Chapter 9

"Not common! On the contrary it is one of the most common. The trouble is, few people know they have it. It has so few marked symptoms until its final stages that a person may have it for years, each year getting more and more in its power and not suspect it. It is quite natural I should feel enthusiastic over this remedy while my wife is even more so than I am. She knows of its being used with surprising results by many ladies for their own peculiar ailments, over which it has singular power."

The statement drawn out by the above interview is amply confirmed by very many of our most prominent citizens, among them being Judge Reigel, and Col. James S. Goodrich, of the Times, while Gen. Dwight H. Bruce and Rev. Prof. W. P. Coddington, D. D., give the remedy their heartiest indorsement. In this age of wonders, surprising things are quite common, but an experience so unusual as that of Dr. Martin's and occurring here in our midst, may well cause comment and teach a lesson. It shows the necessity of guarding the slightest approach of physical disorder and by the means which has been proven the most reliable and efficient. It shows the depth to which one can sink and yet be rescued and it proves that few people need suffer if these truths are observed.

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AGENTS make over ONE hundred per cent. profit selling the

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which can be sold in every family. Gives more light than three ordinary lamps. SAMPLE LAMP SENT FOR FIFTY CENTS IN STAMPS. We have other household articles. Send for circulars.

FORSEE & MCMAKIN, CINCINNATI, O.

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PUBLICATIONS.

MARSHALL M. KIRKMAN'S BOOKS ON RAILROAD TOPICS.

DO YOU WANT TO BECOME A RAILROAD MAN

IF YOU DO, THE BOOKS DESCRIBED BELOW POINT THE WAY.

The most promising field for men of talent and ambition at the present day is the railroad service. The pay is large in many instances, while the service is continuous and honorable. Most of our railroad men began life on the farm. Of this class is the author of the accompanying books descriptive of railway operations, who has been connected continuously with railroads as a subordinate and officer for 27 years. He was brought up on a farm, and began railroading as a lad at $7 per month. He has written a number of standard books on various topics connected with the organization, construction, management and policy of railroads. These books are of interest not only to railroad men but to the general reader as well. They are indispensable to the student. They present every phase of railroad life, and are written in an easy and simple style that both interests and instructs. The books are as follows:

"RAILWAY EXPENDITURES--THEIR EXTENT, OBJECT AND ECONOMY."--A Practical Treatise on Construction and Operation. In Two Volumes, 850 pages. $4.00

"HAND BOOK OF RAILWAY EXPENDITURES."--Practical Directions for Keeping the Expenditure Accounts. 2.00

"RAILWAY REVENUE AND ITS COLLECTION."--And Explaining the Organization of Railroads. 2.50

"THE BAGGAGE PARCEL AND MAIL TRAFFIC OF RAILROADS."--An interesting work on this important service; 425 pages. 2.00

"TRAIN AND STATION SERVICE"--Giving The Principal Rules and Regulations governing Trains; 280 pages. 2.00

"THE TRACK ACCOUNTS OF RAILROADS."--And how they should be kept. Pamphlet. 1.00

"THE FREIGHT TRAFFIC WAY-BILL."--Its Uses Illustrated and Described. Pamphlet. .50

"MUTUAL GUARANTEE."--A Treatise on Mutual Suretyship. Pamphlet. .50

Any of the above books will be sent post paid on receipt of price, by

PRAIRIE FARMER PUBLISHING CO., 150 Monroe St. CHICAGO, ILL.

Money should be remitted by express, or by draft check or post office order.

* * * * *

ONLY ONE DOLLAR A YEAR.

LOOK at this MAGNIFICENT OFFER for 1884. One of these beautiful Cluster Regard Rings or 7 BEAUTIFUL OIL CHROMOS, and these HANDSOME SOLITAIRE PARISIAN DIAMOND EAR DROPS. This is no humbug, but a chance that will never be offered again, as it appears but once. So do not let THIS CHANCE SLIP by when you can get any of these BEAUTIFUL ARTICLES by subscribing for the LEADING FAMILY STORY PAPER, HOUSEHOLD AND FARM, providing your order is received on or before MARCH 15TH, 1884. As we wish to introduce our Illustrated Family Paper, THE HOUSEHOLD AND FARM, in fifty thousand new homes, and in order to do so we make this wonderful offer. THE HOUSEHOLD AND FARM (Subscription price only $1.00 per year), is a sixteen page family paper, illustrated, cut and bound, and same size as Harper's Weekly, and brimful of interesting reading for the household. This offer is only extended to ONE MEMBER OF EACH FAMILY, and will not be made again. Postage Stamps taken. Address,

HOUSEHOLD & FARM, 9 Spruce Street, P. O. Box 2834. NEW YORK.

