Part 2

_Now._ We shall bargain with you; and nother mock nor scorn-- Take a good cart in harvest, and load it with your corn, And what shall we give you for the leaving?

_Nought._ He is a good, stark labourer; he would fain do well-- He hath met with the good man, Mercy, in a shroud cell: For all this, he may have many a hungry meal. Yet, well ye see, he is politic: Here shall be good corn; he may not miss it; If he will have rain, he may overpiss it; And if he will have compos[t] he may overbliss it A little, with his arse like.

_Man._ Go, and do your labour! God let you never thee! Or, with my spade, I shall you ding, by the holy Trinity! Have ye none other man to mock, but ever me? Ye would have me of your set? Hie you forth, lively! for hence I will you driffe!

[MANKIND _belabours them with his spade_.

_New G._ Alas, my jewels! I shall be shent of my wife!

_Now._ Alas! and I am like never for to thrive; I have such a buffet!

_Man._ Hence, I say, New Guise, Now-a-days, and Nought! It was said beforn: all the means shall be sought To pervert my conditions and bring me to nought-- Hence, thieves! ye have made many a leasing!

_Nought._ Marred I was for cold, but now am I warm! Ye are evil advised, sir! for ye have done harm. By Cock's body sacred! I have such a pain in my arm I may not change a man a farthing!

_Man._ Now, I thank God, kneeling on my knee: Blessed be His name! He is of high degree. By the aid of His grace, that He hath sent me, Three of mine enemies I have put to flight; [_Shows his spade._ Yet this instrument, sovereigns! is not made to defend-- David saith: _Nec in hasta, nec in gladio, saluat Dominus._

_Nought._ No, marry! I beshrew you! it is in spadibus! Therefore, Christ's curse come on your headibus, To send you less might! [_They go out._

_Man._ I promit you, these fellows will no more come here; For some of them, certainly, were somewhat too near! My father, Mercy, advised me to be of a good cheer, And again my enemies manly for to fight. I shall convict them, I hope, every one-- Yet I say amiss; I do it not alone-- With the help of the grace of God I resist my fone And their malicious heart. With my spade I will depart, my worship[f]ul sovereigns! And live ever with labour, to correct my insolence. I shall go fet corn for my land; I pray you of patience; Right soon I shall revert. [_Exit._

[_Enter_ MISCHIEF.]

_Mis._ Alas, alas! that ever I was wrought! Alas! the while I [am] worse than nought! Sithen I was here, by Him that me bought! I am utterly undone! I, Mischief, was here, at the beginning of the game, And argued with Mercy; God give him shame! He hath taught Mankind, while I have be vane, To fight manly again his fone; For, with his spade--that was his weapon-- New Guise, Now-a-days, Nought hath [he] all to-beaten: I have great pity to see them weeping. Will ye list? I hear them cry!

[NEW GUISE, NOW-A-DAYS, _and_ NOUGHT _enter_.]

Alas, alas! come hither! I shall be your borrow. Alack, alack! _veni, veni!_ Come hither, with sorrow! Peace, fair babies! ye shall have a napple to-morrow: Why greet you so, why?

_New G._ Alas, master! alas my privity!

[_Commences to untruss._

_Mis._ A! where? alack! fair babe, ba me! Abide! too soon I shall it see!

_Now._ Here, here! see my head, good master!

_Mis._ Lady, help! silly darling! _veni, veni!_ I shall help thee of thy pain; I shall smite off thy head, and set it on again.

_Nought._ By our Lady, sir! a fair plaster! Will ye off with his head? it is a shrewd charm! As for me I have none harm; I were loth to forbear mine arm. Ye play: _in nomine Patris_, chop!

_New G._ Ye shall not chop my jewels, and I may!

_Now._ Yea, Christ's cross! will ye smite my head away? There! we're on anon; out! ye shall not assay-- I might well be called a fop!

_Mis._ I can chop it off, and make it again.

_New G._ I had a shrewd recumbentibus, but I feel no pain.

_Now._ And my head is all safe and whole again. Now, touching the matter of Mankind, Let us have an interlection sithen ye be come hither; It were good to have an end.

_Mis._ Ho, ho! a minstrel! know ye any aught?

_Nought._ I can pipe on a Walsingham whistle, I, Nought, Nought.

_Mis._ Blow apace! thou shall bring him in with a flowte.

[Titivillus _roars from outside_.

_Titivillus._ I come with my legs under me!

_Mis._ Ho! New Guise, Now-a-days, hark! or I go: When our heads were together I spake of "Si didero."

