Part 2

When you invite a person to a family dinner, do not attempt too much. It is really more elegant to have the dinner appear as if it were an every-day affair than to impress the guest, by an ostentatious variety, that it is quite an especial event to ask a friend to dinner. Many Americans are deterred from entertaining, because they think they can not have company without a vulgar abundance, which is, of course, as expensive and troublesome as it is coarse and unrefined.

For reasonable and sensible people, there is no dinner more satisfactory than one consisting first of a soup, then a fish, garnished with boiled potatoes, followed by a roast, also garnished with one vegetable; perhaps an _entrée_, always a salad, some cheese, and a dessert. This, well cooked and neatly and quietly served, is a stylish and good enough dinner for any one, and is within the power of a gentleman or lady of moderate means to give. “It is the exquisite quality of a dinner or a wine that pleases us, not the multiplicity of dishes or vintages.”

3d. Never attempt a new dish with company--one that you are not entirely sure of having cooked in the very best manner.

4th. Care must be taken about selecting a company for a dinner party, for upon this depends the success of the entertainment. Always put the question to yourself, when making up a dinner party, Why do I ask him or her? And unless the answer be satisfactory, leave him or her out. Invite them on some other occasion. If they are not sensible, social, unaffected, and clever people, they will not only not contribute to the agreeability of the dinner, but will positively be a serious impediment to conversational inspiration and the general feeling of ease. Consequently, one may consider it a compliment to be invited to a dinner party.

5th. Have the distribution of seats at table so managed, using some tact in the arrangement, that there need be no confusion, when the guests enter the dining-room, about their being seated. If the guest of honor be a lady, place her at the right of the host; if a gentleman, at the right of the hostess.

If the dinner company be so large that the hostess can not easily place her guests without confusion, have a little card on each plate bearing the name of the person who is to occupy the place. Plain cards are well enough; but the French design (they are designed in this country also) beautiful cards for the purpose, illustrated with varieties of devices: some are rollicking cherubs with capricious antics, who present different tempting viands; autumn leaves and delicate flowers in chromo form pretty surroundings for the names on others; yet the designs are so various on these and the bill-of-fare cards that each hostess may seek to find new ones, while frequent dinner-goers may have interesting collections of these mementoes, which may serve to recall the occasions in after-years.

6th. If the dinner is intended to be particularly fine, have bills of fare, one for each person, written on little sheets of paper smoothly cut in half, or on French bill-of-fare cards, which come for the purpose. If expense is no object, and you entertain enough to justify it, have cards for your own use especially engraved. Have your crest, or perhaps a monogram, at the top of the card, and forms for different courses following, so headed that you have only to fill out the space with the special dishes for the occasion. I will give the example of a form. The forms are often seen on the dinner-cards; yet, perhaps, they are as often omitted, when the bills of fare are written, like those given at the end of the book.

Bills of fare are generally written in French. It is a pity that our own rich language is inadequate to the duties of a fashionable bill of fare, especially when, perhaps, all the guests do not understand the Gallic tongue, and the bill of fare (_menu_) for their accommodation might as well be written in Choctaw. I will arrange a table with French names of dishes for the aid of those preferring the French bills of fare. I would say that some tact might be displayed in choosing which language to employ.

+--------------------------+ | MENU. | | ----- | | Dîner du 15 Février. | | ----- | | Potages. | | Poissons. | | Hors-d’œuvres. | | Relevés. | | Entrées. | | Rôtis. | | Entremêts. | | Glaces. | | Dessert. | +--------------------------+

If you are entertaining a ceremonious company, with tastes for the frivolities of the world, or, perhaps, foreign embassadors, use unhesitatingly the French bills of fare; but practical uncles and substantial persons of learning and wit, who, perhaps, do not appreciate the merits of languages which they do not understand, might consider you demented to place one of these effusions before them. I would advise the English bills of fare on these occasions.

7th. The attendants at table should make no noise. They should wear slippers or light boots. “Nothing so distinguishes the style of perfectly appointed houses from vulgar imitations as the quiet, self-possessed movements of the attendants.” No word should be spoken among them during dinner, nor should they even seem to notice the conversation of the company at table.

8th. The waiter should wear a dress-coat, white vest, black trousers, and white necktie; the waiting-maid, a neat black alpaca or a clean calico dress, with a white apron.

9th. Although I would advise these rules to be generally followed, yet it is as pleasant a change to see an individuality or a characteristic taste displayed in the setting of the table and the choice of dishes as in the appointments of our houses or in matters of toilet. At different seasons the table might be changed to wear a more appropriate garb. It may be solid, rich, and showy, or simple, light, and fresh.

10th. Aim to have a variety or change in dishes. It is as necessary to the stomach and to the enjoyment of the table as is change of scene for the mind. Even large and expensive state dinners become very monotonous when one finds everywhere the same choice of dishes. Mr. Walker, in his “Original,” says: “To order dinner is a matter of invention and combination. It involves novelty, simplicity, and taste; whereas, in the generality of dinners, there is no character but that of routine, according to the season.”

11th. Although many fashionable dinners are of from three to four hours’ duration, I think every minute over two hours is a “stately durance vile.” After that time, one can have no appetite; conversation must be forced. It is preferable to have the dinner a short one than a minute too long. If one rises from a fine dinner wearied and satiated, the memory of the whole occasion must be tinged with this last impression.

12th. There is a variety of opinions as to who should be first served at table. Many of the _haut monde_ insist that the hostess should be first attended to. Once, when visiting a family with an elegant establishment, who, with cultivated tastes and years of traveling experience, prided themselves on their _savoir faire_, one of the members said, “Yes, if Queen Victoria were our guest, our sister, who presides at table, should always be served first.” The custom originated in ancient times, when the hospitable fashion of poisoning was in vogue. Then the guests preferred to see the hostess partake of each dish before venturing themselves. Poisoning is not now the order of the day, beyond what is accomplished by rich pastry and plum-puddings. If there be but one attendant, the lady guest sitting at the right of the host or the oldest lady should be first served. There are certain natural instincts of propriety which fashion or custom can not regulate. As soon as the second person is helped, there should be no further waiting before eating.

13th. Have chairs of equal height at table. Perhaps every one may know by experience the trial to his good humor in finding himself perched above or sunk below the general level.

14th. The selection of china for the table offers an elegant field in which to display one’s taste. The most economical choice for durability is this: put your extra money in a handsome dessert set, all (except the plates) of which are displayed on the table all the time during dinner; then select the remainder of the service in plain white, or white and gilt, china. When any dish is broken, it can be easily matched and replaced.

A set of china decorated in color to match the color of the dining-room is exceedingly tasteful. This choice is not an economical one, as it is necessary to replace broken pieces by having new ones manufactured--an expense quite equal to the extra trouble required to imitate a dish made in another country.

By far the most elegant arrangement consists in having different sets of plates, each set of a different pattern, for every course. Here is an unlimited field for exquisite taste. Let the meat and vegetable dishes be of plated silver. Let the _épergne_ or centre-piece (holding flowers or fruit) be of silver, or perhaps it might be preferred of majolica, of bisque, or of glass. The majolica ware is very fashionable now, and dessert, oyster, and salad sets of it are exceedingly pretty. A set of majolica plates, imitating pink shells, with a large pink-shell platter, is very pretty, and appropriate for almost any course. Oyster-plates in French ware imitate five oyster-shells, with a miniature cup in the centre for holding the lemon. There are other patterns of oyster-plates in majolica of the most gorgeous colors, where each rim is concaved in six shells to hold as many oysters. The harlequin dessert sets are interesting, where every plate is not only different in design and color, but is a specimen of different kinds of ware as well. In these sets the Dresden, French, and painted plates of any ware that suits the fancy are combined.

A set of plates for a course at dinner is unique in the Chinese or Japanese patterns. Dessert sets of Bohemian glass or of cut-glass are a novelty; however, the painted sets seem more appropriate for the dessert (fruits, etc.), while glass sets are tasteful for jellies, cold puddings, etc., or what are called the cold _entremêts_ served just before the dessert proper.

But it seems difficult, in entering the Colamores’ and other large places of the kind in New York, to know what to select, there are such myriads of exquisite plates, table ornaments, and fairy-lands of glass.

I consider the table ornaments in silver much less attractive than those in fancy ware. There are lovely maidens in bisque, reclining, while they hold painted oval dishes for a jelly, a Bavarian cream, or for flowers or fruit; cherub boys in majolica, tugging away with wheelbarrows, which should be loaded with flowers; antique water-jugs; cheese-plates in Venetian glass; clusters of lilies from mirror bases to hold flowers or _bonbons_; tripods of dolphins, with great pink mouths, to hold salt and pepper.

If a lady, with tastes to cultivate in her family, can afford elegancies in dress, let her retrench in that, and bid farewell to all her ugly and insipid white china; let wedding presents consist more of these ornaments (which may serve to decorate any room), and less of silver salt-cellars, pepper-stands, and pickle-forks.

