Part 7

To those who have been reared in Christian nations, it is difficult to conceive of the vague ideas of the true worship of the Creator, that are really bred and born into the worshipers of idols. Generation upon generation, for thousands of years, have been taught the same form of worship, or nearly so, until such heathen ideas and doctrines have become just as much a part of their nature as is any other sinful disposition.

Having been a personal observer of a few of their customs, I shall here be mentioning what I have seen, with a prayer that my account may at least help the reader more fully to appreciate the access that every worshiper of the true God has to the bountiful storehouse of blessings provided by our Creator.

For nearly five years I lived a short distance outside a large city in China. Almost as far as we could see in any direction, the hills and valleys were dotted with little mounds. (Some of the valleys, however, were under cultivation.) How came all these little mounds, some round, some long, some large and some small, some carefully covered over with fresh green sod, and others greatly weather-beaten and nearly washed away by the rains of the season? These mysterious little mounds mark the last resting-places of thousands of Chinese. Should the mortal remains in a mound be those of a child, little or no attention is shown it; but should it be those of a father or a mother, the relatives who are left behind do not fail to show great respect and attention to the spirit of the departed one. Should they not render such attention, they believe the spirit has power to inflict upon them great sorrow and adversity.

Some of their methods of showing respect I have observed to be as follows: After a body is prepared for burial, candles and incense are kept burning, near the head and the feet; also bowls of rice and other food, with a pair of chopsticks, are placed within easy reach, for the use of the spirit. On the day of the funeral some one is hired to scatter representations of paper money along the road, just ahead of the bier. In determining the position of the coffin at the grave, great care is taken to have the head turned directly toward some favorite temple, that the spirit may have no trouble in finding its way there. Before the casket is covered with sod, a religious ceremony is held in this way: All the relatives present, beginning with the nearest kinsman, kneel down and bow from one to three times, to the one whom they now hold in such great esteem. Even the tiniest children are taught to thus bow before and reverence their ancestor. This being finished, there is then kindled, at the foot of the casket, a small fire of paper money, by which means they believe the value thereof is transported to the spirit-world for the use of their departed one.

A day or two after the funeral, and on special feast-days, the near relatives carry food to the grave and offer the food to the spirit by placing it in bowls before the grave. They also again burn paper money or incense. While the fire burns, and the food remains to be received by the spirit, a woman, usually the nearest relative, kneels by the side of the grave and begins a long-drawn-out season of lamenting and wailing for the sorrow that has come upon her on account of the death of the one by whose grave she is kneeling. She soon almost prostrates herself. During this season of weeping, she enumerates over and over, all the virtues and good qualities of the departed one, and begs him to come back to her. She usually continues in this frenzy until some one who has accompanied her, pulls her up, bidding her cease the wailing. The bowls of food previously offered to the spirit are now given to the children or carried home for others to eat. By this manner of worship the woman is supposed to show great honor and reverence to the deceased, whether he was her father, brother, husband, or son.

Well do I remember the strange feelings that came over me the first few times I witnessed from my window such a scene as I have just described. I felt such a longing to go to the weeping woman, put my arms around her, and comfort her sad heart. But to my utter astonishment, within two or three minutes after all her touching lamentations she was up laughing, talking, and having a jovial time with those about her! Whence came those agonizing groans, and whither had they flown? Had "He who is touched with the feeling of our infirmities" comforted her heart? Had the God of heaven, who is a present help in every time of trouble, stretched forth his loving hand to dry her tears of sorrow? Ah, no; sadly enough, no. Believe me, reader, when I say that these superstitious women worshiping the spirits of departed ones have a form of sorrow and make a great pretense of distress, but that, in reality, it is only a custom or habit which has been copied from their grandmothers for generations back. This may seem hard to believe, but one thing which convinced me the quickest was that they all have precisely the same tune or swing to their wailing. After hearing it once or twice, you always recognize it afterwards, wherever you are, whether you see the person or not. It is like a recitation or song committed to memory. There may be no signs whatsoever of sorrow until after the woman has taken her place beside the grave, when she immediately begins in tones that could probably be heard, on a quiet day, a quarter of a mile away, and continues wailing in the same pitch until some one bids her cease, when her outward appearance of sorrow ceases as abruptly as it began. I do not mean to say that never is there any real sorrow mingled with the outward form. There may be, but it is the outward form which constitutes the worship and which every woman seems to know how to perform when the occasion presents itself.

