Chapter 4

+Terence+'s Stile was generally more refin'd and pure, and withal more elaborate than this Poet's; yet undoubtedly, +Plautus+ was a most absolute Master of his Tongue, and in many Places there appear such a Sharpness and Liveliness of Expression, nay and such a Neatness and Politeness too, that is scarce to be found in +Terence+; and this, perhaps, may have occasion'd +Varro+ to say, +That if the Muses were to speak Latin, they wou'd certainly make use of his very Stile+; and +Tanaquill Faber+ to call +Plautus+, +The very Fountain of pure Latin+. As to +Wit+ and +Raillery+, +Terence+ might by no means be compared to him; then he is not always so happy, but often degenerates to a Meanness that +Terence+ wou'd never have been guilty of; and tho' his +Jests+ and +Repartees+ were sometimes admirable, and often far above +Terence+'s, yet they were many times as much below him, and by their Trifling and Quibbling, appear to have been calculated for the Mob. This, probably, made +Rapin+ observe, +That he says the best Things in the World, and yet very often he says the most wretched.+ A little before he says, +_Plautus_ is ingenious in his Designs, happy in his Imaginations, fruitful in his Invention; yet, that there are some insipid Jests that escape from him in the Taste of _Horace_; and his good Sayings that make the People laugh, make sometimes the honester sort to pity him.+ The most remarkable Thing in his Stile, is the natural and unaffected +Easiness+ of it, I mean in opposition to +Stiffness+, which with the true +Elegance+ and +Propriety+ of the +Latin+ Tongue in +Common Discourse+, seems almost its distinguishing Character, and sets him above any other +Roman+ Author in that respect. 'Tis true, +Terence+ has all these Excellencies, and perhaps is more exact in +Propriety of Terms+, and in his Choice of +Words+, yet his extream Closeness and great Elaborateness, I presume, has made it somewhat less +Free+ and +Familiar+, or at least it wou'd be so if any other Man of less Judgment had managed it. So that what I mean is, that +Plautus+'s Stile ought rather to be imitated for +Common Discourse+ than +Terence+'s. +Plautus+ had the Misfortune of living in a worser Age than +Terence+, therefore there must be a larger Allowance for his +Obsolete Words+, his +Puns+, and +Quibbles+, as well as those Words that were peculiar to the Theatre and his Subjects, which, if once transplanted, wou'd never thrive elsewhere.

Next, may be consider'd our Authors +Characters+; and in that point indeed, +Terence+ triumphs without a Rival, as was observ'd in the +Preface+ to that Author; and for a just and close Observance of +Nature+, perhaps no Man living ever excell'd him. It ought to be observ'd, that +Plautus+ was somewhat poor, and made it his principal Aim to please and tickle the Common People; and since they were almost always delighted with something new, strange, and unusual, the better to humour them, he was not only frequently extravagant in his +Expressions+, but likewise in his +Characters+ too, and drew Men often more Vicious, more Covetous, more Foolish, &c. than generally they were; and this to set the People a gazing and wondering. With these sort of +Characters+ many of our modern +Comedies+ abound, which makes 'em too much degenerate into +Farce+, which seldom fail of pleasing the Mob. But our Author had not many of these; for a great part of 'em were very true and natural, and such as may stand the Test of the severest Judges. His two most remarkable +Characters+, are his +Miser+, and his +Bragadocio+; and that the Reader may the more clearly understand the nature of these +Characters+, their Resemblance to some of ours, and their Unlikeness to those of +Terence+, I shall give a Translation of some part of 'em. First then, take the First Act of his Third Comedy call'd +Aulularia+, which begins with the Old Covetous Fellow and his Maid.

_+Euclio+ and +Staphila+._

_Euc._ Out-a-doors, I say: Come out. I'll fetch ye out with a Horse-pox, for a damnable, prying, nine-ey'd Witch.

_Sta._ Why do you misuse a poor Rogue at this rate?

