Act III.
(_Enter_ ALDERMAN MALLEN _and_ CAPT. FRANK.)
FRANK.--He is said to be a mighty smart man, but I think we can take him.
ALD. M.--Well, if we can't no one else need try.
(_Enter_ PUNCH, _singing._)
For I am one of the olden time, And may be thought too gay, Like Jersey Sam the Farmer's man, Hurrah! hurrah! hurra.
FRANK.--Leave off your singing, Mr. PUNCH, for we have come to make you sing on the other side of your mouth.
PUNCH.--Well sir, who are you?
FRANK.--Don't you know me?
PUNCH.--Never saw you before.
FRANK.--That is all gammon: I know you well enough; I had a pretty hard fight with you once.
PUNCH.--I always like a man better after I have fought with him. Who sent you here?
ALD. M.--You are wanted at the Mayor's office. Col. Wood says you once killed a Policeman in Chicago.
PUNCH.--No body cares for that. I won't go.
FRANK.--Besides, you killed the DOCTOR'S servant, black JOE.
PUNCH.--He killed me.
ALD. M.--How can that be?
PUNCH.--I was dancing by myself and the fellow came up behind me and knocked me down--if you don't believe it, I can show you how it was done.
ALD. M.--Well, for one, I should like to see about how it was done.
(PUNCH _hits him a heavy blow on the side of his head and suddenly makes his exit._)
(_The_ ALDERMAN _and the_ CONSTABLE _conceal themselves behind the curtains and remain on the watch for their enemy._)
ALD. M.--I say FRANK, he is a tricky old fellow.
FRANK.--Yes, one wants to be on his guard. He is as quick as lightning, but we must take him--cost what it may, and we have got to do it before he reaches the engine house, on the corner of 10th and Filbert street, the firemen are all friendly to him--so are the children of the city.
ALD. M.--I'll take him if I have to summon the whole of the Fourth Ward.
(PUNCH _is heard from below; the parties quickly conceal themselves behind the curtain and await his approach. Enter_ PUNCH _singing._)
Charley Buff has money enough, Charley Buff lives over the shore, And when he dies he'll close his eyes and never see money more.
(_At this part of the play the_ ALDERMAN _and the_ POLICEMAN _spring up behind him and after a hard struggle they pin him in a corner, and finally carry him off, while he lustily calls out,_ "Help! murder!" etc. _End of Scene I._)
_SCENE II.--The curtain rises at the back of the stage, and discovers_ PUNCH _in Prison._
(JACK KETCH _enters with a gallows on his shoulders. He fixes it on the platform of the stage, and exits._)
PUNCH.--There goes a hang-dog looking fellow whom they doubtless keep to feed hogs--the fellow's face resembles a side of sole leather, with a slit in it which he calls a mouth.
(_Enter the_ CONSTABLE. _He examines the Gibbet and exits._)
PUNCH.--There goes the man that stole the butcher's dog.
(_Enter two men with a coffin--they set it down on the platform and exit._)
PUNCH.--Hello, there goes two scoundrels--body snatchers. What grave have they been robbing?
(_Re-enter_ JACK KETCH.) JACK KETCH.--Now, Mr. PUNCH, you may come out.
(PUNCH _walks out._) PUNCH.--JACK, what have you got on your face?
J. K.--I wear a mask because I am the public executioner. It was my ancestor who cut off the head of Ann Bowlin, Catherine Howard, Lady Jane Gray and Mary, Queen of Scots, and now I am going to execute you--for killing the DR.'S servant.
PUNCH.--No you don't, if you do I'll be hanged.
J. K.--Why did you kill old JOE?
PUNCH.--In self defence.
J. K.--PUNCH that won't do--you are too tough to live.
PUNCH.--JACK, the old devil will never get all that is due him, until he gets you in his bony arms.
J. K.--That's all bosh: your time is nearly up. I want you to put your head into this halter and I'll give you the best swing you ever had.
PUNCH.--JACK, if my head was in that rope, I would not take it out, but, as it is out, I'll never put it in.
J. K.--Mr. PUNCH, be a good fellow--you are a considerable burden to me and I want to get the load off my hands; oblige me by being hung, here is the noose, just put your head in here.
PUNCH.--Through that place there? (_Pointing to the noose._) I don't know how.
J. K.--It is very easy: only put your head in that loop,--here,--take the noose.
PUNCH.--What so? (_Poking his head on one side of the noose then on the other side._)
J. K.--Not so, you fool.
PUNCH.--Mind, who you call fool: try if you can do it yourself: only show me how it can be done--old pestilence and I'll try.
J. K.--Very well; I will, you see my head and you see this loop. Put it in, so. (_Putting his head through the noose._)
PUNCH.--And pull it tight, so! (_He pulls the body forcibly down, and hangs JACK KETCH._) Huzza! huzza! (_PUNCH takes down the corpse and places it in the coffin. Enter two men who remove the gallows and then carry away the coffin containing the body of JACK KETCH and exit._)
PUNCH.--There they go; they think they have got me in that coffin. (_He sings_)
Let the wild world wag as it will I'll be merry merry still. Jack Ketch is dead and I am free I don't care if old Nick himself should come for me.
(_During his singing he beats time with his stick._)
I am the man to manage them all, Here's a stick to thump old Nick, If ever he pays me a call.
(_Enter the_ DEVIL. _Peeps in at the corner, and exit._)
PUNCH.--(_Much frightened, and retreating as far as he can._) Oh dear! oh Lord! What is that? That's old Nick, sure enough. (_The_ DEVIL _comes forward._ PUNCH _stands on the defensive._)
PUNCH.--Keep off, Mr. DEVIL. (_The_ DEVIL _advances_) Look out for your eyes. (_The_ DEVIL _darts at_ PUNCH, _who escapes and aims a blow at him: the_ DEVIL _eludes it, as well as many other blows which_ PUNCH _aims at him, laying his head on the platform, and slipping it rapidly backward and forward, so that_ PUNCH _instead of striking him, only repeatedly hits the boards. Exit_ DEVIL.)