Senator Sumner was a lover of the ceramic art. His table presented a delightful study to the connoisseur, with its different courses of plates, all different and _recherché_ in design. Nothing aroused this inimitable host at a dinner party from his literary labors more effectually than a special announcement to him by Marley of the arrival from Europe of a new set of quaint and elegant specimens of China ware. He would repair to New York on the next train.

15th. I will close these suggestions by copying from an English book a practical drill exercise for serving at table. The dishes are served from the side-table.

“Let us suppose a table laid for eight persons, dressed in its best; as attendants, only two persons--a butler and a footman, or one of these, with a page or neat waiting-maid; and let us suppose some one stationed outside the door in the butler’s pantry to do nothing but fetch up, or hand, or carry off dishes, one by one:

While guests are being seated, person from outside brings up soup; Footman receives soup at door; Butler serves it out; Footman hands it; Both change plates. Footman takes out soup, and receives fish at door; while butler hands wine; Butler serves out fish; Footman hands it (plate in one hand, and sauce in the other); Both change plates. Footman brings in _entrée_, while butler hands wine; Butler hands _entrée_; Footman hands vegetables; Both change plates, Etc., etc.

“The carving of the joint seems the only difficulty. However, it will not take long for an expert carver to cut eight pieces.”

THE DINNER PARTY.

It is very essential, in giving a dinner party, to know precisely how many guests one is to entertain. It is a serious inconvenience to have any doubt on this subject. Consequently, it is well to send an invitation, which may be in the following form:

+--------------------------------------------------------+ | | | _Mrs. Smith requests the pleasure of Mr. Jones’s | | company at dinner, on Thursday, January 5th, at | | seven o’clock._ | | | | R. S. V. P. | | | | _12 New York Avenue, January 2d, 1875._ | | | +--------------------------------------------------------+

The capital letters constitute the initials of four French words, meaning, “Answer, if you please” (_Répondez s’il vous plait_). The person thus invited must not fail to reply at once, sending a messenger to the door with the note. It is considered impolite to send it by post.

If the person invited has any doubt about being able to attend the dinner at the time stated, he should decline the invitation at once. He should be positive one way or the other, not delaying the question for consideration more than a day at the utmost. If Mr. Jones should then decline, he might reply as follows:

+------------------------------------------------------------+ | | | _Mr. Jones regrets that he is unable to accept | | Mrs. Smith’s polite invitation for Thursday evening._ | | | | _8 Thirty-seventh Street, January 3d._ | | | +------------------------------------------------------------+

Or,

+------------------------------------------------------------+ | | | _Mr. Jones regrets that a previous engagement | | prevents his acceptance of Mrs. Smith’s polite invitation | | for Thursday evening._ | | | | _Thirty-seventh Street, January 3d._ | | | +------------------------------------------------------------+

A prompt and decided answer of this character enables Mrs. Smith to supply the place with some other person, thereby preventing that most disagreeable thing, a vacant chair at table.

If the invitation be accepted, Mr. Jones might say in his note:

+------------------------------------------------------------+ | | | _Mr. Jones accepts, with pleasure, Mrs. Smith’s | | invitation for Thursday evening._ | | | | _Thirty-seventh Street, January 2d._ | | | +------------------------------------------------------------+

The more simple the invitation or reply, the better. Do not attempt any high-flown or original modes. Originality is most charming on most occasions; this is not one of them.

In New York, many, I notice, seem to think it elegant to use the French construction of sentences in formal notes: for instance, they are particular to say, “the invitation of Mrs. Smith,” instead of “Mrs. Smith’s invitation;” and “2d January,” instead of “January 2d.” In writing in the French language, the French construction of sentences would seem eminently proper. One might be pardoned for laughing at an English construction, if ignorance were not the cause. So, when one writes in English, let the sentences be concise, and according to the rules of the language.

On the appointed day, the guest should endeavor to arrive at the house not exceeding ten minutes before the time fixed for dinner; and while he avoids a too early arrival, he should be equally careful about being tardy.

It is enough to disturb the serenity and good temper of the most amiable hostess during the whole evening for a guest to delay her dinner, impairing it, of course, to a great extent. She should not be expected to wait over fifteen minutes for any one. Perhaps it would be as well for her to order dinner ten minutes after the appointed hour in her invitation, to meet the possible contingency of delay on the part of some guest.

When the guests are assembled in the drawing-room, if the company be large, the host or hostess can quietly intimate to the gentlemen what ladies they will respectively accompany to the dining-room. After a few moments of conversation and introductions, the dinner is to be announced, when the host should offer his arm to the lady guest of honor, the hostess taking the arm of the gentleman guest of honor; and now, the host leading the way, all should follow; the hostess, with her escort, being the last to leave the drawing-room. They should find their places at table with as little confusion as possible, not sitting down until the hostess is seated. After dinner is over, the hostess giving the signal by moving back her chair, all should leave the dining-room. The host may then invite the gentlemen to the smoking-room or library. The ladies should repair to the drawing-room. A short time thereafter (perhaps in half an hour), the butler should bring to the drawing-room the tea-service on a salver, with a cake-basket filled with fancy biscuits, or rather crackers or little cakes.

Placing them on the table, he may then announce to the host that tea is served. The gentlemen join the ladies; and, after a chat of a few minutes over the tea, all of the guests may take their departure. If the attendant is a waiting-maid, and the tea-service rather heavy, she might bring two or three cups filled with tea, and a small sugar-bowl and cream-pitcher, also the cake-basket, on a small salver; and when the cups are passed, return for more.

I do not like the English fashion, which requires the ladies to retire from the table, leaving the gentlemen to drink more wine, and smoke. Enough wine is drunk during dinner. English customs are admirable, generally, and one naturally inclines to adopt them; but in this instance I do not hesitate to condemn and reject a custom in which I see no good, but, on the contrary, a temptation to positive evil. The French reject it; let Americans do the same.

COOKING AS AN ACCOMPLISHMENT.

The reason why cooking in America is, as a rule, so inferior is not because American women are less able and apt than the women of France, and not because the American men do not discuss and appreciate the merits of good cooking and the pleasure of entertaining friends at their own table; it is merely because American women seem possessed with the idea that it is not the fashion to know how to cook; that, as an accomplishment, the art of cooking is not as ornamental as that of needle-work or piano-playing. I do not undervalue these last accomplishments. A young lady of _esprit_ should understand them; but she should understand, also, the accomplishment of cooking. A young lady can scarcely have too many accomplishments, for they serve to adorn her home, and are attractive and charming, generally. But of them all--painting, music, fancy work, or foreign language--is there one more fascinating and useful, or one which argues more intelligence in its acquisition, than the accomplishment of cooking?

What would more delight Adolphus than to discover that his pretty _fiancée_, Julia, was an accomplished cook; that with her dainty fingers she could gracefully dash off a creamy omelet, and by miraculous manœuvres could produce to his astonished view a dozen different kaleidoscopic omelets, _aux fines herbes_, _aux huîtres_, _aux petits pois_, _aux tomates_, etc.; and not only that, but scientific croquettes, mysterious soups, delicious salads, marvelous sauces, and the hundred and one savory results of a little artistic skill? Delighted Adolphus--if a sensible man, and such a woman should have no other than a sensible man--would consider this as the _chef-d’œuvre_ of all her accomplishments, as he regarded her the charming assurance of so many future comforts.

From innate coquetry alone the French women appreciate the powers of their dainty table. Cooking is an art they cultivate. Any of the _haut monde_ are proud to originate a new dish, many famous ones doing them credit in bearing their names.

One thing is quite evident in America--that the want of this ornamental and useful information is most deplorable. The inefficiency, in this respect, of Western and Southern women, brought up under the system of slavery, is somewhat greater than that of the women of the Northern and Eastern States; however, as a nation, there is little to praise in this regard in any locality. Professor Blot endeavored to come to the rescue. Every _man_ applauded his enterprise; yet I can myself testify to the indifference of the women--his classes for the study of cookery numbering by units where they should have numbered by hundreds. He soon discontinued his instructive endeavors, and at last died a poor man.

There is little difficulty abroad in obtaining good cooks at reasonable prices, who have pursued regular courses of instruction in their trade: not so in America. Hospitality demands the entertaining of friends at the social board; yet it is almost impossible to do so in this country in an acceptable manner, unless the hostess herself not only has a proper idea of the serving of a table, but of the art of cooking the dishes themselves as well. In some of the larger cities, satisfactory dinners and trained waiters may be provided at an enormous cost at the famous restaurants, where the meal may appear home-like and elegant. But unfortunate is the woman, generally, who wants to do “the correct thing,” and, wishing to entertain at dinner, relies upon the sense, good taste, and management of the proprietor of a restaurant. She may confidently rely upon one thing--an extortionate bill; and, generally, as well, upon a vulgar display, which poorly imitates the manner of refined private establishments.

However, “living for the world” seems very contemptible in comparison with the importance of that wholesome, satisfactory, every-day living which so vitally concerns the health and pleasure of the family circle.