Chapter 30

So when the lassie came home looking so lovely, and beaming as the bright day itself, her stepmother and her stepsister got more and more cross, and they got worse still when she began to talk, and they saw how golden guineas fell from her mouth. As for the stepmother, she got so mad with rage, she chased the lassie into the pigsty. That was the right place for all her gold stuff, but as for coming into the house, she wouldn’t hear of it.

Well, it wasn’t long before the stepmother wished her own daughter to go to the burn to fetch water. So when she came to the water’s edge with her buckets, up popped the first head.

“Wash me, you lassie”, it said.

“The Deil wash you”, said the stepdaughter.

So the second head popped up.

“Brush me, you lassie”, it said.

“The Deil brush you”, said the stepdaughter.

So down it went to the bottom, and the third head popped up.

“Kiss me, you lassie”, said the head.

“The Deil kiss you, you pig’s-snout”, said the girl.

Then the heads chattered together again, and asked what they should do to the girl who was so spiteful and cross-grained; and they all agreed she should have a nose four ells long, and a snout three ells long, and a pine bush right in the midst of her forehead, and every time she spoke, ashes were to fall out of her mouth.

So when she got home with her buckets, she bawled out to her mother:

“Open the door.”

“Open it yourself, my darling child”, said the mother.

“I can’t reach it because of my nose”, said the daughter.

So, when the mother came out and saw her, you may fancy what a way she was in, and how she screamed and groaned; but, for all that, there were the nose and the snout and the pine bush, and they got no smaller for all her grief.

Now the brother, who had got the place in the King’s stable, had taken a little sketch of his sister, which he carried away with him, and every morning and every evening he knelt down before the picture and prayed to Our Lord for his sister, whom he loved so dearly. The other grooms had heard him praying, so they peeped through the key-hole of his room, and there they saw him on his knees before the picture. So they went about saying how the lad every morning and every evening knelt down and prayed to an idol which he had, and at last they went to the king himself and begged him only to peep through the key-hole, and then His Majesty would see the lad, and what things he did. At first the King wouldn’t believe it, but at last they talked him over, and he crept on tiptoe to the door and peeped in. Yes, there was the lad on his knees before the picture, which hung on the wall, praying with clasped hands.

“Open the door!” called out the King; but the lad didn’t hear him.

So the King called out in a louder voice, but the lad was so deep in his prayers he couldn’t hear him this time either. “OPEN THE DOOR, I SAY!” roared out the King; “It’s I, the King, who want to come in.”

Well, up jumped the lad and ran to the door, and unlocked it, but in his hurry he forgot to hide the picture. But when the King came in and saw the picture, he stood there as if he were fettered, and couldn’t stir from the spot, so lovely he thought the picture.

“So lovely a woman there isn’t in all the wide world”, said the King.

But the lad told him she was his sister whom he had drawn, and if she wasn’t prettier than that, at least she wasn’t uglier.

“Well, if she’s so lovely”, said the King, “I’ll have her for my queen”; and then he ordered the lad to set off home that minute, and not be long on the road either. So the lad promised to make as much haste as he could, and started off from the King’s palace.

When the brother came home to fetch his sister, the step-mother and stepsister said they must go too. So they all set out, and the good lassie had a casket in which she kept her gold, and a little dog, whose name was “Little Flo”; those two things were all her mother left her. And when they had gone a while, they came to a lake which they had to cross; so the brother sat down at the helm, and the stepmother and the two girls sat in the bow foreward, and so they sailed a long, long way.

At last they caught sight of land.

“There”, said the brother, “where you see the white strand yonder, there’s where we’re to land”; and as he said this he pointed across the water.

“What is it my brother says?” asked the good lassie.

“He says you must throw your casket overboard”, said the stepmother.

“Well, when my brother says it, I must do it”, said the lassie, and overboard went the casket.

When they had sailed a bit farther, the brother pointed again across the lake.

“There you see the castle we’re going to.”

“What is it my brother says?” asked the lassie.

“He says now you must throw your little dog overboard”, said the stepmother.

