Part 3

It is not the English nature, but the English climate that makes us take our pleasures sadly (if we do, which we don't). And it is not the fault of the English nature, but of the organisers, if our public pageants are usually, like our statues, more or less good-humoured burlesques of what they are meant to represent. Now Eastbourne has triumphantly shown that, in spite of chilling and heavy rain, England can rival the sunny South in the beauty and variety of a big procession of floral cars. And if Eastbourne can do this, why can it not be done elsewhere? "Organise, organise, organise," and let the hireling merrymaker be conspicuously absent. Your hireling will still wear his armour as if he were bearing the _spolia opima_ of a burgled marine-store dealer. And the lady hireling, as a sea-nymph or a shepherdess, can never quite forget what she owes to her dignity as a respectable married woman. In the interests of the family exchequer, and in the way of business, she may consent to dally with allegory, but her heart is not in the mermaid's grot, nor do the spacious times of Great ELIZABETH inspire her, beyond the Victorian circus-smile, the circus-smile which puts a girdle round about the face for forty minutes, or more if the procession be so long a-field. At the Eastbourne Battle of Flowers everyone lived up to his or her coach, carriage, wheel-barrow or cart, in a way which speaks volumes for the artistic sense of the South Saxons. The children, as children use, took the cake--after Mr. EDGAR BRUCE. They were there in great numbers and variety, from the little _Titania_ in her fairy goat-chaise, o'er canopied with flowers and flying doves, to the very small skipper of the very realistic ship, who stood on the rainy deck with drawn sword and unswerving dignity for some two hours of constant and crowded parading. "Bravo, BURNABY," is the resultant cry of gratified spectators, and better weather next time. A better show it would be ungrateful to suggest.

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Umra Khan's Consigne.

When headstrong chieftains say "I shan't," Or do the things they're bidden not to, Like UMRA KHAN (now UMRA can't), They'll find "_non possumus_" their motto.

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AGRICULTURAL PROSPECTS.--The Kent farmers are looking forward to a hoppy future. "What's the odds" to _them_ "as long as they're hoppy?"

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"A 'FELT' WANT."--A comfortable _and_ respectable-looking billycock hat.

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Transcriber's Note:

Page 205: 'thorougfares' corrected to 'thoroughfares'

"The route, which ran chiefly through main thoroughfares,..."

Page 208: 'preson' corrected to 'person'

"If a person came to you and said that, what reply would you give him?"

Page 208: 'ongues' corrected to 'tongues'

"But our tongues shall laud, whilst those tongues can wag,..."

Page 209: 'isplaye' corrected to 'displayed'

"More charms displayed in form and feature."

Page 209: 'break', possibly (Oxford English Dictionary), break^{3} - n. Carriage-frame with no body, for breaking in young horses; large wagonette. Seems correct in context:

"Seems that break went wrong going down-hill. Well, no "safety tandem" for _me_ again--can't _stand 'em_, myself, not being in favour of infanticide. Give _me_ a good old mail cart!"

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