_New G._ So! go thy way! we shall gather money unto; Else there shall no man him see. Now, ghostly to our purpose, worshipful sovereigns! We intend to gather money, if it please your negligence, For a man with a head that [is] of great omnipotence--

_Now._ Keep your tail! in goodness, I pray you, good brother!-- He is a worshipful man, sirs, saving your reverence! He loveth no groats, nor pence, nor two pence; Give us red royals if ye will see his abominable presence!

_New G._ Not so! ye that mow not pay the tone, pay the tother-- At the good man of this house first we will assay! God bless you, master! ye say us ill, yet ye will not say nay. Let us go by and by, and do them pay! Ye pay all alike? well mu[s]t ye fare!

_Nought._ I say, New Guise, Now-a-days! _Estis vos pecuniatus?_ I have cried a fair while, I beshrew your patus!

_Now._ _Ita vere magister_; come forth now, your gatus! He is a goodly man, sirs! make space and beware!

[_Enter_ TITIVILLUS _dressed devilwise, net in hand_.]

_Titi._ _Ego sum dominantium dominus_, and my name is Titivillus! Ye that have good horse, to you I say, _Caveatis!_ Here is an able fellowship to trise him out at your gates.

[_Loquitur ad_ NEW GUISE.

_Ego probo sic_: sir New Guise, lend me a penny!

_New G._ I have a great purse, sir! but I have no money: By the mass! I fail two farthings of an half-penny; Yet had I ten pounds this night that was.

[_Loquitur ad_ NOW-A-DAYS.

_Titi._ What is in thy purse? thou art a stout fellow!

_Now._ The devil have [thee]! while I am a clean gentleman I pray God I be never worse stored than I am! It shall be otherwise, I hope, or this night pass.

[_Loquitur ad_ NOUGHT.

_Titi._ Hark now, I say! thou hast many a penny?

_Nought._ _No[n] nobis, Domine, non nobis_; by saint Denis! The devil may dance in my purse for any penny; It is as clean as a bird's arse.

_Titi._ Now I say, yet again, _Caveatis_! Here is an able fellowship to trise them out of your gates. Now, I say, New Guise, Now-a-days, and Nought, Go and search the country, anon, that be sought! Some here, some there--what if ye may catch aught-- If ye fail of horse, take what ye may else!

_New G._ Then speak to Mankind for the recumbentibus of my jewels!

_Now._ Remember my broken head in the worship of the five vowels!

_Nought._ Yea, good sir! and the sitica in my arm--

_Titi._ I know full well what Mankind did to you; Mischief hat[h] informed [me] of all the matter through; I shall venge your quarrel, I make God a vow! Forth! and espy where ye may do harm! Take W[illiam] Fide if ye will have any mo-- I say, New Guise! whither art thou advised to go?

_New G._ First, I shall begin at m[aster] Huntington of Sanston; From thence I shall go to William Thurlay of Hanston, And so, forth to Pichard of Trumpington: I will keep me to these three.

_Now._ I shall go to William Baker of Walton; To Richard Bollman of Gayton; I shall spare Master Wood of Fulbourn: He is a _noli-me-tangere_!

_Nought._ I shall go to William Patrick of Massingham; I shall spare Master Allington of Bottisham, And Hammond of Swaftham, For dread of _In manus tuas queck_. Fellows, come forth! and go we hence together!

_New G._ Sith we shall go, let us see well where and whither; If we may be take, we come no more hither; Let us con well our neck-verse that we have not a check.

_Titi._ Go your way--a devil way--go your way, all! I bless you with my left hand: foul you befall! Come again, I warn, as soon as I you call, A[nd] bring your advantage into this place!

[_They go out and leave_ TITIVILLUS.

To speak with Mankind I will tarry here this tide, And assay his good purpose for to set aside; The good man, Mercy, shall no longer be his guide: I shall make him to dance another trace! Ever I go invisible--it is my jet-- And before his eye, thus, I will hang my net To blench his sight; I hope to have his foot met. To irk him of his labour I shall make a frame: This board shall be hid under the earth, privily; His spade shall enter, I hope, unreadily. By then he hath assayed he shall be very angry, And lose his patience, pain of shame! I shall menge his corn with drawk and with darnel; It shall not be like to sow nor to sell-- Yonder he cometh: I pray of counsell; He shall ween grace were wane.

[_Enter_ MANKIND.]

_Man._ Now, God, of His mercy, send us of His sonde! I have brought seed here to sow with my lond; While I over-delve it, here it shall stond. _In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus sancti!_ now I will begin. This land is so hard, it maketh unlusty and irk; I shall sow my corn at winter, and let God work. Alas! my corn is lost; here is a foul work! I see well, by tilling, little shall I win; Here I give up my spade, for now and for ever.

