Chapter 3

"You remind me, dear TOBY," said the Squire, with a far-away look, "of a story COLERIDGE brought home from his memorable visit to the United States. On his way down to Chicago he went out on the platform of the car to breathe the air and look at the scenery. 'Come off that,' said the Conductor, following him, 'you can't stand on the platform.' 'My good man,' said JOHN DUKE--you know his silver voice and his bland manner--'what is a platform for, if not to stand on?' 'Platforms,' said the Conductor, sententiously, 'are not made to stand on, they are made to get in on.'"

_Business done_.--Miscellaneous.

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ON THE ROW AMONG THE ROMANCERS.

Trust me, scribes who fight and jeer, From yon blue heavens above us bent, DICKENS and THACKERAY and SCOTT Smile at the grumbling Yankee gent.

Howe'er it be, it seems to me A Novel needs but to be _good_; Romancer's more than Realist, And True Love's course than too much "Blood"!

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TOO CONSCIENTIOUS.--"As a protest against gambling in connection with _Orme_," Mr. W. JOHNSTON, M.P., refused to attend a meeting at the Duke of WESTMINSTER's "for the prevention of the demoralisation of the uncivilised heathen races." Does Mr. W.J. include the Derby among the "heathen races" in connection with _Orme_?

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QUITE APPROPRIATE.--"Acorse," says ROBERT, "it's the rite thing as that the Orse Show at Hislington should be honnerd with the pressince of the LORD MARE."

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