Chapter 3

The general level of the playing was high, and, after a somewhat nervous opening (and perhaps just a few affectations of the fourth-wall school), the piece swung into a pleasant rhythm.

Mr. ERNEST THESIGER interprets with consummate ability Mr. PHILLPOTTS' amusing and original creation, this puss-in-gaiters Machiavelli, _St. George Exon_. Miss LILLAH MCCARTHY (_Monica_), in the familiar _rôle_ of beauty in revolt, had an easy task, which she fulfilled very agreeably. Miss ALBANESI (_Eva_) put brains and fire and (not at all a negligible gift of the gods) precise enunciation into her work. Mr. FEWLASS LLEWELLYN and Miss MARY BROUGH were quite delightful as old _Copplestone_ and his wife. Mr. CLAUDE KING as _Teddy Copplestone_ had perhaps the most difficult task, a part that by no means played itself, but needed a sustained skill, duly forthcoming. But I think the performance that pleased me most was that of Miss EVELYN WALSH HALL, a name new to me, in the small part of _Unity Copplestone_, played with a directness and sincerity which was quite distinguished.

Let me add that the flapping of eyelids (to which I have referred in my remarks on _The Cinderella Man_) is here also a feature. One member of the cast (of my own sex, too) gave a display of virtuosity in this _genre_ which was technically superb.

Two insignificant details of management caused me some amusement. The solemn clang of a gong presaging doom as dire as OEDIPUS'S (and incidentally inaudible to cigarette smokers in the foyer) gives notice of the resumption of the play, while at the end of the Acts the curtain flutters up and down at a feverish pace as if the idea was to get in as many "calls" as possible before the applause stops. Are we as guileless as all that, I wonder? And, anyway, no such manoeuvre was necessary. The applause was hearty, the laughter spontaneous, and anybody who cares for plays made and played with brains should go and see this engaging piece.

T.

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* * * * *

THE SPREAD OF DEMOCRACY.

"The Earl of Loudoun, whose English seat it is, possesses eight jeerages."--_Field_.

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ANOTHER IMPENDING APOLOGY.

"'Honour among thieves' is an old saying, but the pickpocket who stole Lieut.-Commander Grieve's watch during his reception was an exception to the rule."--_Illustrated Leicester Chronicle_.

* * * * *

A correspondent asks us if there is any truth in the statement that Peace will be signed in time for the Peace Celebrations. At the moment of going to press it is still doubtful.

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"NOTE.--The Swan used in this Production is supplied by the well-known firm of Messrs. Swan and Edgar, Piccadilly Circus, London."--_Programme of Shakespeare Theatre, Liverpool_.

We understand that the business is in the charge of Mr. EDGAR during his partner's absence.

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OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

_(By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks.)_

_Jinny the Carrier_ (HEINEMANN) was, as Mr. ZANGWILL lets us know in a felicitous epistle-dedicatory to an evidently charming lady, designed as a "bland" and leisurely book, free from any trace of war's horrors or modern perplexities, the sort you could read comfortably with a sore throat on you. I think if I had not been in such rude health I might have managed the five hundred and eighty odd close-set pages without getting just a little tired of his worthy Essex peasants of the time of the great Hyde Park Exhibition. _Jinny_ herself is a perfect darling, of real wit and character, and her business as the local carrier gives a plausible machinery for the introduction of an enormous number, a truly Dickensian profusion, of subsidiary characters. _Jinny_ indeed is above criticism, but the trouble with many, indeed with most, of the others, seemed to me to be their exaggerated sprightliness of speech, just a little too clever to be credible and not quite amusing enough to be palatable in large doses. To me the real pleasure of the book comes from the author's craftsmanlike use of words and the humour and imagination of his descriptions and asides. But if I may be humbly candid beyond the custom of my trade I must confess to an uncomfortable impression that sounder qualities in the reviewer would have discovered greater qualities in the work.

