Quips and Quiddities: A Quintessence of Quirks, Quaint, Quizzical, and Quotable
Part 12
What is Truth? "Bring me the wash-hand basin," is the reply of Pontius Pilate.
HEINRICH HEINE, _The Denunciator_.
_ON A RECENT ROBBERY._
They came and stole my garments, My stockings, all my store, But they could not steal my sermons, For they were stolen before.
REV. HENRY TOWNSHEND.
Some folk's tongues are like the clocks as run on strikin', not to tell you the time o' day, but because there's summat wrong i' their own inside.
_Mrs. Poyser_, in GEORGE ELIOT's _Adam Bede_.
'Tis said that he lived upon bacon and beans, And that sometimes he dined upon salt pork and greens; But he thought that such feeding was rather humdrum,-- "I've gone the whole hog," said little Tom Thumb.
As Tom once was crossing a river close by, A salmon snapped up, as it would at a fly; But as it was dark Tom did sing rather mum-- "I'm down in the mouth," said little Tom Thumb.
Next day a black raven poor Tom did espy, Which carried him up to the heaven so high; If the bird let him go, to the ground would he come-- "I'll be dashed if I do," said little Tom Thumb.
J. A. SIDEY, _Mistura Curiosa_.
It is often harder to praise a friend than an enemy.
W. HAZLITT, _Characteristics_.
_ON A CERTAIN PARSON._
By purchase a man's property is known: Scarf's sermons and his livings are his own.
_Epigrams in Distich_ (1740).
I measure men's dullness by the devices they trust in for deceiving others. Your dullest animal is he who grins and says he doesn't mind just after he has had his shins kicked.
MACHIAVELLI, in GEORGE ELIOT's _Romola_.
_GRAMMATICAL._
The least drop in the world I do not mind: "Cognac" 's a noun I never yet declined.
H. J. BYRON, in _English Epigrams_.
"There is no middle course," said Charles X. to Talleyrand, "between the throne and the scaffold!" "Your Majesty forgets the post-chaise!"
CRABB ROBINSON, _Diary_.
I could not, while you shone, Run all that heartless _babble off_ That marks the modern _Babylon_.
ROBERT REECE, in _Comic Poets_.
_TO AN IMPORTUNATE HOST DURING DINNER AND AFTER TENNYSON._
Ask me no more: I've had enough Chablis; The wine may come again, and take the shape, From glass to glass, of "Mountain" or of "Cape;" But, my dear boy, when I have answered thee, Ask me no more.
Ask me no more: what answer should I give? I love not pickled pork nor partridge pie; I feel if I took whisky I should die; Ask me no more--for I prefer to live: Ask me no more.
Ask me no more: unless my fate is sealed, And I have striven against you all in vain: Let your good butler bring me Hock again: Then rest, dear boy. If for this once I yield, Ask me no more.
W. D. A.
Sir Robert Grant told a story well, and could pun successfully without boring. By way of instance, on the beach at Sidmouth he pronounced the six beautiful Miss Twopennys to be the "Splendid shilling."
LORD TEIGNMOUTH, _Reminiscences_.
Oh to be wafted away From this black Aceldama of sorrow, Where the dust of an earthy to-day, Is the earth of a dusty to-morrow!
_Bunthorne_, in W. S. GILBERT's _Patience_.
One said, painters were cunning fellows, for they had a colour for everything they did.
_Conceits, Clinches_, etc. (1639).
Dey vent to hear a breecher of De last sensadion shtyle, 'Twas 'nough to make der tyfel weep To see his "awful shmile." "Vot bities dat der Fechter ne'er Vos in Theologie. Dey'd make him pishop in dis shoorsh," Said Breitmann, said he.
C. G. LELAND, _Breitmann Ballads_.
"Oh! Pat; and what do you think will be your feelings on the day of judgment when you meet Mrs. Mahoney, and the pig you stole from her, face to face?" "Does your reverence think the pig will be there?" "Ay, indeed, will he; and what will ye say then?" "I shall say, your reverence, 'Mrs. Mahoney, dear, here's the pig that I borrowed of ye, and I'm mighty glad to have this opportunity of restoring him!'"
