Part 9

2. Do you love him because he is a man, and therefore, no matter how weak mentally, morally or physically he may {124} be, he has vested in him the power to save you from the ignominy of an old maid's existence? Because you would rather be Mrs. Nobody, than make the effort to be Miss Somebody? because you have a great empty place in your head and heart that nothing but a man can fill? because you feel you cannot live without him? God grant the time may never come when you cannot live with him.

3. Do you love her because she is a thoroughly womanly woman; for her tender sympathetic nature; for the jewels of her life, which are absolute purity of mind and heart; for the sweet sincerity of her disposition; for her loving, charitable thought; for her strength of character? because she is pitiful to the sinful, tender to the sorrowful, capable, self-reliant, modest, true-hearted? in brief, because she is the embodiment of all womanly virtues?

4. Do you love him because he is a manly man; because the living and operating principle of his life is a tender reverence for all women; because his love is the overflow of the best part of his nature; because he has never soiled his soul with an unholy act or his lips with an oath; because mentally he is a man among men; because physically he stands head and shoulders above the masses; because morally he is far beyond suspicion, in his thought, word or deed; because his earnest manly consecrated life is a mighty power on God's side?

5. But there always has been and always will be unhappy marriages until men learn what husbandhood means; how to care for that tenderly matured, delicately constituted being, that he takes into his care and keeping. That if her wonderful adjusted organism is overtaxed and overburdened, her happiness, which is largely dependent upon her health, is destroyed.

6. Until men give the women they marry the undivided love of their heart; until constancy is the key-note of a life which speaks eloquently of clean thoughts and clean hearts.

7. Until men and women recognize that self-control in a man, and modesty in a woman, will bring a mutual respect that years of wedded life will only strengthen. Until they recognize that love is the purest and holiest of all things known to humanity, will marriage continue to bring unhappiness and discontent, instead of that comfort and restful peace which all loyal souls have a right to expect and enjoy.

8. Be sensible and marry a sensible, honest and industrious companion, and happiness through life will be your reward.

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What Women Love in Men.

1. Women naturally love courage, force and firmness in men. The ideal man in a woman's eye must be heroic and brave. Woman naturally despises a coward, and she has little or no respect for a bashful man.

2. Woman naturally loves her lord and master. Women who desperately object to be overruled, nevertheless admire men who overrule them, and few women would have any respect for a man whom they could completely rule and control.

3. Man is naturally the protector of woman; as the male wild animal of the forest protects the female, so it is natural for man to protect his wife and children, and therefore woman admires those qualities in a man which make him a protector.

4. LARGE MEN.--Women naturally love men of strength, size and fine physique, a tall, large and strong man rather than a short, small and weak man. A woman always pities a weakly man, but rarely ever has any love for him.

5. SMALL AND WEAKLY MEN.--All men would be of good size in frame and flesh, were it not for the infirmities visited upon them by the indiscretion of parents and ancestors of generations before.

6. YOUTHFUL SEXUAL EXCITEMENT.--There are many children born healthy and vigorous who destroy the full vigor of their generative organs in youth by self-abuse, and if they survive and marry, their children will have small bones, small frames and sickly constitutions. It is therefore not strange that instinct should lead women to admire men not touched with these symptoms of physical debility.

7. GENEROSITY.--Woman generally loves a generous man. Religion absorbs a great amount of money in temples, churches, ministerial salaries, etc., and ambition and appetite absorb countless millions, yet woman receives more gifts from man than all these combined: she {127} loves a generous giver. _Generosity and Gallantry_ are the jewels which she most admires. A woman receiving presents from a man implies that she will pay him back in love, and the woman who accepts a man's presents, and does not respect him, commits a wrong which is rarely ever forgiven.

8. INTELLIGENCE.--Above all other qualities in man, woman admires his intelligence. Intelligence is man's woman-captivating card. This character in woman is illustrated by an English army officer, as told by O. S. Fowler, betrothed in marriage to a beautiful, loving heiress, summoned to India, who wrote back to her:

"I have lost an eye, a leg, an arm, and been so badly marred and begrimmed besides, that you never could love this poor, maimed soldier. Yet, I love you too well to make your life wretched by requiring you to keep your marriage-vow with me, from which I hereby release you. Find among English peers one physically more perfect, whom you can love better."

She answered, as all genuine women must answer:

"Your noble mind, your splendid talents, your martial prowess which maimed you, are what I love. As long as you retain sufficient body to contain the casket of your soul, which alone is what I admire, I love you all the same, and long to make you mine forever."

