sexual organs are handled, it brings too much blood to these parts, and this produces a diseased condition; it also causes disease in other organs of the body, because they are left with a less amount of blood than they ought to have. The sexual organs, too, are very closely connected with the spine and the brain by means of the nerves, and if they are handled, or if you keep thinking about them, these nerves get excited and become exhausted, and this makes the back ache, the brain heavy and the whole body weak.

15. "It lays the foundation for consumption, paralysis and heart disease. It weakens the memory, makes a boy careless, negligent and listless. It even makes many lose their minds; others, when grown, commit suicide. How often mothers see their little boys handling themselves, and let it pass, because they think the boy will outgrow the habit, and do not realize the strong hold it has upon them. I say to you who love your boys 'Watch!'

16. "Don't think it does no harm to your boy because he does not suffer now, for the effects of this vice come on so slowly that the victim is often very near death before you realize that he has done himself harm. The boy with no knowledge of the consequences, and with no one to warn him, finds momentary pleasure in its practice, and so contracts a habit which grows upon him, undermining his health, poisoning his mind, arresting his development, and laying the foundation for future misery.

17. "Do not read this book and forget it, for it contains earnest and living truths. Do not let false modesty stand in your way, but from this time on keep this thought in mind 'the saving of your boy.' Follow its teachings and you will bless God as long as you live. Read it to your neighbors, who, like yourself, have growing boys, and urge them for the sake of humanity to heed its advice.

18. "Right here we want to emphasize the importance of _cleanliness_. We verily believe that oftentimes these habits originate in a burning and irritating sensation about the organs, caused by a want of thorough washing.

19. "It is worthy of note that many eminent physicians now advocate the custom of circumcision, claiming that the removal of a little of the foreskin induces cleanliness, thus preventing the irritation and excitement which come from the gathering of the whiteish matter under the foreskin at the beginning of the glands. This irritation being removed, the boy is less apt to tamper with his sexual organs. The argument seems a good one, especially when we call to mind the high physical state of those people who have practiced the custom.

20. "Happy is the mother who can feel she has done her duty, in this direction, while her boy is still a child. For those mothers, though, whose little boys have now grown to boyhood with the evil still upon them, and _you_, through ignorance, permitted it, we would say, 'Begin at once; it is never too late.' If he has not lost all will power, he can be saved. Let him go in confidence to a reputable physician and follow his advice. Simple diet, plentiful exercise in open air and congenial employment will do much. Do not let the mind dwell upon evil thoughts, shun evil companions, avoid vulgar stories, sensational novels, and keep the thoughts pure.

21. "Let him interest himself in social and benevolent affairs, participate in Sunday-school work, farmers' clubs, or any organizations which tend to elevate and inspire noble sentiment. Let us remember that 'a perfect man is the noblest work of God.' God has given us a life which is to last forever, and the little time we spend on earth is as nothing to the ages which we are to spend in the world beyond; so our earthly life is a very important part of our existence, for it is here that the foundation is laid for either happiness or misery in the future. It is here that we decide our destiny, and our efforts to know and obey God's laws in our bodies as well as in our souls will not only bring blessings to us in this life, but never-ending happiness throughout eternity."

22. A QUESTION. How can a father chew and smoke tobacco, drink and swear, use vulgar language, tell obscene stories, and raise a family of pure, clean-minded children? LET THE ECHO ANSWER.

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THE INHUMANITIES OF PARENTS.

1. Not long ago a Presbyterian minister in Western New York whipped his three-year-old boy to death for refusing to say his prayers. The little fingers were broken; the tender flesh was bruised and actually mangled; strong men wept when they looked on the lifeless body. Think of a strong man from one hundred and fifty to two hundred pounds in weight, pouncing upon a little child, like a Tiger upon a Lamb, and with his strong arm inflicting physical blows on the delicate tissues of a child's body. See its frail and trembling flesh quiver and its tender nervous organization shaking with terror and fear.

2. How often is this the case in the punishment of children all over this broad land! Death is not often the immediate consequence of this brutality as in the above stated case, but the punishment is often as unjust, and the physical constitution of children is often ruined and the mind by fright seriously injured.

3. Everyone knows the sudden sense of pain, and sometimes dizziness and nausea follow, as the results of an accidental hitting of the ankle, knee or elbow against a hard substance, and involuntary tears are brought to the eyes; but what is such a pain as this compared with the pains of a dozen or more quick blows on the body of a little helpless child from the strong arm of a parent in a passion? Add to this overwhelming terror of fright, the strangulating effects of sighing and shrieking, and you have a complete picture of child-torture.

