Chapter 2

Altea:

As you shall see Lady, But to all this is but a trunk.

Margarita:

I would have him so, I shall adde branches to him to adorn him, Goe, find me out this man, and let me see him, If he be that motion that you tell me of, And make no more noise, I shall entertain him, Let him be here.

Altea:

He shall attend your Ladiship. [Exeunt.

[Enter _Juan_, _Alonzo_, and _Perez_.]

Juan de Castro:

Why thou art not married indeed?

Michael Perez:

No, no, pray think so, Alas I am a fellow of no reckoning, Not worth a Ladies eye.

Alonzo:

Wou'dst thou steal a fortune, And make none of all thy friends acquainted with it, Nor bid us to thy wedding?

Michael Perez:

No indeed, There was no wisdom in't, to bid an Artist, An old seducer to a femal banquet, I can cut up my pye without your instructions.

Juan de Castro:

Was it the wench i'th' veil?

Michael Perez:

Basto 'twas she, The prettiest Rogue that e're you look'd upon, The lovingst thief.

Juan de Castro:

And is she rich withal too?

Michael Perez:

A mine, a mine, there is no end of wealth Coronel, I am an asse, a bashfull fool, prethee Coronel, How do thy compa[ni]es fill now?

Juan de Castro:

You are merry Sir, 184] You intend a safer war at home belike now.

Michael Perez:

I do not think I shall fight much this year Coronel, I find my self given to my ease a little, I care not if I sell my foolish company, They are things of hazard.

Alonzo:

How it angers me, This fellow at first fight should win a Lady, A rich young wench, and I that have consum'd My time and art in searching out their subtleties, Like a fool'd Alchymist blow up my hopes still? When shall we come to thy house and be freely merry?

Michael Perez:

When I have manag'd her a little more, I have an house to entertain an army.

Alonzo:

If thy wife be fair, thou wilt have few less Come to thee.

Michael Perez:

But where they'l get entertainment is the point Signior. I beat no Drum.

Alonzo:

You need none but her taber, May be I'le march after a month or two, To get me a fresh stomach. I find Coronel A wantonness in wealth, methinks I agree not with, 'Tis such a trouble to be married too, And have a thousand things of great importance, Jewels and plates, and fooleries molest me, To have a mans brains whimsied with his wealth: Before I walk'd contentedly.

[Enter _Servant_.]

Servant:

My Mistris Sir is sick, because you are absent, She mourns and will not eat.

Michael Perez:

Alas my Jewel, Come I'le goe with thee, Gentlemen your fair leaves, You see I am ti'd a little to my yoke, Pray pardon me, would ye had both such loving wives.

Juan de Castro:

I thank ye [Exit _Perez_, Servant.

For your old boots, never be blank _Alonzo_, Because this fellow has outstript thy fortune, Tell me ten daies hence what he is, and how The gracious state of matrimony stands with him, Come, let's to dinner, when _Margarita_ comes 185] We'l visit both, it may be then your fortune.

[Exeunt.

[Enter _Margarita_, _Altea_, and Ladies.]

Margarita:

Is he come?

Altea:

Yes Madam, h'as been here this half hour, I have question'd him of all that you can ask him, And find him as fit as you had made the man, He will make the goodliest shadow for iniquity.

Margarita:

Have ye searcht him Ladies?

Omnes:

Is a man at all points, a likely man.

Margarita:

Call him in _Altea_. [Exit _Lady_.

[Enter _Leon_, _Altea_.]

A man of a good presence, pray ye come this way, Of a lusty body, is his mind so tame?

Altea:

Pray ye question him, and if you find him not Fit for your purpose, shake him off, there's no harm Done.

Margarita:

Can you love a young Lady? How he blushes!

Altea:

Leave twirling of your hat, and hold your head up, And speak to'th' Lady.

Leon:

Yes, I think I can, I must be taught, I know not what it means Madam.

Margarita:

You shall be taught, and can you when she pleases Go ride abroad, and stay a week or two? You shall have men and horses to attend ye, And mony in your purse.

Leon:

Yes I love riding, And when I am from home I am so merry.

Margarita:

Be as merry as you will: can you as handsomely When you are sent for back, come with obedience, And doe your dutie to the Lady loves you?

Leon:

Yes sure, I shall.