9. SOFT MEN.--All women despise soft and silly men more than all other defects in their character. Woman never can love a man whose conversation is flat and insipid. Every man seeking woman's appreciation or love should always endeavor to show his intelligence and manifest an interest in books and daily papers. He should read books and inform himself so that he can talk intelligently upon the various topics of the day. Even an ignorant woman always loves superior intelligence.

10. SEXUAL VIGOR.--Women love sexual vigor in men. This is human nature. Weakly and delicate fathers have weak and puny children, though the mother may be strong and robust. A weak mother often bears strong children, if the father is physically and sexually vigorous. Consumption is often inherited from fathers, because they furnish the body, yet more women die with it because of female obstructions. Hence women love passion in men, because it endows their offspring with strong functional vigor.

11. PASSIONATE MEN.--The less passion any woman possesses, the more she prizes a strong passionate man. This is a natural consequence, for if she married one equally {128} passionless, their children would be poorly endowed or they would have none; she therefore admires him who makes up the deficiency. Hence very amorous men prefer quiet, modest and reserved women.

12. HOMELY MEN are admired by women if they are large, strong and vigorous and possess a good degree of intelligence. Looks are trifles compared with the other qualities which man may possess.

13. YOUNG MAN, If you desire to win the love and admiration of young ladies, first, be intelligent; read books and papers; remember what you read, so you can talk about it. Second, be generous and do not show a stingy and penurious disposition when in the company of ladies. Third, be sensible, original, and have opinions of your own and do not agree with everything that someone else says, or agree with everything that a lady may say. Ladies naturally admire genteel and intelligent discussions and conversations when there is someone to talk with who has an opinion of his own. Woman despises a man who has no opinion of his own; she hates a trifling disposition and admires leadership, original ideas, and looks up to man as a leader. Women despise all men whom they can manage, overrule, cow-down and subdue.

14. BE SELF-SUPPORTING.--The young man who gives evidence of thrift is always in demand. Be enthusiastic and drive with success all that you undertake. A young man, sober, honest and industrious, holding a responsible position or having a business of his own, is a prize that some bright and beautiful young lady would like to draw. Woman admires a certainty.

15. UNIFORMED MEN.--It is a well known fact that women love uniformed men. The soldier figures as a hero in about every tale of fiction and it is said by good authority that a man in uniform has three more chances to marry than the man without uniform. The correct reason is, the soldier's profession is bravery, and he is dressed and trained for that purpose, and it is that which makes him admired by ladies rather than the uniform which he wears. His profession is also that of a protector.

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KATE SHELLEY The Heroine of Honey Creek, who July 6, 1881, crept across the trembling bridge in the darkness of a terrific storm, and stopped the approaching Passenger Train.

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What Men Love in Women.

1. FEMALE BEAUTY.--Men love beautiful women, for woman's beauty is the highest type of all beauty. A handsome woman needs no diamonds, no silks or satins; her brilliant face outshines diamonds and her form is beautiful in calico.

2. FALSE BEAUTIFIERS.--Man's love of female beauty surpasses all other love, and whatever artificial means are used to beautify, to a certain extent are falsehoods which lead to distrust or dislike. Artificial beauty is always an imitation, and never can come into competition with the genuine. No art can successfully imitate nature.

3. TRUE KIND OF BEAUTY.--Facial beauty is only skin-deep. A beautiful form, a graceful figure, graceful movements and a kind heart are the strongest charms in the perfection of female beauty. A brilliant face always outshines what may be called a pretty face, for intelligence is that queenly grace which crowns woman's influence over men. Good looks and good and pure conduct awaken a man's love for women. A girl must therefore be charming as well {130} as beautiful, for a charming girl will never become a charmless wife.

4. A GOOD FEMALE BODY.--No weakly, poor-bodied woman can draw a man's love like a strong, well developed body. A round, plump figure with an overflow of animal life is the woman most commonly sought, for nature in man craves for the strong qualities in women, as the health and life of offspring depend upon the physical qualities of wife and mother. A good body and vigorous health, therefore, become indispensable to female beauty.

5. BROAD HIPS.--A woman with a large pelvis gives her a superior and significant appearance, while a narrow pelvis always indicate weak sexuality. The other portions of the body however must be in harmony with the size and breadth of the hips.

6. FULL BUSTS.--In the female beauty of physical development there is nothing that can equal full breasts. It is an indication of good health and good maternal qualities. As a face looks bad without a nose, so the female breast, when narrow and flat, produces a bad effect. The female breasts are the means on which a new-born child depends for its life and growth, hence it is an essential human instinct for men to admire those physical proportions in women which indicate perfect motherhood. Cotton and all other false forms simply show the value of natural ones. All false forms are easily detected, because large natural ones will generally quiver and move at every step, while the artificial ones will manifest no expression of life. As woman looks so much better with artificial paddings and puffings than she does without, therefore modern society should waive all objections to their use. A full breast has been man's admiration through all climes and ages, and whether this breast-loving instinct is right or wrong, sensible or sensual, it is a fact well known to all, that it is a great disappointment to a husband and father to see his child brought up on a bottle. Men love full breasts, because it promotes maternity. If, however, the breasts are abnormally large, it indicates maternal deficiency the same as any disproportion or extreme.