_Euc._ To make ye a poor Rogue as long as you live, like a Jade as you are.

_Sta._ But why, Sir, am I thrust out-a-doors now?

_Euc._ Must I give you an account, you hempen Bitch?---- Get you from the Door:-- that way:-- See how the Jade moves.---- Observe what you'll meet with. If I take a good Cudgel or a Whip, 'sbud, I shall soon put you out o' your Snails pace.

_Sta. softly:_] Wou'd I were hang'd out o' the way, rather than be bound to serve such an old Rogue.

_Euc._ How the Jipsey mutters to her self!---- Faith, I shall spoil those damn'd eyes, then look what I'm doing if you can.-- Huzzy, go further off:-- Further still:-- Further still:---- Still, I say.---- So! stand there.---- Now, you Baggage, stir one step, move a hairs breadth, or look back i' the least till I speak, and by Cocks-nowns, I'll hang y' up in an instant.-- [_To himself, going off._] I ne're met with a more subtle old Hag than this i' my days: I'm cursedly afraid this Witch shou'd trap me in my discourse, and discover the place where I've hid my Gold: Troth, I believe the consuming Jade has Eyes in her Breech.---- Now for my Gold, that has cost me such a woful deal of trouble, I'll go see whether that be safe as I hid it.

_Exit +Euclio+._

_+Staphila+ alone._

As I live, I can't devise or imagine what Evil Genius or Madness has possess'd my Master; he uses me so inhumanely; and kicks me out a doors ten times a day. Troth, it puzzles me strangely to find out the meaning of his crazy Whims: He watches whole Nights together; and sits all day long within doors, like a lame Cobler upon his Stall.---- Well, considering these Plagues, and the difficulty of concealing my young Mistresses Labour, now at hand, I find no way but making a short cut, and hanging my self.

_Re-enter +Euclio+._

_Euc._ Now I've found all well within doors, my mind's a little at ease.---- Now come in, and keep House.

_Sta._ What, for fear it shou'd be stolen away? There's no Plunder for Thieves; there's nothing but Emptiness and Cobwebs.

_Euc._ I'll warrant ye, I must keep a House like an Emperor for your sake, you old Sorceress? Huzzy, I'll have every Cobweb taken care of, and preserv'd.

I'm very poor, I confess; but I patiently bear what the Gods lay upon me.---- Get ye in, and make fast the door; I'll be back presently. Take a special care you don't let e're a Soul come within the doors; and that they mightn't pretend an Excuse to borrow Fire, I'll ha' ye put it all out: If there be any now, out with't in an instant. If they want Water, tell 'em the Pump is dry; if they wou'd borrow a Knife, an Axe, a Mortar, or a Pestil, as Neighbours us'd to do, tell 'em the House was robb'd, and they're all stolen. 'Sbud, I'll ha' no body set a step within my House when I'm gone; therefore if _Good-luck_ her self shou'd come, I charge ye keep her out.

_Sta._ Troth, you needn't fear her coming; for were she at the Threshold, she'd ne're come in.

_Euc._ Hold your prating Tongue, and get ye in.

_Sta._ To please you, I'll do both.

_Euc._ And besure you secure the Door with two great Bolts: I'll be here instantly.

_Exit +Staphila+._

_+Euclio+ alone._

O, I'm wretchedly perplex'd that I'm forc'd to go out a doors now; and troth, it goes sore against my mind; however, 'tis upon sure grounds. For now's the time for our Officer to distribute the Money to the Poor: Now if I shou'd be negligent, and not be among the Beggars, I'm afraid the World wou'd presently conclude, that I had got Gold at home. For 'tis n't likely such a poor Fellow as I pretend to be, shou'd so little value Money, as not to be there. Notwithstanding my restless care of concealing this Gold, it strangely runs in my Head, that all the World knows of it, and every body seems to be more obliging, and to complement me more than ever. They meet me, stay me, embrace me, enquire after my Health, my Welfare, and every thing.---- Well, I'll go, and be back again as soon as possibly.