4. Who has not often seen a child receive, within an hour or two of the first whipping, a second one, for some small ebullition of nervous irritability, which was simply inevitable from its spent and worn condition?

5. Would not all mankind cry out at the inhumanity of one who, as things are to-day, should propose the substitution of pricking or cutting or burning for whipping? It would, however, be easy to show that small jabs or pricks or cuts are more human than the blows many children receive. Why may not lying be as legitimately cured by blisters made with hot coals as by black and blue spots made with a ruler or whip? The principle is the same; and if the principle is right, why not multiply methods?

6. How many loving mothers will, without any thought of cruelty, inflict half a dozen quick blows on the little hand of her child and when she could no more take a pin and make the same number of thrusts into the tender flesh, than she could bind the baby on a rack. Yet the pin-thrust would hurt far less, and would probably make a deeper impression on the child's mind.

7. We do not intend to be understood that a child must have everything that it desires and every whim and wish to receive special recognition by the parents. Children can soon be made to understand the necessity of obedience, and punishment can easily be brought about by teaching them self-denial. Deny them the use of a certain plaything, deny them the privilege of visiting certain of their little friends, deny them the privilege of the table, etc., and these self-denials can be applied according to the age and condition of the child, with firmness and without any yielding. Children will soon learn obedience if they see the parents are sincere. Lessons of home government can be learned by the children at home as well as they can learn lessons at school.

8. The trouble is, many parents need more government, more training and more discipline than the little ones under their control.

9. Scores of times during the day a child is told in a short, authoritative way to do or not to do certain little things, which we ask at the hands of elder persons as favors. When we speak to an elder person, we say, would you be so kind as to close the door, when the same person making the request of a child will say, _"Shut the door."_ _"Bring me the chair."_ _"Stop that noise."_ _"Sit down there."_ Whereas, if the same kindness was used towards the child it would soon learn to imitate the example.

10. On the other hand, let a child ask for anything without saying "please," receive anything without saying "thank you," it suffers a rebuke and a look of scorn at once. Often a child insists on having a book, chair or apple to the inconveniencing of an elder, and what an outcry is raised: "Such rudeness;" "Such an ill-mannered child;" "His parents must have neglected him strangely." Not at all: The parents may have been steadily telling him a great many times every day not to do these precise things which you dislike. But they themselves have been all the time doing those very things before him, and there is no proverb that strikes a truer balance between two things than the old one which weighs example over against precept.

11. It is a bad policy to be rude to children. A child will win and be won, and in a long run the chances are that the child will have better manners than its parents. Give them a good example and take pains in teaching them lessons of obedience and propriety, and there will be little difficulty in raising a family of beautiful and well-behaved children.

12. Never correct a child in the presence of others; it is a rudeness to the child that will soon destroy its self-respect. It is the way criminals are made and should always and everywhere be condemned.

13. But there are no words to say what we are or what we deserve if we do this to the little children whom we have dared for our own pleasure to bring into the perils of this life, and whose whole future may be blighted by the mistakes of our careless hands. There are thousands of young men and women to-day groaning under the penalties and burdens of life, who owe their misfortunes, their shipwreck and ruin to the ignorance or indifference of parents.

14. Parents of course love their children, but with that love there is a responsibility that cannot be shirked. The government and training of children is a study that demands a parent's time and attention often much more than the claims of business.

15. Parents, study the problems that come up every day in your home. Remember, your future happiness, and the future welfare of your children, depend upon it.

16. CRIMINALS AND HEREDITY. Wm. M.F. Round was for many years in charge of the House of Refuge on Randall's Island, New York, and his opportunities for observation in the work among criminals surely make him a competent judge, and he says in his letter to the New York Observer: "Among this large number of young offenders I can state with entire confidence that not one per cent. were children born of criminal parents; and with equal confidence I am able to say that the common cause of their delinquency was found in bad parental training, in bad companionship, and in lack of wholesome restraint from evil associations and influences. It was this knowledge that led to the establishing of the House of Refuge nearly three-quarters of a century ago."

17. BAD TRAINING. Thus it is seen from one of the best authorities in the United States that criminals are made either by the indifference or the neglect of parents, or both, or by too much training without proper judgment and knowledge. Give your children a good example, and never tell a child to do something and then become indifferent as to whether they do it or not. A child should never be told twice to do the same thing. Teach the child in childhood obedience and never vary from that rule. Do it kindly but firmly.

