Part 3

Even in commonplace English dress SILOMIO made a striking figure as he stood at the table, and belaboured it for "Swaziland, my Swaziland." Looked at times as if he were going to leap over, and seize by the throat SYDNEY BUXTON provokingly smiling on the other side. Last week's handkerchief hanging out from his coat tail pocket, in liberal measure though crumpled state, lent a weird effect to back view, not interrupted by inconvenient crowding on front Opposition Bench. Odd how SILOMIO'S colleagues in late Ministry find business elsewhere when he rises to orate.

_Business done._--Talking round Address.

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_Thursday._--Rather painful scene in House to-night. CHAPLIN resuming debate on Address led its course gently by the still waters of bimetallism. Somehow that a subject that has never quite entranced attention of frivolous Commons. It works certain subtle spell upon them. At clink of sovereign and shilling between argumentative finger and thumb they slink away. So it was to-night whilst CHAPLIN spoke. Faithful among the faithless found was JEMMY LOWTHER. He sat attentive beside the orator with an expression of profound wisdom, unmitigated by boyish habit of keeping his hands in his trouser pocket, not without suspicion of furtively counting his marbles or attempting to open his knife with the fingers of one hand.

JEMMY and CHAPLIN rank amongst oldest boys in the school. One took his seat for mid-Lincolnshire in December, 1868; saw the rise to supreme power of Mr. G. and, with some intervals, suffered it up to the end. The other rode in triumphantly from York one July day in 1865. Thus their united Parliamentary ages if fifty-seven, a record hard to beat. Shoulder to shoulder they have, through all this time, resisted attacks on British Constitution. Now, suddenly, publicly, in eye of the scorner, came sharp parting of the ways.

CHAPLIN viewing state of things depressing industrial communities admitted it was very bad. Mills closed, mines empty, ship-building yards silent, workmen starving. Only one thing would save the State--Bimetallism. "Is there anyone," said the orator with magnificent wave of arm round desolate benches; "who has any other suggestion to make for the salvation of these industries?" Then up spoke JEMMY LOWTHER. "I have," he said with final tug at the blade of the knife hidden in his pocket.

CHAPLIN stood aghast. Could it be possible--his own familiar friend? He turned, looked down on him, gasping for breath. Then in a hollow voice he added, "What has my right hon. friend been doing all this time? Why doesn't he make his proposal?"

Here was an opening for apology, recantation, or at least, submissive silence. But JEMMY evidently gone to the bad; got the bit between his teeth and bolted. "I've made it over and over again," he growled, thinking resentfully of his much crying in the wilderness for that blessed thing Protection. Ribald House roared with laughter. CHAPLIN, cut to heart, avoided repetition of painful incident by bringing oration to early conclusion.

"Let's put this matter to practical test, TOBY," he said. "Come along with me, and we'll consult the Unemployed."

Not far to go. On Westminster Bridge a hollow-cheeked man leaning over low wall stared at ice-floes silently gliding down with the tide. "My good man," said CHAPLIN, "you look unemployed, and I daresay you're hungry. Now, in order to put you straight, which would you rather have, Bimetallism or Protection?"

"Well, if you don't mind, master," said the Unemployed huskily, "I'd like a chunk o' bread."

"Ah!" said CHAPLIN, "these people are so illogical." And he gave him half-a-crown.

_Business done._--Drifted into debate on Bimetallism. Business can wait.

_Friday._--SQUIRE OF MALWOOD left sick room to take part in debate and division on JEFFREYS' Amendment to Address. Self-devotion dangerous on foggy, frosty night. But the result worth it, at least for crowded House that heard the speech. Best thing of the kind done in House since DIZZY'S prime. SQUIRE evidently profited by necessity for rapidity of composition. The sharpest barbs aimed at quivering figure of JOKIM sitting opposite.

"Wot's this he means about stealing my clothes when I was bathing?" said HARDIE, with puzzled look. "With thirteen degrees of frost under the fog I DON'T KEIR less than ever about bathing. As for my clothes, they might suit PRINCE ARTHUR, but they wouldn't quite fit him."

_Business done._--Amendment to Address defeated by twelve votes in House of 534 Members.

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Superior Studies.

_Literature and Philosophy Class for Female Students._

_Master._ What is the analogy between _Hamlet_ and MIRABEAU?

_First Girl_ (_rising_). I know. (_Pause, then suddenly, and with determination._) MIRABEAU didn't get on well with his father, and _Hamlet_ was at daggers drawn with his uncle.

[_Reseats herself triumphantly._

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RESETTING AN OLD SAW.--The descriptive writer in the _Daily Telegraph_, giving his account of the opening of Parliament, observed that "Hypercritics have combated the generally accepted axiom that one pea entirely resembles another," and he went on to show how one parliamentary crowd resembled any other parliamentary crowd at the initial ceremony. Assuming therefore this similarity, suppose we re-set the old saw, and say, "_As like as two M.P.'s_."

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Note: [=O], [=o] represent O-macron, o-macron.