_Exit._

Here we see a considerable deal of the strange Nature of this old miserable Fellow; and this +Character+ he has carry'd through the whole Play: But to see his Humour a little more perfectly, take part of the fourth Scene of the second Act; where the Servant +Strobulus+ and the two Cooks are discoursing about this Miser.

_+Strobulus+ and +Congrio+._

_Stro._ A Pumice-stone is not half so dry as that old Huncks.

_Con._ Say ye so, introth?

_Stro._ Take this from me. If the least Smoke shou'd chance to fly out of his House, he strait allarms the Town, exclaims against Heaven and Earth, that he's undone, and ruin'd for ever!---- I'll tell ye: whene're he goes to Bed he tyes a Bladder at his Nose.

_Con._ What for?

_Stro._ For fear of losing part of his Soul when he's asleep.

_Con._ And doesn't he plug up his lower Bung-hole too, lest any shou'd steal out that way?

_Stro._ 'Tis civil to believe me, since I do you.

_Con._ Why, truly, I do believe ye.

_Stro._ Did you never hear, how it goes to the Soul of him to pour out the Water he has once wash'd his hands in?

_Con._ Do'st think, Boy, we shall be able to squeeze out a swinging sum of Money of this old Gripes, to purchase our Freedom with?

_Stro._ Troth, shou'd ye beg Hunger it self of him, the Wretch wou'd deny ye. Nay more; whenever he gets his Nails to be cut, he carefully scrapes up all the Parings, and saves 'em.

_Con._ Why, faith, this is the most miserable Cur upon the face of the Earth.---- But is he really such a pinching Wretch as you say?

_Stro._ Why t'other day a Kite chanc'd to steal a bit of something from him; this poor Devil goes strait to my _Lord Chief Justice_'s, crying, roaring, and houling for his Warrant to apprehend it.---- O, I cou'd tell ye a thousand of these Stories, if I had leisure.

This is stretching of a +Character+ a degree above Nature and Probability; yet these sort, at first sight, will glare and dazle a common Audience, and sometimes give a superficial Pleasure to a more judicious one; but are carefully to be avoided by any correct Writer.

His +Miles Gloriosus+, or +Braggadocio+, is as remarkable a +Character+ as this, and there you may see another too in the same place, one who wheadles as much as the other boasts, and plays the Knave as much as the other does the Fool. For the Reader's Satisfaction, here follows a Translation of the first Act of the +Miles Gloriosus+, which begins between that Blockhead and his Buffoon.

_+Pyrgopolinices+, with his Servant +Artotrogus+, and his Soldiers._

_Pyr. to his Soldiers._] Take care to have my Buckler out-shine the resplendent Sun, when the Heavens are serene; so that in the midst o' the Battel, I may dazle the Eyes of my Enemies, and confound every man of 'em.---- In the mean time, I'll comfort my bold _Bilbo_, that he might n't be dull and melancholly for want of use this long time; for the poor Rogue is damnably eager to slice all my Foes, and make a Hash of 'em.---- But where's _Artotrogus_?

_Art._ Here, an't like your Honour, ready to wait upon a Man o' the greatest Fortitude and Fortune i' th' Universe, and o' the most majestick Air; then for personal Valour, Lord, _Mars_ himself dare n't pretend to measure Swords with you.

_Pyr._ You mean him in the spatious _Gurgustidonian_ Plains, the mighty Generalissimo, _Bombomachides-- Cluninstaridy-- Sarchides_, great _Neptune_'s Grand-child?----

_Art._ ----The same, Sir. Him with the golden Armour, whose whole Army you blew away with a single Puff, like Leaves before the Wind, and Feathers in a Storm.

_Pyr._ By _Hercules_, 'twas nothing.

_Art._ No, faith, Sir, nothing at all to what I can relate,---- [_Aside_] but the Devil a bit of Truth's in't. If any Man can shew me a greater Lyer, or a more bragging Coxcomb than this Blunderbuss, he shall take me, make me his Slave, and starve me with Whey and Butter-milk-- Well, Sir?