_Life of Rev. W. Harness._
_In vino veritas!_--which means A man's a very ass in liquor; The "thief that slowly steals our brains" Makes nothing but the temper quicker. Next morning brings a train of woes, But finds the passions much sedater-- Who was it, now, that pulled my nose?-- I'd better go and ask the waiter.
H. CHOLMONDELEY PENNELL, _Pegasus Resaddled_.
Jones, the tailor, was asked by a customer, who thought much of his cut, to go down and have some shooting with him in the country. Among the party was the Duke of Northumberland. "Well, Mr. Jones," observed his Grace, "I'm glad to see that you are becoming a sportsman. What sort of gun do you shoot with?" "Oh, with a double-breasted one, your Grace," was the reply.
_Life of Rev. W. Harness._
Now wedlock is a sober thing, No more of chains or forges! A plain young man, a plain gold ring, The curate, and St. George's.
EDWARD FITZGERALD.
The greatest advantage I know of being thought a wit by the world, is, that it gives one the greater freedom of playing the fool.
POPE, _Thoughts on Various Subjects_.
Conceive me, if you can, An every-day young man: A common-place type, With a stick and a pipe, And a half-bred black-and-tan; Who thinks suburban "hops" More fun than "Monday Pops"; Who's fond of his dinner, And doesn't get thinner, On bottled beer and chops;-- A common-place young man-- A matter-of-fact young man-- A steady and stolid-y, jolly Bank-holiday Every-day young man!
_Grosvenor_, in W. S. GILBERT's _Patience_.
I do not so much want to avoid being cheated, as to afford the expense of being so; the generality of mankind being seldom in good humour but whilst they are imposing upon you in some shape or other.
SHENSTONE, _Essays_.
Only think, to have lords overrunning the nation, As plenty as frogs in a Dutch inundation; No shelter from barons, from earls no protection, And tadpole young lords, too, in every direction,-- Things created in haste, just to make a court list of, Two legs and a coronet all they consist of!
THOMAS MOORE.
Lo! the king, his footsteps this way bending, His cogitative faculties immersed In cogibundity of cogitation.
_Aldiborontiphoscophornio_, in CAREY's _Chrononhotonthologos_.
It is with narrow-souled people, as with narrow-necked bottles: the less they have in them, the more noise they make in pouring out.
POPE, _Thoughts on Various Subjects_.
One privilege to man is left-- The privilege of earning The doss that pays the weekly bills.
H. CHOLMONDELEY PENNELL, _Pegasus Resaddled_.
_Happy thought._--"Fridoline!" I have her permission to call her Fridoline.
Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts!! Happy thoughts!!!
I think I am speaking: she speaks: we speak together. A pause. Oh, for one happy thought, now.
"May I?" Her head is turned away from me: slightly. She does not move. "I may?"
_Happy Thought._--I do.
F. C. BURNAND, _Happy Thoughts_.
INDEX.
A.
Absence an element of charm, 236
Actress, an inanimate, 59
_Adam Bede_, quoted, 11, _et seq._
Adam's language, 27
Advice, Pope on giving, 87
Agreeable person, an, 6
Ailing and ale-ing, 227
Albemarle, Lord, quoted, 32, _et seq._
Alderman, on an, 180
Alderson, Baron, on Lord Campbell, 194
Aldrich, Dean, quoted, 229
_Alice in Wonderland_, quoted, 7, _et seq._
"A little backer," 175
"All Gaul is quartered," 253
"All my eye," 41, 93
All Saints, 106
Allsopp's ale, 152
"All the souls that were," 97
Altruism, Mallock on, 167
Alvanley, Lord, _mot_ by, 67
"Always seem to be modest," 253
_Amours de Voyage_, quoted, 59
"Anecdotage," 43, 107
Animals, George Eliot on, 41, 102
_Anti-Jacobin, the_, quoted, 33
"Ape in the days that were earlier," 43
"Ape with pliable thumb," 17
Aristocracy, the, Phoebus on, 170
Aristocratic poets, 223
Arnold, Matthew, on, 123
_Art de Parvenir, L'_, quoted, 231
Art-Unions, Hood on, 3
Ashburton, Lady, _mots_ by, 30, _et seq._
Ashby-Sterry, J., quoted, 22, _et seq._
_Aspen Court_, quoted, 5
Atalanta, on, 188
Athanasian Creed, the, 89
Austin, Alfred, quoted, 19, _et seq._
B.
_Bab Ballads_, quoted, 105, _et seq._
Bagehot, Walter, _mots_ by, 84, _et seq._
Bailey, Philip James, quoted, 26
Balbus, 103
_Ballades in Blue China_, quoted, 20, _et seq._
Balls and operas, on, 239
Balzac, quoted, 4, _et seq._
Bancroft, Thomas, quoted, 228
Barham, R. H., quoted, 12, _et seq._
Barrington, Sir Jonah, quoted, 28
Barry, Redmond, _mot_ by, 36
Bass's beer, 125
Baxter, Rose, and Norton, 66
Beaconsfield, Lord, quoted, 6, _et seq._
Bean, the, Warner on, 184
Bears, Locker on, 23
"Beautiful soup," 238
Beazley, Samuel, _mots_ by, 51, _et seq._
"Beer, such power hath," 235
_Beppo_, quoted, 21
Berkeley, Grantley, quoted, 142
_Biglow Papers, the_, quoted, 30, _et seq._
_Billee Taylor_, quoted, 127, _et seq._
Bills, Christmas, 256
----, weekly, 202, 264
Bishops, Alvanley on, 129
"Bisness first," 15
Black, a great fact, 5
Blackie, Professor, quoted, 45, _et seq._
"Bloom of ugliness, the," 195
"Blossom of hawthorn," 25
Blows, George Eliot on, 137
Blue-stockings, on, 9
_Bon Gaultier Ballads_, quoted, 71, _et seq._
"Books are fatal," 52
Books, reading new, 221
Boredom, the secret of, 34
Bores, Lady Ashburton on, 30
_Boudoir Ballads_, quoted, 22, _et seq._
Boyd, Mark, quoted, 56, _et seq._
Bramston, John, quoted, 48
Braxfield, Lord, anecdote of, 133
"Break, break, break!" 213
_Breitmann Ballads_, quoted, 86, _et seq._
Bright, John, Professor Blackie on, 204
Brighton, Collins on, 84; Ashby Sterry on, 211
_British Birds, the_, quoted, 21, _et seq._
Broad church, the, 36
"Broken English," 136
Brooks, Shirley, quoted, 5, _et seq._
Brown, to Lady, 214
Browne, C. F. _See_ Ward, Artemus.
----, J. Jemmett, quoted, 5, _et seq._
Brummell, _mot_ by, 69
Buckle, Professor Blackie on, 127
Burnand, F. C., quoted, 88, _et seq._
Busby, Dr., anecdote of, 150
Business, described, 8
Buxton, Charles, quoted, 27, _et seq._
Byron, H. J., quoted, 10, _et seq._
----, Lord, quoted, 7, _et seq._; _mot_ by, 62
C.
Callender, Miss, _mot_ on, 1
Calverley, C. S., quoted, 5, _et seq._
Campbell, Thomas, quoted, 231; Rogers on, 35
Candide, Byron on, 216
Cannon, _mot_ by, 135
"Cannot have everything," 63
Cappadocians, on the, 4
_Careless Husband, the_, quoted, 1
Carey, Henry, quoted, 11, _et seq._
Carlyle, on, 180
_Carols of Cockayne_, quoted, 44, _et seq._
Carroll, Lewis, quoted, 7, _et seq._
Castlereagh, Lord, _mot_ by, 34
Catch, light-fingered, 135
Cayley, G. J., quoted, 80, _et seq._
Celebrity, Chamfort on, 13
Cerberus, H. J. Byron on, 228
Ceremony, 149
Chambermaids, Mark Twain on, 124
Chamfort, quoted, 13, _et seq._
Character, on, 140
_Characteristics_, Hazlitt's, quoted, 15, _et seq._
Charron, quoted, 174
Chatterton, Lady, quoted, 93
Chelmsford, Lord, _mot_ by, 142
Chesterfield, Lord, quoted, 53, _et seq._
Children, Dudley Warner on, 154
China, blue, 149
China-buying, 240
Chloe, Mortimer Collins's, 216
Chloris, to, 240
Chorley, H. F., quoted, 2, _et seq._
Christ Church "Marriage," 193
_Chrononhotonthologos_, quoted, 11, _et seq._