18. IF YOUR CHILDREN DO NOT OBEY OR RESPECT YOU in their childhood and youth, how can you expect to govern them when older and shape their character for future usefulness and good citizenship?

19. THE FUNDAMENTAL RULE. Never tell a child twice to do the same thing. Command the respect of your children, and there will be no question as to obedience.

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CHASTITY AND PURITY OF CHARACTER.

1. CHASTITY is the purest and brightest jewel in human character. Dr. Pierce in his widely known _Medical Adviser_ says: For the full and perfect development of mankind, both mental and physical, chastity is necessary. The health demands abstinence from unlawful intercourse. Therefore children should be instructed to avoid all impure works of fiction, which tend to inflame the mind and excite the passions. Only in total abstinence from illicit pleasures is there safety, morals, and health, while integrity, peace and happiness are the conscious rewards of virtue. Impurity travels downward with intemperance, obscenity and corrupting diseases, to degradation and death. A dissolute, licentious, free-and-easy life is filled with the dregs of human suffering, iniquity and despair. The penalties which follow a violation of the law of chastity are found to be severe and swiftly retributive.

2. THE UNION of the sexes in holy Matrimony is a law of nature, finding sanction in both morals and legislation. Even some of the lower animals unite in this union for life and instinctively observe the law of conjugal fidelity with a consistency which might put to blush other animals more highly endowed. It seems important to discuss this subject and understand our social evils, as well as the intense passional desires of the sexes, which must be controlled, or they lead to ruin.

3. SEXUAL PROPENSITIES are possessed by all, and these must be held in abeyance, until they are needed for legitimate purposes. Hence parents ought to understand the value to their children of mental and physical labor, to elevate and strengthen the intellectual and moral faculties, to develop the muscular system and direct the energies of the blood into healthful channels. Vigorous employment of mind and body engrosses the vital energies and diverts them from undue excitement of the sexual desires.

_Give your young people plenty of outdoor amusement; less of dancing and more of croquet and lawn tennis. Stimulate the methods of pure thoughts in innocent amusement, and your sons and daughters will mature to manhood and womanhood pure and chaste in character._

4. IGNORANCE DOES NOT MEAN INNOCENCE.--It is a current idea, especially among our good common people, that the child should be kept in ignorance regarding the mystery of his own body and how he was created or came into the world. This is a great mistake. Parents must know that the sources of social impurity are great, and the child is a hundred times more liable to have his young mind poisoned if entirely ignorant of the functions of his nature than if judiciously enlightened on these important truths by the parent. The parent must give him weapons of defense against the putrid corruption he is sure to meet outside the parental roof. The child cannot get through the A, B, C period of school without it.

5. CONFLICTING VIEWS.--There is a great difference of opinion regarding the age at which the child should be taught the mysteries of nature: some maintain that he cannot comprehend the subject before the age of puberty; others say "they will find it out soon enough, it is not best to have them over-wise while they are so young. Wait a while." That is just the point (_they will find it out_), and we ask in all candor, is it not better that they learn it from the pure loving mother, untarnished from any insinuating remark, than that they should learn it from some foul-mouthed libertine on the street, or some giddy girl at school? Mothers! fathers! which think you is the most sensible and fraught with the least danger to your darling boy or girl?

6. DELAY IS FRAUGHT WITH DANGER.--Knowledge on a subject so vitally connected with moral health must not be deferred. It is safe to say that no child, no boy at least in these days of excitement and unrest, reaches the age of ten years without getting some idea of nature's laws regarding parenthood. And ninety-nine chances to one, those ideas will be vile and pernicious unless they come from a wise, loving and pure parent. Now, we entreat you, parents, mothers! do not wait; begin before a false notion has had chance to find lodgment in the childish mind. But remember this is a lesson of life, it cannot be told in one chapter, it is as important as the lessons of love and duty.

7. THE FIRST LESSONS.--Should you be asked by your four or five-year old, "Mamma, where did you get me?" Instead of saying, "The doctor brought you," or "God made you and a stork brought you from Babyland on his back," tell him the truth as you would about any ordinary question. One mother's explanation was something like this: "My dear, you were not made any more than apples are made, or the little chickens are made. Your dolly was made, but it has no life like you have. God has provided that all living things such as plants, trees, little chickens, little kittens, little babies, etc., should grow from seeds or little tiny eggs. Apples grow, little chickens grow, little babies grow. Apple and peach trees grow from seeds that are planted in the ground, and the apples and peaches grow on the trees. Baby chickens grow inside the eggs that are kept warm by the mother hen for a certain time. Baby boys and girls do not grow inside an egg, but they start to grow inside of a snug warm nest, from an egg that is so small you cannot see it with just your eye." This was not given at once, but from time to time as the child asked questions and in the simplest language, with many illustrations from plant and animal life. It may have occupied months, but in time the lesson was fully understood.