* * * * *

I rather suspect Mrs. GERTRUDE ATHERTON of having written _The Avalanche_ (MURRAY) either for the amusement of exercise in an unfamiliar medium, or, well, for any motive that might explain a production certainly not quite up to her own standard. Its publishers (who may be prejudiced) consider _The Avalanche_ as "a brilliant and engaging study of mystery and romance;" me it impressed as a melodrama dependent on one long-heralded sensation, which proves on tardy arrival an affair of disappointment. I suppose I must be careful not to give away the mystery, such as it is. _Price Rugler_ was anxious to discover why his attractive wife assumed a worried look when money was mentioned and fainted on being told that she was not to wear the family ruby at a particular masque. All this happened (you may not be astonished to hear) in San Francisco, amongst that luxurious, idle, over-moneyed society whose manners Mrs. ATHERTON knows and describes so well. _Price_ had already found out, with the assistance of a not too brilliant detective, that his wife's mother derived her income from a gambling saloon; the remaining problem was how to link up this knowledge with the odd behaviour of _Mrs. Price_. Perhaps you see it already. She had been--No, I said I wouldn't, and I won't. Of course the discovery couldn't be called cheerful, though it was fortunately made in time to prevent any great harm. But it was nothing like an avalanche.

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* * * * *

It is much harder, I am afraid, to be a good Bengali than a good Englishman. _Nikhil_, the Rajah of Sir RABINDRANATH TAGORE'S _The Home and the World_ (MACMILLAN), persists in treating _Sandip Babu_ (a convinced Nietzchean in philosophy and a Nationalist of the most inflammable type) as an honoured guest of his household, in spite of the fact that he differs from the fellow profoundly on every conceivable topic and is well aware, moreover, that _Sandip_ is rapidly winning the heart of his Rani, _Bimala_. _Nikhil_, you see, considers that "all imposition of force is weakness," and that "only the weak dare not be just." Most Westerners, I think, would have kicked the rhapsodical and rather plausible agitator out-of-doors and felt all the better for it from the boot-toe upwards. The real truth is that the story, which is written in the form of a triple autobiography (_Nikhil, Sandip_ and _Bimala_ all taking a hand at telling it in turn) is an exposition of two views of Suadeshi, or what may be called the Sinn Fein movement in India. _Nikhil_ is the apostle of "self-realisation" as a moral force; _Sandip_ believes in grabbing whatever you can. The latter first deifies his country (_Bande Mataram,_ or "Hail, Mother!" is the Nationalist motto) and then identifies _Bimala_ with the object of his worship, which seems a very convenient theory. As for _Bimala_, she wavers between the two. The romantic interest of the book (which is, by the way, a translation) breaks down rather badly when it becomes clear that _Sandip_ is not really a big enough man to make a complete conquest of the Rani; but from every other point of view it is supremely interesting. And if _Nikhil_ might perhaps have been improved by a little less force of character and more of shoe-leather, _Bimala_, at any rate, is a delightful personage.

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Even "KATHARINE TYNAN" must sometimes fall below her own standard, and _The Man from Australia_ (COLLINS), though written with considerable grace and charm, is too thin in plot to be altogether satisfactory. _John Darling_, a youngish man of wealth and an extremely liberal disposition, came from Australia to visit his connexions in the West of Ireland and--if opportunities occurred--to help them. Opportunities did offer themselves in abundance. The _Adairs_ in their various ways were ripe for a benefactor of the _Darling_ type to appear, and _John_ soon got busy. In the course of his activities--for it would have been unkind (and very dull) to bring him all the way from Australia to Ireland just to serve as a travelling relief-fund--he is made to fall in love with one of the _Adair_ girls. And that's almost the whole story. One may always trust Mrs. HINKSON to get her atmosphere right; but she is not so happy in her attempt to contrast the preternaturally unselfish _Darling_ who, like an earlier _Mr. Darling_, would have been content to live in a kennel) with the inordinately self-indulgent father of the _Adairs_.

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THE NEW ORDER OF THINGS.

"I assume," said the Cynic, "that you are sufficiently sanguine to rejoice in the prospects of Peace."

"I derive a certain satisfaction from those prospects," replied Mr. Punch on a note of reserve.

"But you ought to be jazzing for joy, like the other fools in their Paradise of nigger minstrelsy."

"My years excuse me from choric exercises," said the Sage. "And, anyhow, it doesn't take me that way."

"Then you are not in the movement. You are not in touch with the spiritual pulse of our throbbing Metropolis; you take no active part in the New Life that is springing from the seed of England's sacrifices. True, your years, as you say, are against you, however well you wear them: it is to the young that we look first for signs of the great Regeneration. And in particular we look to those who are to be the mothers of that future race which should reap the full harvest of our blood and tears.