Then the lassie wept and was sore grieved, for Little Flo was the dearest thing she had in the world, but at last she threw him overboard.

“When my brother says it, I must do it, but heaven knows how it hurts me to throw you over, Little Flo”, she said.

So they sailed on a good bit still.

“There you see the King coming down to meet us”, said the brother, and pointed towards the strand.

“What is it my brother says”, asked the lassie.

“Now he says you must make haste and throw yourself overboard”, said the stepmother.

Well, the lassie wept and moaned; but when her brother told her to do that, she thought she ought to do it, and so she leapt down into the lake.

But when they came to the palace, and the King saw the loathly bride, with a nose four ells long, and a snout three ells long, and a pine-bush in the midst of her forehead, he was quite scared out of his wits; but the wedding was all ready, both in brewing and baking, and there sat all the wedding guests, waiting for the bride; and so the King couldn’t help himself, but was forced to take her for better for worse. But angry he was, that any one can forgive him, and so he had the brother thrown into a pit full of snakes.

Well, the first Thursday evening after the wedding, about midnight, in came a lovely lady into the palace-kitchen, and begged the kitchen-maid, who slept there, so prettily, to lend her a brush. That she got, and then she brushed her hair, and as she brushed, down dropped gold, A little dog was at her heel, and to him she said:

“Run out, Little Flo, and see if it will soon be day.”

This she said three times, and the third time she sent the dog it was just about the time the dawn begins to peep. Then she had to go, but as she went she sung:

Out on you, ugly Bushy Bride, Lying so warm by the King’s left side; While I on sand and gravel sleep, And over my brother adders creep, And all without a tear.

“Now I come twice more, and then never again.”

So next morning the kitchen-maid told what she had seen and heard, and the King said he’d watch himself next Thursday night in the kitchen, and see if it were true, and as soon as it got dark, out he went into the kitchen to the kitchen-maid. But all he could do, and however much he rubbed his eyes and tried to keep himself awake, it was no good; for the Bushy Bride chaunted and sang till his eyes closed, and so when the lovely lady came, there he slept and snored. This time, too, as before, she borrowed a brush, and brushed her hair till the gold dropped, and sent her dog out three times, and as soon as it was gray dawn, away she went singing the same words, and adding:

“Now I come once more, and then never again.”

The third Thursday evening the King said he would watch again; and he set two men to hold him, one under each arm, who were to shake and jog him every time he wanted to fall asleep; and two men he set to watch his Bushy Bride. But when the night wore on, the Bushy Bride began to chaunt and sing, so that his eyes began to wink, and his head hung down on his shoulders. Then in came the lovely lady, and got the brush and brushed her hair, till the gold dropped from it; after that she sent Little Flo out again to see if it would soon be day, and this she did three times. The third time it began, to get gray in the east; then she sang,

Out on you, ugly Bushy Bride, Lying so warm by the King’s left side; While I on sand and gravel sleep, And over my brother adders creep, And all without a tear.

“Now I come back never more”, she said, and went towards the door. But the two men who held the King under the arms, clenched his hands together, and put a knife into his grasp; and so, somehow or other, they got him to cut her in her little finger, and drew blood. Then the true bride was freed, and the King woke up, and she told him now the whole story, and how her stepmother and sister had deceived her. So the King sent at once and took her brother out of the pit of snakes, and the adders hadn’t done him the least harm, but the stepmother and her daughter were thrown into it in his stead.

And now no one can tell how glad the King was to be rid of that ugly Bushy Bride, and to get a Queen who was as lovely and bright as the day itself. So the true wedding was held, and every one talked of it over seven kingdoms; and then the King and Queen drove to church in their coach, and Little Flo went inside with them too, and when the blessing was given they drove back again, and after that I saw nothing more of them.

BOOTS AND HIS BROTHERS

Once on a time there was a man who had three sons, Peter, Paul, and John. John was Boots, of course, because he was the youngest. I can’t say the man had anything more than these three sons, for he hadn’t one penny to rub against another; and so he told his sons over and over again they must go out into the world and try to earn their bread, for there at home there was nothing to be looked for but starving to death.