Churches as dormitories, 236
Cibber, Colley, quoted, 1
Clergy, the, and hoeing, 200
Close-fist's subscription, 194
Clough, A. H., quoted, 6, _et seq._
"Coach, coach, coach!" 11
Cockney, the, 173
"Cognac," Byron on, 259
Coleridge, S. T., quoted, 76, _et seq._
_Collection of Epigrams_, quoted, 3, _et seq._
College life, 166
Collins, Mortimer, quoted, 21, _et seq._
_Comic Poets_, quoted, 57, _et seq._
Companies, Thurlow on, 72
Company, our own, 225
Compliments, 60, 188
Compton's _Life_, quoted, 14, _et seq._; _mots_ by, 55, _et seq._
_Conceits, Clinches_, etc., quoted, 232, _et seq._
Congreve, William, quoted, 12, _et seq._
Conscience, Mallock on, 108; Byron on, 116
Constancy, Vauvenargues on, 65
Constant, Benjamin, _mot_ by, 230
Contentment, Holmes on, 24
Cork, Lady, anecdote of, 131
"Cornet waltzes, a," 54
Cornopean, the amateur, 173
Courage, drunken, on, 228
Courthope, W. J., quoted, 153
Courtship and marriage, 178
Cowden Clarke, Mrs., quoted, 78
Crawley, Richard, quoted, 36
Critics, the, 202
Croly, George, quoted, 188
Croquet, advice on, 224
Cunningham, John, quoted, 180
Curiosity only vanity, 240
Curran, _mots_ by, 29, _et seq._
"Cursed be the whole concern," 191
D.
Daddy Longlegs, Whately on, 90
Damnation, preaching, 30
Darwin, on, 8, 180
Daughter, an obstinate, 37
Davies, Scrope, quoted, 130
Deshoulières, Madame, quoted, 37
_Devil's Walk, the_, quoted, 36
_Diary_, Crabb Robinson's, quoted, 24, _et seq._
---- Greville's, quoted, 129
----, Moore's, quoted, 9, _et seq._
----, W. C. Macready's, quoted, 75, _et seq._
----, Young's, quoted, 4, _et seq._
Dickens, Charles, quoted, 15, _et seq._
Dinner, after, 185
Dinner-bell, Lord Byron on the, 7
_Dipsychus_, quoted, 163
"Dirty-two," 82
"_Dis_contents, the," 21
Dobson, Austin, quoted, 11, _et seq._
Domestic woman, a, 198
Donaldson, Dr., _mots_ by, 24, _et seq._
_Don Juan_, quoted, 7, _et seq._
Donne, Dr., quoted, 48; _mot_ by, 212
"Don't Care," Helps on, 13
D'Orsay, Count, _mots_ by, 184, _et seq._
_Double Dealer, the_, quoted, 12
Drake, Dr., _mot_ by, 36
"Draw it mild," 219
Drawing on wood, 7
Dress, Vigo on, 222
Drinking, reasons for, 229
Dudley, Lord, Castlereagh on, 34; _mot_ by, 241
_Duenna, the_, quoted, 37
Dumas _fils_, quoted, 87
Dust and disease, 78
"Dust of an earthy to-day, the," 261
Duty, Clough on, 6
Dying boy, the, 251
E.
Early rising, Saxe on, 122; Hood on, 195
Eater, on a small, 226
Edinburgh, Hannay on, 116
Eliot, George, quoted, 6, _et seq._
Ellenborough, Lord, _mot_ by, 84
Emerson, R. W., quoted, 47
_Endymion_, Lord Beaconsfield's, 80, _et seq._
_English Epigrams_, quoted, 10, _et seq._
---- language, the, 32, 60
"Entirely within their province," 244
_Epigram in Distich_, quoted, 85
Episcopal office, Sydney Smith on, 192
Equality, on, 45
_Eugene Aram_, quoted, 152
Evans, Anne, quoted, 49, _et seq._
Evening dress, on ladies', 174
---- newspapers, 241
"Every-day young man, an," 263
Eye-glass, on the, 164
F.