Now permit me to tell something concerning the worship of idols. Originally, I had the idea that the inside arrangement of a heathen temple was very much the same as that of a Christian chapel; namely, that seats were orderly arranged for the worshipers and that the idols would be standing in the front where the pulpit should be. But upon my first visit to a temple, I saw that I was mistaken. At or near the temple door stand two very large, fierce-looking idols, known as guards of the temple. Arranged all around the sides are numerous other idols, of various kinds and sizes. But in the center of the building stands one or more large idols, who are supposed to impart different kinds of blessings to the worshiper. Standing near by are a number of incense-pots, from which ascends smoke continuously on worship-days. On the floor can be seen a number of thick, round mats, on which the worshipers kneel as they bow before the idols. They do not have fixed hours of worship and all assemble at the appointed time, but at any time throughout the day few or many may go in and bow before whatever idols are supposed to bestow the kinds of blessings desired. The idol is not supposed to give out the blessing at the time the worshiper bows before him, as some readers may have believed. For instance, at the beginning of a new year, if a man bows before the god of wealth, he does not expect the idol to hand out money to him, but rather he expects that during the coming year he shall have financial prosperity.

I remember once seeing a father bow before an idol, then take his three little children, one by one, show them how to kneel upon the mat, fold their little hands, and bump their heads several times upon the floor in front of the hideous idol, of which the little ones were afraid. The father noticed that I was observing closely the procedure. When it was all finished, he looked at me with a smile, as if to say, "Didn't they do well?"

These things can not but make sad the heart of a child of God. Catching a glimpse now and again of a bit of real idol-worship helps one to realize that the church, in evangelizing the world, has indeed a mighty undertaking. From a human standpoint, it may seem impossible, but with God all things are possible.

Deliverance from Discouragements and Extremism

EXPERIENCE NUMBER 13

Along the narrow way that leads to heaven, the Christian meets with many experiences that to him seem strange and inexplicable. That at times he should walk in light and then again in darkness; that sometimes he should run with ease and then again be compelled (as Bunyan puts it) "to fall from running to going, and from going to clambering upon his hands and his knees, because of the steepness of the place"; that he should stand today upon the mountain-top of glory and tomorrow find himself plunged into the valley of despondency and gloom; that today he should feel so clearly his Savior's presence, and tomorrow be left seemingly so entirely to himself; all these and many other things of like nature tend to puzzle and confuse the souls of pilgrims on the way to glory. That discouragements and disappointments would come from outside sources almost all have expected, but that the inward life should be changeful and varied in any wise many have not thought consistent with true Christian experience.

VARIED EXPERIENCES

Some, upon discovering that the Christian's pathway leads not always through verdant valleys and beside still waters, conclude that the way is too often rough and that therefore the prize is not worth the running, become discouraged and turn back into sin. Others, after wondering and seeking in vain for a way always bright and easy, and learning that all Christians have similar experiences of inward light and shade, conclude that these things are part of the way and determine to take them as a matter of course and make the best of them. They consider the prize too great to miss, and so they press on at any cost, having settled down to endure what must be endured and to enjoy what may be enjoyed, hoping some day for an end to it all, but never discovering the causes, or being able to think the thoughts of God concerning their difficulties.

Another class can not be satisfied with this condition of mingled light and shade. Their souls must ever see the face of God, and with nothing short of that can they abide content. They would make any sacrifice if only the glory and joy they desire might be theirs, and without it they can not be still. Everywhere they turn crying, "Wherefore hidest thou thy face," "Make me to know my transgression and my sin" (Job 13:23, 24); and, like Job again, 'they go forward, but he is not there; and backward, but they can not perceive him'; on the right and left they seek, but can not find him (Job 23:8, 9). But they never quiet their souls sufficiently for God to tell them the causes of the conditions which they so much deplore.

Yet another class of Christians go through like experiences with the others, but somehow God by his grace enables their hearts, perhaps after years of struggling, to settle down at last into a state of stillness and calm submission where he can teach them the causes of their troubles and so bring them out into that "wealthy place" which is the normal state of a mature Christian. Then they can sing with Job, "I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear; but NOW mine eye seeth thee" (Job. 42:5).

