Part 7

Edmund Plowden, an eminent lawyer in Queen Elizabeth's time, was asked by a neighbour what remedy there was in law against the owner of some hogs that had trespassed on the inquirer's ground. Plowden answered he might have very good remedy. "Marry, then," said the other, "the hogs are your own." "Nay, then, neighbour, the case is altered," quoth Plowden. Others, says Ray, with more probability make this the original of the proverb:--"Plowden being a Roman Catholic, some neighbours of his who bare him no good-will, intending to entrap him and bring him under the lash of the law, had taken care to dress up an altar in a certain place, and provided a layman in a priest's habit, who should say mass there at such a time. And, withal, notice thereof was given privately to Mr. Plowden, who thereupon went and was present at the mass. For this he was presently accused and indicted. He at first stands upon his defence, and would not acknowledge the thing. Witnesses are produced, and among the rest one who deposed that he himself performed the mass, and saw Mr. Plowden there. Saith Plowden to him, 'Art thou a priest, then?' The fellow replied, 'No.' 'Why, then, gentlemen,' quoth he, 'the case is altered: no priest, no mass,' which came to be a proverb, and continues still in Shropshire with this addition--'The case is altered,' quoth Plowden: 'no priest, no mass.'"

=That's Hackerton's cow.=

This is a proverb of the Scotch, and they tell a story about it similar to the first of the two above related of Plowden. Hackerton was a lawyer, whose cow had gored a neighbour's ox. The man told him the reverse. "Why, then," said Hackerton, "your ox must go for my heifer--the law provides that." "No," said the man, "your cow killed my ox." "The case alters there," said Hackerton. Many a one exclaims in secret with the Spaniard, "Justice, but not brought home to myself!"[414] "Nobody likes that" (Italian).[415]

=Close sits my shirt, but closer my skin.=

That is, I love my friends well, but myself better; or, my body is dearer to me than my goods.

=Near is my petticoat, but nearer is my smock.=

Some friends are nearer to me than others. There are many proverbs in various languages similar to the last two in meaning and in form, but with different terms of comparison. They are all modelled upon the Latin adage, "The tunic is nearer than the frock."[416]

FOOTNOTES:

[398] Prima sibi charitas.

[399] Trage Jeder seinem Sack zur Mülle.

[400] Ogni volpe habbia cura della sua coda.

[401] Zelf is de Man.

[402] Manda o amo ao moço, o moço ao gato, e o gato ao rabo.

[403] Quien tiene boca no diga á otro, sopla.

[404] Chi ha quattrini a buttar via, metti operaji, e non vi stia.

[405] El pie del dueño estiercol para la heredad.

[406] Chacun dit, "J'ai bon droit."

[407] Cada ollero su olla alaba, y mas el que la tiene quebrada.

[408] Matto è quel prete chi bestemma le sue reliquie.

[409] Dimanda al hosto s'egli ha buon vino.

[410] Se tu hai meno il naso, ponviti una mano.

[411] Ad ognuno par più grave la croce sua.

[412] Cuidado ageno de pelo cuelga.

[413] Mal d'autrui n'est que songe.

[414] Justicia, mas no por mi casa.

[415] A nessuno piace la giustizia a casa sua.

[416] Tunica pallio propior.

SELFISHNESS IN GIVING. SPURIOUS BENEVOLENCE.