Margarita:

And when you see her friends here, Or noble kinsmen, can you entertain Their servants in the Celler, and be busied, And hold your peace, what e're you see or hear of?

Leon:

'Twere fit I were hang'd else.

Margarita:

Let me try your kisses, How the fool shakes, I will not eat ye Sir, 186] Beshrew my heart he kisses wondrous manly, Can ye doe any thing else?

Leon:

Indeed I know not; But if your Ladiship will please to instruct me, Sure I shall learn.

Margarita:

You shall then be instructed: If I should be this Lady that affects ye, Nay say I marry ye?

Altea:

Hark to the Lady.

Margarita:

What mony have ye?

Leon:

None Madam, nor friends, I wou'd doe any thing to serve your Ladiship.

Margarita:

You must not look to be my Mr Sir, Nor talk i'th' house as though you wore the breeches, No, nor command in any thing.

Leon:

I will not, Alas I am not able, I have no wit Madam.

Margarita:

Nor do not labour to arrive at any, 'Twill spoil your head, I take ye upon charity, And like a Servant ye must be unto me, As I behold your duty I shall love ye, And as you observe me, I may chance lye with ye, Can you mark these?

Leon:

Yes indeed forsooth.

Margarita:

There is one thing, That if I take ye in I put ye from me, Utterly from me, you must not be sawcy, No, nor at any time familiar with me, Scarce know me, when I call ye not.

Leon:

I will not, alas I never knew my self sufficiently.

Margarita:

Nor must not now.

Leon:

I'le be a Dog to please ye.

Margarita:

Indeed you must fetch and carry as I appoint ye.

Leon:

I were to blame else.

Margarita:

Kiss me again; a strong fellow, There is a vigor in his lips: if you see me Kiss any other, twenty in an hour Sir, You must not start, nor be offended.

Leon:

No, if you kiss a thousand I shall be contented, It will the better teach me how to please ye. 187]

Altea:

I told ye Madam.

Margarita:

'Tis the man I wisht for; the less you speak.

Leon:

I'le never speak again Madam, But when you charge me, then I'le speak softly too.

Margarita:

Get me a Priest, I'le wed him instantly, But when you are married Sir, you must wait Upon me, and see you observe my laws.

Leon:

Else you shall hang me.

Margarita:

I'le give ye better clothes when you deserve 'em, Come in, and serve for witness.

Omnes:

We shall Madam.

Margarita:

And then away toth' city presently, I'le to my new house and new company.

Leon:

A thousand crowns are thine, and I am a made man.

Altea:

Do not break out too soon.

Leon:

I know my time wench. [Exeunt.

[Enter _Clara_, and _Estifania_ with a paper.]

Clara:

What, have you caught him?

Estifania:

Yes.

Clara:

And do you find him A man of those hopes that you aim'd at?

Estifania:

Yes too, And the most kind man, and the ablest also To give a wife content, he is sound as old wine, And to his soundness rises on the pallat, And there's the man; find him rich too _Clara_.

Clara:

Hast thou married him?

Estifania:

What dost thou think I fish without a bait wench? I bob for fools? he is mine own, I have him, I told thee what would tickle him like a trout, And as I cast it so I caught him daintily, And all he has I have 'stowed at my devotion.

Clara:

Does thy Lady know this? she is coming now to town, Now to live here in this house.

Estifania:

Let her come, She shall be welcom, I am prepar'd for her, She is mad sure if she be angry at my fortune, For what I have made bold.

Clara:

Dost thou not love him? 188]

Estifania:

Yes, intirely well, As long as there he staies and looks no farther Into my ends, but when he doubts, I hate him, And that wise hate will teach me how to cozen him: How to decline their wives, and curb their manners, To put a stern and strong reyn to their natures, And holds he is an Asse not worth acquaintance, That cannot mould a Devil to obedience, I owe him a good turn for these opinions, And as I find his temper I may pay him,

[Enter _Perez_.]

O here he is, now you shall see a kind man.

Michael Perez:

My _Estifania_, shall we to dinner lamb? I know thou stay'st for me.

Estifania:

I cannot eat else.

Michael Perez:

I never enter but me thinks a Paradise Appears about me.

Estifania:

You are welcom to it Sir.