"And what do we find?" continued the Cynic. "We find a contempt for the old virtues of simplicity and reticence; we find the distinction of sex wiped out, and with it all reverence and sense of mystery. Nature is a back number with them; they must for ever be plastering their noses with powder--not just privily, as used to be the better way of faded charmers, but shamelessly in public places. In dress they barely keep within the bounds of decency prescribed by the police. They make their own advances, rounding up and capturing their 'boys' for partners, lest the haunts of jazzery should be closed against them. And in this competition for their favours the good modest fellows who only a little while ago were fighting our battles for us are now giving themselves the airs of spoilt beauties. What do you make of all this in your scheme of Renaissance?"

"I admit much of what you say," said Mr. Punch, "but I ascribe it, in part at least, to a natural reaction from the strain and horror of War."

"'Reaction'!" snorted the Cynic. "A very comfortable word. But what were the sufferings from which they are 'reacting'? The loss, you will say, of the flower of our chivalry in battle? Well, one would think that might have steadied them. Is this what our manhood died for--to make a British carnival?"

"I don't pretend to understand that side of it," said the Sage, "but I know that during the War we respected the silence of their grief; and I know that nature must choose its own way of recovering from a loss and reasserting its claim to happiness. Remember, too, that War must always have its demoralising features, however splendid the cause for which you are fighting. 'Let us eat and drink, for to-morrow we die,' says the soldier in his brief intervals of release. And some of us at home went more than half-way to meet him, imitating an attitude excusable in him but not in us. And that attitude is bound to survive for a little time the causes that induced it. But you must not forget that many of the type which you are now attacking did noble work in the War; and they will do it again."

"That may be," said the Cynic; "but is it necessary to have an orgy of _Carmagnole_ in between?"

"I think perhaps it is like the case of a crew or a team going out of training. They permit themselves a certain relaxation before they start training for the next contest. But I think too that there is something to be said for your reference to the _Carmagnole_. We are passing through a phase of Revolution, very natural after a great upheaval. The sense of freedom--the very thing for which we have been fighting--is apt to turn the heads of the young and thoughtless. There is a spirit of rebellion in the air, which at its worst takes the form of Bolshevism, but here is seen in a relatively harmless shape as a general revolt against social restriction, a general passion for what is known as 'a good time.' In any case it is only a passing phase. Already there are signs of a reaction from this reaction; of a return to the decency of other days. They tell me, for a slight but significant indication, that the waltz is coming back; that we may even look to see a revival of the, minuet and pavane."

"Then it is just a question of a cycle of vogues? We are to be swayed by recurring gusts of fashion, and not inspired by a fixed ideal."

"Fashion counts with us, of course, for we are human and some of us are feminine. There was a fashion of patriotism as there is now a fashion of something that might easily be mistaken for its opposite. But the range of its influence is largely confined to a rather negligible element in London, the most provincial of capitals. The Press--and notably the Photographic Press--gives it a prominence out of all relation to its importance. The great majority are untouched by it. They talk little and they advertise less. But in a thousand quiet ways they are setting themselves to make good."

"To make good money, you mean. Our world seems made up of profiteers and of those who would be profiteers but can't, and so abuse those who can. Can you name to me a period when there was a wilder rush for wealth, or a more blatant display of luxury? Sometimes I wish the War back; England was at her best when the call for sacrifice came home to her. But how--we hear great talk of Reconstruction, but I am reminded rather of the Restoration."

"My friend," said the Sage, "I shall believe that this too is only a temporary phase. Memory is not our strong point, but you can perhaps throw back your mind to a year ago and recall how near we came to the ruin of our hopes. Victory took us by surprise; and we were less prepared for Peace at that moment than we ever had been for War. And, just as in the first days of the fighting we went astray, running after the cry, 'Business-as-usual,' so to-day we are making as bad a mistake when we run after 'Pleasure-as-usual'--or rather more than usual. But we soon revised that early error, and we shan't waste much time about revising this. For though we lacked imagination then, and still lack it, we have the gift, perhaps even more useful if less showy, of common sense. And when common sense is found in natures that are honest and hearts that are clean it may make mistakes, but not for long.

"No, I am an optimist, and an incorrigible old fool, if you like, but I am certain that the spirit which won the War is not going to fail us at this second call. Perhaps we have only been waiting for the actual consummation of Peace to settle down to our new and greater task.

"And now I must excuse myself from further dialogue, having a mission to perform in connection with this very task. I go to distribute a corrective for some of the evils of Peace, as indicated by you. My motor-lorry, stuffed with samples, awaits me without."

"And what is the nature of your patent medicine?" said the Cynic, very cynically.

"It is," replied Mr. Punch, very confidently but also very modestly,--"it is a little thing of my own. It is, in fact; my

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CARTOONS.

