SCENE IV.--_A First-Class Compartment.

_Spurrell (to himself)._ Formidable old party opposite me in the furs! Nice-looking girl over in the corner; not a patch on my EMMA, though! Wonder why I catch 'em sampling me over their papers whenever I look up! Can't be anything wrong with my turn out. Why, of course, they heard TOM talk about my going down to Wyvern Court; think I'm a visitor there and no end of a nob! Well, what snobs some people are, to be sure!

_Lady Cantire (to herself)._ So this is the young poet I made ALBINIA ask to meet me. I can't be mistaken, I distinctly heard his friend mention _Andromeda_. H'm, well, it's a comfort to find he's _clean!_ Have I read his poetry or not? I know I _had_ the book, because I distinctly remember telling MAISIE she wasn't to read it--but--well, that's of no consequence. He looks clever and quite respectable--not in the least picturesque--which is fortunate. I was beginning to doubt whether it was quite prudent to bring MAISIE; but I needn't have worried myself.

_Lady Maisie (to herself)._ Here, actually in the same carriage! Does he guess who _I_ am? Somehow----Well, he certainly _is_ different from what I expected. I thought he would show more signs of having thought and suffered; for he _must_ have suffered to write as he does. If Mamma knew I had read his poems; that I had actually written to beg him not to refuse Aunt ALBINIA'S invitation! He never wrote back. Of course I didn't put my address; but still, he could have found out from the Red Book if he'd cared. I'm rather glad now he _didn't_ care.

_Spurr. (to himself)._ Old girl seems as if she meant to be sociable; better give her an opening. (_Aloud._) Hem! would you like the window down an inch or two?

_Lady Cant._ Not on _my_ account, thank you.

_Spurr. (to himself)._ Broke the ice, anyway. (_Aloud._) Oh, _I_ don't want it down, but some people are fond of fresh air.

_Lady Cant. (with a dignified little shiver)._ With a temperature as glacial as it is in here! Surely not!

_Spurr._ Well, it _is_ chilly; been raw all day. (_To himself._) She don't answer. I _haven't_ broken the ice.

[_He produces a memorandum book._

_Lady Maisie (to herself)._ He hasn't said anything _very_ original yet. So _nice_ of him not to pose! Oh, he's got a note-book; he's going to compose a poem. How interesting!

_Spurr. (to himself)._ Yes, I'm all right if _Voluptuary_ wins the Lincolnshire Handicap; lucky to get on at the price I did. When will the weights come out for the City and Suburban? Let's see whether the Pink 'Un has anything about it.

[_He refers to the "Sporting Times."_

_Lady Maisie (to herself)._ The inspiration's stopped--_what_ a pity! How odd of him to read the _Globe_! I thought he was a Democrat!

_Lady Cant._ MAISIE, there's quite a clever little notice in _Society Snippets_ about the dance at SKYMPINGS last week. I'm sure I wonder how they pick up these things; it quite bears out what I was told; says the supper arrangements were "simply disgraceful; _no_ plovers' eggs, and not nearly enough champagne; and what there was, undrinkable!" So _like_ poor dear Lady CHESEPARE; never _does_ do things like anybody else. I'm sure _I've_ given her hints enough!

_Spurr. (to himself, with a suppressed grin)._ Wants to let me see _she_ knows some swells. Now _ain't_ that paltry?

_Lady Cant. (tendering the paper)._ Would you like to see it, MAISIE? Just this hit here; where my finger is.

_Lady Maisie (to herself, flushing)._ I saw him smile. What _must_ he think of us, with his splendid scorn for rank? (_Aloud._) No, thank you, Mamma; such a wretched light to read by!

_Spurr. (to himself)._ Chance for _me_ to cut in! (_Aloud._) Beastly light, isn't it? 'Pon my word, the company ought to provide us with a dog and string apiece when we get out!

_Lady Cant. (bringing a pair of long-handled glasses to bear upon him)._ I happen to hold shares in this line. May I ask _why_ you consider a provision of dogs and string at all the stations a necessary or desirable expenditure?

_Spurr._ Oh--er--well, you know, I only meant, bring on _blindness_ and that. Harmless attempt at a joke, that's all.

_Lady Cant._ I see. I scarcely expected that _you_ would condescend to such weakness. I--ah--think you are going down to stay at Wyvern for a few days, are you not?

_Spurr (to himself)._ I was right. What TOM said _did_ fetch the old girl; no harm in humouring her a bit. (_Aloud._) Yes--oh yes, they--aw--wanted me to run down when I could.

_Lady Cant._ I heard they were expecting you. You will find Wyvern a pleasant house--for a short visit.

_Spurr (to himself). She_ heard! Oh, she wants to kid me she knows the CULVERINS. Rats! (_Aloud._) Shall I, though? I daresay.

_Lady Cant._ Lady CULVERIN is a very sweet woman; a little limited, perhaps, not intellectual, or quite what one would call the _grande dame_; but perhaps _that_ could scarcely be expected.

_Spurr. (vaguely)._ Oh, of course not--no. (_To himself._) If she bluffs, so can I! (_Aloud._) It's funny your turning out to be an acquaintance of Lady C.'s, though.

_Lady Cant._ You think so? But I should hardly call myself an _acquaintance_.

_Spurr. (to himself)._ Old cat's trying to back out of it now; she _shan't_, though! (_Aloud._) Oh, then I suppose you know Sir RUPERT best?

_Lady Cant._ Yes, I certainly know Sir RUPERT better.

_Spurr. (to himself)._ Oh, you do, do you? We'll see. (_Aloud._) Nice cheery old chap, Sir RUPERT, isn't he? I must tell him I travelled down in the same carriage with a particular friend of his. (_To himself._) That'll make her sit up!

_Lady Cant._ Oh, then you and my brother RUPERT have met already?

_Spurr. (aghast)._ Your brother! Sir RUPERT CULVERIN your----! Excuse me--if I'd only known, I--I do assure you I never should have dreamt of saying----!

_Lady Cant. (graciously)._ You've said nothing whatever to distress yourself about. You couldn't possibly be expected to know who I was. Perhaps I had better tell you at once that I am Lady CANTIRE, and this is my daughter, Lady MAISIE MULL. (SPURRELL _returns_ Lady MAISIE'S _little bow in the deepest confusion._) We are going down to Wyvern too, so I hope we shall very soon become better acquainted.

_Spurr. (to himself, overwhelmed)._ The deuce we shall! I _have_ got myself into a hole this time; I wish I could see my way well out of it! Why on earth couldn't I hold my confounded tongue? I _shall_ look an ass when I tell 'em.

[_He sits staring at them in silent embarrassment._