Michael Perez:

I think I have the sweetest seat in _Spain_ wench, Me thinks the richest too, we'l eat i'th' garden In one o'th' arbours, there 'tis cool and pleasant, And have our wine cold in the running fountain. Who's that?

Estifania:

A friend of mine Sir.

Michael Perez:

Of what breeding?

Estifania:

A Gentlewoman Sir.

Michael Perez:

What business has she? Is she a learned woman i'th' Mathematicks, Can she tell fortunes?

Estifania:

More than I know Sir.

Michael Perez:

Or has she e're a letter from a kinswoman, That must be delivered in my absence wife, Or comes she from the Doctor to salute ye, And learn your health? she looks not like a confessor.

Estifania:

What need all this, why are you troubled Sir? What do you suspect, she cannot cuckold ye, She is a woman Sir, a very woman.

Michael Perez:

Your very woman may do very well Sir Toward the matter, for though she cannot perform it 189] In her own person, she may do it by Proxie, Your rarest jugglers work still by conspiracy.

Estifania:

Cry ye mercy husband, you are jealous then, And happily suspect me.

Michael Perez:

No indeed wife.

Estifania:

Me thinks you should not till you have more cause And clearer too: I am sure you have heard say husband, A woman forced will free her self through Iron, A happy, calm, and good wife discontented May be taught tricks.

Michael Perez:

No, no, I do but jest with ye.

Estifania:

To morrow friend I'le see you.

Clara:

I shall leave ye Till then, and pray all may goe sweetly with ye.

[Exit.

Estifania:

Why where's this girle, whose at the door? [Knock.

Michael Perez:

Who knocks there? Is't for the King ye come, you knock so boisterously? Look to the door.

[Enter _Maid_.]

Maid:

My Lady, as I live Mistris, my Ladie's come, She's at the door, I peept through, and I saw her, And a stately company of Ladies with her.

Estifania:

This was a week too soon, but I must meet with her, And set a new wheel going, and a subtile one, Must blind this mighty _Mars_, or I am ruin'd.

Michael Perez:

What are they at door?

Estifania:

Such my _Michael_ As you may bless the day they enter'd there, Such for our good.

Michael Perez:

'Tis well.

Estifania:

Nay, 'twill be better If you will let me but dispose the business, And be a stranger to it, and not disturb me, What have I now to do but to advance your fortune?

Michael Perez:

Doe, I dare trust thee, I am asham'd I am angry, I find thee a wise young wife.

Estifania:

I'le wise your worship Before I leave ye, pray ye walk by and say nothing, Only salute them, and leave the rest to me Sir, 190] I was born to make ye a man.

[]

Michael Perez:

The Rogue speaks heartily, Her good will colours in her cheeks, I am born to love her, I must be gentler to these tender natures, A Souldiers rude harsh words befit not Ladies, Nor must we talk to them as we talk to Our Officers, I'le give her way, for 'tis for me she Works now, I am husband, heir, and all she has.

[Enter _Margarita_, _Estifania_, _Leon_, _Altea_, and Ladies.]

Who are these, what flanting things, a woman Of rare presence! excellent fair, this is too big For a bawdy house, too open seated too.

Estifania:

My Husband, Lady.

Margarita:

You have gain'd a proper man.

Michael Perez:

What e're I am, I am your servant Lady. [kisses.

Estifania:

Sir, be rul'd now, And I shall make ye rich, this is my cousin, That Gentleman dotes on her, even to death, see how he observes her.

Michael Perez:

She is a goodly woman.

Estifania:

She is a mirrour, But she is poor, she were for a Princes side else, This house she has brought him too as to her own, And presuming upon me, and upon my courtesie. Conceive me short, he knows not but she is wealthy, Or if he did know otherwise, 'twere all one, He is so far gone.

Michael Perez:

Forward, she has a rare face.

Estifania:

This we must carry with discretion Husband, And yield unto her for four daies.

Michael Perez:

Yield our house up, our goods and wealth?

Estifania:

All this is but in seeming, To milk the lover on, do you see this writing, 200_l_ a year when they are married Has she sealed to for our good; the time's unfit now, I'le shew it you to morrow.

Michael Perez:

All the house?

Estifania:

All, all, and we'l remove too, to confirm him, They'l into th' country suddenly again After they are matcht, and then she'l open to him. 191]

Michael Perez:

The whole possession wife? look what you doe, A part o'th' house.

