Chapter 2

Bayswater. Rhubarb-green and gilt paper, with dark olive dado: curtains of a nondescript brown. Black marble clock on grey granite mantelpiece; Landseer engravings; tall book-case, containing volumes of "The Quiver," "Mission-Work in Mesopotamia," a cheap Encyclopedia, and the "Popular History of Europe." Time, about 9:45._ Mr. MONTAGUE TIDMARSH _is leaving to catch his omnibus_. Mrs. T. _is at her Davenport in the window_.

_Mr. T._ (_from the door_). Anything else you want me to do, MARIA?

_Mrs. T._ Don't forget the turbot--and mind you choose it yourself--and the lobster for the sauce--oh, and look in at SEAKALE'S as you pass, and remind him to be here punctually at seven, to help JANE with the table, and say I insist on his waiting in _clean_ white gloves; and be home early yourself, and--there, if he hasn't rushed off before I remembered half----(Mr. T. _re-appears at the door_.) What is it _now_, MONTAGUE? I do wish you'd start, and have done with it, instead of keeping JANE at the front door, when she ought to be clearing away breakfast!

_Mr. T._ Very sorry, my love--I was just going, when I met a Telegraph-boy with this, for you, I hope there's nothing wrong with Uncle GABRIEL, I'm sure.

_Mrs. T._ Don't stand there holding it--give it to me. (_She opens it._) "Regret impossible dine to-night--lost Great Aunt very suddenly.--BUCKRAM." How provoking of the man! And I particularly wished him to meet Uncle GABRIEL, because he is such a good listener, and they would be sure to get on together. As if he hadn't all the rest of the year to lose his Aunt in!

_Mr. T._ That's BUCKRAM all over. Never can depend upon that fellow. (_Gloomily._) Now we shall be thirteen at table!

_Mrs. T._ Nonsense, MONTAGUE--we _can't_ be! Let me see--Uncle GABRIEL and Aunt JOANNA, two; the DITCHWATERS, four; BODFISHES, six; TOOMERS, eight; Miss BUGLE, nine; Mr. POFFLEY, ten; CECILIA FLINDERS, eleven, ourselves--we _are_ thirteen! And I know Uncle will refuse to sit down at all if he notices it; and, anyway, it is sure to cast a gloom over the whole thing. We _must_ get somebody!

_Mr. T._ Couldn't that Miss--what's her name? SEATON--dine, for once?

_Mrs. T._ The idea, MONTAGUE! Then there would be one Lady too many--if you can _call_ a Governess a Lady, that is. And I do so disapprove of taking people out of their proper station.

_Mr. T._ I might wire to FILLETER or MAKEWAYT--but I rather think they're both away, and it won't do to run any risk. Shall I bring home STERNSTUHL or FEDERFUCHS? Very quiet, respectable young fellows, and I could let one of 'em go off early to dress.

_Mrs. T._ Thank you, MONTAGUE--but I won't have one of your German clerks at _my_ table--everyone would see what he was in a minute. And he mightn't even have a dress-suit! Let me think ... _I_ know what we can do. BLANKLEY supplies extra guests for parties and things. I remember seeing it in the paper. We must hire a man there. Go there at once, MONTAGUE, it's very little out of your way, and tell them to be sure and send a gentlemanly person--he needn't talk much, and he won't be required to tell any anecdotes. Make haste, say they can put him down to my deposit account.

_Mr. T._ I don't half like the idea, MARIA, but I suppose it's the only thing left. I'll go and see what they can do for us.

[_He goes out._

_Mrs. T._ I _know_ he'll make some muddle--I'd better do it myself! (_She rushes out into the passage._) JANE, is your Master gone? Call him back--there, I'll do it. (_She calls after Mr. T.'s retreating form from the doorstep._) MONTAGUE! never mind about BLANKLEY'S. _I_'ll see to it. Do you hear?

_Mr. T.'s Voice_ (_from the corner_). All right, my love, all right! I hear.

_Mrs. T._ I must go round before lunch. JANE, send Miss SEATON to me in the breakfast-room. (_She goes back to her desk; presently_ Miss MARJORY SEATON _enters the room; she is young and extremely pretty, with an air of dejected endurance_.) Oh, Miss SEATON, just copy out these _menus_ for me, in your neatest writing, and see that the French is all right. You will have plenty of time for it, as I shall take Miss GWENDOLEN out myself this morning. By the way, I shall expect you to appear in the drawing-room this evening before dinner. I hope you have a suitable frock?

_Miss Seaton._ I have a black one with lace sleeves and heliotrope _chiffon_, if that will do--it was made in Paris.

_Mrs. T._ You are fortunate to be able to command such luxuries. All _my_ dresses are made in the Grove.

_Miss Seat._ (_biting her lip_). Mine was made when we--before I---- [_She checks herself._

_Mrs. T._ You need not remind me _quite_ so often that your circumstances were formerly different, Miss SEATON, for I am perfectly aware of the fact. Otherwise, I should not feel justified in bringing you in contact, even for so short a time, with my relations and friends, who are _most_ particular. I think that is all I wanted you for at present. Stop, you are forgetting the _menus_.

[Miss SEATON _collects the cards and goes out with compressed lips as_ JANE _enters_.

_Jane._ Another telegram, if you please, M'm, and Cook would like to speak to you about the pheasants.