8. THE SECOND LESSON.--The second lesson came with the question, "But _where_ is the nest?" The ice is now broken, as it were; it was an easy matter for the mother to say, "The nest in which you grew, dear, was close to your mother's heart inside her body. All things that do not grow inside the egg itself, and which are kept warm by the mother's body, begin to grow from the egg in a nest inside the mother's body." It may be that this mother had access to illustrations of the babe in the womb which were shown and explained to the child, a boy. He was pleased and satisfied with the explanations. It meant nothing out of the ordinary any more than a primary lesson on the circulatory system did, it was knowledge on nature in its purity and simplicity taught by mother, and hence caused no surprise. The subject of the male and female generative organs came later; the greatest pains and care was taken to make it clear, the little boy was taught that the _sexual organs_ were made for a high and holy purpose, that their office at present is only to carry off impurities from the system in the fluid form called urine, and that he must never handle his _sexual organs_ nor touch them in any way except to keep them clean, and if he does this, he will grow up a bright, happy and healthy boy. But if he excites or _abuses_ them, he will become puny, sickly and unhappy. All this was explained in language pure and simple. There is now in the boy a sturdy base of character building along the line of virtue and purity through knowledge.

9. SILLY DIRTY TRASH.--But I hear some mother say "Such silly dirty trash to tell a child!" It is not dirty nor silly; it is nature's untarnished truth. God has ordained that children should thus be brought into the world, do you call the works of God silly? Remember, kind mother, and don't forget it, if you fail to teach your children, boys or girls, these important lessons early in life, they will learn them from other sources, perhaps long ere you dream of it, and ninety-nine times out of one hundred they will get improper, perverted, impure and vile ideas of these important truths; besides you nave lost their confidence and you will never regain it in these matters. They will never come to mamma for information on these subjects. And, think you, that your son and daughter, later in life will make you their confidant as they ought? Will your beautiful daughter hand the first letters she receives from her lover to mamma to read, and seek her counsel and advice when she replies to them? Will she ask mamma whether it is ever proper to sit in her lover's lap? I think not; you have blighted her confidence and alienated her affections. You have kept knowledge from her that she had a right to know; you even failed to teach her the important truths of menstruation. Troubled and excited at the first menstrual flow, she dashed her feet in cold water hoping to stop the flow. You know the results she is now twenty-five but is suffering from it to this day. You, her mother, over fastidious, _so very nice_ you would never mention "_such silly trash_" but by your consummate foolishness and mock modesty you have ruined your daughter's health, and though in later years she may forgive you, yet she can never love and respect you as she ought.

10. "KNOWLEDGE THE PRESERVER OF PURITY."--Laura E. Scammon, writing on this subject, in the Arena of November, 1893, says: "When questions arise that can not be answered by observation, reply to each as simply and directly as you answer questions upon other subjects, giving scientific names and facts, and such explanations as are suited to the comprehension of the child. Treat nature and her laws always with serious, respectful attention. Treat the holy mysteries of parenthood reverently, never losing sight of the great law upon which are founded all others the law of love. Say it and sing it, play it and pray it into the soul of your child, that _love is lord of all_."

11. CONCLUSION OF THE WHOLE MATTER.--Observation and common sense should teach every parent that lack of knowledge on these subjects and proper counsel and advice in later years is the main cause of so many charming girls being seduced and led astray, and so many bright promising boys wrecked by _self-abuse or social impurity_. Make your children your confidants early in life, especially in these things, have frequent talks with them on nature, and you will never, other things being equal, mourn over a ruined daughter or a wreckless, debased son.

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EXCITING THE PASSIONS IN CHILDREN.

1. CONVERSATION BEFORE CHILDREN.--The conduct and conversation of adults before children and youth, how often have I blushed with shame, and kindled with indignation at the conversation of parents, and especially of mothers, to their children: "John, go and kiss Harriet, for she is your sweet-heart." Well may shame make him hesitate and hang his head. "Why, John, I did not think you so great a coward. Afraid of the girls, are you? That will never do. Come, go along, and hug and kiss her. There, that's a man. I guess you will love the girls yet." Continually is he teased about the girls and being in love, till he really selects a sweet-heart.