Estifania:

No, no, they shall have all, And take their pleasure too, 'tis for our 'vantage. Why, what's four daies? had you a Sister Sir, A Niece or Mistris that required this courtesie, And should I make a scruple to do you good?

Michael Perez:

If easily it would come back.

Estifania:

I swear Sir, As easily as it came on, is't not pity To let such a Gentlewoman for a little help-- You give away no house.

Michael Perez:

Clear but that question.

Estifania:

I'le put the writings into your hand.

Michael Perez:

Well then.

Estifania:

And you shall keep them safe.

Michael Perez:

I am satisfied; wou'd I had the wench so too.

Estifania:

When she has married him, So infinite his love is linkt unto her, You, I, or any one that helps at this pinch May have Heaven knows what.

Michael Perez:

I'le remove the goods straight, And take some poor house by, 'tis but for four days.

Estifania:

I have a poor old friend; there we'l be.

Michael Perez:

'Tis well then.

Estifania:

Goe handsom off, and leave the house clear.

Michael Perez:

Well.

Estifania:

That little stuff we'l use shall follow after; And a boy to guide ye, peace and we are made both.

Margarita:

Come, let's goe in, are all the rooms kept sweet wench?

Estifania:

They are sweet and neat. [Exit _Perez_.

Margarita:

Why where's your Husband?

Estifania:

Gone Madam. When you come to your own he must give place Lady.

Margarita:

Well, send you joy, you would not let me know't, Yet I shall not forget ye.

Estifania:

Thank your Ladyship. [Exeunt.

192] Actus Tertius

Scena Prima.

[Enter _Margarita_, _Altea_, and _Boy_.]

Altea:

Are you at ease now, is your heart at rest, Now you have got a shadow, an _umbrella_ To keep the scorching worlds opinion From your fair credit.

Margarita:

I am at peace _Altea_, If he continue but the same he shews, And be a master of that ignorance He outwardly professes, I am happy, The pleasure I shall live in and the freedom Without the squint-eye of the law upon me, Or prating liberty of tongues, that envy.

Altea:

You are a made woman.

Margarita:

But if he should prove now A crafty and dissembling kind of Husband, One read in knavery, and brought up in the art Of villany conceal'd.

Altea:

My life, an innocent.

Margarita:

That's it I aim at, That's it I hope too, then I am sure I rule him, For innocents are like obedient Children Brought up under a hard Mother-in-law, a cruel, Who being not us'd to break-fasts and collations, When they have course bread offer'd 'em, are thankfull, And take it for a favour too. Are the rooms Made ready to entertain my friends? I long to dance now And to be wanton; let me have a song, is the great couch up The Duke of _Medina_ sent?

Altea:

'Tis up and ready.

Margarita:

And day-beds in all chambers?

Altea:

In all Lady, Your house is nothing now but various pleasures, The Gallants begin to gaze too.

Margarita:

Let 'em gaze on, I was brought up a Courtier, high and happy, And company is my delight, and courtship, 193] And handsom servants at my will: where's my good husband, Where does he wait?

Altea:

He knows his distance Madam, I warrant ye he is busie in the celler Amongst his fellow servants, or asleep, Till your command awake him.

[Enter _Leon_.]

Margarita:

'Tis well _Altea_. It should be so, my ward I must preserve him. Who sent for him, how dare he come uncall'd for, His bonnet on too?

Altea:

Sure he sees you not.

Margarita:

How scornfully he looks!

Leon:

Are all the chambers Deckt and adorn'd thus for my Ladies pleasure? New hangings every hour for entertainment, And new plate bought, new Jewels to give lustre?

Servant:

They are, and yet there must be more and richer, It is her will.

Leon:

Hum, is it so? 'tis excellent, It is her will too, to have feasts and banquets, Revells and masques.

Servant:

She ever lov'd 'em dearly, And we shall have the bravest house kept now Sir, I must not call ye master she has warn'd me, Nor must not put my hat off to ye.

Leon:

'Tis no fashion, What though I be her husband, I am your fellow, I may cut first.

Servant:

That's as you shall deserve Sir.

Leon:

And when I lye with her.

Servant:

May be I'le light ye, On the same point you may doe me that service.

[Enter _1 Lady_.]