Now, a bit off the man’s cottage was the king’s palace, and you must know, just against the king’s windows a great oak had sprung up, which was so stout and big that it took away all the light from the king’s palace. The King had said he would give many, many dollars to the man who could fell the oak, but no one was man enough for that, for as soon as ever one chip of the oak’s trunk flew off, two grew in its stead. A well, too, the King had dug, which was to hold water for the whole year; for all his neighbours had wells, but he hadn’t any, and that he thought a shame. So the King said he would give any one who could dig him such a well as would hold water for a whole year round, both money and goods; but no one could do it, for the King’s palace lay high, high up on a hill, and they hadn’t dug a few inches before they came upon the living rock.

But as the King had set his heart on having these two things done, he had it given out far and wide, in all the churches of his kingdom, that he who could fell the big oak in the king’s court-yard, and get him a well that would hold water the whole year round, should have the Princess and half the kingdom. Well! you may easily know there was many a man who came to try his luck; but for all their hacking and hewing, and all their digging and delving, it was no good. The oak got bigger and stouter at every stroke, and the rock didn’t get softer either. So one day those three brothers thought they’d set off and try too, and their father hadn’t a word against it; for even if they didn’t get the Princess and half the kingdom, it might happen they might get a place somewhere with a good master; and that was all he wanted. So when the brothers said they thought of going to the palace, their father said “yes” at once. So Peter, Paul, and Jack went off from their home.

Well! they hadn’t gone far before they came to a fir wood, and up along one side of it rose a steep hill-side, and as they went, they heard something hewing and hacking away up on-the hill among the trees.

“I wonder now what it is that is hewing away up yonder?” said Jack.

“You’re always so clever with your wonderings”, said Peter and Paul both at once. “What wonder is it, pray, that a woodcutter should stand and hack up on a hill-side?”

“Still, I’d like to see what it is, after all”, said Jack; and up he went.

“Oh, if you’re such a child, ’twill do you good to go and take a lesson”, bawled out his brothers after him.

But Jack didn’t care for what they said; he climbed the steep hill-side towards where the noise came, and when he reached the place, what do you think he saw? why, an axe that stood there hacking and hewing, all of itself, at the trunk of a fir.

“Good day!” said Jack. “So you stand here all alone and hew, do you?”

“Yes; here I’ve stood and hewed and hacked a long long time, waiting for you”, said the Axe.

“Well, here I am at last”, said Jack, as he took the axe, pulled it off its haft, and stuffed both head and haft into his wallet.

So when he got down again to his brothers, they began to jeer and laugh at him.

“And now, what funny thing was it you saw up yonder on the hill-side?” they said.

“Oh, it was only an axe we heard”, said Jack.

So when they had gone a bit farther, they came under a steep spur of rock, and up there they heard something digging and shovelling.

“I wonder now,” said Jack, “what it is digging and shovelling up yonder at the top of the rock.”

“Ah, you’re always so clever with your wonderings”, said Peter and Paul again, “as if you’d never heard a woodpecker hacking and pecking at a hollow tree.”

“Well, well”, said Jack, “I think it would be a piece of fun just to see what it really is.”

And so off he set to climb the rock, while the others laughed and made game of him. But he didn’t care a bit for that; up he clomb, and when he got near the top, what do you think he saw? Why, a spade that stood there digging and delving.

“Good day!” said Jack. “So you stand here all alone, and dig and delve!”

“Yes, that’s what I do”, said the Spade, “and that’s what I’ve done this many a long day, waiting for you.”

“Well, here I am”, said Jack again, as he took the spade and knocked it off its handle, and put it into his wallet, and then down again to his brothers.

“Well, what was it, so rare and strange”, said Peter and Paul, “that you saw up there at the top of the rock?”

“Oh,”, said Jack, “nothing more than a spade; that was what we heard.”

So they went on again a good bit, till they came to a brook. They were thirsty, all three, after their long walk, and so they lay down beside the brook to have a drink.

“I wonder now”, said Jack, “where all this water comes from.”