HOUSEHOLD.

For nothing lovelier can be found In woman than to study _household_ good.--_Milton._

"GOING UP HEAD."

AN OLD SOLDIER'S STORY.

The low school-house stood in a green Wabash wood Lookin' out on long levels of corn like a sea-- A little log-house, hard benches, and we, Big barefooted boys and rough 'uns, we stood In line with the gals and tried to get 'head At spellin' each day when the lessons was said.

But one, Bally Dean, tall, bony, and green As green corn in the milk, stood fast at the foot-- Stood day after day, as if he'd been put A soldier on guard there did poor Bally Dean. And stupid! God made him so stupid I doubt-- But I guess God who made us knows what He's about.

He'd a long way to walk. But he wouldn't once talk Of that, nor the chores for his mother who lay A shakin' at home. Still, day after day He stood at the foot till the class 'gan to mock! Then to master he plead, "Oh I'd like to go head!" Now it wasn't so much, but the way it was said.

Then the war struck the land! Why the barefooted band It just nailed up that door: and the very next day, With master for Cap'en, went marchin' away; And Bally the butt of the whole Wabash band. But he bore with it all, yet once firmly said, "When I get back home, I'm agoin' up head!"

Oh, that school-house that stood in the wild Wabash wood! The rank weeds were growin' like ghosts through the floor. The squirrels hulled nuts on the sill of the door. And the gals stood in groups scrapin' lint where they stood. And we boys! How we sighed; how we sickened and died For the days that had been, for a place at their side.

Then one fever-crazed and his better sense dazed And dulled with heart-sickness all duty forgot; Deserted, was taken, condemned to be shot! And Bally Dean guardin' his comrade half crazed, Slow paced up and down while he slept where he lay In the tent waitin' death at the first flush of day.

And Bally Dean thought of the boy to be shot, Of the fair girl he loved in the woods far away; Of the true love that grew like a red rose of May; And he stopped where he stood, and he thought and he thought Then a sudden star fell, shootin' on overhead. And he knew that his mother beckon'd onto the dead.

And he said what have I? Though I live though I die. Who shall care for me now? Then the dull, muffled drum Struck his ear, and he knew that the master had come With the squad. And he passed in the tent with a sigh, And the doomed lad crept forth, and the drowsy squad led With low trailin' guns to the march of the dead.

Then with face turned away tow'rd a dim streak of day, And his voice full of tears the poor bowed master said, As he fell on his knees and uncovered his head: "Come boys it is school time, let us all pray." And we prayed. And the lad by the coffin alone Was tearless, was silent, was still as a stone.

"In line," master said, and he stood at the head; But he couldn't speak now. So he drew out his sword And dropped the point low for the last fatal word. Then the rifles rang out, and a soldier fell dead! The master sprang forward. "Great Heaven," he said, "It is Bally, poor Bally, and he's gone up head!"

--_Joaquin Miller._

TOO FAT TO MARRY.

A very fat young woman came to my office and asked to see me privately. When we were alone she said:

"Are you sure no one can overhear us?"

"Quite sure."

"You won't laugh at me, will you?"

"Madam, I should be unworthy of your confidence if I could be guilty of such a rudeness."

"Thank you, sir; but no one ever called upon you on such a ridiculous errand. You won't think me an idiot, will you?"

"I beg of you to go on."

"You don't care to know my name or residence?"

"Certainly not, if you care to conceal them."

"I have called to consult you about the strangest thing in the world. I will tell you all. I am twenty-three years old. When I was nineteen I weighed 122 pounds; now I weigh 209; I am all filling up with fat. I can hardly breathe. The best young man that ever lived loves me, and has been on the point of asking me to marry him, but of course he sees I am growing worse all the time and he don't dare venture. I can't blame him. He is the noblest man in the world, and could marry any one he chooses. I don't blame him for not wishing to unite himself to such a tub as I am. Why, Doctor, you don't know how fat I am. I am a sight to behold. And now I have come to see if any thing can be done. I know you have studied up all sorts of curious subjects, and I thought you might be able to tell me how to get rid of this dreadful curse."