_Fable for critics, a_, quoted, 178
False love's quirk, 230
Fanshawe, Catherine M., quoted, 256
Fashion, Lytton on, 18
Feeding a cold, 42
_Felix Holt_, quoted, 26
Felons and their "innocent enjoyment," 241
_Festus_, quoted, 26
Fiddler, on a bad, 3
Fielding, Henry, quoted, 56
Fields, J. T., quoted, 14, _et seq._
_Fifty years of my life_, quoted, 32, _et seq._
Fine lady, a, Pope on, 42
"First men of the century," 185
Fitzgerald, Edward, quoted, 262
Flattery, Vauvenargues on, 95
_Fly-leaves_, quoted, 15, _et seq._
Fools, Hazlitt on, 143
Foote, _mots_ by, 211, _et seq._
"Forever," 142
Fortune, on, 251
Forty year, 197
"Forty years long," 156
"Found it advisable," 57
"Four by honours," 33
Franklin, Mark Twain on, 178
Fraser, Professor, quoted, 247
Free-thinking, 113
"Free to confess," 47
Freeman, Mr., on, 242
----, Thomas, quoted, 196
"Friend, go thy way," 155
Friends and ripe fruit, 79
----, Hazlitt on, 106
_---- in Council_, quoted, 13, _et seq._
----, Old, Selden on, 11
French, the, Harness on, 38
---- and English, 210
Froude and Kingsley, 111
Fuller, Francis, quoted, 173
Funny man, a, 30
G.
Galla, Haryngton on, 225
"Gardener's rule, this," 248
Garnett, Richard, quoted, 60, _et seq._
Gay, John, quoted, 240
Genus, 111
"Georgium Any-sidus," 99
German language, the, 237
"Gift of the gab," 74
Gilbert, W. S., quoted, 14, _et seq._
_Gilfil's love story_, quoted, 41
Gillon, Joseph, _mot_ by, 141
Good little girls, 115
"Good not the word," 55
Good people, Locker on, 204
Grapes and gripes, on, 155
Gratitude, popular, 189
Graves, Richard, quoted, 225
Greville, Charles, quoted, 129
Gronow's _Recollections_, quoted, 10, _et seq._
_Guesses at Truth_, quoted, 5, _et seq._
H.
"Halidame, by thy," 257
Hamilton, Sir John, _mot_ by, 28
Hannay, James, quoted, 23, _et seq._
_Happy Thoughts_, quoted, 88, _et seq._
Harness, William, _mot_ by, 38
Harrison, W. H., quoted, 38, _et seq._
Harte, Bret, quoted, 80, _et seq._
Haryngton, Sir John, quoted, 225
Hay, John, quoted, 13, _et seq._
Haydon, B. R., quoted, 4, _et seq._
Hayward, Abraham, quoted, 3, _et seq._
Hazlitt, William, quoted, 15, _et seq._
Heath, Robert, quoted, 201
"Hegel's modest formula," 53
Heine, Heinrich, quoted, 126, _et seq._
Helps, Sir Arthur, quoted, 13, _et seq._
_Heptalogia, the_, quoted, 250
"Heureux plafond," 85
Hicks, epigrams by, 2, _et seq._
_High Life Below Stairs_, quoted, 37
Hill, Aaron, quoted, 205
_H.M.S. Pinafore_, quoted, 56
Holmes, Oliver Wendell, quoted, 24, _et seq._
Holland, Lord, epigram by, 51
"Home they brought," 200
Hood, Thomas, quoted, 3, _et seq._; anecdotes of, 155, _et seq._
Hook, Theodore, _mots_ by, 2, _et seq._
_Horace at Athens_, quoted, 32, _et seq._
_---- in London_, quoted, 34
_Horse and Foot_, quoted, 36
House of Commons, on, 160
"How doth the little crocodile," 118
Hugman, R., quoted, 92
Hugo, Victor, Heine on, 151
Humility, Selden on, 48
Hunt, Leigh, quoted, 228
_Hunting of the Snark, the_, quoted, 22, _et seq._
Husband, an intemperate, 65
----, the desire of a, 177
"Hyam to Moses," 19
_Hyperion_, quoted, 117
Hypocrite, a, 148
I.
