CHAPTER II

SOME THINGS TO AVOID

When a certain character of history, long touted as “the wisest guy ever,” uttered his famous “Wisdom crieth aloud in the street,” and along with it, “Fools hate knowledge,” he must have had a vision of the present day, when there is so much and so little known about the chief mode of transportation, the automobile; so much by those who really have studied its mechanical principles, and so little by those who are running them about the highways. Yet in this day of automobile schools and service stations there is no need of a single individual being ignorant, nor of his coming under the condemnation of the same wise one: “The careless ease of fools shall destroy them.”

Give me an individual of average intelligence in overalls and jumper and a mind devoid of the “I know it” error and 99.99 per cent. of such can be taught to “make the auto auto as it really ought to auto.” The chief obstacle is the half knowledge—half error—which some possess.

Josh Billings once said: “I’d rather not know so much than know a lot that is not so.” The reader will get the idea.

One of the hardest things for the average man to learn is not to do useless things. Over and over folks will do things contrary to all rules and instructions and make extra work for themselves. In a school it is a good thing, perhaps, for it enables the instructor to point out the futility of going at the thing wrong end first. There was one class at the West Side Y. M. C. A. school particularly stupid in this respect. They were set to locating engine troubles, forgot all about the rules and took turns cranking the engine, expecting in that way to find out why the engine would not run. The instructor, looking into the classroom, found how things were going. All but one student were intent upon turning over the engine; that one man stood in one corner grinning, apparently having a good time with himself. The instructor in feigned amazement called out to him:

“Here, why are you not cranking the engine, too?”

With a grin perfectly idiotic the fellow drawled out:

“What’s the use of cranking if she ain’t goin’ to run?”

The reader can figure out for himself the relative degrees of idiocy or stupidity in that class. The instructor quickly set them to work by rule and they all knew in a few minutes that troubles are not located by cranking alone. The reader who will give careful attention to the instructions herein contained, and who will follow closely the rules, will not be cranking the engine when he should be cleaning a spark plug, or adjusting the carburetor, or mending a broken wire. He will learn that there is a sequence in every little job about the auto which tends to lessen the labor and to produce the best result, just as there is in keeping a set of books, or in running a farm.

The carpenter who does his work without plans usually is dubbed a “wood butcher.” The inference is that the man who would care for his automobile should learn to do it in a systematic way, according to rule, doing everything always the same way and in the same order. Thus the labor becomes a habit and is performed quickly and easily. At the same time habit must not be allowed to become a rut; the owner must preserve originality and initiative, and native ingenuity is invaluable.

Particularly it is wise to avoid the idea that at the first sign of something wrong one knows just what the trouble is. Probably no one thing has caused more unnecessary work and unnecessary expletive than jumping at a conclusion. Have a rule and go by it. Under the chapter relating to troubles there will be found a rule for locating them. It does not matter so much where one starts if it is followed through when started. Experience will lead one in time to select the starting point, either under the heading ignition, or gasoline, or other heading, the symptoms indicating generally to the experienced ear what is the matter; but there is so much chance of error in this guess that the rule must be remembered and closely followed.

It takes three things to start a gas engine running: gasoline in the proper mixture, compression, and ignition. To keep it running we must add a lubricating and a cooling system. There must also be free exhaust for burned gases. While there are many phases of each, it is necessary for the owner to get these things fixed in his, mind first. Everything else is extraneous.

There is something else to avoid. Avoid giving offense to the policeman on the street, and avoid running away if you have had an accident or are hailed by the traffic man. It does not pay, and will make added trouble, unless you are as fortunate in explanations as was a fellow who was caught by the officer in front of the Automobile School. He had hit someone and instead of stopping as the law provided, he gave a hasty look, saw no policeman, and shot ahead, turning the next corner. He dodged in and out of several streets, not seeing the motorcycle policeman chasing him. When caught and stopped he was asked why he was running away.

“Me running away?” he asked. “I was not running away, I was just trying to find a cop to report the accident.”

It worked that time, but it is not safe to trust the expedient under other circumstances.