Chapter 3

One or two of the especially well-informed dramatic critics who, of course, had seen the original piece _Miss Helyett_ in Paris, asked why the English adapter had taken the trouble to invent nine sisters for the heroine; the nine sisters never being seen and having nothing whatever to do with the plot. Here the well-informed ones were to a certain extent wrong. In the original French piece, _Miss Helyett_,--whose name, as is suggested by _Woman_, is evidently a French rendering for "Miss ELLIOT," which M. BOUCHERON "concluded was her Christian name"--speaking of herself, says to her father, "_Vous savez bien, mon père, que vous n'avez pas de plus grande admiratrice que votre onzième enfant._" And the Reverend SMITHSON tells her, a little later, "_J'ai casé toutes tes soeurs très jeunes_--" and "_Je ne devrais pourtant pas avoir de peine à trouver un onzième gendre._"

That is why he is travelling to get an "_onzième gendre_" for his "_onzième enfant_." The English adapter relieved Mr. SMITHSON of one of his family, and so _Miss Helyett Smithson_ became _Miss Decima Jackson_, i.e., the tenth, instead of the eleventh, of the worthy pastor's family. The fact that all her sisters are married, makes single unblessedness a reproach to her. No sort of purpose would have been served by such a wholesale massacre of innocents as the extinction of all _Pastor Smithson's_, alias _Jackson's_, ten "pretty chicks at one fell swoop."

Miss NESVILLE, the foreign representative of _Miss Decima_ at the Criterion, is uncommonly childlike and bland; moreover, she sings charmingly; while of Mr. DAVID JAMES as the pastor _Jackson_ it may be said, "Sure such a _père_ was never seen!" The Irishman, Mr. CHAUNCEY OLCOTT, has a mighty purty voice, and gains a hearty _encore_ for a ditty of which the music is not particularly striking. Mr. PERCY REEVE has written words which go glibly to AUDRAN's music, and fit the situations. The piece is capitally played and sung all round; and marvellous is Miss VICTOR as the Spanish mother. The _mise-en-scène_ is far better here than it is in Paris, where this "musical-comedy" is still an attraction.

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HOW TO BE POPULAR.

(_ADVICE TO AN ASPIRANT._)

Dear sir, if you long for the love of a nation, If you wish to be _fêted_, applauded, caressed; If you hope for receptions, and want an ovation, By the populace cheered, by Town Councils addressed; I can give you succinctly a certain receipt-- Be detected at once and denounced as a cheat.

It's as easy as lying; you eat all your cake, Sir, And you have it as well, which was never a sin, By adding a trifling amount to your stake, Sir, When the points of the cards show you're certain to win. You'll be slapped on the back by the "man in the street," Who delights to sing pæans in praise of a cheat.

They take the poor thief or the forger to jail, oh, Where he cleans out his cell and picks oakum all day; _You_ pose as a martyr and get a cheap halo Ready-made by the public, with nothing to pay. Believe me, dear Sir, there is nothing can beat For triumph and joy the career of a cheat.

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EXIT LA CLAQUE.--"_A partir d'apres demain samedi_," says the _Figaro_ for August 6:--"M. LEMONNIER, _le Directeur d'été et l'auteur de Madame la Maréchale, supprime le service de la claque à 'Ambigu_." When _Madame la Maréchale_ has finished her run, will the _claque_ be re-admitted to start a new piece? This is snubbing your friends in a time of prosperity. If the _claque_ has the courage of its opinions--but stay, can a _claque_ have any opinions? No: it must follow its leader; and its leader obeys orders. If ever any set of men came into a theatre "with orders," the _claque_ is that set. Poor _claque_! Summoned in adversity, banished in prosperity, why not do away with it altogether, and trust to public expression of opinion for applause?

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NOTICE.--Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception.