Chapter 1

Mrs. DITCHWATER _are talking in confidential undertones on a settee_. Miss BUGLE'S _anxiety concerning her invalid Cockatoo has already obliged her to depart_. Mrs. GILWATTLE _is lecturing her Niece on a couch by the fire, while little_ GWENDOLEN _is in a corner with a Picture-book_.

_Mrs. Bodfish_ (_in a wheezy whisper_). If he had condescended to make himself agreeable all round, I shouldn't say a _word_; but to sit there talking to that little forward governess, and never an audible word from first to last--well, I quite felt for poor dear Mrs. TIDMARSH being so neglected at her own table.

_Mrs. Ditch._ Ah, my dear, if she _will_ have the aristocracy to dine with her, she must put up with such treatment. I wouldn't stoop to such presumption myself. And, if I _did_, I _would_ have a couple of _entrees_, and everything carved _off_ the table! He'll go away with such a poor opinion of us all!

_Mrs. Bod._ He must have noticed how the vegetable dishes were chipped! And I'm sure I was ashamed to see she had put out those old-fashioned doyleys with the finger-glasses. I wonder she never thought of getting some new ones. I saw some the other day in the Grove, hand-worked, at only five-pence three-farthings!

_Mrs. Ditch._ I could see _something_ was weighing on her mind, or she'd have talked more to him. What is his title? It sounded like "STRATSPODDLE." I must look it out in my Peerage. Would he be an Earl now, or what?

_Mrs. Bod._ I don't expect he's more than a Viscount, if so much. I do think she might have _presented_ us to him, though!

_Mrs. Ditch._ It isn't the fashion to introduce, nowadays. But I consider we are quite entitled to speak to him, if we get an opportunity--in fact, he would think it very odd if we didn't! (_&c., &c._)

_Mrs. Gilwattle._ Well, MARIA, I say, as I said before, don't let it _turn your head_, that's all! Depend upon it, this young nobleman isn't so affable for nothing. He wouldn't dine with you like this unless he expected to get _something_ out of it. What that something may be, you best know!

_Mrs. Tid._ (_to herself_). A guinea, at the very least! (_Aloud._) I'm sorry you think my head's so easily turned, Aunt JOANNA! If you'd noticed how I behaved to him, you wouldn't say so. Why, I scarcely _spoke_ to the man!

_Mrs. Gilw._ I was _watching_ you, MARIA. And sorry I was to see that being next to a member of the nobility overawed you to that extent you could hardly open your mouth. So unlike your Uncle GABRIEL!

_Mrs. Tid._ (_hurt at this injustice_). Overawed, indeed! I'm sure it was no satisfaction to _me_ to see him here! No, Aunt the only people I welcome at _my_ table are those in my own rank of life--relations and old friends like you and the others. And how you can think I was dazzled by a trumpery title when I sent him in with the Governess----!

_Mrs. Gil._ Ah, you make too much of that girl, MARIA. I've noticed it, and _others_ have noticed it. She takes too much upon herself! The _idea_ of letting her forbid GWENDOLEN to recite--no wonder your authority over the child is weakened! I should have _insisted_ on obedience.

_Mrs. Tid._ (_roused_). I hope I know how to make my own child obey me. GWENDOLEN, come out of that corner. Put down your book. (GWEN. _obeys_.) I wish you to repeat something to your Auntie--what you refused to say downstairs--_you_ know what I mean!

_Gwen._ Do you mean the thing Miss SEATON said I wasn't to, because you'd be angry?

_Mrs. Tid._ (_majestically_). Miss SEATON had no business to know whether I should be angry or not. She is only your Governess--_I_ am your Mother. And I shall be extremely angry if you don't repeat it at once--in fact, I shall send you off to bed. So you can choose for yourself.

_Gwen._ I don't want to go to bed ... I'll tell, if I may whisper it.

_Mrs. Tid._ Well, if you are too shy to speak out loud, you _may_ whisper. You see, Aunt, I am not _quite_ such a cipher as you fancied!

[GWEN. _puts her mouth to_ Mrs. GILWATTLE'S _ear, and proceeds to whisper_.