=Throw in a sprat to catch a salmon.=

=To give an apple where there is an orchard.=

=The hen's egg aft gaes to the ha' To bring the guse's egg awa'.=--_Scotch._

"He gives an egg to get a chicken" (Dutch).[417] "Giving is fishing" (Italian).[418] "To one who has a pie in the oven you may give a bit of your cake" (French).[419]

=Have a horse of thine own, and thou may'st borrow another's.=--_Welsh._

"People don't give black-puddings to one who kills no pigs" (Spanish).[420] In Spain it is usual, when a pig is killed at home, to make black-puddings, and give some of them to one's neighbours. There is thrift in this; for black-puddings will not keep long in that climate, and each man generally makes more than enough for his own consumption. "People lend only to the rich" (French).[421] "People give to the rich, and take from the poor" (German).[422] "He that eats capon gets capon" (French).[423]

=He that has a goose will get a goose.=

=When the child is christened you may have godfathers enough.=

Offers of service abound when a man no longer needs them. "When our daughter is married sons-in-law turn up" (Spanish).[424]

=When I am dead make me caudle.=

=When Tom's pitcher is broken I shall get the sherds.=

Tom's generosity is like the charity of the Abbot of Bamba, who "Gives away for the good of his soul what he can't eat" (Spanish).[425] The dying bequest of another worthy of the same nation is proverbial. One of his cows had strayed away and been long missing. His last orders were, that if this cow were found it should be for his children; if otherwise, it should be for God. Hence the proverb, "Let that which is lost be for God."

=They are free of fruit that want an orchard.=

=They are aye gudewilly o' their horse that hae nane.=--_Scotch._

Their good-natured willingness to lend it is remarkable. "No one is so open-handed as he who has nothing to give" (French).[426] "He that cannot is always willing" (Italian).[427]

=Hens are free o' horse corn.=--_Scotch._

People are apt to be very liberal of what does not belong to them. "Broad thongs are cut from other men's leather" (Latin).[428] "Of my gossip's loaf a large slice for my godson" (Spanish).[429]

=Steal the goose, and give the giblets in alms.=

"Steal the pig, and give away the pettitoes for God's sake" (Spanish).[430]

FOOTNOTES:

[417] Hij geeft een ei, om een kucken te krijgen.

[418] Donare si chiama pescare.

[419] À celui qui a son pâté au four, on peut donner de son gateau.

[420] A quien no mata puerco, no le dan morcilla.

[421] On ne prête qu'aux riches.

[422] Reichen giebt man, Armen nimmt man.

[423] Qui chapon mange, chapon lui vient.

[424] A hija casada salen nos yernos.

[425] El abad de Bamba, lo que no puede comer, da lo por su alma.

[426] Nul n'est si large que celui qui n'a rien à donner.

[427] Chi non puole, sempre vuole.

[428] Ex alieno tergore lata secantur lora.

[429] Del pan de mi compadre buen zatico á mi ahijado.

[430] Hurtar el puerco, y dar los pies por Dios.

INGRATITUDE.

=Save a thief from the gallows, and he will be the first to cut your throat.=

The galley-slaves whom Don Quixote rescued repaid the favour by pelting him and his squire with stones, and stealing Sancho's ass. The French have two parallels for the English proverb. "Take a churl from the gibbet, and he will put you on it;"[431] and, "Unhang one that is hanged, and he will hang thee."[432] Observe the comprehensiveness of this second proposition: it seems to embody an old superstition not yet quite extinct, for it warns us against the danger of rescuing _any_ man from the rope, no matter how he may have come to have his neck in the noose. An incident curiously illustrative of this doctrine was thus narrated in a Belgian newspaper, the _Constitutionnel_ of Mons, of July 4th, 1856:--

"The day before yesterday a man hanged himself at Wasmes. Another man chanced to come upon him before life was extinct, and cut him down in a state of insensibility. Presently up came some women, who clamorously protested against the rashness, not of the would-be suicide, but of his rescuer, and assured the latter that his only chance of escaping the dangers to which his imprudent humanity exposed him was to hang the poor wretch up again. The man was so alarmed that he was actually proceeding to do as they advised him, when fortunately the burgomaster arrived just in time to prevent that act of barbarous stupidity."

This incident will at once remind the reader of the wreck scene in _The Pirate_. Mordaunt Merton is hastening to save Cleveland, when Bryce Snailsfoot thus remonstrates with him:--"Are you mad? You that have lived sae lang in Zetland to risk the saving of a drowning man? Wot ye not, if you bring him to life again, he will be sure to do you some capital injury?"

=Put a snake in your bosom, and when it is warm it will sting you.=

"Bring up a raven, and it will peck out your eyes" (Spanish, German).[433] "Do good to a knave, and pray God he requite thee not" (Danish).[434]

=I taught you to swim, and now you'd drown me.=

=A's tint that's put into a riven dish.=--_Scotch._

All is lost that is put into a broken dish, or that is bestowed upon a thankless person. The Arabs say, "Eat the present, and break the dish" (in which it was brought). The dish will otherwise remind you of the obligation.

=Eaten bread is soon forgotten.=

"A favour to come is better than a hundred received" (Italian).[435] Who was it that first defined gratitude as a lively sense of future favours? "When I confer a favour," said Louis XIV., "I make one ingrate and a hundred malcontents."

FOOTNOTES:

[431] Ôtez un vilain du gibet, il vous y mettra.

[432] Dépends le pendard, il te pendra.

[433] Cria el cuervo, y sacarte ha los ojos. Erziehst du dir einen Raben, so wird er dir die Augen ausgraben.

[434] Giör vel imod en Skalk, og bed til Gud han lönner dig ikke.

[435] Val più un piacere da farsi, che cento di quelli fatti.

THE MOTE AND THE BEAM.

=Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones.=

In Timbs's "Things not Generally Known" it is related that, "In the reign of James I., the Scotch adventurers who came over with that monarch were greatly annoyed by persons breaking the windows of their houses; and among the instigators was Buckingham, the court favourite, who lived in a large house in St. Martin's Fields, which, from the great number of windows, was termed the Glass House. Now, the Scotchmen, in retaliation, broke the windows of Buckingham's mansion. The courtier complained to the king, to whom the Scotchmen had previously applied, and the monarch replied to Buckingham, 'Those who live in glass houses, Steenie, should be careful how they throw stones.' _Whence arose the common saying._"

It did not arise thence, nor was King James its inventor. This is one of a thousand instances in which a story growing out of a proverb has been presented as that proverb's origin. "Let him that has glass tiles [panes] not throw stones at his neighbour's house" is a maxim common to the Spaniards[436] and Italians,[437] and older than the time of James I. The Italians say also, "Let him that has a glass skull not take to stone-throwing."[438]

=The kiln calls the oven burnt house.=

=The pot calls the kettle black bottom.=

When negroes quarrel they always call each other "dam niggers." "The pan says to the pot, 'Keep off, or you'll smutch me'" (Italian).[439] "The shovel makes game of the poker" (French).[440] "Said the raven to the crow, 'Get out of that, blackamoor'" (Spanish).[441] "One ass nicknames another Longears" (German).[442] "Dirty-nosed folk always want to wipe other folks' noses" (French).[443]

="Crooked carlin!" quoth the cripple to his wife.=--_Scotch._

="God help the fool!" said the idiot.=

=Who more ready to call her neighbour "scold" than the arrantest scold in the parish?=

"A harlot repented for one night. 'Is there no police officer,' she exclaimed, 'to take up harlots?'" (Arab.)

=Point not at others' spots with a foul finger.=

=Physician, heal thyself.=

"Among wonderful things," say the Arabs of Egypt, "is a sore-eyed person who is an oculist."

FOOTNOTES:

[436] El que tiene tejados de vidrio no tire piedras al de su vicino.

[437] Chi ha tegoli di vetro non tiri sassi al vicino.

[438] Chi ha testa di vetro non faccia a' sassi.

[439] La padella dice al pajuolo, Fatti in la che tu mi tigni.

[440] La pêle se moque du fourgon.

[441] Dijó la corneja al cuervo, Quitate allá, negro.

[442] Ein Esel schimpft den andern, Langohr.

[443] Les morveux veulent toujours moucher les autres.

