Part 5

In Sanct Androis on Whitsoun Monnunday Twa campionis thair manheid did assay, Past to the barres, enarmit heid and handis. Was never sene sic justing in no landis. In presence of the Kingis Grace, and Quene, Quhare mony lustie lady mycht be sene, Mony ane knicht, barroun, and banrent[281], Come for to se that awfull Tornament. The ane of thame was gentill James Watsoun, And Jhone Barbour the uther campioun. Unto the King thay wer familiaris, And of his chalmer boith cubicularis. James was ane man of greit intelligence, Ane medicinar[282] ful of experience; And Jhone Barbour, he was ane nobill leche[283], Crukit carlinnis, he wald gar[284] thame get speche. From tyme thay enterit war into the feild Full womanlie thay weildit speir and scheild, And wichtlie waiffit[285] in the wynd thair heillis, Hobland lyke cadgeris[286] rydand on thair creillis; But ather ran at uther with sic haist That they could never thair speir get in the reist. Quhen gentill James trowit best with Jhone to meit, His speir did fald among his horsis feit: I am richt sure gude James had bene undone, War nocht that Jhone his marke tuke be the mone. Quod Jhone, “Howbeit thou thinkis my leggis lyke rokkis[287], My speir is gude; now keip ye fra my knokkis.” “Tary,” quod James, “ane quhyle, for be my thrift[288] The feind ane thing I can se bot the lift[289].” “No more can I,” quod Jhone, “be Goddis breid[290], I see na-thing except the steipill heid. Yit, thocht thy braunis be lyk twa barrow-trammis, Defend thee, man!” Than ran thay to, lyk rammis. At that rude rink[291] James had bene strykin down War nocht that Jhone for feirsnes fell in swoun; And rycht sa James to Jhone had done greit deir[292], Wer not amangis his hors feit he brak his speir. Quod James to Jhone, “Yit for our ladyis saikis, Lat us togidder straik three market straikis[293].” “I had,” quod Jhone, “that sall on thee be wrokin[294]!” Bot or[295] he spurrit his hors his speir was brokin. From tyme with speiris nane could his marrow[296] meit James drew ane swerd with ane richt awfull spreit, And ran til Jhone, til haif raucht him ane rout[297]. Johnis swerd was roustit, and wald no way cam out. Than James leit dryfe at Jhone with boith his fistis. He mist the man, and dang[298] upon the lystis; And with that straik he trowit that Jhone was slane. His swerd stak fast, and gat it never agane. Be this, gude Jhone had gottin furth his sword, And ran to James with mony awfull word. “My furiousness, for suith[299], now sall thou find!” Straikand at James his swerd flew in the wind. Than gentill James began to crack[300] greit wordis. “Allace!” quod he, “this day for falt of swordis.” Than ather ran at uther with new raicis, With gluifis[301] of plait thay dang at utheris facis. Quha wan this feild na creature culd ken[302], Till at the last Johne cryit, “Fy! red[303] the men.” “Yea! red,” quod James, “for that is my desyre; It is ane hour sen I began to tyre.” Sone be[304] thay had endit that royall rink, Into the feild micht no man stand for stink. Than every man, that stude on far, cryit, Fy! Sayand adew; for dirt partis company. Thair hors, harnis, and all geir[305], wes so gude, Lovyng[306] to God! that day was sched no blude.

QUOD LYNDESAY, AT COMMAND OF KING JAMES THE FYFT.

[280] This burlesque is said to have been written for the entertainment of the court upon occasion of the home-coming of Mary of Loraine in 1538. As the “Dreme” had been a political satire, and the “Testament of the Papyngo” a satire upon church abuses, this, like the “Contemptioun of Syde Taillis,” was a satire on a social fashion. Chalmers mentions an anterior English poem, “The Turnament of Tottenham, or the wooing, winning, and wedding of Tibbe, the Reeve’s daughter,” printed in Percy’s _Reliques_, as a similar burlesque upon the custom of the tourney; but an example nearer home is to found in Dunbar’s “Justis betuix the Tailyour and the Sowtar.” Watsoun and Barbour were, according to the Treasurer’s Accounts, actual personages in the royal household.

[281] banneret, a knight made in the field.

[282] physician.

[283] surgeon.

[284] Bent old women he would cause.

[285] gallantly waved.

[286] hawkers.

[287] distaffs.

[288] by my livelihood.

[289] the heavens.

[290] by the altar.

[291] running, course.

[292] hurt.

[293] three aimed strokes.

[294] wreaked.

[295] ere.

[296] match.

[297] reached him a blow.

[298] struck.

[299] in truth.

[300] speak.

[301] gloves.

[302] know.

[303] separate.

[304] by the time that.

[305] belongings.

[306] Praise.

KITTEIS CONFESSIOUN.

THE CURATE, AND KITTIE.

