Category: Humour

Samantha in Europe

In the east a silvery moon hangin’ low and a shinin’ path leadin’ up to it. In the west Mars a-dazzlin’ bright over a pale pink sky, with streaks of yeller and crimson a-layin’ stretched acrost it, like bars put up by angel hands a-fencin’ in their world from ourn.

Chapters

1. CHAPTER I.

In the east a silvery moon hangin’ low and a shinin’ path leadin’ up to it. In the west Mars a-dazzlin’ bright over a pale pink sky, with streaks of yeller and crimson a-layin’...

2. CHAPTER II.

Wall, I wuz a-settin’ in my clean settin’-room on a calm twilight, engaged in completin’ my preperations--in fact, I wuz jest a-puttin’ the finishin’ touches on one of Josiah’s...

3. CHAPTER III.

Wall, the upshot of the matter wuz Al Faizi stayed right there for weeks. He seemed to have plenty of money, and I d’no what arrangement he and Josiah did make about his board,...

4. CHAPTER IV.

Wall, if you’ll believe it, it wuz the very next day I had a occasion to go to Jonesville for some necessaries; and Josiah wuz busy a-makin’ a new stanchil in the barn, so I sot...

5. CHAPTER V.

Wall, Al Faizi hearn this story about the contoggler’s sufferin’s and the doin’s of the B. I. L., and I never see him so riz up about anything as he wuz with that.

6. CHAPTER VI.

Al Faizi got acquainted with the Baptist minister at Jonesville, and Elder Dean took to that noble heathen in a remarkable way. He wuz a truly Christian man and deep learnt, and...

7. CHAPTER VII.

And so it wuz settled, and Martin bein’ writ to to git another ticket, he got it, and sent it in a letter to us. But what he would say when he see the passenger who wuz goin’ to...

8. CHAPTER VIII.

We d’no what is a-goin’ on under us on land--no, indeed, we don’t, and if we git to forgittin’ it, we often git a shake-up and a hunch from old Mom Nater to let us know that we...

9. CHAPTER IX.

Anon we reached the old castle, for when anything gits to be six hundred years old you can well call it old. Why, I should call Josiah dretful old if he wuz over six hundred yea...

10. CHAPTER X.

I don’t believe he had any deeper feelin’s and more riz up ones when he looked at them three beautiful lakes, with the mountains a-standin’ up all round ’em with bare heads.

11. CHAPTER XI.

Wall, Martin said that he should probble be asked if he had visited the Giant’s Causeway, so he thought we had better proceed to it to once. So we went directly from Dublin to P...

12. CHAPTER XII.

Wall, from here we took some excursions to places of interest in the vicinity. One of heart-thrillin’ interest wuz to Ayr, and lasted two days, for Martin said he wanted to see...

13. CHAPTER XIII.

Wall, from Glasgow we went to Edinburgh, and we found that that wuz a beautiful city, beautiful, with the ancient castle perched up on the rocks four hundred feet above, and old...

14. CHAPTER XIV.

And one excursion I took part in with the greatest delight and one small satchel--for we wuz to stay one night--wuz to Melrose Abbey and Abbotsford, the home of Sir Walter Scott.

15. CHAPTER XV.

Wall, as we got back to Edinburgh it was on the first edge of the evenin’, and I had the chance of hearin’ a real Scotch ministrel; not one of them bagpipes of theirn, which sou...

16. CHAPTER XVI.

So anon we found ourselves in the smoky, grimy, dirty city. A heavy black cloud seemed to hang overhead, seemin’ to shade the hull spot; but then I didn’t want to lay it up agin...

17. CHAPTER XVII.

Wall, Martin, who sometimes changes his mind, but don’t think he duz, always a-sayin’ that it shows weak-mindedness and is a trait belongin’ to wimmen (which I never feel like d...

18. CHAPTER XVIII.

Wall, the next mornin’ we sot out bright and early for Shottery, Josiah feelin’ as peart as you please, and the two children’s faces lookin’ like roses. Al Faizi’s eyes wuz bent...

19. CHAPTER XIX.

One of the charmin’est little villages I ever sot my eyes on, as clean as my kitchen is when I git it all swept out. The housen are all built of stun, and some on ’em have littl...

20. CHAPTER XX.

Martin, who owned, or pretty nigh owned, several railroads, wuz dretful talkative about the superior merits of our cars, etc. And, to tell the truth, these English cars did seem...