[_Here_ TITIVILLUS _goes out with the spade_.

To occupy my body, I will not put me in dever; I will hear my evensong here or I dissever. This place I assign as for my kirk; Here, in my kirk, I kneel on my knees: _Pater noster, qui es in celis_--

[_Enter_ TITIVILLUS.]

_Titi._ I promise you I have no lead on my heels; I am here again to make this fellow irk. Whist! peace! I shall go to his ear and tittle therein--

[_Goes to_ MANKIND.

A short prayer thirleth heaven--of thy prayer blin! Thou art holier than ever was any of thy kin: Arise, and avent thee! nature compels!

_Man._ I will into thi[s] yard, sovereigns! and come again soon; For dread of the colic, and eke of the stone, I will go do that needs must be done; My beads shall be here for whosomever will come.

[MANKIND _goes out_.

_Titi._ Mankind was busy in his prayer, yet I did him arise; He is conveyed, by Christ! from his divine service. Whither is he? trow ye? I-wis, I am wonder-wise: I have sent him forth to shit lesings. If ye have any silver, in hap pure brass, Take a little pow[d]er of Paris and cast over his face; And even in the owl-flight let him pass-- Titivillus can learn you many pretty things! I trow Mankind will come again soon, Or else, I fear me, evensong will be done: His beades shall be triced aside, and that anon. Ye shall [see] a good sport if ye will abide-- Mankind cometh again; well fare he! I shall answer him _ad omnia quare_. There shall he set abroach a clerical maller; I hope of his purpose to set him aside.

[_Re-enter_ MANKIND.]

_Man._ Evensong hath be in the saying, I trow, a fair while; I am irk of it; it is too long by one mile. Do way! I will no more, so oft, on the church stile; Be as it may, I shall do another. Of labour and prayer, I am near irk of both; I will no more of it though Mercy be wroth. My head is very heavy; I tell you, forsooth! I shall sleep, full my belly and he were my brother.

[MANKIND _sleeps and snores_.

_Titi._ And ever ye did, me keep now your silence! Not a word! I charge you, pain of forty pence! A praty game shall be showed you or ye go hence. Ye may hear him snore; he is sad a-sleep. Whist! peace! the devil is dead! I shall go rond in his ear: Alas, Mankind, alas! Mercy [has] stolen a mare; He is run away from his master, there wot no man where; Moreover, he stale both a horse and a neat. But yet, I heard say, he brake his neck as he rode in France; But I think he rideth over the gallows, to learn for to dance, Because of his theft: that is his governance. Trust no more on him; he is a marred man! Mickle sorrow with thy spade beforn thou hast wrought; Arise, and ask mercy of New Guise, Now-a-days, and Nought! They come! Advise thee for the best; let their good will be sought; And thy own wife brethel, and take thee a leman! Farewell, everyone! for I have done my game; For I have brought Mankind to mischief and to shame.

[TITIVILLUS _goes out_.

_Man._ Whoop! ho! Mercy hath broken his neckercher, a vows! Or he hangeth by the neck high up on the gallows. Adieu, fair master! I will haste me to the ale-house, And speak with New Guise, Now-a-days, and Nought; A[nd] get me a leman with a smattering face.

[_Enter_ NEW GUISE.]

_New G._ Make space! for Cock's body sacred, make space! Aha! well! on! run! God give him evil grace! We were near saint Patrick's way, by Him that me bought! I was twitched by the neck; the game was begun; A grace was; the halter brast asunder--_Ecce signum!_-- The half is about my neck: we had a near run! "Beware!" quod the good wife when she smote off her husband's head--"beware!" Mischief is a convict, for he could his neck-verse-- My body gave a swing when I hung upon the casse. Alas! who will hang such a likely man, and a fierce, For stealing of an horse? I pray God give him care! Do way this halter! what [the] devil doth Mankind here? with sorrow!-- Alas, how my neck is sore, I make avow!

_M[an]._ Ye be welcome, New Guise! Sir! what cheer with you?

_New G._ Well, sir! I have no cause to mourn.

_M[an]._ What was there about your neck? so God you amend!

_New G._ In faith! saint Audrey's holy bend; I have a little dishele, as it please God to send, With a running ringworm.

[_Enter_ NOW-A-DAYS.]

_Now._ Stand, aroom! I pray thee, brother mine! I have laboured all this night; when shall we go dine? A church, here beside, shall pay for ale, bread, and wine; Lo! here is stuff will serve.

_New G._ Now, by the holy Mary! thou art better merchant than I!

[_Enter_ NOUGHT.]