7. SMALL FEET.--Small feet and small ankles are very attractive, because they are in harmony with a perfect female form, and men admire perfection. Small feet and ankles indicate modesty and reserve, while large feet and ankles indicate coarseness, physical power, authority, predominance. Feet and ankles however must be in harmony with the body, as small feet and small ankles on a large woman would be out of proportion and consequently not beautiful. {131}

8. BEAUTIFUL ARMS.--As the arm is always in proportion with the other portions of the body, consequently a well-shaped arm, small hands and small wrists, with full muscular development, is a charm and beauty not inferior to the face itself, and those who have well-shaped arms may be proud of them, because they generally keep company with a fine bust and a fine figure.

9. INTELLIGENCE.--A mother must naturally possess intelligence, in order to rear her children intelligently, consequently it is natural for man to chiefly admire mental qualities in women, for utility and practicability depend upon intelligence. Therefore a man generally loves those charms in women which prepare her for the duties of companionship. If a woman desires to be loved, she must cultivate her intellectual gifts, be interesting and entertaining in society, and practical and helpful in the home, for these are some of the qualifications which make up the highest type of beauty.

10. PIETY AND RELIGION IN WOMEN.--Men who love home and the companionship of their wives, love truth, honor and honesty. It is this higher moral development that naturally leads them to admire women of moral and religious natures. It is therefore not strange that immoral men love moral and church-loving wives. Man naturally admires the qualities which tend to the correct government of the home. Men want good and pure children, and it is natural to select women who insure domestic contentment and happiness. A bad man, of course, does not deserve a good wife, yet he will do his utmost to get one.

11. FALSE APPEARANCE.--Men love reserved, coy and discreet women much more than blunt, shrewd and boisterous. Falsehood, false hair, false curls, false forms, false bosoms, false colors, false cheeks, and all that is false, men naturally dislike, for in themselves they are a poor foundation on which to form family ties, consequently duplicity and hypocrisy in women is very much disliked by men, but a frank, honest, conscientious soul is always lovable and lovely and will not become an old maid, except as a matter of choice and not of necessity.

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History of Marriage.

1. "It is not good for man to be alone," was the Divine judgment, and so God created for him an helpmate; therefore sex is as Divine as the soul. {133}

2. POLYGAMY.--Polygamy has existed in all ages. It is and always has been the result of moral degradation and wantonness.

3. THE GARDEN OF EDEN.--The Garden of Eden was no harem. Primeval nature knew no community of love; there was only the union of two souls, and the twain were made one flesh. If God had intended man to be a polygamist he would have created for him two or more wives; but he only created one wife for the first man. He also directed Noah to take into the ark two of each sort--a male and female--another evidence that God believed in pairs only.

4. ABRAHAM no doubt was a polygamist, and the general history of patriarchal life shows that the plurality of wives and concubinage were national customs, and not the institutions authorized by God.

5. EGYPTIAN HISTORY.--Egyptian history, in the first ostensible form we have, shows that concubinage and polygamy were in common practice.

6. SOLOMON.--It is not strange that Solomon, with his thousand wives, exclaimed: "All is vanity and vexation of spirit." Polygamy is not the natural state of man.

7. CONCUBINAGE AND POLYGAMY continued till the fifth century, when the degraded condition of woman became to some extent matters of some concern and recognition. Before this woman was regarded simply as an instrument of procreation, or a mistress of the household, to gratify the passions of man.

8. THE CHINESE marriage system was, and is, practically polygamous, for from their earliest traditions we learn, although a man could have but one wife, he was permitted to have as many concubines as he desired.

9. MOHAMMEDANISM.--Of the 150,000,000 Mohammedans all are polygamists. Their religion appeals to the luxury of animal propensities, and the voluptuous character of the Orientals has penetrated western Europe and Africa.

10. MORMONISM.--The Mormon Church, founded by Joseph Smith, practiced polygamy until the beginning of 1893, when the church formally declared and resigned polygamy as a part or present doctrine of their religious institution. Yet all Mormons are polygamists at heart. It is a part of their religion; national law alone restrains them.