1 Lady:

Madam, the Duke _Medina_ with some Captains Will come to dinner, and have sent rare wine, And their best services.

Margarita:

They shall be welcom, 194] See all be ready in the noblest fashion, The house perfum'd, now I shall take my pleasure, And not my neighbour Justice maunder at me. Go, get your best cloths on, but till I call ye, Be sure you be not seen, dine with the Gentlewomen, And behave your self cleanly Sir, 'tis for my credit.

[Enter _2 Lady_.]

2 Lady:

Madam, the Lady _Julia_.

Leon:

That's a bawd, A three pil'd bawd, bawd major to the army.

2 Lady:

Has brought her coach to wait upon your Ladiship, And to be inform'd if you will take the air this morning.

Leon:

The neat air of her nunnery.

Margarita:

Tell her no, i'th' afternoon I'le call on her.

2 Lady:

I will Madam. [Exit.

Margarita:

Why are not you gone to prepare your self, May be you shall be sewer to the fire course, A portly presence, _Altea_ he looks lean, 'Tis a wash knave, he will not keep his flesh well.

Altea:

A willing, Madam, one that needs no spurring.

Leon:

Faith madam, in my little understanding, You had better entertain your honest neighbours, Your friends about ye, that may speak well of ye, And give a worthy mention of your bounty.

Margarita:

How now, what's this?

Leon:

'Tis only to perswade ye, Courtiers are but tickle things to deal withal, A kind of march-pane men that will not last Madam, An egge and pepper goes farther than their potions, And in a well built body, a poor parsnip Will play his prize above their strong potabiles.

Margarita:

The fellow's mad.

Leon:

He that shall counsel Ladies, That have both liquorish and ambitious eyes, Is either mad, or drunk, let him speak Gospel.

Altea:

He breaks out modestly.

Leon:

Pray ye be not angry, My indiscretion has made bold to tell ye, What you'l find true. 195]

Margarita:

Thou darest not talk.

Leon:

Not much Madam, You have a tye upon your servants tongue, He dares not be so bold as reason bids him, 'Twere fit there were a stronger on your temper. Ne're look so stern upon me, I am your Husband, But what are Husbands? read the new worlds wonders, Such Husbands as this monstrous world produces, And you will scarce find such deformities, They are shadows to conceal your venial vertues, Sails to your mills, that grind with all occasions, Balls that lye by you, to wash out your stains, And bills nail'd up with horn before your stories, To rent out last.

Margarita:

Do you hear him talk?

Leon:

I have done Madam, An oxe once spoke, as learned men deliver, Shortly I shall be such, then I'le speak wonders, Till when I tye my self to my obedience.

[Exit.

Margarita:

First I'le unty my self, did you mark the Gentleman, How boldly and how sawcily he talk'd, And how unlike the lump I took him for, The piece of ignorant dow, he stood up to me And mated my commands, this was your providence, Your wisdom, to elect this Gentleman, Your excellent forecast in the man, your knowledge, What think ye now?

Altea:

I think him an Asse still, This boldness some of your people have blown Into him, this wisdom too with strong wine, 'Tis a Tyrant, and a Philosopher also, and finds Out reasons.

Margarita:

I'le have my celler lockt, no school kept there, Nor no discovery. I'le turn my drunkards, Such as are understanding in their draughts, And dispute learnedly the whyes and wherefores, To grass immediatly, I'le keep all fools, Sober or drunk, still fools, that shall know nothing, Nothing belongs to mankind, but obedience, And such a hand I'le keep over this Husband. 196]

Altea:

He will fall again, my life he cryes by this time, Keep him from drink, he has a high constitution.

[Enter _Leon_.]

Leon:

Shall I wear my new sute Madam?

Margarita:

No your old clothes, And get you into the country presently, And see my hawks well train'd, you shall have victuals, Such as are fit for sawcy palats Sir, And lodgings with the hindes, it is too good too.

Altea:

Good Madam be not so rough, with repentance, You see now he's come round again.

Margarita:

I see not what I expect to see.

Leon:

You shall see Madam, if it shall please your Ladyship.

Altea:

He's humbled, Forgive good Lady,

Margarita:

Well go get you handsom, And let me hear no more.

Leon:

Have ye yet no feeling? I'le pinch ye to the bones then my proud Lady.

[Exit.

Margarita: