Part 4

I shall never forget an experience I had in a revival in Hjorring, Denmark. We had rented a large hall, and the first evening there were about five hundred people present. I had been passing through some very hard trials just before this meeting, but the trial reached its climax as I stood before that audience. I did not feel the help of the Holy Spirit at all as I was preaching. I went to my room that evening with a heavy heart and spent some time on my knees in earnest prayer.

Later it was made clear to me why God permitted me to pass through this trial. The following Sunday evening the power of the Holy Spirit was poured out upon that audience in such a measure that it was almost impossible for the people to resist it. There were about 750 people present, and most of them stayed for the altar-service. There was not room at the altar for those who wanted to seek God, so the people fell on their knees and began to pray, and all over the hall one could hear sinners crying to God for mercy. Many of them were saved. The meeting did not close until after midnight. I then saw that the reason why God had permitted me to pass through that test was that he might prepare me for the great blessing presently to be poured out upon the meeting.

ALL-NIGHT MEETING

In Lokken, Denmark, the people of God gathered one evening for a special meeting. The word of God became so precious to us that we could not leave the place. A large number testified and after midnight we had an ordinance-meeting, which was followed by a sermon, and that by an altar-call. Several came forward and sought the Lord for sanctification, and a few who were so much interested that they could not leave, came and were saved. The altar-service was broken up when a brother came in and exclaimed, "Hurry up, or you'll miss the train." This was the morning train, which left at five o'clock. The good work continued at this place, and there were open doors for me to preach the gospel in all parts of the kingdom where before warnings had been published against me.

MEETING A PHILOSOPHER

During my stay in Copenhagen it was my privilege to become acquainted with an educated young man, a doctor of philosophy, who had been influenced by higher critics, such as have doubted the miraculous accounts given in the Holy Scriptures. When I was introduced to him, I noticed that he thought it would not be very difficult for him to weaken my faith and confidence in regard to religious matters. He immediately expressed his desire to have some private talks on religious questions, to which I gladly consented, but greatly feeling my need of special wisdom and grace from God. We would often sit up until after midnight, but I enjoyed these conversations and discussions, for they gave me an understanding of the position that such persons generally take in regard to religion.

One evening he accompanied me to the country, where I held a meeting in a private home. About fifteen minutes after I had entered the pulpit, I noticed that a deep conviction settled down upon him. Tears filled his eyes, and he was unable to hide his emotions. One night at one-thirty in the morning he said to me: "I have a question I want to ask you. I have had your life under my microscope for a while and have come to the conclusion that you are one of the happiest and most contented young men I have ever met. Still I have noticed that you have no interest whatever in the enjoyments and pleasures that other young men of your age seem to be so taken up with. Tell me, what is the source of your happiness?" My reply was, "The source of my joy and happiness is the Christ that you are trying to deny." Tears filled his eyes, and he said to me, "In my public lectures and discourses and with my pen I have tried to influence people against Christianity, but now I have found that Christianity can satisfy and make happy; so I will never use my influence in that way any more." I did not have the privilege of seeing this young man converted, but I am sure that some day I shall meet him in heaven.

TRUSTING THE LORD

When I entered the gospel field, I decided that I should trust God to supply all my needs. My father upon bidding me good-by said, "Now, my son, if you ever need help financially, you must let me know, and I shall be glad to help you." I thanked my father, but told him that he should not feel under obligations to me more than to any other missionary and that it was my intention to trust God.

I paid my own fare to Europe with the exception of one dollar, which was given me by a kind brother. For a while I got along well, for I had a little personal money; but the time came when I needed help. I especially remember one occasion when I needed some means. I prayed and wept before the Lord as a child before its father, asking the Lord what he was going to do with me now. After I had prayed a while, the Lord assured me that my prayer was heard. Two days later I received a money-order from a brother in South Dakota and was able to meet all my obligations and even had some to spare. Praise the Lord!

Another time during my stay in Norway I needed a certain amount of money and began to pray to God concerning the matter. The amount needed was about twenty dollars. A few days from that time I received a money-order for eleven dollars from some one in Copenhagen from whom it would have been altogether unreasonable for me to expect financial help. But this person wrote that God had made it clear that this money should be sent to me. I also received a letter from a man in America with a money-order for ten dollars. He wrote: "I am sending you ten dollars, and feel that I must send it off immediately. Hope you will receive it in time." My needs were supplied, and you can be sure I was a happy man. I have learned by experience that there is no life happier or nobler than the life that is fully surrendered and consecrated to God.