PUNCH.--He, he, he! (_laughing._) He is off: He who runs away will live to fight another day.
(_A noise in the background is heard._)
(PUNCH _alarmed by hearing a strange, whirring noise, like that made by a spinning-wheel, retreats to the corner of the stage._)
(_Re-enter the_ DEVIL, _with a stick. He makes up to_ PUNCH, _who retreats round the back of the stage, and they stand eyeing one another and fensing at opposite sides. At last the_ DEVIL _makes a blow at_ PUNCH _which tells on the back of his head._)
PUNCH.--Take care of my head! What is that for? Old boy, can't we be friends. (_The_ DEVIL _hits him again._ PUNCH _now begins to be angry._) Well, if you won't be a friend, we will be enemies, now, old DEVIL. I take the chances in this contest, your head or mine, we must try which is the best man PUNCH or the DEVIL.
(_Here commences a terrific combat between the_ DEVIL _and_ PUNCH. _Compared with which the fight between the French and the Prussians, if you leave out the guns, was more than boy play. In the beginning,_ PUNCH _has much the worst of it; but, at length succeeds in planting several heavy blows in the small of the_ DEVIL'S _back. This weakens the old Father of evil, and towards the conclusion_ PUNCH _drives his enemy before him. The_ DEVIL _stunned by repeated blows, falls down, when_ PUNCH _kills him; and putting him on his shoulder carries him round, exclaiming_,) Huzza! huzza! the DEVIL'S dead.
PUNCH AND JUDY!
This amusing entertainment, comprises twenty-four little Actors (wooden puppets), sixteen of which are
TALKING MARIONETTES,
Perform all the parts of the Fairy Play of PUNCH AND JUDY:
Introducing, therein, characters from
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD, ROBIN HOOD, JACK THE GIANT KILLER, and the Funny Little Man who lived in the HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT,
CAN BE SECURED ON REASONABLE TERMS For Evening Parties, Birthday Festivals, Sunday-schools, Fairs, Societies, or Excursions.
Communications by mail or otherwise promptly answered. Office. 821 Filbert Street, Philadelphia. THOMAS A. M. WARD.
D. H. ROCKHILL. I. MILTON RAAB. SETH THOMAS. WM. M. PURNELL.
SETH THOMAS. ROCKHILL AND WILSON, Tailors and Clothiers,
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Trego's Teaberry Tooth Wash.
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This Wash has long been in use in Philadelphia where it is highly recommended as a dentifrice; incomparably,
THE PUREST AND BEST ARTICLE OF THE KIND EVER OFFERED TO AN INTELLIGENT PUBLIC.
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PUNCH AND JUDY FIGURES CONSTANTLY ON HAND.
GEORGE DOLL & CO., Importers, NOS. 10 AND 12 NORTH SIXTH ST., PHILADELPHIA. N. B.--CANES and PIPES neatly mounted and repaired.
ESTABLISHED 1857. JOHN W. KLINE, ANTIQUITIES AND CURIOSITIES OF ALL KINDS BOUGHT AND SOLD.
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Price Catalogue Sent Free on the Receipt of the Address.
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In remitting money, if over two dollars (which may be sent either in currency or un-used U. S. postage stamps) always send P. O. order or Banker's draft, payable to order.
JOHN W. KLINE, Importer of Postage Stamps, &c. 112 SOUTH EIGHTH ST., PHILADELPHIA, PA.
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COMPETENT WORKMEN FOR CITY AND COUNTRY TRADE
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MADAME D'HERVILLY, -- -- Principal,
Nos. 1527 and 1529 Spruce Street, PHILADELPHIA, PA.
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JOHN THORNLEY, 503 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia, Pa.,
Manufacturer and Dealer in All Kinds of INDIA RUBBER AND GUTTA PERCHA GOODS.
THEO. I. HARBACH, IMPORTER OF Slides for the Magic Lantern and Stereopticon! Novelties a Specialty. Enclose Stamp for Catalogue.
809 Filbert Street, Philadelphia, Pa.
--> MAGIC LANTERNS AND SLIDES WANTED.
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Transcriber Notes:
Passages in italics were indicated by _underscores_.
Passages in bold were indicated by =equal signs=.
Small caps were replaced with ALL CAPS.
Throughout the document, the oe ligature was replaced with "oe".
Throughout the dialogues, there were words used to mimic accents of the speakers. Those words were retained as-is.
Errors in punctuation and inconsistent hyphenation were not corrected unless otherwise noted.
On page 3, a quotation mark was added after "Master of the Rolls,".
On page 6, "bigest" was replaced with "biggest".
On page 8, "Punch where's that child tell me quickly" was replaced with "Punch, where's that child? Tell me quickly"
On page 11, a comma was added after "Uncle" in two instances of "Uncle, don't forget the dollar".
On page 12, a closing parentheses was added after "and exit."
On page 14, "and exit" was replaced with "and exits".
On page 14, a period was added after "Mr".
On page 15, a comma was added after "Not so".
On page 15, a closing parentheses was added after "and then sings,"
On page 16, a semicolon was added after "There they go".
On page 16, a period was added after "stands on the defensive".
On page 16, a comma was added after "Keep off".
On page 16, a comma was added after "Old boy".
On page 16, a quotation mark was removed after "Huzza! huzza! the Devil's Dead!"
On page 17, "dentrifrice" was replaced with "dentifrice".