11. FREE LOVERS.--There is located at Lenox, Madison County, New York, an organization popularly known as Free Lovers. The members advocate a system of complex marriage, a sort of promiscuity, with a freedom of love for {134} any and all. Man offers woman support and love, woman enjoying freedom, self-respect, health, personal and mental competency, gives herself to man in the boundless sincerity of an unselfish union. In their system, love is made synonymous with sexuality, and there is no doubt but what woman is only a plaything to gratify animal caprice.

12. MONOGAMY (SINGLE WIFE), is a law of nature evident from the fact that it fulfills the three essential conditions of man, viz.: the development of the individual, the welfare of society and reproduction. In no nation with a system of polygamy do we find a code of political and moral rights, and the condition of woman is that of a slave. In polygamous countries nothing is added to the education and civilization. The natural tendency is sensualism, and sensualism tends to mental starvation.

13. CHRISTIAN CIVILIZATION has lifted woman from slavery to liberty. Wherever Christian civilization prevails there are legal marriages, pure homes and education. May God bless the purity of the home.

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Marriage.

"Thus grief still treads upon the heel of pleasure, Married in haste we may repent at leisure."--SHAKSPEARE.

The parties are wedded. The priest or clergyman has pronounced as one those hearts that before beat in unison with each other. The assembled guests congratulate the happy pair. The fair bride has left her dear mother bedewed with tears and sobbing just as if her heart would break, and as if the happy bridegroom was leading her away captive against her will. They enter the carriage. It drives off on the wedding tour, and his arms encircles the yielding waist of her now all his own, while her head reclines on the breast of the man of her choice. If she be young and has married an old man, she will be sad. If she has married for a home, or position, or wealth, a pang will shoot across her fair bosom. If she has married without due consideration or on too light an acquaintance, it will be her sorrow before long. But, if loving and beloved, she has united her destiny with a worthy man, she will rejoice, and on her journey feel a glow of satisfaction and delight unfelt before and which will be often renewed, and daily prove as the living waters from some perennial spring.

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The Advantages of Wedlock.

'Tis sweet to hear the watch-dog's honest bark, Bay deep-mouthed welcome as we draw near home; 'Tis sweet to know there is an eye will mark Our coming, and look brighter when we come.--BYRON, DON JUAN.

1. Marriage is the natural state of man and woman. Matrimony greatly contributes to the wealth and health of man.

2. Circumstances may compel a man not to select a companion until late in life. Many may have parents or relatives, dependent brothers and sisters to care for, yet family {136} ties are cultivated, notwithstanding the home is without a wife.

3. In Christian countries the laws of marriage have greatly added to the health of man. Marriage in barbarous countries, where little or no marriage ceremonies are required, benefits man but little. There can be no true domestic blessedness without loyalty and love for the select and married companion. All the licentiousness and lust of a libertine, whether civilized or uncivilized, bring him only unrest and premature decay.

4. A man, however, may be married and not mated, and consequently reap trouble and unhappiness. A young couple should first carefully learn each other by making the courtship a matter of business, and sufficiently long that the disposition and temper of each may be thoroughly exposed and understood.

5. First see that there is love; secondly, that there is adaptation; thirdly, see that there are no physical defects; and if these conditions are properly considered, cupid will go with you.

6. The happiest place on all earth is home. A loving wife and lovely children are jewels without price, as Payne says:

"'Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam, Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home."

7. Reciprocated love produces a general exhilaration of the system. The elasticity of the muscles is increased, the circulation is quickened, and every bodily function is stimulated to renewed activity by a happy marriage.

8. The consummation desired by all who experience this affection, is the union of souls in a true marriage. Whatever of beauty or romance there may have been in the lover's dream, is enhanced and spiritualized in the intimate communion of married life. The crown of wifehood and maternity is purer, more divine than that of the maiden. Passion is lost--emotions predominate.

9. TOO EARLY MARRIAGES.--Too early marriage is always bad for the female. If a young girl marries, her system is weakened and a full development of her body is prevented, and the dangers of confinement are considerably increased.

10. Boys who marry young derive but little enjoyment from the connubial state. They are liable to excesses and thereby lose much of the vitality and power of strength and physical endurance.

11. LONG LIFE.--Statistics show that married men live longer than bachelors. Child-bearing for women is conducive to longevity.

{137} 12. COMPLEXION.--Marriage purifies the complexion, removes blotches from the skin, invigorates the body, fills up the tones of the voice, gives elasticity and firmness to the step, and brings health and contentment to old age.

13. TEMPTATIONS REMOVED.--Marriage sanctifies a home, while adultery and libertinism produce unrest, distrust and misery. It must be remembered that a married man can practice the most absolute continence and enjoy a far better state of health than the licentious man. The comforts of companionship develop purity and give rest to the soul.