"I and non-I," 246
"I loiter down," 162
"I make the butter fly," 32
_Idylls and Epigrams_, quoted, 60, _et seq._
Ignorance, blessed, 201
----, Felix Holt on, 199
Immorality, present day, 92
Impositions of mankind, 263
Incapable person, on an, 252
_Ingoldsby Lyrics_, quoted, 12, _et seq._
Insolence, 12
Intentions, good, 91
Irving, Washington, _mot_ by, 4
J.
Jabberwock, The, 220
_Janet's Repentance_, quoted, 96
Jeaffreson, J. C., quoted, 85
Jekyll, _mot_ by, 26
Jenkins, Mrs., quoted, 171
Jenner, lines on, 6
Jerdan, William, quoted, 135
Jerrold, Douglas, _mot_ by, 14
"John P. Robinson, he," 30
Johnson, Dr., quoted, 50
"Juliet was a fool," 53
"Jure mariti," 57
Juxtaposition, Clough on, 113
K.
Kean, B. Smith and, 9
"Keep all you have," 17
Kemble, Fanny, quoted, 1, _et seq._
_Kenelm Chillingly_, quoted, 39
Kenny, _mot_ by, 156
"Kill him where he is," 147
_King Arthur_, quoted, 17
Kingsley and Froude, 111
Knowles, Sheridan, anecdotes of, 9, _et seq._
L.
_Ladies in Parliament_, quoted, 13, _et seq._
Ladies' accomplishments, on, 132
_Lady of Lyons, the_, quoted, 130
Lafayette, Heine on, 227
Lake poets, the, 130
Lamb, Charles, _mots_ by, 22, _et seq._
Landor, Walter Savage, quoted, 64, _et seq._
Lang, Andrew, quoted, 20, _et seq._
La Rochefoucauld, quoted, 20, _et seq._
_Las Alforgas_, quoted, 160
Latest Decalogue, the, 218
_Latter-Day Lyrics_, quoted, 101
Laughter, Byron on, 96
"Lays of now-a-days," 67
Leigh, H. S., quoted, 44, _et seq._
Leland, C. G., quoted, 86, _et seq._
_Letters to Julia_, quoted, 39
Lettuce and conversation, 169
Life described, 203
Lindsay, Lady Charlotte, _mots_ by, 70, _et seq._
Lingendes, Jean de, quoted, 151
_Literary Gazette, the_, quoted, 97
"Literature suited to desolate islands", 178
"Little Billee," quoted, 217
"Little knowledge, a," 95
"Livy was Tacitus," 122
Locker, Frederick, quoted, 8, _et seq._
Lockhart, J. G., quoted, 141
London, Morris on, 4
_---- Lyrics_, quoted, 8, _et seq._
Longfellow, quoted, 117
"Look to settlements," 145
_Lothair_, quoted, 6, _et seq._
Lot's wife, Hicks on, 2
Love and marriage, 31, 99, 159, 168
---- and wisdom, 174
----, Chamfort on, 55
----, Corporal Bunting on, 152
----, first and second, 195
----, first, Bernal on, 112
_---- for Love_, quoted, 77
---- -letters, 158
"---- levels all," 239
---- -making, Balzac on, 4
----, manifestations of, 127
---- song, by H. Smith, 18
"Lovely woman, lump of folly," 184
"Love's but a dance," 27
Lowell, J. R., quoted, 30, _et seq._
Lucilius, quoted, 208
Luck, good and bad, 150
"Luke-warm," 117
Luttrell, Henry, _mots_ by, 23, _et seq._; quoted, 39
Lying and good breeding, 77
_Lyra Urbanica_, quoted, 4, _et seq._
Lytton, Lord, quoted, 8, _et seq._
M.