In religious as truly as in physical and temporal affairs, there is never an effect without an adequate cause. If the Word of God loses its richness, if darkness falls upon the soul, if it is hard to pray, if there is a lack of victory in any respect, there is a reason, a sufficient cause for such a condition. Let it be understood here that the causes are not always, in fact often are not, sins. Much confusion has arisen from imagining that every chastening of the Lord is the punishment of some sin, when, in fact, each of God's sons must endure chastisement that they may become in a fuller sense partakers of his holiness. Thus, we conclude that all the unpleasant experiences with which we meet in the upward way must be for the sake of eliminating something of self and of conforming us more to the divine image. We do not meet them simply because they are in the way, but they are in the way because we need them. Hence the best way to meet all such things is to bring them quickly to Father, not inquiring impatiently, "Why must I suffer so?" but rather: "What is there in my nature that makes this suffering necessary? What is it that thou art endeavoring to do for me? And how may I conduct myself so as to receive the benefit?"

TESTS IN EARLY CHRISTIAN LIFE

Happy is the child of God who can say that from the day of his conversion he has never sinned nor grieved the Spirit of God. Such, however, has not been the experience of the writer. For several years I was plunged, sometimes within the space of a few hours, from extreme happiness and joy into deepest gloom and sadness. Weeks of walking in the joy of the Lord often terminated in some sad failure, causing untold misery of soul. When faith again gained the victory, praises in the day and songs in the night were mine until some other episode or depression of feeling caused me anxiety and fear. In spite of God's matchless grace and patient endeavor to teach me the lessons of absolute dependence and humble trust in him, this condition continued until gradually and almost imperceptibly my soul reached a place where I seemed past feeling, joy was no longer mine, love seemed a sensation foreign to my heart, the power of prayer was gone, and I felt that God had indeed forsaken me. My testimonies (for I was not conscious of any sin and could not give up my hope in Christ) sounded to my own ears as "tinkling cymbal and sounding brass."

That a soul who commits no known sin and who never loses the determination to serve God could get into such a state seems incredible. Such, however, was my condition, and I have met some who are on the way to just such a place of confusion, others who have reached and are now suffering in the same state of misery, and still others who have passed through and found that sweet rest of soul so plainly promised to all who come to Jesus. Such, then, as may be passing through or who are entering upon such experiences, I trust to be able to show how my feet came to sink into the miry clay and how at last God graciously set me upon the solid rock of his eternal truth and gave me new songs of praise and love once again.

A DEEPER SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE

For the two years intervening between my conversion and the time when I was enabled to make a complete consecration and receive an experience which I had not before attained, I enjoyed and endured the experiences common to the Christian in his early religious life. Many times I presented myself to God for cleansing, but as often failed to receive the Holy Ghost, because I could not believe unless I should have such manifestations of his incoming as some others had received. At last, in desperation, being confident that I had yielded all to God, I determined to believe that he did cleanse my heart and give me the Holy Spirit whether I ever received any feelings or not; for had not the immutable God promised, and could his word be broken? After a severe testing of this decision, the Holy Spirit came into my heart, cleansing it and filling me with joy unspeakable and full of glory. "Now," I thought, "surely all my difficulties are past, and I shall walk in glory the rest of my life." This bubble soon burst, however; for in my very testimony to the gracious infilling of the Spirit, I was shown a degree of self and a lack of humility, which, had I understood the truth of the matter, should have sent me in faith to the throne of grace for a supply of what I lacked, but which, instead, I allowed to throw me into a state of doubt and fear from which I did not emerge for some days. The agony of soul which I suffered through not understanding the fact that I had an individual self-life with which I must reckon, even though I was sanctified, can be understood only by those who have become victims to doubts in a like manner. After a time faith became stronger, the seasons of depression became fewer, and my soul lived upon the wing. Prayer was a delight; the reading of the Word filled me with praise; meeting the people of God was the joy of my life; and every newly revealed truth made my soul leap for gladness.

GLORYING IN SELF

I came at last to revel in my experiences. Insensibly to myself, I gloried in MY joy, MY victory, MY trueness to God. Others told of trials and difficulties; my testimonies were full of victory and praise, and I rejoiced in the fact. Little by little I began to notice the faults and failures of others, and having begun to think so much of what I was, I had but a little step to go to make a comparison of their faults with my virtues. As I remember, I did this all quite unconsciously; but a brother at last said to me, "I fear you are losing that burning love for others which you once had." Thus reproved, I sought the Father in a very simple prayer that he would fill me again with that sweetness and tenderness so necessary for a child of God. That he answered no one could doubt, least of all I myself. A passion for souls took hold upon me. No labor was too hard, no sacrifice too great, if only I could influence a soul for Jesus. I felt a tenderness of soul toward those whom I had formerly criticized, and whereas I had avoided them, now I felt a drawing toward them, and though I believed (because some in whom I had confidence warned me of it) that they possessed very serious faults, someway I could not see them so plainly.

