Chapter 3

Earned a night's rest, and a longer Easter holiday than he has allotted to himself and us. Older he gets, the younger he seems. His work to-day should make the eight-hours' man blush. At bay in Downing Street since twelve o'clock with two hostile deputations. Came from Ulster and the City, resolved to beard Home-Rule Lion in his den. Alone he met them; one down, the other come on; no interval of rest; picked men from Ulster, Selected Captains from the City, surged around table at which he sat. Hardly left him time to reply. Having politely conducted Ulster to door, enter the City Fathers, fresh and eager for fray. Told him over again in varied phrase how he was bringing country to verge of ruin; listened with perfect courtesy, as if they'd been discussing someone else--say, his next-door neighbour, SQUIRE of MALWOOD and Junior Lord of Downing Street. Up again when last in list of City speakers had concluded. Almost persuaded JOHN LUBBOCK to be a Home-Ruler; then down to House, dealing with mass of correspondence littering his table in room behind SPEAKER'S chair; alert on sound of division-bell; comes in to move Closure; remembers that in long list of speeches never made this particular one before; looks up PALGRAVE'S _Handbook_; cons his lesson and declaims brief formula in deep rich voice that lends touch of eloquence to its unadorned, remorseless demand. All this, too, following on a day like yesterday, when two other deputations stormed Downing Street; drew from him weighty reply; followed, after hasty dinner, by a speech in the House on the eternal Irish question, which GRANDOLPH rightly termed, "entrancing."

"A Grand Old Man, indeed!" said PRINCE ARTHUR, talking over these things to-night, when he should have been listening to TOMMY BOWLES, who having at the morning sitting had his speech on Vote on Account closured, delivered another at evening sitting on the question of the Depreciation of Silver as it affects domestic architecture in China and Peru.

_Business done._--Vote on Account through Committee.

_Thursday._--CAINE going about House this afternoon, his slim figure bulging out at the pockets in mysterious fashion, "Brought your supper with you?" I asked, lightly touching one of the excrescences that felt like an imperial pint of ginger-beer (WHITE 1880). "You seem bursting with broiled bones. All no use. No more all-night sittings _this_ side of Easter."

"No, my boy, you're wrong," said CAINE. "Fact is, I'm going off to the country, and these protuberances you observe about my person are phonograms. All labelled, you see," he said, taking out cylinders from several pockets. "Here are a few remarks on Registration; that's my Local-Veto Speech; and here is an entirely new view of the Home-Rule question. If you like to come over to my house at Clapham--close by, you know, busses every ten minutes--you shall have a night's thorough enjoyment. Leave you in the room by yourself with the phonograph. Pop in one of these cylinders; set the phonograph whizzing; and you'll hear me on Local Veto. Take out cylinder, put in another, and you'll know more about Home Rule in five minutes than you ever dreamt. Can only let you have them for to-night. To-morrow they go down to Yorkshire, and thro' Easter Recess I shall be delivering, at various places, six speeches every night, I myself comfortably making holiday in Wales." "Thank you," I said; "but, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go home and go to bed." In truth, a little depressed. Here's a nice prospect for the holidays! Bad enough to have Members working off at public meetings speeches that had been closured in Commons. But if every man is, during the recess, to multiply himself by phonography, the last state of this country will be worse than the first.

_Business done._--Adjourned for Easter Holidays. Just escaped sitting over Good Friday. Back next Thursday.

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[Transcriber's Note: Missing or illegible/damaged punctuation has been repaired.]