"Macadamnable," 254
Macaulay, Lord, quoted, 2, _et seq._
MacCulloch, _mot_ by, 219
Mackay, Charles, quoted, 68
_Macmillan's Magazine_, quoted, 33, _et seq._
Macready, W. C., quoted, 75
Magnanimity, Hazlitt on, 15
"Maidens of the mart," 19
Mallock, W. H., quoted, 46, _et seq._
Man of business, the, 75
_---- of Taste, the_, quoted, 48
Man's end, 30
_Margaret Percival_, quoted, 15
Marie-Louise, 227
Marriage, Shirley Brooks on, 55; Mrs. Steele on, 58; Selden on, 71, 95; Chamfort on, 79
Martial, in London, 169; quoted, 221
Matrimony, Heine on, 171
Matter, the laws of, 46
_Maximes_, Chamfort's, quoted, 13, _et seq._
Men, George Eliot on, 249
Men's nature, Buxton on, 27
Mendelssohn, anecdote of, 133
Meredith, George, quoted, 31
Merit, how treated, 28
Merry Wives of Windsor, the, 186
_Middlemarch_, quoted, 21, _et seq._
Middleton, Lord, anecdote of, 172
_Mill on the Floss, the_, quoted, 17, _et seq._
Mind and Matter, Neaves on, 140
Minorities, the rights of, 208
_Mistura Curiosa_, quoted, 147, _et seq._
Mitford, Miss, quoted, 67, _et seq._
"Mixture as before, the," 244
_Modern Love_, quoted, 31
_Money_, quoted, 60
----, Clough on, 163
Monk Lewis, anecdote of, 54
Montrond, _mots_ by, 168, _et seq._
Moore, Thomas, quoted, 9, _et seq._
Morality, H. Smith on, 51
Mormons, on the, 197
Morris, Charles, quoted, 4, _et seq._
"Most music-hall," 243
Mothers-in-law, 146, 247
_Musa Burschicosa_, quoted, 45, _et seq._
"My Lord," 183
_My Summer in a Garden_, quoted, 47, _et seq._
N.
Narrow-souled people, 264
Neaves, Lord, quoted, 8, _et seq._
Neilson, Miss, on, 67
"Never read," 89
Newell, R. H., quoted, 26, _et seq._
Newgate Windows, on, 229
_New Paul and Virginia_, quoted, 46, _et seq._
_---- Republic, the_, quoted, 92, _et seq._
Newspapers, Lord Beaconsfield on, 152
Nice, on the word, 229
North, Lord, _mot_ by, 67
Northern lights, on, 58
_Notes of thought_, quoted, 27, _et seq._
"Nothing is, and nothing's not," 53
"---- new," 47
"---- particular on my mind," 40
Novel, A Nutshell, 119
----, a sensation, described, 93
November, Planché on, 203
Number One, Lytton on, 50
O.
O'Connell, Morgan John, _mot_ by, 70
_Old Bachelor, the_, quoted, 178
_Old Times and Distant Places_, quoted, 34
Oliphant, Lawrence, quoted. 35, _et seq._
_Once a Week_, quoted, 9, _et seq._
Onion, the, 47
"---- is strength," 105
Orange, the, 156
_Orpheus C. Kerr Papers_, quoted, 26, _et seq._
Original sin, 231
Outram, George, quoted, 179
Overbury, Sir Thomas, quoted, 104
_Owl, the_, quoted, 64
P.
Palladas, quoted, 59, _et seq._
_Pall Mall Gazette, the_, quoted, 53, _et seq._
Palmerston, Lord, _mot_ by, 85
_Paradise of Birds, the_, quoted, 153
"_Parcus_ deorum cultor," 73
Parr, Dr., Basil Montague on, 129
Pascal, quoted, 240
_Patchwork_, quoted, 45, _et seq._
_Patience_, quoted, 88, _et seq._
Patrons' promises, Lord Holland on, 51
_Paul Clifford_, quoted, 8
Peel, Sir Robert, _mot_ by, 111
_Pelham_, quoted, 18
Pennell, H. Cholmondeley, quoted, 16, _et seq._
_Pensées_, Pascal's, quoted, 240
Permissive Bill, the, 203
"Personal" and "real," 32
_Phantasmagoria_, quoted, 85, _et seq._
Phoebe, to, 187
Phryne, Donne on, 48
_Physiologie du Mariage_, quoted, 4, _et seq._
_Piccadilly_, quoted, 35, _et seq._
"Pickle your lordship!" 247
Picnic party, a, 15, 86
Pictures, seeing, 151
Piety and cooking, 112
_Pirates of Penzance, the_, quoted, 58
"Plain leg of mutton," 55
Planché, J. R., quoted, 9, _et seq._
Pleasing, the art of, 31
Pleasure of not going to church, the, 254
Pleasures of the people, the, 234