She had been talking faster and faster, and with more and more feeling (after the manner of fat women, who are always emotional), until she broke down in hysterical sobs.

I inquired about her habits--table and otherwise. She replied:

"Oh, I starve myself; I don't eat enough to keep a canary bird alive, and yet I grow fatter and fatter all the time. I don't believe anything can be done for me. We all have our afflictions, and I suppose we ought to bear them with fortitude. I wouldn't mind for myself, but it's just breaking his heart; if it wasn't for him I could be reconciled."

I then explained to her our nervous system, and the bearing certain conditions of one class of nerves has upon the deposition of adipose tissue. I soon saw she was not listening, but was mourning her sorrow. Then I asked her if she would be willing to follow a prescription I might give her.

"Willing? willing?" she cried. "I would be willing to go through fire, or to have my flesh cut off with red-hot knives. There is nothing I would not be willing to endure if I could only get rid of this horrible condition."

I prepared a prescription for her, and arranged that she should call upon me once a week, that I might supervise her progress and have frequent opportunities to encourage her. The prescription which I read to her was this:

1. For breakfast eat a piece of beef or mutton as large as your hand, with a slice of white bread twice as large. For dinner the same amount of meat, or, if preferred, fish or poultry, with the same amount of farinaceous or vegetable food in the form of bread or potato. For supper, nothing.

2. Drink only when greatly annoyed with thirst; then a mouthful of lemonade without sugar.

3. Take three times a week some form of bath, in which there shall be immense perspiration. The Turkish bath is best. You must work, either in walking or some other way, several hours a day.

"But, doctor, I can't walk; my feet are sore."

"I thought that might be the case, but if the soles of your shoes are four inches broad, and are thick and strong, walking will not hurt your feet. You must walk or work until you perspire freely, every day of the week. Of course, you are in delicate health, with little endurance, but, as you have told me that you are willing to do anything, you are to work hard at something six or seven hours every day."

4. You must rise early in the morning, and retire late at night. Much sleep fattens people.

5. The terrible corset you have on, which compresses the center of the body, making you look a great deal fatter than you really are, must be taken off, and you must have a corset which any dress maker can fit to you--a corset for the lower part of the abdomen, which will raise this great mass and support it.

"This is all the advice I have to give you at present. At first you will lose half a pound a day. In the first three months you will lose from twenty to thirty pounds. In six months, forty pounds. You will constantly improve in health, get over this excessive emotion, and be much stronger. Every one knows that a very fat horse weighing 1,200 pounds, can be quickly reduced to 1,000 pounds with great improvement to activity and health. It is still easier with a human being. That you may know exactly what is being done, I wish you to be weighed; write the figures in your memorandum, and one week from now, when you come again, weigh yourself and tell me how much you have lost."

I happened to be out of the city and did not see her until her second visit, two weeks from our last meeting. It was plain when she entered that already her system was being toned up, and when we were again in my private office, she said:

"I have lost six and a half pounds; not quite as much as you told me, but I am delighted, though nearly starved. I have done exactly as you prescribed, and shall continue to if it kills me. You must be very careful not to make any mistakes, for I shall do just as you say. At first the thirst was dreadful. I thought I could not bear it. But now I have very little trouble with that."

About four months after our first meeting this young woman brought a handsome young man with her, and after a pleasant chat, she said to me:

"We are engaged; but I have told my friend that I shall not consent to become his wife until I have a decent shape. When I came to you I weighed 209 pounds; I now weigh 163 pounds. I am ten times as strong, active, and healthy as I was then, and I have made up my mind, for my friend has left it altogether to me, that when I have lost ten or fifteen pounds more, we shall send you the invitations."

As the wedding day approached she brought the figures 152 on a card, and exclaimed, with her blue eyes running over:

"I am the happiest girl in the world, and don't you think I have honestly earned it? I think I am a great deal happier than I should have been had I not worked for it."

