Chapter 2

But Drusilly’s husband wanted twelve boys he said, to be law-abidin’ citizens as their Pa wuz, and a protection to the Govermunt, and to be ready to man the new warships, if a war broke out. But her babies wuz real pretty and cunning, and she wuz so weak-minded she couldn’t enjoy the thought that if our male statesmen got to scrappin’ with some other nation’s male law-makers and made another war, of havin’ her grown-up babies face the cannons. I spoze it wuz when she wuz so awful tired she felt so.

You see she had to do every mite of her housework, and milk cows, and make butter and cheese, and cook and wash and scour, and take all the care of the children day and night in sickness and health, and make their clothes and keep ’em clean. And when there wuz so many of ’em and she enjoyin’ real poor health, I spoze she sometimes thought more of her own achin’ back than she did of the good of the Govermunt—and she would git kinder discouraged sometimes and be cross to him. And knowin’ his own motives wuz so high and loyal, he felt that he ort to whip her, so he did.

And what shows that Drusilly wuzn’t so bad after all and did have her good streaks and a deep reverence for the law is, that she stood his whippin’s first-rate, and never whipped him. Now she wuz fur bigger than he wuz, weighed eighty pounds the most, and might have whipped him if the law had been such. But they wuz both law-abidin’ and wanted to keep every preamble, so she stood it to be whipped, and never once whipped him in all the seventeen years they lived together. She died when her twelfth child wuz born. There wuz jest ten months difference between that and the one next older. And they said she often spoke out in her last sickness, and said, “Thank fortune, I’ve always kep’ the law!” And they said the same thought wuz a great comfort to him in his last moments. He died about a year after she did, leavin’ his second wife with twins and a good property.

Then there wuz Abagail Pester. She married a sort of a high-headed man, though one that paid his debts, wuz truthful, good lookin’, and played well on the fiddle. Why, it seemed as if he had almost every qualification for makin’ a woman happy, only he had this one little eccentricity, he would lock up Abagail’s clothes every time he got mad at her.

Of course the law give her clothes to him, and knowin’ that it wuz the law in the state where they lived, she wouldn’t have complained only when they had company. But it wuz mortifyin’, nobody could dispute it, to have company come and have nothin’ to put on. Several times she had to withdraw into the woodhouse, and stay most all day there shiverin’, and under the suller stairs and round in clothes presses. But he boasted in prayer meetin’s and on boxes before grocery stores that he wuz a law-abidin’ citizen, and he wuz. Eben Flanders wouldn’t lie for anybody.

But I’ll bet Abagail Flanders beat our old revolutionary four-mothers in thinkin’ out new laws, when she lay round under stairs and behind barrels in her night-gown. When a man hides his wife’s stockin’s and petticoats it is governin’ without the consent of the governed. If you don’t believe it you’d ort to peeked round them barrels and seen Abagail’s eyes, they had hull reams of by-laws in ’em and preambles, and Declarations of Independence, so I’ve been told. But it beat everything I ever hearn on, the lawful sufferin’s of them wimmen. For there wuzn’t nothin’ illegal about one single trouble of theirn. They suffered accordin’ to law, every one on ’em. But it wuz tuff for ’em, very tuff. And their bein’ so dretful humbly wuz another drawback to ’em, though that too wuz perfectly lawful, as everybody knows.

And Serepta looked as bad agin as she would otherwise on account of her teeth. It wuz after Lank had begun to git after this other woman, and wuz indifferent to his wife’s looks that Serepta had a new set of teeth on her upper jaw. And they sot out and made her look so bad it fairly made her ache to look at herself in the glass. And they hurt her gooms too, and she carried ’em back to the dentist and wanted him to make her another set, but he acted mean and wouldn’t take ’em back, and sued Lank for the pay. And they had a law-suit. And the law bein’ such that a woman can’t testify in court, in any matter that is of mutual interest to husband and wife, and Lank wantin’ to act mean, said that they wuz good sound teeth.

And there Serepta sot right in front of ’em with her gooms achin’ and her face all swelled out, and lookin’ like furiation, and couldn’t say a word. But she had to give in to the law. And ruther than go toothless she wears ’em to this day, and I believe it is the raspin’ of them teeth aginst her gooms and her discouraged, mad feelin’s every time she looks in the glass that helps embitter her towards men, and the laws men have made, so’s a woman can’t have control of her own teeth and her own bones.