The Curate Kittie culd confesse, And scho tald on baith mair and lesse. Quhen scho was telland as scho wist[307], The Curate Kittie wald have kist; Bot yit ane countenance he bure Degeist[308], devote, daine[309], and demure; And syne began hir to exempne[310]. He wes best at the efter game. Quod he, “Have ye na wrangous geir[311]?” Quod scho, “I staw[312] ane pek of beir.” Quod he, “That suld restorit be, Tharefor delyver it to me. Tibbie and Peter bad me speir[313]; Be my conscience, thay sall it heir.” Quod he, “Leve ye in lecherie?” Quod scho, “Will Leno mowit[314] me.” Quod he, “His wyfe that sall I tell, To mak hir acquentance with my-sell.” Quod he, “Ken[315] ye na heresie?” “I wait nocht[316] quhat that is,” quod sche. Quod he, “Hard ye na Inglis bukis?”[317] Quod scho, “My maister on thame lukis.” Quod he, “The bischop that sall knaw, For I am sworne that for to schaw.” Quod he, “What said he of the King?” Quod scho, “Of gude he spak na-thing.” Quod he, “His Grace of that sall wit[318]; And he sall lose his lyfe for it.” Quhen scho in mynd did mair revolve, Quod he, “I can nocht you absolve, Bot to my chalmer cum at even Absolvit for to be and schrevin.” Quod scho, “I wyll pas tyll ane-uther. And I met with Schir Andro,[319] my brother, And he full clenely did me schryve. Bot he wes sumthing talkatyve; He speirit mony strange case[320], How that my lufe did me inbrace, Quhat day, how oft, quhat sort, and quhare? Quod he, ‘I wald I had bene thare.’ He me absolvit for ane plak[321], Thocht[322] he na pryce with me wald mak; And mekil[323] Latyne he did mummill, I hard na-thing bot hummill bummill. He schew me nocht of Goddis word, Quhilk scharper is than ony sword, And deip intill our hart dois prent Our syn, quharethrow we do repent. He pat me na-thing into feir, Quharethrow I suld my syn forbeir; He schew me nocht the maledictioun Of God for syn, nor the afflictioun And in this lyfe the greit mischeif Ordanit to punische hure and theif; Nor schew he me of hellis pane, That I mycht feir, and vice refraine; He counsalit me nocht till abstene, And leid ane holy lyfe, and clene. Of Christis blude na-thing he knew, Nor of His promisses full trew, That saifis all that wyll beleve, That Sathan sall us never greve. He teichit me nocht for till traist The confort of the Haly Ghaist. He bad me nocht to Christ be kynd[324], To keip His law with hart and mynd, And lufe and thank His greit mercie, Fra syn and hell that savit me; And lufe my nichtbour as my-sell. Of this na-thing he culd me tell, Bot gave me pennance, ilk ane day[325] Ane _Ave Marie_ for to say, And Fridayis fyve na fische to eit, (Bot butter and eggis ar better meit), And with ane plak to buy ane messe Fra drounkin Schir Jhone Latynelesse. Quod he, ‘Ane plak I wyll gar[326] Sandie Give thee agane, with handie dandie.’ Syne[327] into pilgrimage to pas-- The verray way to wantounes. Of all his pennance I was glaid, I had them all perqueir[328], I said. To mow and steill I ken the pryce, I sall it set on cincq and syce[329]. Bot he my counsale culd nocht keip; He maid him be the fyre to sleip, Syne cryit, ‘Colleris[330], beif and coillis[331], Hois, and schone with dowbill soillis, Caikis and candill, creische[332] and salt, Curnis[333] of meill, and luiffillis[334] of malt, Wollin and linning, werp and woft-- Dame! keip the keis of your woll loft!’ Throw drink and sleip maid him to raif; And swa with us thay play the knaif.” Freiris sweiris be thair professioun Nane can be saif but[335] this Confessioun, And garris all men understand That it is Goddis awin[336] command. Yit it is nocht but mennis drame[337]. The pepill to confound and schame. It is nocht ellis but mennis law, Maid mennis mindis for to knaw, Quharethrow thay syle[338] thame as thay will, And makis thair law conforme tharetill, Sittand in mennis conscience Abone Goddis magnificence; And dois the pepill teche and tyste[339] To serve the Pape the Antechriste. To the greit God Omnipotent Confess thy syn, and sore repent; And traist in Christ, as wrytis Paule, Quhilk sched his blude to saif thy saule; For nane can thee absolve bot He, Nor tak away thy syn frome thee. Gif of gude counsall thow hes neid, Or hes nocht leirnit weill thy Creid, Or wickit vicis regne in thee, The quhilk thow can nocht mortifie, Or be in desperatioun, And wald have consolatioun, Than till are preichour trew thow pas, And schaw thy syn and thy trespas. Thow neidis nocht to schaw him all, Nor tell thy syn baith greit and small, Quhilk is unpossible to be; Bot schaw the vice that troubillis thee, And he sall of thy saule have reuth, And thee instruct in-to the treuth, And with the Word of Veritie Sall confort and sall counsall thee, The sacramentis schaw thee at lenth, Thy lytle faith to stark and strenth[340], And how thow suld thame richtlie use, And all hypocrisie refuse. Confessioun first wes ordanit fre In this sort in the Kirk to be. Swa to confes as I descryve[341], Wes in the gude Kirk primityve; Swa wes confessioun ordanit first, Thocht Codrus[342] kyte[343] suld cleve and birst.

[307] wished.

[308] grave.

[309] modest.

[310] examine.

[311] goods.

[312] stole.

[313] enquire.

[314] played with.

[315] know.

[316] I know not.

[317] The writings of the Reformers were, before 1560, printed in England and on the Continent. The Bible, in particular, was for this reason known as “the English Book.”

[318] know.

[319] “Sir” was by courtesy the ordinary title of churchmen.

[320] hap, event.

[321] the third of a penny.

[322] Though.

[323] much.

[324] kindred.

[325] each day.

[326] cause.

[327] Afterwards.

[328] by heart.

[329] “five and six,” terms in dice play.

[330] Collars.

[331] coals.

[332] lard.

[333] grains.

[334] handfuls.

[335] without.

[336] own.

[337] dream.

[338] deceive.

[339] entice.

[340] to make stout and strong.

[341] describe.

[342] Perhaps the ill-natured rhetorician mentioned by Virgil, _Eclogues_, v. and vii.

[343] belly.

SQUYER MELDRUMIS JUSTYNG.[344]