_Pyr._ Where are you?

_Art._ Here, Sir:---- Wonderful! how you broke the great _Indian_ Elephants Arm with your single Fist?

_Pyr._ What Arm?

_Art._ I wou'd ha' said Thigh.

_Pyr._ Pshaw, I did that with ease.

_Art._ By _Jove_, Sir, had you us'd your full Strength, you'd ha' flead, gutted, and bon'd the huge Beast at once.

_Pyr._ I wou'd not ha' ye relate all my Acts at this time.

_Art._ Really, Sir, 'tis impossible to innumerate all your noble Acts that I have been Spectator of.---- [_Aside._] 'Tis this Belly of mine creates me all this Plagues. My Ears must bear this Burden, for fear my Teeth shou'd want Work; and to every Lye he tells, I must swear to.

_Pyr._ What was I going to say?------

_Art._ O, Sir, I know your meaning.---- 'Twas a noble Exploit; I remember't very well.

_Pyr._ What was't?

_Art._ Whatever you perform'd, was so.

_Pyr._ Ha' ye a Table-Book here?

_Art._ D'ye want one, Sir?---- Here's a Pencil too.

_Pyr._ Thou'st ingeniously accommodated thy Sentiments to mine.

_Art._ O, 'tis my Duty to adapt my Manners to your Nod, and always keep 'em within the compass of your Commands.

_Pyr._ Well, how many can you remember?

_Art._ I remember a hundred and fifty _Cilicians_, a hundred _Sycolatronideans_, thirty _Sardeans_, and threescore _Macedonians_, you slew in one day.

_Pyr._ And how many are there in all?

_Art._ Seven thousand.

_Pyr._ That's right. You're an excellent Arithmetician.

_Art._ I have 'em _in capite_, tho' not in black and white.

_Pyr._ Truly, a prodigious Memory!

_Art._ That's owing to your Table.

_Pyr._ As long as you proclaim my Honour, you shall never want eating: my Table shall be always free to receive ye.

_Art._ Then in _Cappadocia_, Sir, where you wou'd ha' certainly cut off five hundred Men, had not your Sword been a little blunt; and those but the Relicts of the Infantry you had just defeated,---- [_Aside_] if there were any such in being.---- But why shou'd I mention these things, when the whole World knows how much the mighty _Pyrgopolinices_ excels the rest of Mortals in Valour, Beauty, and Renown'd Exploits. All the Ladies in Town are ready to run mad for ye; troth, and all the reason i'the World for't, since you've so charming a Countenance. As yesterday, some of 'em catch'd me by the Cloak, and----

_Pyr._ Prithee, what did they say o' me? [_Smiling._

_Art._ They fell to questioning: _Prithee_, says one, _is n't this the stout +Achillis?+ His Brother indeed_, quoth I. _Let me dye_, says another, _if he be n't a wonderful handsome Man, how nobly he looks, and how gracefully he wears his Hair! What a prodigious Happiness 'tis to be his Bed-fellow!_

_Pyr._ Said she so, i' faith? [_Laughing._

_Art._ And more than that, begg'd of me, for God's sake, to get ye to pass that way, that they might see how triumphantly you march'd along.

_Pyr._ This same extraordinary Beauty brings a Man to extraordinary Inconveniencies.

_Art._ Well, strangely importunate they were, they nothing but begg'd, pray'd, and conjur'd me to bless 'em with a sight of ye; nay, they sent for me so often, that I was sometimes forc'd to neglect your Business.

_Pyr._ I think 'tis high time to be marching to the Piazza, and pay off the Soldiers I listed yesterday; for the King was very earnest with me to do him the favour of raising him some new Levies. This day have I appointed to pay him a Visit.

_Art._ Let's be marching then.

_Pyr._ Guards, follow your Leader.