“I wonder if you’re right in your head”, said Peter and Paul, in one breath. “If you’re not mad already, you’ll go mad very soon, with your wonderings. Where the brook comes from, indeed! Have you never heard how water rises from a spring in the earth?”

“Yes! but still I’ve a great fancy to see where this brook comes from”, said Jack.

So up alongside the brook he went, in spite of all that his brothers bawled after him. Nothing could stop him. On he went. So, as he went up and up, the brook got smaller and smaller, and at last, a little way farther on, what do you think he saw? Why, a great walnut, and out of that the water trickled.

“Good-day!” said Jack again. “So you lie here, and trickle and run down all alone?”

“Yes, I do,” said the Walnut; “and here have I trickled and run this many a long day, waiting for you.”

“Well, here I am”, said Jack, as he took up a lump of moss and plugged up the hole, that the water mightn’t run out. Then he put the walnut into his wallet, and ran down to his brothers.

“Well now”, said Peter and Paul, “have you found out where the water comes from? A rare sight it must have been!”

“Oh, after all, it was only a hole it ran out of”, said Jack; and so the others laughed and made game of him again, but Jack didn’t mind that a bit.

“After all, I had the fun of seeing it”, said he. So when they had gone a bit farther, they came to the king’s palace; but as every one in the kingdom had heard how they might win the Princess and half the realm, if they could only fell the big oak and dig the king’s well, so many had come to try their luck that the oak was now twice as stout and big as it had been at first, for two chips grew for every one they hewed out with their axes, as I daresay you all bear in mind. So the King had now laid it down as a punishment, that if any one tried and couldn’t fell the oak, he should be put on a barren island, and both his ears were to be clipped off. But the two brothers didn’t let themselves be scared by that; they were quite sure they could fell the oak, and Peter, as he was eldest, was to try his hand first; but it went with him as with all the rest who had hewn at the oak; for every chip he cut out, two grew in its place. So the king’s men seized him, and clipped off both his ears, and put him out on the island.

Now Paul, he was to try his luck, but he fared just the same; when he had hewn two or three strokes, they began to see the oak grow, and so the king’s men seized him too, and clipped his ears, and put him out on the island; and his ears they clipped closer, because they said he ought to have taken a lesson from his brother.

So now Jack was to try.

“If you _will_ look like a marked sheep, we’re quite ready to clip your ears at once, and then you’ll save yourself some bother”, said the King; for he was angry with him for his brothers’ sake.

“Well, I’d like just to try first”, said Jack, and so he got leave. Then he took his axe out of his wallet and fitted it to its haft.

“Hew away!” said he to his axe; and away it hewed, making the chips fly again, so that it wasn’t long before down came the oak.

When that was done, Jack pulled out his spade, and fitted it to its handle.

“Dig away!” said he to the spade; and so the spade began to dig and delve till the earth and rock flew out in splinters, and so he had the well soon dug out, you may think.

And when he had got it as big and deep as he chose, Jack took out his walnut and laid it in one corner of the well, and pulled the plug of moss out.

“Trickle and run”, said Jack; and so the nut trickled and ran, till the water gushed out of the hole in a stream, and in a short time the well was brimfull.

Then Jack had felled the oak which shaded the king’s palace, and dug a well in the palace-yard, and so he got the Princess and half the kingdom, as the King had said; but it was lucky for Peter and Paul that they had lost their ears, else they had heard each hour and day, how every one said, “Well, after all, Jack wasn’t so much out of his mind when he took to wondering.”

BIG PETER AND LITTLE PETER

Once on a time there were two brothers, both named Peter, and so the elder was called Big Peter, and the younger Little Peter. When his father was dead, Big Peter took him a wife with lots of money, but Little Peter was at home with his mother, and lived on her means till he grew up. So when he was of age he came into his heritage, and then Big Peter said he mustn’t stay any longer in the old house, and eat up his mother’s substance; ’twere better he should go out into the world and do something for himself.

