Part 12

Time after time I have labored with those who were sure that their cases were "different" from that of any one else, and that hope was beyond their reach. The situation and feelings seemed so real that no amount of reasoning or evidence to the contrary could change their minds until they became submissive enough to submit themselves to the mercy of God and accept advice and counsel and act upon it. Then they were very soon liberated from the oppressions of the enemy and set free by the grace of God.

One laboring under a deception frequently undergoes as deep suffering of mind and soul as if the situation and conditions were real. A lady once received what was supposed to be an authentic report that her son had been killed in a railway wreck. Circumstances were such that she could receive no communication from him, which apparently added evidence to the truthfulness of the story. Her mother-heart was grief-stricken. In the anguish of her bereavement she refused to be comforted. Later she was told that there was a possibility of his having escaped death, that he was probably yet alive, and that evidence had been received to that effect. No, her feelings were too real, her grief was too great, for her to be deceived, she declared. One day her son arrived home sound and well, and did not even know that there had been a train-wreck at the place whence the report came. The mother then found that her sorrow and grief had been groundless. She accepted the status of affairs, cast aside the false report and her bad feelings, and was happy.

Not long ago I met an old acquaintance, a man above seventy years of age, whom I had not seen for many years. At the time of our former meeting he was enjoying the blessings of a Christian experience and was happy in the service of the Lord. Through devotional neglect, and perhaps for other reasons, he began to entertain doubts concerning his spiritual experience, and he questioned whether or not he had any right, under the circumstances, to lay claim to Christian fellowship with those whom he knew to be spiritual. He knew of nothing sinful that he had done, and he needed not to waver in faith. But the tempter was there to suggest that he had lost his experience and might just as well give up the struggle. He then concluded that the brethren did not have confidence in him, and therefore he dropped his profession.

His heart was still tender, and he did not feel disposed to indulge in sin. In a short time he made "another start" to serve the Lord and tried to repent; but, having so little to repent over, and finding it difficult to have the same earnestness as before, he claimed the victory "by faith," but was soon in "doubting castle" again. These up-and-down experiences continued for many months, during which his spiritual realm was more down than up. Discouragement laid hold upon him, despair followed hard on his track, and the enemy whispered that it was of no use to try any more. The way began to be more and more dreary. Occasionally, however, he was seized with a feeling of desperation to break loose from the state of lethargy into which he had fallen, but alas! his victories were of short duration. These experiences were followed by the accusations of the enemy that he was possessed with devils. Brethren who prayed with him declared that such was not the case.

The darkest scriptures of judgment and everlasting destruction seemed to have been written for him, and, as he viewed the matter, they exactly fitted his case. He had doubted so often when it seemed the Lord was offering a helping hand, that now it was too late; the last cord was severed, the last ray of hope had vanished. It was no difficult matter to believe that he had committed the unpardonable sin, and that God had forever hid his face from him. He resigned himself to the hopelessness of the situation, to meet his fate at the end of his life here upon earth and spend eternity in the regions of the lost. He spent a number of years in this condition.

At the time of our recent visit in a private home, I felt much concerned about his deliverance from such a state and condition. Upon my approaching him on the subject, he immediately informed me that it was useless to waste any of my efforts on him, for his was a hopeless case, as he had sinned against the Holy Ghost. Having met similar cases before, I assured him that there was hope for him, and told him that I could prove by the Word of God and by his own testimony that he had not committed the crime that would cause him to be forever lost, as he had supposed.

Taking my Bible, I turned to Heb. 10:29, which reads as follows: "Of how much sorer punishment, suppose ye, shall he be thought worthy, who hath trodden under foot the Son of God, and hath counted the blood of the covenant, wherewith he was sanctified, an unholy thing, and hath done despite unto the Spirit of grace?"

"Have you trodden under foot the Son of God as herein mentioned?" he was then asked. "No," he replied; "I have never doubted that there is a God nor that Jesus Christ is his Son."

"Have you counted the 'blood of the covenant an unholy thing,' that is, that there is no more virtue in the blood of Jesus Christ than there is in the blood of a cow or some other unholy thing?"

"No, sir. I have never denied the power of the blood of Jesus nor 'done despite to the Spirit of grace,'" he replied.

"Then, according to the Bible and your own testimony, you have not blasphemed against the Holy Ghost, nor, as you say, committed the unpardonable sin by sinning against the Holy Ghost. You must forever cease to entertain the idea that you have committed such a sin."

