Part 3

"Who are these Irish owners," BRODRICK asked, looking severely across table at JOHN MORLEY, "who want to buy their tenants' interest in order to sell it at a higher price?"

"I'll give you their names," cried TIM, after the fashion of the naughty boy safe at the outer edge of a crowd.

"I defy the right hon. gentleman to produce a single instance," BRODRICK continued, taking no notice of TIM.

"I'll give you half a dozen," shouted TIM, ever ready to oblige, though leaving it in doubt whether the half dozen he offered were lashes or other instances. Then the policeman, in shape of SPEAKER, appeared on scene, and for awhile there was silence on the back benches, and dullness regained its sway.

_Business done._--Second Reading Irish Land Bill moved.

THURSDAY.--For illustration of soft answer that turneth away wrath, CAWMEL-BANNERMAN'S reply just now on the shamrock incident perfect in its way. The heart of Ireland stirred by fresh stories of how her sons, turning up on parade on St. Patrick's Day proudly wearing shamrock, were ordered by brutal Saxon officers to "fling it on the ground." TIM HEALY had cases brought under his notice. Never do for this branch of United Ireland to appear as sole champion of national rights in this matter. So wearisome WILLIE REDMOND swaggers on scene with another case.

A delicate subject for SECRETARY OF STATE FOR WAR to handle. On one hand, discipline must be maintained. On the other, national sentiment must not be affronted, especially when represented in House by sufficient votes to turn the scale in any division. CAWMEL-BANNERMAN not only said right thing, but said it in right way. "I myself," he murmured with prettily apologetic air, "stand in a somewhat neutral position, because I belong to a country whose national emblem does not lend itself to the convenience of the button-hole."

House laughed at idea of CAWMEL-BANNERMAN bustling in on St. Andrew's Day with bunch of thistles in his button-hole. With the laugh the battle was won; what might have been in less skilful hands an awkward incident passed off amid genial laughter.

_Business done._--Still explaining why we are not going to oppose Second Reading Irish Land Bill, though we regard it as most revolutionary and dangerous measure of recent times.

_Friday._--Second reading Irish Land Bill through at last. Passed stage without division, which seems odd considering apprehension with which Opposition regard it. Situation largely due to BOANERGES RUSSELL, one of few men who understand Bill. Explained it in luminous speech, like some others thrown away on scanty audience. BOANERGES later indicated his impartial attitude by seating himself between landlord and tenant, represented by JOSEPH of Birmingham and son AUSTEN. JOE incidentally mentions he has only one tenant, that is AUSTEN, "who," he added, with plaintive note, which found echo with the Irish landlords, "pays no rent, and is always coming down on me for compensation."

_Business done._--Irish Land Bill read second time.

* * * * *

LITERARY "FOOD AND FEEDING."

The present generation affirms that it cannot away with _Pickwick_, and is not attracted by _Vanity Fair_. The balance of modern opinion would be rather in favour of THACKERAY than of DICKENS. Take, for example, the two works already quoted, _Pickwick_ and _Vanity Fair_. A common modern objection made to _Pickwick_ is, that the characters in _Pickwick_ are perpetually guttling or imbibing, or both simultaneously. This is, to a certain extent, true. But how about THACKERAY'S characters in _Vanity Fair?_ A careful student has sent us a list of the numerous eatings and drinkings in both novels. In _Pickwick_, reckoning from the brandy-and-water partaken of by _Mr. Jingle_, at the Pickwickians' expense, after the scene with the pugnacious hackney-coachman, and finishing with the breakfast that celebrated the marriage of _Mr. Snodgrass_ with _Miss Emily Wardle_, there are exactly (so we are informed) one hundred and one instances of drinking and eating; some of them being of drinking only, unqualified.

In _Vanity Fair_, from the introduction of _Miss Pinkerton's_ "seed cake," to _Becky_ taking _Amelia_ a cup of tea, _vide_ chapter sixty-seven, we learn, on the same authority, that there are one hundred and fifteen cases "allowed for refreshment" in some form or other.

A collection of the meals of heroes and heroines in the most popular works of fiction, and _menus_ compiled therefrom, might be found interesting, especially if carefully criticised by Sir HENRY THOMPSON in a separate chapter to be added to the next edition of his really invaluable work, namely, _Food and Feeding_. Do the modern novelists feed their characters as plentifully as did DICKENS and THACKERAY theirs? Be this as it may, these two great Twin Brethren--so utterly dissimilar in every thing except in the possession of the gift of genius--fed their readers well and bountifully.

* * * * *

Transcriber's Note:

_ _ represents italic script.

^ represents a superscript.