_Nought._ Avaunt, knaves! let me go by! I can not geet, and I should starve.

[_Enter_ MISCHIEF.]

_Mis._ Here cometh a man of arms; why stand ye so still? Of murder and manslaughter I have my belly fill.

_Now._ What, Mischief! have ye been in prison? and it be your will, Meseemeth ye have sco[u]red a pair of fetters.

_Mis._ I was chained by the arms; lo! I have them here. The chains I brast asunder and killed the jailor; Yea, and his fair wife halsed in a corner: A! how sweetly I kissed that sweet mouth of hers! When I had do, I was mine own bottler; I brought away with me both dish and doubler. Here is enou' for me: be of good cheer! Yet, well fare the new che[vi]sance!

_Man._ I ask mercy of New Guise, Now-a-days, and Nought; Once, with my spade, I remember that I fought; I will make you amends if I hurt you aught, Or did any grievance.

_New G._ What a devil liketh thee to be of this disposition?

_Man._ I dreamt Mercy was hang[ed]: this was my vision; And that, to you three, I should have recourse and remotion. Now, I pray you, heartily, of your good will; I cry you mercy of all that I did amiss!

_Now._ [_Aside._] I say, New Guise, Nought! Titivillus made all this; As siker as God is in heaven, so it is!

_Nought._ Stand up on your feet! why stand ye so still?

_New G._ Master Mischief! we will you exhort, Mankind's name, in your book, for to report.

_Mis._ I will not so! I will set a court-- Ah! do it _[in] forma juris d'hasard_!

[NOW-A-DAYS _make[th] proclamation_.

_Now._ Oyez! oyez! oyez! All manner of men, and common women, To the Court of Mischief either come or send; Mankind shall return, he is one of our men!

_Mis._ Nought! come forth! thou shall be steward.

_New G._ Master Mischief! his side-gown may be sold; He may have a jacket thereof, and money told.

_Man._ I will do for the best, so I have no cold. Hold! I pray you, and take it with you.

_Nought (scri[bit])._ And let me have it again in any wise.

_New G._ I promise you a fresh jacket after the new guise.

_Man._ Go! and do that longeth to your office; A[nd] spare that ye may!

[NEW GUISE _goeth out_.

_Nought._ Hold, Master Mischief, and read this!

_Mis._ Here is _blottibus in blottis,_ _Blottorum blottibus istis_: I beshrew your ears! a fair hand!

_Now._ Yea! it is a good running fist; Such an hand may not be missed! [_Goes out._

_Nought._ I should have done better, had I wist.

_Mis._ Take heed, sirs, it stand you on hand! _Curia tenta generalis_, In a place--there good ale is!-- _Anno regni regitalis_. _Edwardi millatene_, On yestern-day in Febru'ry--the year passeth fully-- As Nought hath written--here is our Tulli, _Anno regni regis nulli_.

_Now._ What ho, New Guise! thou makest much [tarrying]; That jacket shall not be worth a farthing.

[_Re-enter_ NEW GUISE.]

_New. G._ Out of my way, sirs! for dread of fighting! Lo! here is a feat tail, light to leap about!

_Nought._ It is not shapen worth a morsel of bread; There is too much cloth; it weighs as any lead. I shall go and mend it; else I will lose my head-- Make space, sirs! let me go out!

[NOUGHT _goes out_.

_Mis._ Mankind, come hither! God send you the gout! Ye shall go to all the good fellows in the country about; Unto the good-wife when the good-man is out-- "I will," say ye!

_Man._ I will, sir!

_New G._ There arn'[t] but six deadly sins; lechery is none; As it may be verified by us brethels everyone. Ye shall go rob, steal, and kill, as fast as ye may gone-- "I will," say ye!

_Man._ I will, sir!

_Now._ On Sundays, on the morrow, early betime, Ye shall with us to the ale-house early, to go dine; A[nd] forbear mass and matins, hours and prime-- "I will," say ye!

_M[an]._ I will, sir!

_Mis._ Ye must have by your side a long dapacem, As true men ride by the way, for to unbrace them; Take their money, cut their throats; thus over face them-- "I will," say ye!

_Man._ I will, sir!

[_Re-enter_ NOUGHT.]

_Nought._ Here is a jolly jacket--how say ye?

_New G._ It is a good jake of fence for a man's body-- Hi, dog! hi! whoop, ho! go your way lightly! Ye are well made for to ren!

_Mis._ Tidings! tidings! I have espied one! Hence with your stuff! fast we were gone! I beshrew the last shall come to his home! Amen! [_Dicant omnes._

[_Enter_ MERCY.]

