SCENE I.

_A Village.—House, with a sign of_ “George III.”—_Two or three tables._—VILLAGERS _discovered, smoking_. VEDDER, KNICKERBOCKER, RORY, CLAUSEN _at table. Chorus at rise of curtain._

CHORUS.

In our native land, where flows the Rhine, In infancy we culled the vine: Although we toiled with patient care, But poor and scanty was our fare.

SOLO.

Till tempting waves, with anxious toil, We landed on Columbia’s soil; Now plenty, all our cares repay, So laugh and dance the hours away.

CHORUS.

Now plenty, all our cares repay, So laugh and dance the hours away; Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha! So laugh, ha, ha! and dance the hours away.

VEDDER.

Neighbour Clausen, on your way hither, saw you anything of our friend, Rip Van Winkle? Where there’s a cup of good liquor to be shared, he’s sure to be on hand—a thirsty soul.

KNICKERBOCKER.

Truly, the man that turns up his nose at good liquor is a fool, as we Dutchmen have it; but cut no jokes on Rip; remember, I’m soon to be a member of his family: and any insult offered to him, I shall resent in the singular number, and satisfaction must follow, as the Frenchmen have it.

VEDDER.

So, Knickerbocker, you are really determined to marry Rip’s sister, the pretty Alice?

KNICKERBOCKER.

Yes, determined to be a prisoner in Hymen’s chains, as the lovers have it. I’ve got Rip’s consent, I’ve got Alice’s consent, and I’ve got my own consent.

CLAUSEN.

But have you got the dame’s consent, eh?

KNICKERBOCKER.

There I’m dished and done up brown; would you believe it? she calls me a long, scraggy, outlandish animal, and that I look like two deal boards glued together!

RORY.

Here comes Alice, and with her, Rip’s daughter.

_Enter_ ALICE, _with_ LORRENNA. [LOWENA](1)

ALICE.

Come along, loiterer! Woe betide us when we get home, for having tarried so long! What will the dame say?

LORRENNA.

Well, it’s not my fault, for you have been up and down the lane a dozen times, looking for the schoolmaster, Knickerbocker.

ALICE.

Hold your tongue, Miss, it’s no such thing.

LORRENNA.

You know you love him.

ALICE.

How do you know that, Miss Pert?

LORRENNA.

I can see it; and seeing is believing, they say. Oh, you’re monstrous jealous of him, you know you are.

KNICKERBOCKER _advances._

ALICE.

Jealous! I, jealous of him? No, indeed, I never wish to see his ugly face again.

KNICKERBOCKER.

Say not so, sweet blossom of the valley, for in that case I shall shoot myself in despair.

ALICE.

Oh, don’t think of such a thing, for then your ghost might haunt me.

LORRENNA.

And I’m sure you would rather have him than his ghost, wouldn’t you, Alice?

KNICKERBOCKER.

That’s a very smart child. But Alice, sweet Alice, can’t I drop in this evening, when the old folks are out of the way?

ALICE.

Not for the world; if the dame were to find you in the house, I don’t know what would happen.

LORRENNA.

Don’t you know, Alice, mammy always goes out for an hour in the evening, to see her neighbour, Dame Wrigrim; now, if you [_To_ KNICKERBOCKER.] come at eight o’clock, and throw some gravel at the window, there’s no knowing but you might see Alice.

KNICKERBOCKER.

That’s an uncommon clever girl; but, Alice, I’m determined to turn over a new leaf with Dame Van Winkle; the next time I see her, I’ll pluck up [my] courage and say to her—

DAME.

[_Without._] Alice! Alice! odds bodikins and pins, but I’ll give it you when I catch you.

_The_ VILLAGERS _exit._

KNICKERBOCKER.

Run, Alice, run!

[ALICE, LORRENNA _and_ KNICKERBOCKER _run to right._

DAME.

[_Without._] Alice!

[ALICE, LORENNA _and_ KNICKERBOCKER _exeunt hastily_.

RORY.

Egad! the dame’s tongue is a perfect scarecrow!

VEDDER.

The sound of her voice sets them running just as if she were one of the mountain spirits, of whom we hear so much talk. [But where the deuce can Rip be all this while? [RIP _sings without._] But talk of the devil and his imps appear.](2)

_Enter_ RIP VAN WINKLE, _with gun, game-bag, &c._

RIP.

Rip, Rip, wass is dis for a business. You are a mix nootze unt dat is a fact. Now, I started for de mountains dis mornin’, determined to fill my bag mit game, but I met Von Brunt, de one-eyed sergeant—[comma see hah, unt brandy-wine hapben my neiber friend];(3) well, I couldn’t refuse to take a glass mit him, unt den I tooks anoder glass, unt den I took so much as a dozen, [do](4) I drink no more as a bottle; he drink no more as I—he got so top heavy, I rolled him in de hedge to sleep a leetle, for his one eye got so crooked, he never could have seed his way straight; den I goes to de mountain, [do](5) I see double, [d——d](6) a bird could I shooted. But I stops now, I drinks no more; if anybody ask me to drink, I’ll say to dem—[VEDDER _comes down, and offers cup to him._]—here is your [go-to-hell],(7) and your family’s [go-to-hell], and may you all live long and [prosper].(8) [_Drinks._

VEDDER.

