Part 3

"OYSTER _BARS_."--The prohibitive price of natives and the typhoid scare.

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OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

The anonymous author of _"Spot," an Autobiography_ (HOULSTON AND SONS, Paternoster Square), whoever he may be, has a remarkable insight into dog-nature, so far, that is, as one who is not a dog, but a mere lover of dogs, can judge. _Spot_ tells his own story in a straightforward, honest, doggy style, which must commend him at once to the hearts of his readers. His reflections, from the canine point of view, are admirably just. He never cared for flowers. "How vapid," he says, "is the scent of a rose, for instance, compared with that of an old seasoned bone." The force of the remark must be appreciated by anyone who has watched a dog exhuming with furtive labour a bone he had buried a week before. A firm foe to cats, he yet makes an exception in favour of his house-cat, as all civilised cat-destroying dogs do. The bull-dog's greeting to him is, in itself, a revelation of character. "Cheer up, youngster! Any good smells hereabouts?" says that redoubtable animal; whereupon they saunter together round by the back of the house, "passing few smells of any importance until we arrived at the ashpit." But I cannot here quote at greater length from his wise remarks. I can honestly advise all lovers of dogs (boys especially) to read this wholesome, pleasant, clever little book.

THE BARON DE BOOK-WORMS.

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SLIGHT IMPROVEMENT.--France has "come to the Faure." That's good to begin with, From a Republican to a "Bourgeois" Ministry is not much of a step, but still it is a step, Faure-wards, or rather upwards, as a conscientious, self-respecting Bourgeois can never be an anarchist. LOUIS PHILIPPE was a "bourgeois king," and, after him, France "went Nap" and returned to Imperialism. But where's the Imperialist ruler now? Is the latest betting Faure to one on the Republic?

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BLACK MAGIC.

We'd done the latest picture-shows, Had honoured some with our approval, Expressed a cultured scorn for those That merited a prompt removal. And then, to pass the time away, Disliking melodramas tragic, We chanced to go--oh, hapless day!-- To see some "feats of modern magic."

I don't deny the tricks were good, Nor could you easily see through them, And few of those who "understood Exactly how they're done," could do them. But when the wizard said he'd try To pass a watch to any distance, And find it in the audience--why Did I afford him my assistance?

I thought to spoil the trick he'd planned, Nor did I even feel embittered When made before the crowd to stand, Although my fair companions tittered, But then the scoundrel in their view Remarked, "Is this your usual habit?" And from my pocket calmly drew The watch--_suspended from a rabbit!_

The foolish people laughed and cheered, And as I fled in hasty fashion, My cousins even gaily jeered Instead of showing me compassion! I'd grant them almost any boon, But though they ask it, never that form Will grace, as on this afternoon, A vulgar necromancer's platform!

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RUMOUR.--As ruler of the domain where stands our great theatre and our opera house, Sir DRUIOLANUS, it is reported, is to receive the special distinction of K.C.G., which, in his case, is the Knight of Covent Garden. _Bene meruit_.

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VIEWING A HARE.

(_And the Prospect of a Good Run_.)

The Dramatic Arthurs Society is having a nice time of it just now with ARTHUR PINERO, ARTHUR JONES, ARTHUR LAW, ARTHUR ROBERTS, _King Arthur_, at the Lyceum, and ARTHUR À BECKET at the Garrick Theatre, where _Faded Flowers_, revived, are once again blooming. It is a pretty piece, well played by Mr. ARTHUR BOURCHIER--_encore un Arthur_--and Mrs. BOURCHIER, known to the public as Miss VIOLET VANBRUGH. A little TERRY boy, aged nine, is in it, and Mr. BUIST does his very Buist, or best. The occasion of the revival was the resuscitation of _A Pair of Spectacles_, in which Mr. JOHN HARE is better than ever; and, indeed, he has made it one of his very best eccentric comedy parts. Again Mr. GROVES delights us with his hardwareish impersonation of "the man from Sheffield," a very happy thought on the part of the author-adapter, Mr. GRUNDY.

The occasion of the revival, too, was also noteworthy as being the _début_ of another of the TERRY family, the _ingénue_ of the comedy being played by Miss MABEL TERRY LEWIS, who certainly inherits no small share of the TERRY Talent. Mr. GERALD DU MAURIER, too, is excellent in a marvellously made-up small character part; and BERTIE HARE--the heir of HARE--is very good as the youngster. Mr. HARE has fitted on this "pair of spectacles" just in time; not to have done so would have been shortsighted policy; and through them no doubt he sees his way to a long and highly satisfactory run. These two revivals Mr. HARE may consider not as "a pair of specs," but as "a couple of certainties."

PETER PROSIT.

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WHY IS THE MODERN FICTIONIST LIKE A DOG-FANCIER?--Because he is so fond of short tails.

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Transcriber's Note

Page 46: _Friendship._ The mutual dislike of people on intimate terms. Or, a euphuism for love.

The writer (Marjorie) would appear to have confused 'euphuism' and 'euphemism', perhaps deliberate on the part of the contributer.