Yes; Little Peter thought that no bad plan; so he bought himself a fine horse and a load of butter and cheese, and set off to the town; and with the money he got for his goods he bought brandy, and wine, and beer, and as soon as ever he got home again it was one round of holiday-keeping and merry-making; he treated all his old friends and neighbours, and they treated him again; and so he lived in fun and frolic so long as his money lasted. But when his last shilling was spent, and Little Peter hadn’t a penny in his purse, he went back home again to his old mother, and brought nothing with him but a calf. When the spring came he turned out the calf and let it graze on Big Peter’s meadow. Then Big Peter got cross and killed the calf at one blow; but Little Peter, he flayed the calf, and hung the skin up in the bath-room till it was thoroughly dry; then he rolled it up, stuffed it into a sack, and went about the country trying to sell it; but wherever he came, they only laughed at him, and said they had no need of smoked calfskin. So when he had walked on a long way, he came to a farm, and there he turned in and asked for a night’s lodging.

“Nay, nay”, said the Goody, “I can’t give you lodging, for my husband is up at the shieling on the hill, and I’m alone in the house. You must just try to get shelter at our next neighbour’s; but still if they won’t take you in, you may come back, for you must have a house over your head, come what may.”

So as little Peter passed by the parlour window, he saw that there was a priest in there, with whom the Goody was making merry, and she was serving him up ale and brandy, and a great bowl of custard. But just as the priest had sat down to eat and drink, back came the husband, and as soon as ever the Goody heard him in the passage, she was not slow; she took the bowl of custard, and put it under the kitchen grate, and the ale and brandy into the cellar, and as for the priest, she locked him up in a great chest which stood there. All this Little Peter stood outside and saw, and as soon as the husband was well inside Little Peter went up to the door and asked if he might have a night’s lodging.

“Yes, to be sure”, said the man, “we’ll take you in”; and so he begged Little Peter to sit down at the table and eat. Yes, Little Peter sat down, and took his calfskin with him, and laid it down at his feet.

So, when they had sat a while, Little Peter began to mutter to his skin:

“What are you saying now? can’t you hold your tongue”, said Little Peter.

“Who is it you’re talking with?” asked the man.

“Oh!” answered Little Peter, “it’s only a spae-maiden whom I’ve got in my calfskin.”

“And pray what does she spae?” asked the man again.

“Why, she says that no one can say there isn’t a bowl of custard standing under the grate”, said Little Peter.

“She may spae as much as she pleases”, answered the man, “but we haven’t had custards in this house for a year and a day.”

But Peter begged him only to look, and he did so; and he found the custard-bowl. So they began to make merry with it, but just as they sat and took their ease, Peter muttered something again to the calfskin.

“Hush!” he said, “can’t you hold your jaw?”

“And pray what does the spae-maiden say now?” asked the man.

“Oh! she says no one can say there isn’t brandy and ale standing just under the trap-door which goes down into the cellar”, answered Peter.

“Well! if she never spaed wrong in her life, she spaes wrong now”, said the man. “Brandy and ale! why, I can’t call to mind the day when we had such things in the house!”

“Just look”, said Peter; and the man did so, and there, sure enough, he found the drink, and you may fancy how merry and jolly he was.

“What did you give for that spae-maiden?” said the man, “for I must have her, whatever you ask for her.”

“She was left me by my father”, said Peter, “and so she didn’t cost me much. To tell you the truth, I’ve no great mind to part with her, but, all the same, you may have her, if you’ll let me have, instead of her, that old chest that stands in the parlour yonder.”

“The chest’s locked and the key lost”, screamed the old dame.

“Then I’ll take it without the key, that I will”, said Peter. And so he and the man soon struck the bargain. Peter got a rope instead of the key, and the man helped him to get the chest up on his back, and then off he stumped with it. So when he had walked a bit he came on to a bridge, and under the bridge ran a river in such a headlong stream; it leapt, and foamed, and made such a roar, that the bridge shook again.

“Ah!” said Peter, “that brandy-that brandy! Now I can feel I’ve had a drop too much. What’s the good of my dragging this chest about? If I hadn’t been drunk and mad, I shouldn’t have gone and swopped away my spae-maiden for it. But now this chest shall go out into the river this very minute.”

And with that he began to untie the rope.