FAULTS. EXCUSES. UNEASY CONSCIOUSNESS.

=Lifeless, faultless.=

=It is a good horse that never stumbles.=

To which some add, "And a good wife that never grumbles." None are immaculate. "Are there not spots on the very sun?" (French.)[444] A member of the parliament of Toulouse, apologising to the king or his minister for the judicial murder of Calas perpetrated by that body, quoted the proverb, "_Il n'y a si bon cheval qui ne bronche_" ("It is a good horse," &c.). He was answered, "_Passe pour un cheval, mais toute l'écurie!_" ("A horse, granted; but the whole stable!")

=He that shoots always right forfeits his arrow.=--_Welsh._

But in no instance was the forfeit ever exacted, for the best archer will sometimes miss the mark, just as "The best driver will sometimes upset" (French).[445] "A good fisherman may let an eel slip from him" (French);[446] and "A good swimmer is not safe from all chance of drowning" (French).[447] "The priest errs at the altar" (Italian).[448]

=They ne'er beuk [baked] a gude cake but may bake an ill.=--_Scotch._

=He rode sicker [sure] that ne'er fell.=--_Scotch._

=It is a sound head that has not a soft piece in it.=

=Every rose has its prickles.=

=Every bean has its black.=

=Every path has its puddle.=

=There never was a good town but had a mire at one end of it.=

"He who wants a mule without fault may go afoot" (Spanish).[449]

=A' things wytes [blames] that no weel fares.=--_Scotch._

When a man fails in what he undertakes he will be sure to lay the blame on anything or anybody rather than on himself. "He that does amiss never lacks excuses" (Italian).[450] "He is a bad shot who cannot find an excuse" (German).[451] "The archer that shoots ill has a lie ready" (Spanish).[452] That is rather a strong expression: the Italians, with a more refined appreciation of the eloquence displayed by missing marksmen, declare that "A fine shot never killed a bird."[453]

=A bad workman always complains of his tools.=

=A bad excuse is better than none.=

This, of course, is ironical. The Italians hold that "Any excuse is good provided it avails" (Italian);[454] and, "Any excuse will serve when one has not a mind to do a thing."[455] We may easily guess what the Spaniards mean by "Friday pretexts for not fasting."[456]

="Who can help sickness?" quoth the drunken wife, when she lay in the gutter.=

=Guilt is jealous.=

=A guilty conscience needs no accuser.=

=Touch a galled horse, and he'll wince.=

=A galled horse will not endure the comb.=

"Let the galled jade wince, our withers are unwrung," cries Hamlet, mockingly, as he reads the effect of the play in the fratricide's countenance. "He that is in fault is [steeped] in suspicion" (Italian),[457] and his uneasy conscience betrays itself at every casual touch. He is like "One who has a straw tail," and "is always afraid of its catching fire" (Italian).[458]

=He that has a muckle [big] nose thinks ilka ane is speaking o't.=--_Scotch._

"Hair is not to be mentioned in a bald man's house" (Livonian). "Never speak of a rope in the house of one who was hanged" (Italian);[459] or, as the Hebrew form of the precept runs, "He that hath had one of his family hanged may not say to his neighbour, 'Hang up this fish.'" Formerly the French used to say, "It is not right to speak of a rope _in presence_ of one who has been hanged;"[460] and they could say this without apparent absurdity, because it was customary to pardon a culprit if the rope broke after he had been tied up to the gallows, and therefore it was not an uncommon thing to meet with living men who had known what it was to dance upon nothing. The memory of this usage is preserved in a proverbial expression--"The hope of the man that is hanging, that the rope may break"[461]--to signify an exceedingly faint hope. But so much was this indulgence abused, that it was abolished by all the parliaments, that of Bordeaux setting the example in 1524 by an edict directing that the sentence should always be, "Hanged until death ensue."

=If the cap fits you, wear it.=

"Let him that feels itchy, scratch" (French).[462] "Let him wipe his nose that feels the need of it" (French).[463]

=Nothing was ever ill said that was not ill taken.=

"He who takes [offence] makes [the offence]" (Latin).[464] "What do you say 'Hem!' for when I pass?" cries an angry Briton to a Frenchman. "Monsieur Godden," replies the latter, "what for pass you when me say 'Hem?'"

=Ye're busy to clear yourself when naebody files you.=--_Scotch._

That is, you defend yourself when nobody accuses you; and that looks very suspicious. "He that excuses himself accuses himself" (French).[465]

FOOTNOTES:

[444] Le soleil lui-même, n'a-t-il pas des taches?

[445] Il n'est si bon charretier qui ne verse.

[446] À bon pêcheur échappe anguille.

[447] Bon nageur de n'être noyé n'est pas sûre.

[448] Erra il prete all' altare.

[449] Quien quisiere mula sin tacha, andese á pie.

[450] A chi fa male mai mancano scuse.

[451] Ein schlechter Schüz der keine Ausrede findet.

[452] Vallestero que mal tira, presto tiene la mentira.

[453] Bel colpo non ammazzò mai uccello.

[454] Ogni scusa è buona, pur che vaglia.

[455] Ogni scusa è buona, quando non si vuol far alcuna cosa.

[456] Achaques al viernes por no le ayunar.

[457] Chi è in difetto, è in sospetto.

[458] Chi ha coda di paglia ha sempre paura che gli pigli fuoco.

[459] Non recordar il capestro in casa dell' impiccato.

[460] Il ne faut pas parler de corde devant un pendu.

[461] L'espoir du pendu, que la corde casse.

[462] Qui se sent galeux, se gratte.

[463] Qui se sent morveux, se mouche.

[464] Qui capit, ille facit.

[465] Qui s'excuse, s'accuse.

FALSE APPEARANCES AND PRETENCES, HYPOCRISY, DOUBLE DEALING, TIME-SERVING.

=Appearances are deceitful.=[466]

"Always judge your fellow-passengers to be the opposite of what they strive to appear to be. For instance, a military man is not quarrelsome, for no man doubts his courage; but a snob is. A clergyman is not over-straitlaced, for his piety is not questioned; but a cheat is. A lawyer is not apt to be argumentative; but an actor is. A woman that is all smiles and graces is a vixen at heart: snakes fascinate. A stranger that is obsequious and over-civil without apparent cause is treacherous: cats that purr are apt to bite and scratch. Pride is one thing, assumption is another; the latter must always get the cold shoulder, for whoever shows it is no gentleman: men never affect to be what they are, but what they are not. The only man who really is what he appears to be is--a gentleman."[467]

The Livonians say, "The bald pate talks most of hair;" and, "You may freely give a rope to one who talks about hanging."

=All is not gold that glitters.=

Yellow iron pyrites is as bright as gold, and has often been mistaken for it. The worthless spangles have even been imported at great cost from California. "Every glowworm is not a fire" (Italian).[468] "Where you think there are flitches of bacon there are not even hooks to hang them on" (Spanish).[469] Many a reputed rich man is insolvent.

=Much ado about nothing.=

="Great cry and little wool," as the fellow said when he sheared the pig.=

="Meikle cry and little woo'," as the deil said when he clipped the sow.=--_Scotch._

"The mountain is in labour, and will bring forth a mouse" (Latin).[470]

=Likely lies in the mire, and unlikely gets over.=--_Scotch._

Some from whom great things are expected fail miserably, while others of no apparent mark or promise surprise the world by their success.