PARTRIDGE, BERNARD Babes in the Wood (The) 25 Bear Turns (The) 443 Cinderella 183 Cramping his Style 283 "Dora" discomfited 63 Dove at Sea (The) 303 "Dry" Humour 123 England Expects 163 Faith Restored 463 First German Victory (The) 83 Foch-Terrier (The) 203 Germany Draws the Pen 383 Ghosts at Versailles 363 Giving Him Rope 143 Honour Satisfied 423 In the Subscription Lists 483 Irresistible Claim (An) 223 Loving Cup (The) 403 Military Muzzle (The) 343 1919 Model (The) 9 Overweighted 243 Peril Without (The) 263 Philanderer (The) 503 Progressive Weight-lifter (The) 103 Reckoning (The) 323 World's Desire (The) 43

RAVEN-HILL, L. Another Threatened Industry 215 Army of Unoccupation (The) 275 Cautious Dictator (A) 375 Cheerful Pachyderm (The) 315 Dawn of Intelligence in Berlin 155 Distractions of an Indispensable 235 Easter Offering (The) 295 Finishing Touch (The) 475 Goose that Lays the Golden Eggs (The) 135 Great Renunciation (The) 415 Home from Home (A) 175 Imperial Preference 355 International Stakes (The) 435 Lost Ally (The) 75 New Commercial Traveller (The) 55 New Issue (The) 455 Order of Release (The) 95 Peace Queue (The) 395 Reconstruction; a New Year's Task 3 Redress Rehearsal (A) 495 Ruins of Empire 35 Spring Defensive (A) 255 Turn of the Tide (The) 195 Victim (The) 115

TOWNSEND, F. H. Menace of May (The) 335 War Against the Public (The) 19

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ARTICLES.

ANDERSON, MAJOR GORDON Mistress and Maid 262

ARMSTRONG, H. Labour Notes 449 _Rus in Urbe_ 428

BAIN, CAPT. B. W. Cast 134

BELL, ROBERT _Autres Temps, Autres Moers_ 54 Perfectly Unauthentic Anecdotes 234

BERRY, H. W. To an Egyptian Boy 24

BIRD, CAPT. A. W. Joshua 40

BRETHERTON, CYRIL Bolshevismus 346 Charivaria weekly Coal 450 _Dulce Domum_ 110 Patriot's Reward (The) 217 Songs of Innocence 432 To a dear Departed 138 To-day in the Food Garden 274 War-Dogs' Party (The) 65, 88

BROWN, C. L. M. Back to the Cam 374 Good-bye to the Auxiliary Patrol 154, 174 Rhymes of Rank 320 Tragedy of Over-Education (A) 58

BROWN, J. B. Contracts 148

BURGE, M. R. K. Small-Talk 318

BURROW, C. K. Red Wine of the Country (The) 186

CARTER, DESMOND Bakerloonacy 407

CHANDLER, MISS B. W. Collaboration. 366

COWAN, M. A. Blighty Impressions 80

CRASTER, LIEUT. COL. J. E. E. Edentulous Persons 114

CRAWFORD, CAPT. L. I. N.Y.D. 448 Propaganda in the Balkans 296

CUNDY, C. W. "As You Were" 338 Balaam Stakes (The) 474 Error in Tactics (An) 456 Spring Ideal (A) 414 Tangled Triangle (A) 496

DARMADY, CAPT. E. S. Poet (The) 476

DEANS, F. H. Our Beauty Column 60

DE BANZIE, ERIC Spoil-Sport (The) 314

DE STEIN, EDWARD My Sergeant-Major-Domo 96

DIXEY, H. G. Early One Morning 86

DRAKE, MAURICE Diamond-cut-Diamond 408

DUKES, MAJOR A. Pumpenheim 436

ELIAS, FRANK With the Red Guards. 321

ELLIS, D. C. Acute Angler (The) 136

ENGLEMAN, S. E. Tendencies 126

FARJEON, MISS E. Dancing demobilised 128 State Lotteries 190

FENN, C. R. Real Dalrymple (The) 96

FOOTE, S. H. W. Maternal Instinct (The) 280

FOX-SMITH, MISS C. Old Ships (The) 290 Rhyme of the "Rio Grande" 34

FYLEMAN, MISS ROSE Bird Lore 477, 499 Blue Hat (The) 316 Princess Charming 156 Royal Interview (A) 468 Trees and Fairies 74