21. did. Al Faizi and Alice wuz dretful anxious to see it, and Martin sed--

He thought it wuz probble what would be expected of him, and if he wuz summoned home on account of his business, he said he _must_ be able to say that he had been to Westminster...

22. CHAPTER XXI.

I see Captain Cuttle and Bunsby fleein’ from Mrs. McStinger, and Wall’r Boy and his uncle, and Susan Nipper and Toots, and Mrs. Pipchin, and sweet Florence a-walkin’ by the Litt...

23. CHAPTER XXII.

I hadn’t been in London for more’n a short time before I wuz attacked with a queer feelin’ and pain in my back. It seemed to be the worst on my right shoulder blade. It wuz a pa...

24. CHAPTER XXIII.

Josiah a-gittin’ it into his head that it wuz fashionable to read up about places of interest, had flooded his brain almost beyend its strength to bear about the Cathedral. And...

25. CHAPTER XXIV.

Of course when I first arrove I had sent her word to once, and asked her in a friendly way to come and see us jest as quick as she could, knowin’ that it wuz etiket for me to do...

26. CHAPTER XXV.

To give any idee of what we see in that museum would take more time, and foolscap paper, and eyesight, or wind and ears than I spoze I will ever be able to command.

27. CHAPTER XXVI.

Wall, Martin felt and sed that France must be took in by him. He sed that a full knowledge of the French character, the country and the customs and habits of the people, wuz pos...

28. CHAPTER XXVII.

The big gilded dome of this meetin’-house towers up three hundred and fifty feet, and can be seen all over the city, and would be apt to keep Napoleon in memory if France wuz in...

29. CHAPTER XXVIII.

Martin sed he shouldn’t think of travellin’ in Germany, as he had made a very exhaustive study of the country on a visit he’d paid it some years before. I knew Alice had been th...

30. CHAPTER XXIX.

Our noble St. Lawrence could have took the Rhine in if she had been in need and adopted her, and let her run along with her, a-murmurin’ and a-babblin’ as children will, and nob...

31. CHAPTER XXX.

Wall, at last, under the fosterin’ care of Martin, we wuz conveyed along into Italy and put up to a place called Milan. But one memory of our way thither stands out as plain in...

32. CHAPTER XXXI.

It wuz jest as beautiful in Rome--magnificent palaces, cathedrals, picters, statutes, tapestry, mosaics, articles of virtue of all kinds, and immense gateways leadin’ into new s...

33. CHAPTER XXXII.

Wall, in the streets of Naples Martin met a man that he knew at home--a man most as rich as Martin--a Mr. Goldwind, a sort of a rival in business, I guess, and he had jest been...

34. CHAPTER XXXIII.

I wuz not sorry to be on the train agin on our way to Irun, which wuz the first town of Spain we entered, and here we wuz ushered into the Custom House.

35. CHAPTER XXXIV.

Josiah and I thought we would branch out this day and go alone, so he secured the gayest-lookin’ rig he could find, drawed by three mules hitched side by side. It attracted all...

36. CHAPTER XXXV.

Wall, we had a very fatiguin’ journey, durin’ which I will pass over the sufferin’s of my pardner from the hot, dry climate, the ever-present pangs of hunger, that wuz always wi...

37. CHAPTER XXXVI.

While we wuz in Madrid we felt that we ort to anyway visit the Escuriel, that immense palace and monastery built by Philip II. He got skairt, so I wuz told, and made a vow to St...

38. CHAPTER XXXVII.

Home! sweet sound! No word ever did, or ever can, sound so sweet as that word “home” duz hearn on a foreign shore. And though the journey seemed long and perilous and full of fa...

39. CHAPTER XXXVIII.

Jonesville wuz bathed in the rosy hue of sunset when Ury let down the bars and we passed up into the lane leadin’ to our dear home--that sweet, restful haven, into which Josiah...

40. CHAPTER XXXIX.

Wall, I found that Martin wuz as immovable and sot as a rock. “As for Alice,” sez he, “I told you six months ago what I should do, and I never change my mind.”

41. CHAPTER XL.

Wall, that night after the funeral I wuz called down into the parlor to see a stranger--a good deal devolved on me in that awful time; I kep’ calm, or tried to, and that calmnes...