=You must not hang a man by his looks.=

He may be one who is

=Like a singed cat, better than likely.=

"Under a shabby cloak there is a good tippler" (Spanish).[471]

="Care not" would have it.=

Affected indifference is often a trick to obtain an object of secret desire. "I don't want it, I don't want it," says the Spanish friar; "but drop it into my hood."[472] "'It is nought, it is nought,' saith the buyer; but when he is gone he vaunteth." The girls of Italy, who know how often this artifice is employed in affairs of love, have a ready retort against sarcastic young gentlemen in the adage, "He that finds fault would fain buy."[473]

=He that lacks [disparages] my mare would buy my mare.=--_Scotch._

="Sour grapes," said the fox when he could not reach them.=

=Empty vessels give the greatest sound.=

=Shaal [shallow] waters mak the maist din.=--_Scotch._

=Smooth waters run deep=; _or_,

=Still waters are deep.=

This last proverb, we are told by Quintus Curtius, was current among the Bactrians.[474] The Servians say, "A smooth river washes away its banks;" the French, "There is no worse water than that which sleeps."[475] "The most covered fire is the strongest" (French);[476] and "Under white ashes there is glowing coal" (Italian).[477]

=Where God has his church the devil will have his chapel.=

So closely does the shadow of godliness--hypocrisy--wait upon the substance. "Very seldom does any good thing arise but there comes an ugly phantom of a caricature of it, which sidles up against the reality, mouths its favourite words as a third-rate actor does a great part, under-mimics its wisdom, overacts its folly, is by half the world taken for it, goes some way to suppress it in its own time, and perhaps lives for it in history."[478] Defoe says,--

"Wherever God erects a house of prayer, The devil always builds a chapel there; And 'twill be found upon examination The latter has the largest congregation."

The proverb is found in nearly the same form in Italian.[479] The French say, "The devil chants high mass,"[480] which reminds us of another English adage, applied by Antonio to Shylock:--

=The devil can quote Scripture for his purpose.=

"The devil lurks behind the cross,"[481] say the Spaniards; and, "By the vicar's skirts the devil gets up into the belfry."[482] "O the slyness of sin," exclaim the Germans, "that puts an angel before every devil!"[483] The same thought is expressed by the Queen of Navarre in her thirteenth novel, where she speaks of "covering one's devil with the fairest angel."[484]

=When the fox preaches beware of the geese.=

"The fox preaches to the hens" (French).[485] "When the devil says his paternosters he wants to cheat you" (French).[486] "Never spread your wheat in the sun before the canter's door" (Spanish).[487]

=A honey tongue, a heart of gall.=

=Mouth of ivy, heart of holly.=--_Irish._

=He can say, "My jo," an' think it na.=--_Scotch._

=Too much courtesy, too much craft.=

"The words of a saint, and the claws of a cat" (Spanish).[488] "The cat is friendly, but scratches" (Spanish).[489] "Many kiss the hands they would fain see chopped off" (Arab and Spanish).[490]

=He looks as if butter would not melt in his mouth.=

Said of a very demure person, sometimes with this addition, "And yet cheese would not choke him." Of such a person the Spaniards say, "He looks as if he would not muddy the water."[491] "Nothing is more like an honest man than a rogue" (French).[492]

=They're no a' saints that get holy water.=--_Scotch._

"All are not saints who go to church" (Italian).[493] "Not all who go to church say their prayers" (Italian).[494] "All are not hunters who blow the horn" (French).[495] "All are not soldiers who go to the wars" (Spanish).[496] "All are not princes who ride with the emperor" (Dutch).[497]

=The chamber of sickness is the chapel of devotion.=

=The devil was sick, the devil a monk would be;= =The devil grew well, the devil a monk was he!=[498]

"All criminals turn preachers when they are under the gallows" (Italian).[499] "The galley is in a bad way when the corsair promises masses and candles" (Spanish).[500]

=Satan rebukes sin.=[501]

=The friar preached against stealing when he had a pudding in his sleeve.=

According to the Italian account of the affair the friar had a goose in his scapulary on that occasion.[502] "Do as the friar says, and not as he does" (Spanish).[503]

=To carry two faces under one hood.=