The Secret of a Perfect Life

EXPERIENCE NUMBER 6

A little more than half a century ago I drew my first breath of life. It was a day in early May, so I have been told: the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the early flowers were in bloom. It is not to be supposed that my environment in life's early hour had any influence upon the passions of my soul; nevertheless, from my earliest recollection I have been an ardent lover of the esthetical in nature. Many of the days of my childhood were spent wandering through the fields in the bright sunshine, admiring and culling the flowers; rambling through the leafy wood, listening with glad heart to the songs of birds; or sitting on the mossy bank of the rippling brooklet delighted by the music made by its crystal waters as they played among the rocks.

But the happy, innocent days of childhood do not last always: the sun does not always shine, nor the birds sing; neither do the flowers always bloom along our way. Oh, if we could only have been overlooked--many of us have thought in the dreary days of after-life--by Father Time and been left behind to be always in the green, sun-lit fields of childhood, how happy we should have been! But it was not so; and now, since I have found the riches of grace, I am glad it was not so. No one can escape the onward-leading hand of Time. He will lead us, despite our protests, into days where the sun has ceased shining, where the birds have flown to a more genial clime, and where the flowers have faded. As our much-loved poet has said,

"Into each life some rain must fall-- Some days must be dark and dreary."

My life has been a confirmation of these words.

MY FIRST SIN

Among the recollections of my early childhood, one is more deeply impressed on my mind than any other, so deeply and firmly stamped that the many and varied experiences of fifty years have failed to make it less clear and distinct to the vision of memory than it was the day it occurred. It was the committing of a sin. It may have been my first wilful transgression, but, however that may be, it was one that caused an awful sense of guilt to come into my heart, and I trembled, as it were, in an unseen presence. No one had ever spoken to me of God, of shunning the wrong, or of doing the right, except my mother (sweet today is my memory of her); so I carried my trouble to her, and in her presence the tempter led me into falsehood, so that I was made more wretched than before.

GETTING DEEPER INTO SIN

The days sped on; and after a few years, I had won the title of "Bad Boy." Though the sins of those youthful days (over which I prefer to throw the relieving mantle of forgetfulness) were dark and deep, I did not altogether lose my love for the beautiful and the good. In those shadowy days, a ray of sunlight would now and then break through, a bird-note would be heard, and a fragrant flower would raise its drooping head. In such hours, I would get a glimpse of a better life. An unseen hand would set before me a picture of a pure life, and in my fancy I would see myself a good man. Oh, that the dreams of those youthful days were more perfectly fulfilled! but I must give praise to God for what he has wrought in me.

Many a time at the midnight hour in those youthful days, after I had left some den of vice, there would be whisperings in my soul of a higher, nobler life. As I, in my fancy, gazed down through the years, the angel of goodness would shift before me bright pictures of the different characteristics of a holy life. At this distant day, on looking back, I am surprized to note in what trueness the Holy Spirit set before me the ideal godly life.

But I must be brief, as only a few pages of this work are allotted to me in which to tell you how I found--or, rather, what I found to be--the secret of a perfect life.

MY CONVERSION

I was converted at the age of twenty-eight. A few months later, realizing the need of a deeper spiritual life, I yielded myself a living sacrifice to God, and he gave me the desire of my heart. Bless his name! To tell you the joy of my soul in these experiences, is immeasurably beyond the power of my pen. The happiness of a pure life fancied in the day-dreams of my youth were more than realized. Although I was of a highly imaginative mind, the joy my heart found in the riches of redeeming grace was numberless times greater than the fancied joys pictured to my mind in my boyhood hours.

My heart now flowed out in a gushing stream of love to God, and my mind glowed with thoughts of him. It was the poet Milton who said: "As to other points, what God may have determined for me, I know now; but this I know--that if he ever instilled an intense love of moral beauty into the breast of any man, he has instilled it into mine. Ceres, in the fable, pursued not her daughter with a greater keenness of inquiry than I, day and night, the idea of perfection." And I think the same was true of me.

Early in my religious life I became conscious that the law of development is written in the Christian heart, and that this law, if given full scope, will raise us year after year into higher degrees of perfection. The Holy Spirit revealed to me also at this time the secret of attaining to this perfect life by a natural growth in grace day after day. In love and humility lies the secret of a perfect and successful Christian life. The earnestness with which we seek God is in proportion to our love for him. Just as truly as the seven colors are woven together in one white ray of sunlight, so truly are the laws of a perfect life gathered up and fulfilled in the life of those who love God. "Love is the fulfilling of the law." No man can escape the effect of breaking a law of love. What fragrance is to the flower, obedience is to love. Any act of unfaithfulness to God or man sounds a false note on the golden harp of love. He who loves truth intensely will dwell with truth; he who loves purity of thought will think only on things that are pure. Vain thoughts will he hate. He who loves learning will seek after learning and just to that intensity of his love for it. He who loves home will dwell at home as much as possible, and home will become sweeter home. He who loves God will dwell with God, will seek after God, thereby strengthening his affection for God and daily growing into his perfection.