He reluctantly admitted the truth in regard to that point, but said, "There is such a thing as a man's going too far, of trifling so with God that the Spirit of God will no longer strive with him." It was clearly pointed out to him that he had never reached such an experience and that he should cast aside his doubts and fears and call upon God, and was assured that the Lord would save him. He then declared that he had no will of his own, no power to exercise his will if he had any, and was helpless. I told him that any one who could read human nature would at once conclude that he was a man of strong will-power, and that no doubt he frequently made others aware of that fact. His wife said, "That is true; he knows very well how to exercise his will-power."

He was then told to assert his manhood and take a decided stand, to which he replied:

"I have no manhood; I have no power to assert myself in any way."

"But," I replied, "you have been in this town for the past few days, and have asserted your manhood during your entire visit by acting the part of a perfect gentleman. What you need to do now is to kneel with us here in prayer and yield yourself to God, and he will save you the same as he has saved others who thought they were beyond the reach of mercy."

"But my case is different; my heart is hardened like stone; I can not pray; I have no feeling."

"Almost every one in your condition thinks his case is different. If you act according to the instructions given, you will soon be different. Your heart will be changed. Do your part in making the effort, and the Lord will help you to pray, and you will have all the feeling necessary."

We knelt in prayer, laid our hands upon his head, and with a fervent prayer rebuked the deceptive and binding power of Satan, and asked the Lord to save him. He made an effort to pray, but his few words were soon mingled with his sobs and feelings of deepest contrition. A few minutes later he arose praising God for salvation. His doubts and fears had vanished, and his burden was gone. He was once more a free man and had no more fears of death and the judgment. The next day he returned home with a joyful heart. I have frequently heard from him since that time, and he has always sent a message concerning his victorious life.

There are many others who have been harassed by the enemy in like manner; who have lost all hope of recovering their favor with God; who think that they are "different," "hard-hearted," "hopeless," "have sinned away the day of grace," "are under the control of Satan," or in some such like condition. Yet God in his love is extending mercy and only waiting for them to discard their deceptive ideas and accept his grace.

Spiritual Tests

EXPERIENCE NUMBER 23

It is not always concerning temporal things and business affairs and such like that we are tested. But it is the business of the enemy of souls to contest every step on the way to victory. He will contest our salvation and, if possible, get a person to reason with him; and when you reason with the devil, you find him a good reasoner, if you allow him to follow his own line of thought. He will quote Scripture, and give plausible illustrations and logical reasonings. But when he is met as Christ met him, with a "Thus saith the Lord," "It is written," and then told what is written and where it is written, and such like, he is not very long in taking his departure. But just begin to reason, and he will entangle you in argument until you find yourself badly perplexed, unless, like the Master, you give him a sharp rebuke and command him to take his departure.

Perhaps it would be a benefit to some one for me to give a little of my own personal experience in this respect. At the age of fifteen I was converted, receiving a real change of heart. The enemy of my soul was never able to deny that fact, neither did he undertake it. For about ten years I lived to what light I had, and after that began to obtain more light in regard to entering into a deeper experience of divine life, or entire sanctification. I was away from home and had no one to teach me the way of holiness, but the Lord began to instruct me in his Word, and after a few months I was enabled to see just what the Lord required of me in order to obtain the experience desired.

I had felt a hungering and thirsting for something more, for a deeper experience. I had been taught, however, that this satisfying experience could not be obtained until just before the time of death; but as I read in the Word that without holiness no man should see the Lord (Heb. 12:14), that we were to live in righteousness and holiness all the days of our life (Luke 1:75), and that Jesus in his last prayer (John 17:17-20) prayed that we might have that experience, I began to see very clearly what my privilege was. His Word told me, "As he is, so are we in this world," and, "We ought to walk even as he walked"; and this was a closer walk with God than I had been accustomed to enjoy.

It was not long until I reached the point where I made a full consecration, and died the death to the world, and then, like the apostles for whom Jesus prayed, I was in the world, but not of the world, having had that worldly disposition taken out of my heart. When I reached the point where I positively knew that everything was laid upon the altar Christ Jesus, then I realized of a truth that the altar sanctified the gift, and my heart was cleansed from all unrighteousness. The Bible began to open up to me as a new book, and as I went about my Master's business, doing his will as far as he made it known, I had many rich experiences. Although, being of a very quiet disposition naturally, I could not leap and shout as some, yet it was my privilege to be filled with all the fulness of God.

A few months later I was called by the Lord to accept a responsible position in his work. For some months everything went so smoothly that I had perfect victory all the way along and nothing that I could call a severe trial or battle, because my eyes were stayed upon the Lord. But there came a time for advancing further against the enemy, and the Lord saw it was necessary for me to know more about a perfect faith and trust in him in order to deal with other souls. So he permitted me to be tested, to fit me for the work he had for me to do.

