Humor

Samantha Among the Brethren, Complete

When I first heard that wimmen wuz goin' to make a effort to set on a Conference, it wuz on a Wednesday, as I remember well. For my companion, Josiah Allen, had drove over to Loontown in a Democrat and in a great hurry, to meet two men who wanted him to go into a speculation w...

Chapters

1. Chapter 1

When I first heard that wimmen wuz goin' to make a effort to set on a Conference, it wuz on a Wednesday, as I remember well. For my companion, Josiah Allen, had drove over to Lo...

2. Chapter 2

Wall, it wuz on the very next day--on a Thursday as I remember well, for I wuz a-thinkin' why didn't Lodema's letter come the next day--Fridays bein' considered onlucky--and it...

3. Chapter 3

But Josiah Allen wuz jest crazy over that lecture--crazy as a loon. He raved about it all the way home, and he would repeat over lots of it to me. About "how a man's love was th...

4. Chapter 4

Never knew a word about the threshin' machine a-comin' till about half an hour before. Josiah Allen wuzn't to blame. It come just as onexpected onto him as it did onto me.

5. Chapter 5

Wall, the author of "Wedlock's Peaceful Repose" wuz a-waitin' for me to the table; the men had all got through and gone out. She sot right by me, and she had missed me, I could...

6. Chapter 6

The author of "Peaceful Repose" sez to me, and she looked pale and skairt; she had heard every word Josiah had said, and she wuz dretful skairt and shocked (not knowin' the ways...

7. Chapter 7

But along about the middle of the fifth week I see a change. Lodema had been uncommon exasperatin', and I expected she would set Josiah to goin', and I groaned in spirit, to thi...

8. Chapter 8

For two weeks had passed away like a nite mair of the nite--and three weeks, and four weeks--and she didn't seem to be no nigher goin' than she did when she came.

9. Chapter 9

I had been the female appinted in a private and becomin' female way, to go to Loontown to see the meetin' house there that we heard they had fixed over in a cheap but commojous...

10. Chapter 10

We dressmakers wuz in the house, to stay all the time till the dresses wuz done; and clerks would come around, anon, if not oftener, with packages of mournin' goods, and mournin...

11. Chapter 11

A few days follerin' on and ensuin' after this eppisode, Submit Tewksburv wuz a takin' supper with me. She had come home with me from the meetin' house where we had been to work...

12. Chapter 12

Submit wuz very skairt to heern him go on (she felt more nervous on account of an extra hard day's work), and I myself wuz beat out, but I wuzn't afraid at all of him, though he...

13. Chapter 13

Curius, hain't it? How folks will get to tellin' things, and finally tell 'em so much, that finally they will get to believin' of 'em themselves--boastin' of bein' rich, etc., o...

14. Chapter 14

He come to our house a visitin' along the first week in June, and the last day in June wuz the day they had sot for the world to come to an end. I, myself, didn't believe she kn...

15. Chapter 15

Wall, from that night, Miss Trueman Pool attended to the meetins at the Risley school-house, stiddy and constant. And before the week wuz out Joe Charnick had walked home with h...

16. Chapter 16

Wall, lots of folks had assembled to the school-house when we got there, about 3 o'clock P.M.--afternoon. Believers, and world's people, all a-settin' round on seats and stumps,...

17. Chapter 17

You see the way on't wuz: we had to do sumthin' to raise the minister's salary, which wuz most half a year behindhand, to say nothin' of the ensuin' year a-comin'. And as I have...

18. Chapter 18

Josiah's face wuz smooth and placid, he hadn't took a mite of sense of what I had been a-sayin', and I knew it. Men don't. They know at the most it is only _talk_, wimmen hain't...

19. Chapter 19

Couldn't help a-methinkin' to myself several times. It duz seem to me that there hain't a question a-comin' up before that Conference that is harder to tackle than this plasteri...

20. Chapter 20

Wall, we got the scrapin' done after three hard and arjous days' works, and then we preceeded to clean the house. The day we set to clean the meetin' house prior and before pape...

21. Chapter 21

Why, Deacon Henzy, besides all his cares about the buzz saw mill, and his farm work, had bought a steam threshin' machine that made him sights of work. It was a good machine. Bu...

22. Chapter 22

Sure enough, Josiah Allen had killed a hen, and dressed it ready for me to brile, but it wuz young and tender, and I knew it wouldn't take long, so I didn't care.

23. Chapter 23

Miss Timson's letter wuz writ to me on the 6th day of his sickness, and Josiah and me set sail for Loontown on the follerin' day after we got it.

24. Chapter 24

Some things he lacked: he hadn't no immagination at all, not one speck. And in makin' him up, it seems as if he had a leetle more justice added to him to make up a lack of chari...

25. Chapter 25

The very next day after I got home from Miss Timson'ses, we wimmen all met to the meetin' house agin as usial, for we knew very well that the very hardest and most arjuous part...

26. Chapter 26

He wuz jest a-countin' out his money prior to puttin' it away in his tin box, and I laid the subject before him strong and eloquent, jest the wants and needs of the meetin' hous...

27. Chapter 27

And now I am goin' to relate the very singulerist thing that ever happened in Jonesville, or the world--although it is eppisodin' to tell on it now, and also a-gettin' ahead of...

28. Chapter 28

And though we deeply felt the honor they wuz a-heapin' on to us, yet es it hes been, time and agin, in other high places in the land, if it hadn't been fer duty that wuz a-gripp...