_Exeunt omnes._

I need not make many Reflections upon this Scene; but for the clearer perceiving of it, let us bring it to the Touch-stone of Nature, that is, compare it with Terence, and shew how modestly he has manag'd the same +Subject+ and +Characters+, to wit, his +Thraso+ and +Gnatho+, in the beginning of the third Act of his +Eunuch+.

_+Thraso+ and +Gnatho+._

_Thra._ Was the Lady so extremely thankful?

_Gna._ O, vastly, Sir.

_Thra._ And wonderfully pleas'd, say ye?

_Gna._ Really, Sir, not so much for the present as the honorable Person who bestow'd it; and for that, Sir, she triumphs above measure.

_Thra._ Truly, 'tis my peculiar Fortune, to have every thing I do most gratefully receiv'd.

_Gna._ Faith, Sir, I've observ'd as much.

_Thra._ Why the King of _Persia_, whenever I did him a Kindness, was extremely sensible of it: He was n't so to others.

_Gna._ A smart Tongue so well hung as yours, Sir, can obtain that Glory with Ease which cost others so much Toil and Labour.

_Thra._ Right.

_Gna._ The Monarch has you in his Eye then?

_Thra._ Right again.

_Gna._ And wears you next his heart?

_Thra._ Very true: And trusts all his Army and Secrets to my Discretion.

_Gna._ Prodigious!

_Thra._ Then if he happen'd to be tir'd with Company, or fateagu'd with Business, and was desirous of Ease,---- as tho',---- you know what I mean.

_Gna._ Yes, Sir:------ As tho, when he had a mind to clear his Stomach, as a Man may say, of all Concerns,------

_Thra._ Right: Then was I his only Companion hand to fist.

_Gna._ Ay marry Sir! This is a Monarch indeed.

_Thra._ Oh! he's a Man of a thousand.

_Gna._ Yes, one of a million, if he chose you for his Companion.

_Thra._ All the Officers envy'd me, and grumbl'd at me behind my back; but I valued it not: They envy'd me intolerably: But above all, one who had the Charge o' the vast _Indian_ Elephants. One day, this Fellow being more turbulent than the rest, I snap'd him up; _Prithee Strato_, said I, _why art thou so fierce? Is't because you're Lord o' the wild beasts?_

_Gna._ Neatly said, as I hope to live; and shrewdly. Bless me! you overthrow Man and Beast.---- What said he, Sir?

_Thra._ Not a word.

_Gna._ Nay, I can't tell how he shou'd.

_Thra._ But, _Gnatho_, did I never tell you how sharp I was upon a young _Rhodian_ Spark at a Feast?

_Gna._ Never, Sir; let's hear't, by all means.-- He has told it me a thousand times. [_Aside._

_Thra._ Why this _Rhodian_ Spark I told ye of, was with me at a Feast, where I happen'd to have a small Girl: This Stripling began to be sweet upon her, and waggish upon me too. _How now, you impudent Saucebox_, said I; _you're Man's meat your self, and yet have a mind to a Tid-bit._

_Gna._ Ha, ha, he.

_Thra._ What's the matter, hah?

_Gna._ Very fine, sharp, and delicate; that cou'd not be mended. But pray, Sir, was this your own? I took it for an old Jest.

_Thra._ Did you ever hear't before?

_Gna._ Often, Sir; and it takes to a miracle.

_Thra._ They're oblig'd to me for't.

_Gna._ I'm sorry tho', you were so sharp upon the foolish young Gentleman. But pray, Sir, what did he say then?

_Thra._ He was quite dash'd out of Countenance; and the whole Company ready to dye with laughing. After that, every body stood in great awe of me.

_Gna._ And truly they had reason.

Here may be seen +Bragging+ and +Wheadling+ sufficiently, but still Nature closely observ'd, and all its due proportions; whereas the other has too much out-gone Probability, and strain'd his +Characters+ to an extravagant pitch. I shall not criticise upon the Particulars, but leave the Reader to judge their Differences; but only I may observe, that when +Characters+ are carry'd too high, as many of ours are, they may probably make an Audience laugh very heartily, but can give 'em but small Pleasure; whereas others will give 'em great Delight, tho' less Laughter.