Why, neighbour Rip, where have you been all day? We feared some of the [Elfin](9) goblins of the Catskill had caught you.

RIP.

Ha, ha! I never see no ghosts, though I’ve fought mit _spirits_ in my time, ha, ha!

VEDDER.

And they always throw you, eh? ha, ha!

RIP.

Dat’s a fact! Ha, ha, ha!

VEDDER.

But, Rip, where have you been?

RIP.

Oh, very hard at work(10)—very busy; dere is nothing slipped [fun my fingers as was come at abe.](11)

RORY.

They appear to have slipped through your game bag though, for it’s full of emptiness.—Ha, ha, ha!

RIP.

Ho, ho, ho! cut no jokes at my _bag_ or I’ll gib you de sack.

VEDDER.

Come, Rip, sit down, take a pipe and a glass and make yourself comfortable.

RIP.

[Nine, nine—ech con neiched—](12) it behoves a man to look after his interest unt not drink all de while, I shall den be able to manage—

VEDDER.

Your wife, Rip?

RIP.

Manage mine [frow](13)? Can you fly to de moon on a [paper](14) kite? Can you drink all de beer and brandy-wine at one gulp? when you can do dat, mine goot [im himmel](15) you can manage mine [frow]. [_All laugh._(16)

RORY.

Take one glass, Rip.(17)

RIP.

No, I won’t touch him.

VEDDER.

Come, come, lay hold.

RIP.

Now I’ll be [d——d fun](18) I does.

VEDDER.

Well, if you won’t. [_All go to table but_ RIP.

RIP.

Dere is [a](19) drinks, dere is [a] drinks; I have [conquered](20) temptation at last. Bravo resolution! bravo resolution; resolution, you shall have one glass for dat.(21) [_Goes to table._

OMNES.

Ha, ha, ha!

RORY.

Here, Rip, here’s a glass at your service, and as for the contents I’ll warrant it genuine and no mistake. [_Gives_ RIP_ a cup._

RIP.

Rory, here is your [go-to-hell],(22) unt your family’s [go-to-hell], un may you all live long unt [prosper].(23)

RORY.

Come, Rip, give us a stave.

VEDDER.

Yes, yes, Rip, a stave, for the old dame will be after you soon and then we will all have to make a clearance.

RIP.

Oh, tunner wasser! [won’t](24) my old woman skin me when I get home.

VEDDER AND RORY.

Ha, ha, ha! come, the song, the song.

RIP.

Well, here is Rip Van Winkle’s warning to all single fellows.

SONG.—RIP.

List, my friends, to caution’s voice, Ere de marriage knot you tie; It is [the devil],(25) mit shrews to splice, Dat nobody can deny, deny, Dat nobody can deny.

_Chorus._—That nobody can deny, &c.

When a wife to rule once wishes, Mit poor spouse ’tis all my eye, I’m [d——d](26) if she don’t wear de breeches, Dat nobody can deny, deny, Dat nobody can deny.

_Chorus._—That nobody can deny, &c.

Yet dere is a charm about dem, Do dere voices are so high We can’t do mit’em, [_Pause._ Nor we can’t do mit-out ’em, Dat nobody can deny, deny, Dat nobody can deny.

_Chorus._—That nobody can deny, &c.(27)

DAME.

[_Without._] Rip, Rip! I’ll stretch your ears when I get hold of them.

RIP.

[Mine goot im himmel],(28) dere is my frow.

DAME.

[_Without._] Rip! you lazy varmint! Rip!

RIP.

[_Gets under the table with bottle._] Look out, boys! de wild cat’s coming.

_Music._—VEDDER, RORY _and_ CLAUSEN, _at table._—_Enter_ DAME, _with a stick._

DAME.

Where is this wicked husband of mine! odds bodikins and pins! I heard his voice; you’ve hid him somewhere! you ought to be ashamed of yourselves to inveigle a husband from a tender, loving spouse; but I’m put upon by all, because they know the mildness of my temper.—[_They laugh._]—Odds bodikins and curling irons, but some of you shall laugh the other sides of your mouths—I’ll pull your pates for you.(29)

_Music._—_Chases them round table; they exit._—DAME _upsets table and discovers_ RIP.

DAME.

Oh, you Rip of all rips! what have you to say for yourself?

RIP.

Here is your [go-to-hell],(30) unt your family’s, unt may you all live long and [prosper].

DAME.

[_Pulling him down the stage by the ear._] I’m cool—that is to say not very hot: but the mildest temper in the world would be in a passion at such treatment. Get home, you drunken monster, or I sha’n’t be able to keep my hands off you. Tell me, sir, what have you been about all day?