Although my soul had been abounding in the riches of his glory for these months as I was busily engaged in my work, one day a suggestion was made to me by a silent voice that I had not had any overflowing blessings for a few days. This did not disturb me, for I felt at perfect peace with God. But soon the same suggestion was presented again and again. Finally the silent voice or impression came on this wise: "Now you have been in this condition almost a week." I felt that my soul during that time had been at peace with God, and I was trusting my case in his hands. I began, however, to search my consecration, as the accuser suggested that there must surely be something wrong.

I began to search my heart, and said, "If there is anything wrong, Lord, I will make it all right," and I asked the Lord to search me. Feeling that all was fully in the hands of the Lord, I was about to dismiss the matter from my mind; but this suggestion came: "If you were sanctified, you would not have a lack of that great joy." Then I said, "Lord, if I am not sanctified, I am willing to get sanctified." So I began to reconsecrate myself to the Lord, and presently I realized that I was fully consecrated to God. Again I was ready to dismiss the matter, but the voice said, "When a person falls from sanctification, he loses his justification also, because he must commit sin in order to fall." Yes, I realized that was so, and then came the words, "You are not saved." I saw at once that it was the enemy, instead of the Lord, talking to me, and like a flash from heaven I rebuked him. I said, "I know I am saved through the grace of God; yes, and sanctified, too." And I boldly declared it, whereupon the enemy took his departure. He saw that he was the one defeated, instead of me.

The enemy had thought that because I was young in the Lord's work I was unable to know his devices. But the Lord was a match for him, and lifted up a standard against him, instead of allowing me to be defeated and overthrown. The Lord knew just how far to permit me to be tried and tempted. This experience has been a source of much help to me since that time; not only for myself, but in dealing with others. The devil is sure to overstep the mark, and we can have the victory over him as long as we keep our eyes stayed upon the Lord. And we can say like Paul, "I can do all things through Christ, which strengtheneth me."

There are some who worry and fret and have an abundance of trouble when it is their own fault; and if they would put forth as great an effort to gain a victory and keep it as they do to pet their troubles, there would be a wonderful change and the enemy of souls would be defeated.

A few years ago I met a brother who was weighted down with trouble and sorrows much more than with the glory of God, and was much of the time mourning over his trials and temptations, until his lot did really seem to be a sad one. During my Christian experience I had been having sweeping victory over the powers of the enemy, even through the severe trials and temptations, because I had kept my eyes upon the Lord, and had looked for victories instead of trials. In considering the case of the brother, although I was young in the gospel work, I concluded that if people were in such a condition it was their own fault, and that I could feel as bad as any one if I desired. So I concluded to experiment, but first asked the Lord not to permit me to fall into the hands of the devil.

Accordingly, though I had nothing whatever to feel bad about, I threw myself on a couch and began to sigh and try to feel bad over something. It was but a few minutes until I really did begin to feel miserable. Some one came and desired to know if I was in trouble, but I turned away and would not answer. In a short time I was feeling miserable enough to weep and moan, and even bewail my condition. I then went to my room, fastened the door, and began to call mightily upon God for deliverance from such a condition. I had to put forth no little effort and take God at his word and gain the victory over the powers of Satan. I there learned the lesson that any one can feel bad and have a sorrowful time whether or not he really has anything to feel bad about; but I never desired to repeat the experiment. I have also found that God has power not only to deliver from such a condition, but to keep the soul filled with glory even through the severest testings.

The Confession of a Murderer

EXPERIENCE NUMBER 24

While traveling in evangelistic and missionary work a few years ago another minister and I met with a congregation in a Western city. When I entered the place of worship, my eyes fell upon a woman sitting near the altar. She was an object of pity because of her affliction, which was of a very peculiar nature and noticeable at a glance. Although she was a stranger to me and began uttering such expressions as "Praise the Lord!" and "Halleluiah!" yet I felt that I discerned a false spirit and was strongly impressed that she was possessed with a murderous and deceptive spirit. At the close of the service we were asked to pray for her healing. It was evident that she received no help, and although she made a loud profession of religion, my conviction was deepened that my former impressions were correct, and furthermore that she was guilty of murdering an unborn child.

After the next service this woman and her husband invited me to their home. I went with a prayer that God would send conviction upon them and save them from their deception and lost condition. After spending some time in social conversation, I began to talk with them about their spiritual condition. At first there was some resentment; for the enemy of souls had made them believe that it was no great crime, in fact, no crime at all; that she was really justified in committing the deed; that as no one else knew of it and was not likely to know, she could cover her sin and go on with a profession as a Christian and receive the fellowship of other Christian people. She was kindly told that she had a false spirit, one foreign to the Spirit of God.

She broke down and, with tears streaming down her cheeks, confessed that she had destroyed her unborn child, and said that the affliction soon fastened upon her as leprosy did upon Miriam. Not until the time of our visit did she fully realize the heinousness of her sin nor feel the weight of her guilt. By justifying herself in the act and professing religion without repentance, she had opened the door of her heart to deception.

But now as she became awakened to her real condition, the enemy whispered, as he has done to many others under similar circumstances: "It is too late now; there is no hope; for 'they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God'" (Gal. 5:21). She was told that those who do such things and cover their sins or continue to do them without forsaking them and without repenting are the ones who will not inherit the kingdom of God. "He that covereth his sins shall not prosper; but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy" (Prov. 28:13).

Prayer was offered in her behalf, the evil spirits were rebuked, and she realized a gleam of hope for her deliverance, not only from the deception into which she had fallen, but also from her sin. She began to realize that God was ready to forgive her and set her burdened, repentant heart free, and accept her as his child. Oh, how unworthy she felt!

Now came the question, "Must I confess this deed to the church, to my neighbors, and to the world?" "No, the sin you committed was against yourself and against God," I answered, "and it will do the church and the world no good to know of it. In fact, a knowledge of it might be an injury to some weaker ones. You have confessed it to God and he has forgiven you, and as no one else is injured, there is no one else to whom it need be confessed."

When she had been made free from her guilt by the grace of God, she could then come to him with faith for the healing of her body, and she was delivered from her affliction.

Another case was that of a gambler in one of the Western States who had often been warned against the evils of gambling, but who would not heed the admonitions of friends. He continued his life of folly until the time came when, in the midst of his revelry, a contention arose between him and a fellow gambler. The provocation was so great that both drew deadly weapons, and to save his own life and at the same time to wreak vengeance upon the other man, he fired the fatal shot, and his antagonist fell dead at his feet.

Immediately sorrow filled his heart because he had shed human blood, thus making himself a murderer. In a short time he was behind prison-bars to await trial, and the following message was flashed over the wires to his brother: "I am in trouble; killed a man today; come." Brothers, parents, and friends came with their sympathy and tears, money and influence. Court after court convened, and from year to year the case was continued or sentence was rendered and suspended. For a long time he was under sentence of death. Money and influence prolonged the case, and the indications were that it might be deferred many more years if sufficient money was available.

It was while in that dungeon awaiting the fulfilment of the death-sentence that he felt the wooings of the Spirit of the Lord. He read the New Testament and wrote to us to pray for him. He finally confessed his sins to the Lord and found peace to his soul. He then began to appropriate the promises to his own case for deliverance from prison. God honored his faith and the faith of His servants who were offering earnest prayers that he might be delivered. Contrary to the advice of relatives and friends, he dismissed all legal counsel and decided to place his case entirely in the hands of the God of heaven, who delivered Daniel out of the lions' den and Peter out of prison. In a short time his faith was rewarded by a message being flashed over the wires for the authorities to open the prison-doors and let him go free. Since then he has spent much time visiting prisoners and encouraging them to put their trust in the Lord, who is mighty to save.

Making a Complete Surrender

EXPERIENCE NUMBER 25

From the time of my conversion in early life I longed to be useful in helping others to find the way of salvation. But my inability and lack of talent was an apparent barrier, and caused me to almost despair of ever being able to accomplish the desire of my heart.

Though I felt that I was a Christian, yet I had a longing in my soul for a closer walk with God. There were times when I had spiritual struggles within and without, and I did not know how to be an "overcomer," as mentioned in the Bible.

A few years later, while living in Ohio, I was awakened to the fact that the Lord had promised the gift of the Holy Spirit to his believing children and that it was my privilege to obtain that experience wherein I could enjoy that "great grace" which was upon them all who were assembled at one place after Pentecost. My heart yearned for the experience that the people of those apostolic days enjoyed; and as I read about how willing the Lord was to "give the Holy Ghost to them that believe," and read that we were promised the "Comforter," who would abide in our hearts, I decided to have the experience.

My religious instructors gave me no encouragement; for they had not attained to such an experience themselves and did not think it attainable in this life. But undaunted, and determined to have relief for my burdened soul, I sought the Lord earnestly to reveal to me the secret of obtaining that abundant grace which I was convinced was within my reach if I could only learn how to obtain it.