_Mer._ What ho, Mankind! flee that fellowship, I you pray!

_Man._ I shall speak with [thee] another time; to-morn or the next day.

[_To the others._

We shall go forth together to keep my father's year-day: A tapster! a tapster! stow, statt, stow!

_Mis._ A mischief go with [thee]! here I have a foul fall. Hence! away from me! or I shall beshit you all!

_New G._ What ho, ostler! ostler, lend us a foot-ball! Whoop! ho! anow, anow, anow! [_They go out._

_Mer._ My mind is dispersed; my body tir-trimmeleth as the aspen leaf; The tears should trickle down by my cheeks, were not your reverence! It were to me solace, the cruel visitation of death! Without rude behaviour I can[not] express this inconvenience: Weeping, sighing, and sobbing, were my sufficiance; All natural nutriment, to me, as carene, is odible; My inward affliction yieldeth me tedious unto your presence; I cannot bear it evenly that Mankind is so flexible. Man unkind, wherever thou be! for all this world was not apprehensible To discharge thine original offence, thraldom and captivity, Till God's own well-beloved Son was obedient and passible: Every drop of His blood was shed to purge thine iniquity. I discommend and disallow this often mutability! To every creature thou art dispectuous and odible-- Why art thou so uncurtess, so inconsiderate? alas, woe is me! As the vane that turneth with the wind, so thou art convertible! In trust is treason: thy promise is not credible; Thy perversious ingratitude I cannot rehearse; To go over, to all the holy court of heaven thou art dispectable, As a noble versifier maketh mention in his verse: "_Lex et natura, Christus et omnia jura_ _Damnant ingratum; lugetur eum fore natum._" O, good Lady, and Mother of Mercy! have pity and compassion Of the wretchedness of Mankind, that is so wanton and so frail! Let mercy exceed justice, dear Mother! admit this supplication! Equity to be laid over part[l]y, and mercy to prevail! Too sensual living is reprovable, that is now-a-days, As by the comprehence of this matter it may be specified. New Guise, Now-a-days, Nought, with their allectuous ways They have perverted Mankind, my sweet son, I have well espied. A! with these cursed caitiffs, and I may, he shall not long endure; I, Mercy, his father ghostly, will proceed forth and do my property. Lady, help! this manner of living is a detestable pleasure; _Vanitas vanitatum_: all is but a vanity! Mercy shall never be convict of his uncurtess condition; With weeping tears, by night and by day, I will go and never cease. Shall I not find him? Yes, I hope; now, God be my protection! My predelict son! where be ye? Mankind! _Ubi es?_

[MISCHIEF _re-enters with his companions_.

_Mis._ My prepotent father! when ye sup, sup out your mess! Ye are all to-gloried in your terms; ye make many a lesse. Will ye hear? he cryeth over Mankind, _Ubi es?_

_New G._ Hic, hic, hic! hic, hic, hic! hic, hic! * * * * * That is to say: here! here! here! nigh dead in the crick. If ye will have him, go and seek, seek, seek! Seek not over long, for losing of your mind!

_Now._ If ye will have Mankind--ho, _domine, domine, domine_!-- Ye must speak to the shrive for a _cepe coppus_; Else ye must be fain to return with _non est inventus_. How say ye, sir? my bolt is shot!

_Nought._ I am doing of my needings; beware how ye shoot! Fie, fie, fie! I have foul arrayed my foot! Be wise for shooting with your tackles, for, God wot! My foot is foully over-shit.

_Mis._ A parlement! a parlement! come forth, Nought, behind! A counsel, belive! I am afeared Mercy will him find. How say ye? and what say ye? how shall we do with Mankind?

_New G._ Tush, a fly's wing! will ye do well? He weeneth Mercy were hung for stealing of a mare. Mischief! go say to him that Mercy seeketh everywhere; He will hang himself, I undertake, for fear.

_Mis._ I assent thereto; it is wittily said, and well.

_Now._ I whip it in thy coat! anon it were done! Now, saint Gabriel's mother save the clothes of thy shoon! All the books in the world, if they had be undone, Could not a counselled us bet.

_Hic exit_ MISCHIEF [_apparently meeting_ MANKIND _as he is going out, and salutes him_].

_Mis._ Ho, Mankind! Come and speak with Mercy; he is here, fast-by!

_Man._ A rope! a rope! a rope! I am not worthy.

_Mis._ Anon, anon, anon! I have it here ready; With a tree also that I have get. Hold the tree, Now-a-days! Nought! take heed and be wise!

_New G._ Lo, Mankind! do as I do! this is thy new guise; Give the rope just to thy neck: this is mine advice.