I was young in years, and oh, so ignorant! If only at that time my wisdom had been equal to my love for God and souls, how much of sorrow I might have been saved! How hard the Spirit of God tried to keep me from taking counsel with self and others! but I had yet to develop that individuality which can stand alone with God in sunshine or tempest and at the same time hold an attitude of humble, submissive love to the brethren. I needed that single eye which sees only God and is not occupied with self or others, except in humbly loving and serving them. Partly through a lack of understanding, but more especially because spiritual pride was gaining a foothold in my heart, making it impossible for me clearly to distinguish the voice of the Spirit of God, I failed to heed his warnings, and entered an experience of darkness and gloom, lighted by a very few rays of his divine presence, which continued over a period of several years.

CRITICIZING OTHERS

Gradually my former experience was repeated. Criticism of others slowly but surely took the place of fervent charity. Contemplation of self and self-complacency supplanted meditation on God and the humble realization of my need of his constant help. Self-sufficiency succeeded humble dependence upon the Lord. All this was utterly uncomprehended by my heart, and soon I began vaguely to wonder why I did not love secret prayer as formerly, why the Word did not seem so good to me as before, and why my thoughts ran so much upon myself and others, whereas in times past the Lord had been the Alpha and Omega of my meditations. My zeal for the truth did not abate. My public devotions were earnest and apparently spiritual, but deep within my soul I knew that there was a difference. However, I was so much taken up with helping others do right that I had not much time to attend to my own needs. God had given me much light, many things for my personal benefit. These I was very anxious for others to see; for if they were good for me, why not for others also? Thus, I endeavored to force my convictions upon all I met. I loved their souls and my actions were born of a desire for their best good, but my attitude must have repelled rather than have attracted them. Anxiety to see every one get as much as possible as quickly as possible, made me oversolicitous and exacting.

At this time I came in contact with some who were inclined to lower the standard in some respects and give more room for looseness of walk and conversation than was expedient. These I looked upon at first with pity, then with indignation, and at last as wilful deceivers. At this stage, I think, the last vestige of divine tenderness vanished from my soul, and I entered the conflict determined to vindicate the truth and see the standard upheld. When efforts were made to discover to me my faults, I could see only theirs. If it was suggested to me that I was lacking in love, I felt that judgments instead of love should be meted out to them. Instead of feeling free in their presence, I felt like avoiding them and almost feared to be with them. This I ascribed to the bad spirit which I felt actuated them. Had I only known how, I might have held to the true standard in righteousness and also in mercy, but I could see no middle ground. Either I was right and they wrong or the opposite was true. And I thought that if I was wrong at all I must be wholly wrong. I had not at that time seen the truth that God judges us by our motives, and condemns or excuses us as we have or do not have an earnest determination to serve him and do his will. So any attempt to recognize those who were failing in doing some of what I was sure was the will of God only resulted in terrible confusion to my soul.

WARNED BY A DREAM

At last God in mercy gave a dream to a brother who was trying to help us. I can not recall it perfectly, but to the best of my recollection, it was somewhat as follows: He thought that he was in the center of a beautiful stream of water, clear as crystal. The banks on each side were perpendicular and very high. On each bank was a large bundle to which was attached a strap. The brother was trying hard, but without success, to pull those bundles into the stream. In the midst of his exertions he awoke. Wondering what was in the bundles, he looked to the Lord and received this solution: The crystal stream represented God's eternal truth; the obstinate bundles contained a list of things which he gave to us somewhat as follows:

TRUTH

Human Reasoning | Legality | Zeal for spirituality | Great claims to spirituality Voluntary humility | Harshness Independence | Self-sufficiency Headiness | Self-will Criticism | Criticism Loose handling of Word | Zeal for written commands Exaltation of Spirit above Word | Exaction Undue liberty | Bondage Compromise | Fanaticism

INDIFFERENCE OR DOUBTS