Serepta went home about 5 P.M., I promisin’ sacred to do her errents for her.

And I gin a deep, happy sithe after I shot the door behind her, and I sez to Josiah I do hope that’s the very last errent we will have to carry to Washington, D.C., for the Jonesvillians.

“Yes,” says he, “an’ I guess I will get a fresh pail of water and hang on the tea kettle for you.”

“And,” I says, “it’s pretty early for supper, but I’ll start it, for I do feel kinder gone to the stomach. Sympathy is real exhaustin’. Sometimes I think it tires me more’n hard work. And Heaven knows I sympathized with Serepta. I felt for her full as much as if she was one of the relations on _his_ side.”

But if you’ll believe it, I had hardly got the words out of my mouth and Josiah had jest laid holt of the water pail, when in comes Philander Dagget, the President of the Jonesville Creation Searchin’ Society and, of course, he had a job for us to do on our tower. This Society was started by the leadin’ men of Jonesville, for the purpose of searchin’ out and criticizin’ the affairs of the world, an’ so far as possible advisin’ and correctin’ the meanderin’s an’ wrong-doin’s of the universe.

This Society, which we call the C.S.S. for short, has been ruther quiet for years. But sence woman’s suffrage has got to be such a prominent question, they bein’ so bitterly opposed to it, have reorganized and meet every once in a while, to sneer at the suffragettes and poke fun at ’em and show in every way they can their hitter antipathy to the cause.

Philander told me if I see anything new and strikin’ in the way of Society badges and regalia, to let him know about it, for he said the C.S.S. was goin’ to take a decided stand and show their colors. They wuz goin’ to help protect his women endangered sect, an’ he wanted sunthin’ showy and suggestive.

I thought of a number of badges and mottoes that I felt would be suitable for this Society, but dassent tell ’em to him, for his idees and mine on this subject are as fur apart as the two poles. He talked awful bitter to me once about it, and I sez to him:

“Philander, the world is full of good men, and there are also bad men in the world, and, sez I, did you ever in your born days see a bad man that wuzn’t opposed to Woman’s Suffrage? All the men who trade in, and profit by, the weakness and sin of men and women, they every one of ’em, to a man, fight agin it. And would they do this if they didn’t think that their vile trades would suffer if women had the right to vote? It is the great-hearted, generous, noble man who wants women to become a real citizen with himself—which she is not now—she is only a citizen just enough to be taxed equally with man, or more exhorbitantly, and be punished and executed by the law she has no hand in makin’.”

Philander sed, “I have always found it don’t pay to talk with women on matters they don’t understand.”

An’ he got up and started for the door, an’ Josiah sed, “No, it don’t pay, not a cent; I’ve always said so.”

But I told Philander I’d let him know if I see anything appropriate to the C.S.S. Holdin’ back with a almost Herculaneum effort the mottoes and badges that run through my mind as bein’ appropriate to their society; knowin’ it would make him so mad if I told him of ’em—he never would neighbor with us again. And in three days’ time we sot sail. We got to the depo about an hour too early, but I wuz glad we wuz on time, for it would have worked Josiah up dretfully ef we hadn’t been, for he had spent most of the latter part of the night in gittin’ up and walkin’ out to the clock seein’ if it wuz train time. Jest before we started, who should come runnin’ down to the depo but Sam Nugent wantin’ to send a errent by me to Washington. He wunk me out to one side of the waitin’ room, and ast “if I’d try to git him a license to steal horses.”

It kinder runs in the blood of the Nugents to love to steal, and he owned up it did, but he said he wanted the profit of it. But I told him I wouldn’t do any sech thing, an’ I looked at him in such a witherin’ way that I should most probable withered him, only he is blind in one side, and I wuz on the blind side, but he argued with me, and said that it wuz no worse than to give licenses for other kinds of meanness.

He said they give licenses now to steal—steal folkses senses away, and then they could steal everything else, and murder and tear round into every kind of wickedness. But he didn’t ask that. He wanted things done fair and square: he jest wanted to steal horses. He wuz goin’ West, and he thought he could do a good bizness, and lay up somethin’. If he had a license he shouldn’t be afraid of bein’ shet up or shot.

But I refused the job with scorn; and jest as I wuz refusin’, the cars snorted, and I wuz glad they did. They seemed to express in that wild snort something of the indignation I felt.

The idee!

III. “POLLY’S EYES CROWED TENDER”

Lorinda wuz dretful glad to see us and so wuz her husband and Polly. But the Reunion had to be put off on account of a spell her husband wuz havin’. Lorinda said she could not face such a big company as she’d invited while Hiram wuz havin’ a spell, and I agreed with her.

Sez I, “Never, never, would I have invited company whilst Josiah wuz sufferin’ with one of his cricks.”

Men hain’t patient under pain, and outsiders hain’t no bizness to hear things they say and tell on ’em. So Polly had to write to the relations puttin’ off the Reunion for one week. But Lorinda kep’ on cookin’ fruit cake and such that would keep, she had plenty of help, but loved to do her company cookin’ herself. And seein’ the Reunion wuz postponed and Lorinda had time on her hands, I proposed she should go with me to the big out-door meetin’ of the Suffragists, which wuz held in a nigh-by city.

“Good land!” sez she, “nothin’ would tempt me to patronize anything so brazen and onwomanly as a out-door meetin’ of wimmen, and so onhealthy and immodest.” I see she looked reproachfully at Polly as she said it. Polly wuz arrangin’ some posies in a vase, and looked as sweet as the posies did, but considerable firm too, and I see from Lorinda’s looks that Polly wuz one who had to leave father and mother for principle’s sake.

But I sez, “You’re cookin’ this minute, Lorinda, for a out-door meetin’” (she wuz makin’ angel cake). “And why is this meetin’ any more onwomanly or immodest than the camp-meetin’ where you wuz converted, and baptized the next Sunday in the creek?”

“Oh, them wuz religious meetin’s,” sez she.

“Well,” sez I, “mebby these wimmen think their meetin’ is religious. You know the Bible sez, ‘Faith and works should go together,’ and some of the leaders of this movement have showed by their works as religious a sperit and wielded aginst injustice to young workin’ wimmen as powerful a weepon as that axe of the ’Postles the Bible tells about. And you said you went every day to the Hudson-Fulton doin’s and hearn every out-door lecture; you writ me that there wuz probable a million wimmen attendin’ them out-door meetin’s, and that wuz curosity and pleasure huntin’ that took them, and this is a meetin’ of justice and right.”

“Oh, shaw!” sez Lorinda agin, with her eye on Polly. “Wimmen have all the rights they want or need.” Lorinda’s husband bein’ rich and lettin’ her have her way she is real foot loose, and don’t feel the need of any more rights for herself, but I told her then and there some of the wrongs and sufferin’s of Serepta Pester, and bein’ good-hearted (but obstinate and bigoted) she gin in that the errents wuz hefty, and that Serepta wuz to be pitied, but she insisted that wimmen’s votin’ wouldn’t help matters.

But Euphrasia Pottle, a poor relation from Troy, spoke up. “After my husband died one of my girls went into a factory and gits about half what the men git for the same work, and my oldest girl who teaches in the public school don’t git half as much for the same work as men do, and her school rooms are dark, stuffy, onhealthy, and crowded so the children are half-choked for air, and the light so poor they’re havin’ their eyesight spilte for life, and new school books not needed at all, are demanded constantly, so some-one can make money.”

“Yes,” sez I, “do you spoze, Lorinda, if intelligent mothers helped control such things they would let their children be made sick and blind and the money that should be used for food for poor hungry children be squandered on _on_-necessary books they are too faint with hunger to study.”

“But wimmen’s votin’ wouldn’t help in such things,” sez Lorinda, as she stirred her angel cake vigorously.

But Euphrasia sez, “My niece, Ellen, teaches in a state where wimmen vote and she gits the same wages men git for the same work, and her school rooms are bright and pleasant and sanitary, and the pupils, of course, are well and happy. And if you don’t think wimmen can help in such public matters just go to Seattle and see how quick a bad man wuz yanked out of his public office and a good man put in his place, mostly by wimmen’s efforts and votes.”

“Yes,” sez I, “it is a proved fact that wimmen’s votes do help in these matters. And do you think, Lorinda, that if educated, motherly, thoughtful wimmen helped make the laws so many little children would be allowed to toil in factories and mines, their tender shoulders bearin’ the burden of constant labor that wears out the iron muscles of men?”

Polly’s eyes growed tender and wistful, and her little white hands lingered over her posies, and I knowed the hard lot of the poor, the wrongs of wimmen and children, the woes of humanity, wuz pressin’ down on her generous young heart. And I could see in her sweet face the brave determination to do and to dare, to try to help ondo the wrongs, and try to lift the burdens from weak and achin’ shoulders. But Lorinda kep’ on with the same old moth-eaten argument so broke down and feeble it ort to be allowed to die in peace.

“Woman’s suffrage would make women neglect their homes and housework and let their children run loose into ruin.”

I knowed she said it partly on Polly’s account, but I sez in surprise, “Why, Lorinda, it must be you hain’t read up on the subject or you would know wherever wimmen has voted they have looked out first of all for the children’s welfare. They have raised the age of consent, have closed saloons and other places of licensed evil, and in every way it has been their first care to help ’em to safer and more moral surroundin’s, for who has the interest of children more at heart than the mothers who bore them, children who are the light of their eyes and the hope of the future.”

Lorinda admitted that the state of the children in the homes of the poor and ignorant wuz pitiful. “But,” sez she, “the Bible sez ‘ye shall always have the poor with you,’ and I spoze we always shall, with all their sufferin’s and wants. But,” sez she, “in well-to-do homes the children are safe and well off, and don’t need any help from woman legislation.”

“Why, Lorinda,” sez I, “did you ever think on’t how such mothers may watch over and be the end of the law to their children with the father’s full consent during infancy when they’re wrastlin’ with teethin’, whoopin’-cough, mumps, etc., can be queen of the nursery, dispensor of pure air, sunshine, sanitary, and safe surroundin’s in every way, and then in a few years see ’em go from her into dark, overcrowded, unsanitary, carelessly guarded places, to spend the precious hours when they are the most receptive to influence and pass man-made pitfalls on their way to and fro, must stand helpless until in too many cases the innocent healthy child that went from her care returns to her half-blind, a physical and moral wreck. The mother who went down to death’s door for ’em, and had most to do in mouldin’ their destiny during infancy should have at least equal rights with the father in controllin’ their surroundin’s during their entire youth, and to do this she must have equal legal power or her best efforts are wasted. That this is just and right is as plain to me as the nose on my face and folks will see it bom-bye and wonder they didn’t before.

“And wimmen who suffer most by the lack on’t, will be most interested in openin’ schools to teach the fine art of domestic service, teachin’ young girls how to keep healthy comfortable homes and fit themselves to be capable wives and mothers. I don’t say or expect that wimmen’s votin’ will make black white, or wash all the stains from the legislative body at once, but I say that jest the effort to git wimmen’s suffrage has opened hundreds of bolted doors and full suffrage will open hundreds more. And I’m goin’ to that woman’s suffrage meetin’ if I walk afoot.”

But here Josiah spoke up, I thought he wuz asleep, he wuz layin’ on the lounge with a paper over his face. But truly the word, “Woman’s Suffrage,” rousts him up as quick as a mouse duz a drowsy cat, so, sez he, “I can’t let you go, Samantha, into any such dangerous and onwomanly affair.”

“Let?” sez I in a dry voice; “that’s a queer word from one old pardner to another.”

“I’m responsible for your safety, Samantha, and if anybody goes to that dangerous and onseemly meetin’ I will. Mebby Polly would like to go with me.” As stated, Polly is as pretty as a pink posy, and no matter how old a man is, nor how interestin’ and noble his pardner is, he needs girl blinders, yes, he needs ’em from the cradle to the grave. But few, indeed, are the female pardners who can git him to wear ’em.

He added, “You know I represent you legally, Samantha; what I do is jest the same as though you did it.”

Sez I, “Mebby that is law, but whether it is gospel is another question. But if you represent me, Josiah, you will have to carry out my plans; I writ to Diantha Smith Trimble that if I went to the city I’d take care of Aunt Susan a night or two, and rest her a spell; you know Diantha is a widder and too poor to hire a nurse. But seein’ you represent me you can set up with her Ma a night or two; she’s bed-rid and you’ll have to lift her round some, and give her her medicine and take care of Diantha’s twins, and let her git a good sleep.”

“Well, as it were—Samantha—you know—men hain’t expected to represent wimmen in everything, it is mostly votin’ and tendin’ big meetin’s and such.”

“Oh, I see,” sez I; “men represent wimmen when they want to, and when they don’t wimmen have got to represent themselves.”

“Well, yes, Samantha, sunthin’ like that.”

He didn’t say anything more about representin’ me, and Polly said she wuz goin’ to ride in the parade with some other college girls. Lorinda’s linement looked dark and forbiddin’ as Polly stated in her gentle, but firm way this ultimatum. Lorinda hated the idee of Polly’s jinin’ in what she called onwomanly and immodest doin’s, but I looked beamin’ly at her and gloried in her principles.

After she went out Lorinda said to me in a complainin’ way, “I should think that a girl that had every comfort and luxury would be contented and thankful, and be willin’ to stay to home and act like a lady.”

Sez I, “Nothin’ could keep Polly from actin’ like a lady, and mebby it is because she is so well off herself that makes her sorry for other young girls that have nothin’ but poverty and privation.”

“Oh, nonsense!” sez Lorinda. But I knowed jest how it wuz. Polly bein’ surrounded by all the good things money could give, and bein’ so tender-hearted her heart ached for other young girls, who had to spend the springtime of their lives in the hard work of earnin’ bread for themselves and dear ones, and she longed to help ’em to livin’ wages, so they could exist without the wages of sin, and too many on ’em had to choose between them black wages and starvation. She wanted to help ’em to better surroundin’s and she knowed the best weepon she could put into their hands to fight the wolves of Want and Temptation, wuz the ballot. Polly hain’t a mite like her Ma, she favors the Smiths more, her grand-ma on her pa’s side wuz a Smith and a woman of brains and principle.

Durin’ my conversation with Lorinda, I inquired about Royal Gray, for as stated, he wuz a great favorite of ourn, and I found out (and I could see it gaulded her) that when Polly united with the Suffragists he shied off some, and went to payin’ attention to another girl. Whether it wuz to make Polly jealous and bring her round to his way of thinkin’, I didn’t know, but mistrusted, for I could have took my oath that he loved Polly deeply and truly. To be sure he hadn’t confided in me, but there is a language of the eyes, when the soul speaks through ’em, and as I’d seen him look at Polly my own soul had hearn and understood that silent language and translated it, that Polly wuz the light of his eyes, and the one woman in the world for him. And I couldn’t think his heart had changed so sudden. But knowin’ as I did the elastic nature of manly affection, I felt dubersome.

This other girl, Maud Vincent, always said to her men friends, it wuz onwomanly to try to vote. She wuz one of the girls who always gloried in bein’ a runnin’ vine when there wuz any masculine trees round to lean on and twine about. One who always jined in with all the idees they promulgated, from neckties to the tariff, who declared cigar smoke wuz so agreeable and welcome; it did really make her deathly sick, but she would choke herself cheerfully and willin’ly if by so chokin’ she could gain manly favor and admiration.

She said she didn’t believe in helpin’ poor girls, they wuz well enough off as it wuz, she wuz sure they didn’t feel hunger and cold as rich girls did, their skin wuz thicker and their stomachs different and stronger, and constant labor didn’t harm them, and working girls didn’t need recreation as rich girls did, and woman’s suffrage wouldn’t help them any; in her opinion it would harm them, and anyway the poor wuz on-grateful.

She had the usual arguments on the tip of her tongue, for old Miss Vincent, the aunt she lived with, wuz a ardent She Aunty and very prominent in the public meetin’s the She Auntys have to try to compel the Suffragists not to have public meetin’s. They talk a good deal in public how onwomanly and immodest it is for wimmen to talk in public. And she wuz one of the foremost ones in tryin’ to git up a school to teach wimmen civics, to prove that they mustn’t ever have anything to do with civics.

Yes, old Miss Vincent wuz a real active, ardent She Aunty, and Maud Genevieve takes after her. Royal Gray, his handsome attractive personality, and his millions, had long been the goal of Maud’s ambition. And how ardently did she hail the coolness growing between him and Polly, the little rift in the lute, and how zealously did she labor to make it larger.