RIP.

Hard at work, my dumpsy dumpsy; de first ting I see dis morning was a fine fat rabbit.

DAME.

A rabbit? Oh, I do like rabbits in a stew; I like everything in a stew.

RIP.

I be [d——d](31) but dat is a fact.

DAME.

Well, well, the rabbit?

RIP.

I was going to tell you, well, dere was de rabbit feeding in de grass.

DAME.

Well, well, Rip?

RIP.

I [puts](32) my gun to my shoulder—

DAME.

Yes,—

RIP.

I takes goot aim mit him.

DAME.

Yes,—

RIP.

I [pulls](33) my trigger, unt—

DAME.

Bang went the gun and down the rabbit fell.

RIP.

Eh? snap went [de](34) gun and off de rabbit run. Ha, ha, ha!

DAME.

No!

RIP.

I be [d——d fun](35) dat is a fact.

DAME.

And you shot nothing?

RIP.

Not dat time; but de next time, I picks me my flint, unt I [creeps](36) up to de little [pond](37) by de old field, unt dere—what do you [tink](38) I see?

DAME.

Ducks?

RIP.

More as fifty black ducks—ducks as big as [a goose](39)—well, I hauls up again.

DAME.

And so will I [_Raising stick._] if you miss fire this time.

RIP.

Bang!

DAME.

How many down?

RIP.

[One!](40)

DAME.

Not more than one duck out of fifty?

RIP.

Yes, a great deal more as [one] duck.

DAME.

Then you shot more than one?

RIP.

Yes, more as one duck,—I shot one old bull.

DAME.

What?

RIP.

I’m [d——d fun] dat is a fact! dat was one down, and [my goot im himmel](41) how he did roar and bellow, unt lash his tail, unt snort and sneeze, unt sniff! Well, de bull puts right after me, unt I puts right away fun de bull: well, de bull comes up mit me just as I was climbing de fence, unt he catch me mit his horns fun de [seat](42) of my breeches, unt sent me flying more as a mile high.—Well, by-and-bye directly, I come down aready in a big tree, unt dere I sticks fast, unt den—

DAME.

You went fast asleep for the rest of the day.

RIP.

Dat’s a fact. How(43) you know dat? you must be a witch.

DAME.

[_Catching him by the collar._] Home, sir, home! you lazy scamp. [_Beating him._

RIP.

But, mine lublicka frow—

DAME.

Home! [_Beating him._

RIP.

[Nine! nine!—](44)

DAME.

Home! [_Beats him._

RIP.

[Mine goot im himmel.](45) [_Music._—DAME _beats him off._

*Footnotes*

1 So spelled in the Kerr version.

2 Assigned to CLAUSEN in the Kerr version. Preceding this bracket,

CLAUSEN. Well, she is a tartar, there’s no denying that. VEDDER. Not but if she were my wife instead of Rip’s. I warrant I’d soon tame her. CLAUSEN. Not you! But where the deuce ...

3 Not in the Kerr version.

4 “but” in K.

5 “but as” in K.

6 “not a” in K.

7 “Goot-hell” in K.

8 “brosber” in K. In this speech, there is a variation in dialect as “v” for “w” in such words as “was,” and “v” for “o” in such a word as “one.”

9 Not in K.

10 "vork" in K.

11 “froo my fingers as vas comeatable,” in K.

12 “Nein, nein” in K.

13 “frau” in K.

14 “baber” in K.

15 “freund, den” in K.

16 Here is given in Kerr, the following:

VEDDER. I wish she was my wife, I’d manage her. RIP. And I wish she vas your vife too, or anybody’s vife, so long as she vasn’t mine vife.

17 RORY’S speech, in K., begins with “Come.”

18 “stewed vhen” in K.

19 “der” in K.

20 “gonguered” in K.

21 In K., variation only in dialect form.

22 “goot-hell” in K.

23 “brosber” in K.

24 “vont” in K. The present edition does not attempt to indicate such slight variations and differences.

25 “der tyfil” in K.

26 “stewed” in K.

27 In this song, “v” takes the place of “w” in K.

28 “Der tyfil” in K.

29 In K. there follows:

VEDDER. Oh. I wish I was your husband, Dame Winkle. [_Exit._ DAME. You, my husband, you! [_To the others._] Out of my sight, reprobates.

30 “goot-hell” in K.

31 “stewed” in K.

32 “buts” in K.

33 “bulls” in K.

34 “der” in K.

35 “stewed but” in K.

36 “creebs” in K.

37 “bond” in K.

38 “think” in K.

39 “gooses” in K.

40 “von” in K.

41 “den” in K.

42 “back” in K.

43 “do” follows “how” in K.

44 “Nein, nein” in K.

45 In K., Rip’s speech is “Ter tyfill but I have cotch him dis time!”