GARSTIN, CROSBIE Hairies (The) 402 Mud Larks (The) 22, 68, 120, 156, 214, 260, 300, 360, 478 Old Soldiers 342

GARVEY, MISS INA Blanche's Letters 416 Tea-cup Twaddle 254

GILLMAN, CAPT. W. H. Career, (The) 54 Career (Postponed) (The) 318 Demobilisation Disaster (A) 20 Macedonia 286 Teaching Tommy 79

GLASGOW, GEORGE Embarrassment and the Lawyer 454 Game of the Telephone (The) 210

GRAHAM, R. D. C. Brighter Side of Peace (The). 294

GRAVES, C. L. Anti-Picadors (The) 5 Brains and Baldness 345 Celtic Counterblast (A) 366 Conscription of Brains (The) 467 Contra Appreciation (A) 139 Literary Gossip 308 More Musical Reconstruction 406 Musical Gossip 23 Musical Reconstruction 386 Need of our Times (The) 498 Passing of Greek (The) 298 Recognition à la mode 446 Renaissance (The) 429 Silly Seasoning 248 Test of Friendship (The) 208 To M. Georges Clemenceau 182 To the Speaker on his Re-election 117 Weary Titan (The) 41 Why drag in Mrs. Siddons? 505 Winchester's Opportunity 106

GREENLAND, GEORGE Going to the Bank 494

GUTHRIE, ANSTEY Dogs' Delight 348 Treacherous Son (The) 420

HEALY, LESLIE Day (The) 410

HERBERT, LIEUT. A. P., R.N.V.R. Anniversary (The) 369 Another Crisis 102 Appointment (The) 122 Revolt (The) 349 Space Problem (The) 207 Spring Cleaning 377 Thoughts in Committee 62

HODGE, H. S. V. Chant Royal of Cricket 380

HODGKINSON, T. Cricket Bargain (A) 480 Plea for Proportion (A) 106

HODGSON, CAPT. N. To a Chinese Coolie 150

HOLMES, CAPT. W. K. Army of Entertainment, Ltd. 28 Art in the Arctic 490 Blanket Astray (The) 130 Murman Amenities 418 Murmansk Mosquito (The) 470 Spring Modes at Murmansk 380

HOLT, R. G. Local Colour 128

HOPWOOD, REAR-ADMIRAL New Navy (The) 60

HUTCHINSON, H. G. Fine Ear for the Haspirate (A) 80

HYSLOP, CAPT. A. F. Last of His Race (The) 378

IMAGE, MRS. Coal-Dust 160

IRVING, CAPT. L. H. Tragedy of the Super-Patriot 257

IRWIN, FELIX Mélisande's Point of View 438

JAGGER, ARTHUR Ptero-dactyls 202

JAY, THOMAS Charivaria weekly Midget (The) 166

JENKINS, ERNEST Daily and Maily 97 New School (A) 85

KERR, S. P. Counter-Revolutionary Collar 270

KIDD, ARTHUR Drink of the Gods (The) 90

KILPATRICK, MRS. _Français tel que l'on le parle (Le)_ 170 _Nouvelles de Paris_ 140, 180, 220 Peace Terms 320

KNOX, CAPT. E. V. New Arm (The) 422 Nomads (The) 398 Revanche 362 Those Dresses 502 Veges on Strike (The) 490 Waiting for the Spark 440 Way Out 390

LANCASTER, G. B. Our Bivvie 87

LANGLEY, MAJOR F. O. Career (A) 179 Watch Dogs (The) 10, 200

LEHMANN, R. C. Bablingo. 327 Consultation (A) 150 Criticism in Excelsis 310 End of the Volunteers (The) 70 Father Thames Talks 86 Hair Cutting and Dentistry 30 Hanwelliad (The) 270 Hardy Annual (A) 190 Laxity in Quotations 368 Milky Molar (The) 167 More Alleviations 390 Mrs. Bloggings's Statement 239 New Game (The) 50 Old Dog (An) 208

LEWIS, M. A. Boy (Second Class) 6 Business as Usual 442 Cross Country 500 Fearful Odds 322 More Reprisals 38 On the high C.'s 482 Patriot Pig (The) 116 Trump Suit (The) 180

LIAS, A. G. Necromancers (The) 36

LIPSCOMB, CAPT. W. P. How to throw off an Article 18 Lèse-Majesté 48 On the Rhine 196, 218, 276 Road to the Rhine (The) 76, 176

LOCKER, W. A. Essence of Parliament weekly during Session Parliamentary Casualties 26