I am afraid I have dwelt too long upon this Subject, therefore I pass on to our Author's +Plots+. In that respect, he had not often that +Art+ and +Management+ that +Terence+ had, nor in all his Plays was so +regular+ as he; tho' in several he was, particularly in those I have chosen. But then his Scenes were commonly less languishing, his +Incidents+ more surprizing, and his +Surprizes+ more admirable; undoubtedly he had more of the +Vis comica+, which I may translate +Liveliness of Intreague+, than +Terence+. His +Subjects+ were all more +Simple+ than the other's, but I am apt to believe, that will be reckon'd but a very small Commendation in our Nation, who are but little Lovers of such thin Dyet, as they call it. His +Narrations+ are more lively and sharp than those of +Terence+'s, and, I think, every whit as natural and as well brought in: I'm sure in some of 'em he can never be out-done as to his way of bringing of 'em in. As for the General Rules of the Stage, I refer the Reader to the Preface to +Terence+.

Our Author's principal Fault was, his mixing the +Representation+ with the +Theatral Action+ in many places, where he often makes his Actors speak immediately and directly to the Spectators; a Fault that +Terence+ was not wholly free from. This our modern Plays, I think, are never guilty of; only in our +Monologues+ and +Asides+, our Actors have got a custom of looking so full upon the Spectators, that it seems but one degree better. But our Author is not guilty of this in these three Plays, except in +Amphitryon+, and that by way of +Prologue+, or of any other Faults but what, I believe, I have shewn in my +Remarks+. And these that I have here chosen, are no ways inferior to +Terence+'s in matters of +Plot+ and +Intreague+, but in some respects superior, tho' not so elaborately wrought up, or always with that Niceness; so that these may undoubtedly prove excellent Models for our Poets Imitation, provided they observe Differences of Tastes, Humours, Ages, and Persons, and keep to those principal Beauties they already possess, some of which are undoubtedly above the Ancients. Only +Terence+ will teach 'em one thing that +Plautus+ does not, to wit, the great Cunning of working in +Under-Plots+, and still preserving the +Unity of Action+; for +Plautus+ has none of them. As for the Necessity of Rules, the Objections against 'em, and the wonderful Perfection our Plays might arrive to by a more close Observance of 'em, I must once more refer my Reader to the Preface to +Terence+. It was principally upon the Poets Account, and for all such as are desirous of understanding and judging the Excellencies of Dramatick Poetry, that I translated these Plays. If it be objected, that the Poets, Criticks, and Lovers, as well as Judges of Dramatick Poetry, do most of 'em understand the Original; I must deny the Truth of it, tho' several of 'em do: But if they did, these will be much more proper for their Design, especially by means of the +Notes+ and +Remarks+; and the Reasons I urg'd for the translation of +Terence+, bear a greater force in this Author, for here is a greater Obscurity, by reason of corrupted Copies, wrong Points, false Divisions of whole Acts as well as Scenes, besides a greater number of knotty and obscure Passages, than in +Terence+.

Tho' this was my principal, it was not my only Design of translating this Author, for I had all the way an Eye to School boys, and Learners of the +Latin+ Tongue: Therefore, upon that account, I have not only kept perfectly close to his Sence, but almost always to his Words too; a thing not only extream difficult in an Author so frequently verbose, but oftentimes dangerous too: And for an Instance, I need not go any further than the very first Sentence of the +Prologue+ to +Amphitryon+, which if I had made shorter, I cou'd have made better. I can't forbear mentioning a Passage in the third Act of the same Play, which just now comes to my remembrance:

Nam certo si sis sanus, aut sapias satis, Quam tu impudicam esse arbitrare, & prædicas, Cum ea tu sermonem nec joco, nec serio Tibi habeas, nisi sis stultior stultissimo.