The papers said the bride was beautiful. I thought she was, and I suppose no one but herself and husband felt as much interested in that beauty as I did. I took a sort of scientific interest in it.

We made the usual call upon them during the first month, and when, two months after the wedding, they were spending the evening with us, I asked him if his wife had told him about my relations with her avoirdupois? He laughed heartily, and replied:

"Oh, yes, she has told me everything, I suppose: but wasn't it funny?"

"Not very. I am sure you wouldn't have thought it funny if you could have heard our first interview. It was just the reverse of funny; don't you think so madam?"

"I am sure it was the most anxious visit I ever paid any one. Doctor, my good husband says he should have married me just the same, but I think he would have been a goose if he had."

"Yes," said the husband, "it was foreordained that we two should be one."

"To be sure it was," replied the happy wife, "because it was foreordained that I should get rid of those horrid fifty-seven pounds. I am going down till I reach one hundred and forty pounds, and there I will stop, unless my husband says one hundred and thirty. I am willing do anything to please him."--_Dio Lewis' Monthly._

ORNAMENTS FOR HOMES.

It is not the most expensively furnished houses that are the most homelike, besides comparatively few persons have the means to gratify their love of pretty little ornaments with which to beautify their homes. It is really painful to visit some houses; there naked walls and cheerless rooms meet you yet there are many such, and children in them too. How much might these homes be brightened by careful forethought in making some little ornaments that are really of no expense, save the time.

Comb cases, card receivers, letter holders, match safes, paper racks, cornucopias, and many other pretty and useful things can easily be made of nice clean paste board boxes (and the boxes are to be found in a variety of colors). For any of these cut out the parts and nicely sew them together, and the seams and raw edges can be covered with narrow strips of bright hued paper or tape. Ornament them with transfer or scrap pictures.

I have seen very pretty vases for holding dried flowers and grasses, made of plain dark brown pasteboard, and the seams neatly covered with narrow strips of paper. Pretty ottomans can be made by covering any suitable sized box with a bit of carpeting, and stuffing the top with straw or cotton. Or, if the carpeting is not convenient, piece a covering of worsteds. A log cabin would be a pretty pattern.

To amuse the children during the long winter months, make a scrap-book of pictures. Collect all the old illustrated books, papers, and magazines, and cut out the pictures and with mucilage nicely paste them in a book, first removing alternate leaves so it will not be too bulky. Perhaps this last remark is slightly wandering from my subject, but I can't help it, I love the little folks and want them happy. Cares and trouble will come to them soon enough. Autograph albums are quite the rage nowadays, and children get the idea and quite naturally think it pretty nice, and want an album too. For them make a pretty album in the form of a boot. For the outside use plain red cardboard; for the inside leaves use unruled paper; fasten at the top with two tiny bows of narrow blue ribbon. A lady sent my little girl an autograph album after this pattern for a birthday present and it is very neat indeed. Any of the little folks who want a pattern of it can have it and welcome by sending stamp to pay postage. For the wee little girl make a nice rag doll; it will please her quite as well as a boughten one, and certainly last much longer. I have a good pattern for a doll which you may also have if you wish it. A nice receptacle for pins, needles, thread, etc., can be made in form of an easy chair or sofa. Cut the part of pasteboard and cover the seat, arms, and back with cloth, and stuff with cotton. Brackets made of pasteboard will do service a long time.

MRS. F. A. WARNER SOUTH SAGINAW, MICH.

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RAILROADS.

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* * * * *

MAPS.

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By arrangements with the publishers of this Map we are enabled to make the following liberal offer: To each person who will remit us $2.25 we will send copy of THE PRAIRIE FARMER One Year and THIS MAP POSTPAID. Address

PRAIRIE FARMER PUBLISHING CO., CHICAGO, ILL.

* * * * *

MISCELLANEOUS.

"FACTS ABOUT Arkansas and Texas."

A handsome book, beautifully illustrated, with colored diagrams, giving reliable information as to crops, population, religious denominations, commerce, timber, Railroads, lands, etc., etc.

Sent free to any address on receipt of a 2-cent stamp. Address

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* * * * *

500 VIRGINIA FARMS & MILLS

FOR SALE AND EXCHANGE. Write for free REAL ESTATE JOURNAL.

R.B. CHAFFIN & CO., Richmond, Virginia.

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