HUMILITY NEEDED

But love alone will not suffice; humility is needed that love may be rightly directed. If humility be lacking, love unconsciously begins to center in self. With a feeling of shame I confess that twice in my life since becoming a Christian, I have lost the ballast of humility so that love went astray. I thought to love God and be faithful; I thought that I was attaining to greater love; but to my surprize, when the Holy Spirit set my heart before me in the clear light of pure love, I found within that awful, ghastly, defiling principle of self-love.

If your soul loves the perfect life, "humble yourself under the hand of God" and "keep yourself in his love." After years of experiences and some sad failures, I have found, with a greater certainty than ever, that love ballasted by humility is the secret of a happy, holy life. I trust that during the remaining days of my life my soul shall flourish like the palm-tree, and grow strong like the cedars of Lebanon, and that I shall develop into that greater fulness of God--into a more perfect image of him.

Today I know that "God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him." As my inner man is renewed day by day, to my spiritual eyes the ideal perfect life grows in loveliness. As I journey on toward the setting of life's sun, I can see farther into the beyond, catch clearer glimpses of unseen things, hear more distinctly the songs of angels, scent in greater sweetness the fragrance from the flowers that grow in that celestial land, and feel the beauty of the Lord growing upon me. I have passed through the furnace flames; but God has brought me through, and he will bring you through.

A PERFECT IDEAL

Have there been times in your life when a glowing feeling crept into your heart and you beheld a vision of ideal perfection? Oh, be "obedient to the heavenly vision," remembering this, that the secret of approach to your ideal is love and humility. Humility will keep you in the right path as love hurries you on after your ideal. Neither the rocks, the thorns, the waves, nor the furnace flames, retard the lover in his race for a perfect life when the vision is kept clear before his soul. Have you made failures? So have I--greater failures, perhaps, than any you have made or ever will make; but the God who transforms the caterpillar into the butterfly will transform you into his perfect image if you only love him intently and be submissive to all his will.

Conversion of a Young Jewish Rabbi

EXPERIENCE NUMBER 7

I was born in an orthodox Jewish family. When I was but four years of age, my parents took me to England and put me in charge of the late Rabbi Horowitz of London to fully teach me the basis of rabbinical life. At the age of seventeen years I completed my course of instruction as a fully legalized rabbi, but was too young to take the responsibilities of a district or synagog. At that time I returned to the United States and soon drifted into socialism and became a socialist orator, traveling from city to city and State to State, until I left the first principles of my rabbinical teaching.

While traveling through Canada I became acquainted with an anarchist and partly accepted his belief. I strayed so far away from my early teaching that from time to time while speaking, I would hold up my Hebrew Bible and tear it to pieces, cursing God and denying that there was a God. I really became so hardened that I almost believed in my heart that there was no God.

On the twenty-sixth day of October, 1907, I came to Chicago, and while I was speaking that night on the platform, holding the Hebrew Bible, tearing it, and ready to curse God, there came a sudden strong voice, as it were, and, to my surprize, repeated to me the following words: "They shall look upon me whom they have pierced, and they shall mourn after him as one mourneth for its only begotten, and they shall be in bitterness after him as one is in bitterness after his first-born."

While I listened to this, I thought that some one was behind the platform speaking these words. I looked behind the platform, but could find no one. When I resumed my speech, the voice came again speaking the same verse, and I became almost paralyzed for a while. After the meeting was over, as I walked toward my apartments, I heard the voice for the third time, speaking to me in stronger terms than ever. The miserable feelings came stronger and stronger. In fact, I began to look for peace to my conscience, but did not know how to find it. In this trouble of soul, no one among all the orators, Jewish rabbis, or religious people of different denominations came up to tell me how to do better nor to give me advice.

I left Chicago for New York, but could not find rest. The words of that voice never left me day or night. One night, while walking the streets of New York looking for something to comfort me, I saw a sign reading, "Men Wanted for the United States Army." At nine o'clock the next morning I went to the recruiting-station and asked for an application-blank. The man at the station thought it strange that a Jew would come to enlist, but he gave me an application-blank. I filled it out and was examined and sent to Ft. Slocum, New York, where I was sworn in for three years' faithful service for the United States Army. After I enlisted I began to look for peace; but the more I looked, the worse and more trouble came to me. In fact, persecutions from different soldiers were very bitter because I was a Jew and did not do what they were doing.

While in Ft. Slocum I contracted fever and was taken to a hospital. From Ft. Slocum I was sent to Ft. Sill, Oklahoma, where I was assigned to Battery B, First Field Artillery. There was only one Jewish man besides me amongst over three hundred Roman Catholics, and they believed in making things hot for us, so the more I looked for peace the worse misery and persecutions I found.

On Decoration Day, 1908, they were playing football, and after the game they went into the kitchen, procured large butcher knives, and came out to cut the "sheenies" up. When we saw them coming with the knives, we ran into the tailor-shop and locked ourselves in, hiding underneath mattresses between the covers. They broke the door, but through Providence they could not find us. Then for the first time since I had embraced socialism I began to think there was a God, since our lives were so spared.

On the sixth of June we went bathing in the Red River on the reservation, and the boys came and turned us head down and feet up in the water and wanted to drown us, but it seemed that through Providence I was once more saved from being destroyed by these blood-thirsty men. Upon our return, we found the tailor-shop flooded. This was reported to the commander, but no action was taken in regard to this or any other case of persecution.

We decided to desert the army after pay-day. When pay-day came, I had coming to me about $200 from the tailor-shop and $13 as pay for the month from the army, but out of the $200 I collected only about $70. That afternoon we walked to Lawton, Oklahoma, to get the train from there to St. Louis. Upon our arrival at St. Louis, the other man got a job, and I wrote to my uncle in Chicago, who sent me a ticket to come to Chicago. When I arrived there, he advised me to go to Canada and said that he would support me all the time that I was there, as they would apprehend me in the United States for a deserter.

I went to Canada, but was still in much distress. Some time later I had a desire to leave Vancouver, British Columbia, and go over the border into the State of Washington, but went under the assumed name of Friedman. While under that name I looked for a position, but could not find one; so I cabled to my parents for money and two weeks afterward I received enough money to open up a little store. I took for my next name Feldman. I opened a book-store, but within three months I lost almost $3,000. Then I left Seattle, Washington, for Tacoma under the name Gray.

Three weeks later I left Tacoma for Portland, Oregon, under the name of Grayson, where I looked up a friend of mine. He was at that time manager of the Oregon Hotel. The next morning I was more miserable than ever before and thought that I was sick. The night preceding I related to my friend all my troubles, with the exception of my being a deserter from the army.

While I was looking for a charity physician who could give me something to relieve my distress and trouble, I found a Salvation Army man and asked him if he knew of any physician who worked for charity and would give me treatment. He told me that he had a friend who was a physician and who was a lover of Jewish people. This was the first time that I ever heard that a Christian loved a Jew.

I went to the office of the doctor, whose name was Estock, and he gave me a cordial welcome. Putting his right hand on my right wrist and his left hand around my neck, he said that he loved the Jews because his Savior was a Jew and that he was glad God had sent me to his office in answer to his prayers. I was dumbfounded and unable to answer. The doctor said, "You do not need a physician for your body, but you need the Lord Jesus to heal your soul, for your trouble is with your soul, and the Lord Jesus is able to save you from your distress and troubles." He gave me a little bottle and said: "Here is a little medicine, but you do not need it. The only thing that will help you is prayer, and I will 'phone to my wife and ask her to pray for you, and I will also pray for you. This will be the only way you will get peace."

The next morning as I was offering my thanks to him he said, "Do not thank me, but thank God that he sent his only begotten Son, that through him such poor unworthy people as we should be saved through his love."

"What can this mean?" I answered. "Is there a God that will love such a man as I am?--a man who curses him? a man that stamped his Bible under his feet and fought against him? Is it true that he will love me so?"

The doctor answered, "He died for such men as you, that he might save you." He further said: "My house belongs to the Lord, and I owe everything to him. The God of Abraham and Isaac is my God, and the God of David and also the Prophets. He is my God, and he is your God, whether you want him or not; and I beg you to come with me to my house."

"It is impossible for me to go into your house," I answered, "because I do not believe that there is a God, and if there is one, I am unworthy to go into such a house."

He pleaded with me further to go, and I went with him. I lived at the doctor's house for thirty days. We had the strongest arguments on Scriptures, he trying to prove to me that Jesus is the Messiah that came to save his people from sin. I contradicted every word of his with the Old Testament Scriptures.

On the thirtieth day in the doctor's house I was more vile than ever before. I got up in the morning looking for the first chance to get even with the doctor because of his persistence in mentioning the Lord Jesus on every occasion. When I came down-stairs, they were ready for breakfast. I sat at the table brewing within myself, full of hatred, malice, and bitterness against them because of their holding up to me the Lord Jesus as my only Savior. While at the table I could not withhold my bitterness, and when they read the Scriptures after the meal, I began to laugh, mock, and curse, calling them all kinds of vile names.