Punch, or the London Charivari, November 25, 1893
SCENE XV.--_The Drawing-room at Hornbeam Lodge._ TIME--_Monday
evening, about six._ ALTHEA _is listlessly striking chords on the piano_; Mrs. TOOVEY _is sitting by one of the windows_.
_Mrs. Toovey_ (_to herself_). Where _did_ THEOPHILUS go last Saturday? He is either the most consummate hypocrite, or the most blameless lamb that ever breathed; and I'm sure _I_ don't know which! But I'll find out when CHARLES comes. It would be almost a relief to find Pa _was_ guilty; for, if he isn't---- But, thank goodness, he is not very likely ever to hear where _I_ was that evening!
_Althea_ (_to herself_). It couldn't _really_ have been Mamma in that box; she has never made the slightest reference to it. I almost wish she _had_ been there; it would have been easier to tell her. What _would_ she say if she knew I had gone to such a place as the Eldorado?
[_She drifts, half unconsciously, into the air of_ "The Hansom Cabman."
_Mrs. Toov._ What is that tune you are playing, THEA?
_Alth._ (_flushing_). N--nothing, Mamma. Only a tune I heard when I was in town. The--the boys in the street whistle it.
_Mrs. Toov._ Then it's hardly fit to be played upon _my_ piano. I shouldn't wonder if it came out of one of those abominable music-halls!
_Alth._ (_to herself_). She must mean something by that. If she was there after all! (_Aloud, distressed._) Mamma, what makes you say that? Do--do you _know_?
_Mrs. Toov._ (_in equal confusion_). Know! Explain yourself, child. How could I possibly----? (_To herself._) I shall betray myself if I am not more careful!
_Alth._ I--I thought--I don't know--it was the way you said it. (_To herself._) I very nearly did for myself _that_ time!
_Mrs. Toov._ (_as_ ALTHEA _strikes more chords_). For goodness' sake, THEA, either play a proper piece, or shut up the piano and take up some useful work. There's the crazy-quilt I've begun for the Bazaar; you might get on with that.
_Alth._ (_closing the piano_). The colours _are_ so frightful, Mamma!
_Mrs. Toov._ What does that signify, my dear? When it's for a charity! Really, I'm beginning to think this visit to town has not had at all a good effect upon you. You've come back unable to settle down to anything. Yes, I see a great change in you, ALTHEA, and it's not confined to the worldly way you do your hair. I sincerely hope it will not strike Mr. CURPHEW as it does me. You know he is dining here this evening? I told him in my note that if he _liked_ to come a little earlier----(_Significantly._) I think he has something to say to you, THEA. Perhaps you can guess what?
_Alth._ (_twisting her hands nervously_). Oh no, Mamma. I--I can't see Mr. CURPHEW--not alone, I mean.
_Mrs. Toov._ Don't be ridiculous, my dear. You know perfectly well that he admires you. He has very properly spoken first to your father, and we both consider you a most fortunate girl. He is a truly excellent young man, which is the _first_ consideration; and, what is even _more_ important, he is, as far as I can gather, making an excellent income. And you can't deny that you were interested in him from the very first.
_Alth._ N--not in that way, Mamma. At least, not any longer.
_Mrs. Toov._ Nonsense. If Mr. CURPHEW proposes, I shall be seriously annoyed if you put him off with any foolish shilly-shallying. Mind that. And here he is--at least, it's _somebody_ at the front door. I've mislaid my glasses as usual. And if it is Mr. CURPHEW, I shall send him in here at once; so remember what I've said. (_She goes out into the hall, and discovers her nephew_ CHARLES.) So it is _you_, CHARLES! You're rather earlier than I expected.
_Charles._ Nothing much doing at the office, Aunt. And I thought I might have to dress for dinner, you know.
_Mrs. Toov._ You ought to know by this time that we are plain people and do not not follow the senseless fashion of dressing ourselves up for a family dinner, but I am glad you came early, all the same, CHARLES, as I should like a little talk with you before your Uncle comes in. We had better go into the study. (_To herself, as she leads the way._) Now I shall get it out of him!
END OF SCENE XV.