Chapter 9

'"And as to the three women in the kitchen," he said, "those were my own three wives. And when I asked the first wife for my dinner, she gave me nothing but brown bread and a jug of water. And when I asked the second wife for my dinner, she gave me a worse dinner again. But the third wife when I asked her, set out a grand table, and a white cloth on it, and gave me the best of food and drink.

'"And as for yourself," he said, "the reason you were brought here is, that you wouldn't go to your son's funeral, because you had a falling out one day when you were ploughing the field together, but you went to a stranger's funeral. And go back now," he said, "to where your son was buried, and make your repentance there, and maybe you'll get forgiveness at the last. And how long is it since you left your home?" he said. "I left it on the afternoon of yesterday," said the farmer. "It is seven hundred years you are here," said the head. Isn't that a long time he was in it, and he thinking it was only a few hours?

'So he went back to where his own son was buried; and he knelt down there, and made his repentance, and asked forgiveness and his son's forgiveness. And at last a hand came up out of the grave and took his hand; and then he and the son went up to heaven together.'

* * * * *

Another old man says: 'There was a Protestant and a Catholic one time; and the Protestant said if the Catholic would come to his church one Sunday, he'd go to his the next.

'So the Catholic went first to the Protestant church for one day, and it seemed to him as if it was a week he was in it.

'And the next Sunday the Protestant went into the Catholic church; and there he stopped for a year and a day, and he thought it was only a few hours he was in it.

'And at the end of that time he died, and he went up before our Lord. And he had done some things that were not good in his life, and our Lord said: "I will give you as many years of heaven as there are penfuls of water in the sea, and hell at the end of that." "That is not enough of heaven," said the man. Then our Lord said: "I will give you as many years of heaven as there are grains in the sand, and hell after that." "That is not enough of heaven," said the man. Then our Lord said: "I will give you as many years of heaven as there are blades of grass on the earth, and hell after that." "That is not enough of heaven," said the man. "And I will ask you for this," he said; "give me a year of hell for all these things you have spoken of: the drops in the sea, and the blades of grass, and the grains of the sand, and give me heaven in the end."

'And when the Lord heard that, He said, "I will give you heaven first and last."

'That is how the Catholic had him saved.'

* * * * *

Another old man says: 'There was a king one time that had a daughter; and she went out one day in the garden, and there she saw a bird--a jackdaw it was--and she thought it very nice, and she followed it on. And at last it spoke to her, and it said: "Will you give me your promise to marry me at the end of a year and a day?" "I will not," she said; and she went into the house again.

'After that the king's younger daughter went out, and she saw the bird and followed it, and it asked her the same thing. And she gave her promise to marry it at the end of a year and a day.

'And at the end of that time a great coach and horses came up to the door of the king's house; and the jackdaw came in, and he took the edge of the young girl's dress in his beak to draw her out of the house. And she went away in the carriage with him, and they came to a sort of a castle, and went into it. And there was no one in it; but no sooner did they come in, than there was a table set out before them, with every sort of food and drink, and beautiful gold cups and everything grand. And when they had eaten enough, the bird said, "Don't be frightened at anything you may see; and whatever happens, don't say one word; for if you do, you will lose me for ever."

'And then some sort of people came in, and began hitting at the bird and attacking him, and he keeping out of their way. And at last they got to him, and began to knock feathers from him. And when the young girl saw that, she cried out, "Oh, they are destroying you, my poor jackdaw!" "Oh!" he said, "why did you say that? If you had not spoken," he said: "I would be all right; but now I must leave you for ever. And here is a ring I will leave with you," he said: "and whatever desire you have, you will get it when you rub the ring."

'He went away then, and there was no one left in the house but the young girl; and all was darkness around her. And she went up the stairs; and at last she saw a little sign of light through a hole in the roof; and she rubbed the ring, and she said: "I wish that hole to be made bigger." And so it was on the moment, and more light came in.

'And then she wished she could be up on the roof, and so she was. And from the roof she could see the sea, and there was a ship on it in the distance; and she said: "I wish I could be on the deck of that vessel." And there she was on the deck, and the sailors not knowing where did she come from. And she said to the captain: "Can you give me something to eat?" And he said: "That is what I cannot do, for the harness casks are empty, we are so long at sea; and we have not as much meat in them as would go on the point of a knife." So she rubbed the ring then; and there was a table before them, set out with every sort of food and drink, and they all had enough.

'And then they came to a strange country; and she said to the captain to leave her on land. And she went up to a big house, where some great man lived, and she asked for employment as a sewing-maid. And they said: "You may sew one of those dresses that is for the master's daughter that is going to be married to-morrow. And mind you do it well," they said.

'So she brought away the dress to her room, and she wished it to be the best dress, and the best-sewed, that would be seen on the morrow. And when the morrow came, so it was.

'Then she went out into the garden, where there were beautiful flowers and trees; and she fastened a thread of silk from one tree to another, to make a swing-swong, and she began swinging on it. And the young lady that was going to be married, came down the steps into the garden, and she wanted to go on the swing-swong. And the other said she had best not go on it where she was not used to it, and she might get a fall. But she said she would; and the other warned her secondly not to go on it. But up she got, and the thread broke, and she fell and was killed on the spot.

'Then all the people came out; and when they saw her dead, they had a court-martial on the strange girl, and they were going to put her to death; but she told them how it all happened. And when the jury heard it, they said there was no blame on her, where she had given two warnings.

'That's a closure now.'

'And what happened her after that?'

'I don't know what happened her; they let her off that time anyhow.'

'And what became of the bird?'

'How would I know? Didn't I say that's the closure?'

* * * * *

Then a young man said: 'I'll tell you a folk-tale:--

'It was in the good old time when Ireland was paved with penny loaves and the houses thatched with pancakes; and there was a king had a son, and the mother died, and he married another wife; and she had three daughters, and their names were Catherine Snowflake, and Broad Bridget, and Mary Anne Bold-eyes, that had two eyes in the front of her head, and another eye in the back of her poll.

'And the stepmother got to be very wicked to the son then; and she used to be giving everything to the daughters; but he had nothing but hardship, and all they would give him to eat was stirabout.

'He was out on the fields one day with the cattle, and there was a little Black Bull there, and it said to him: "I know the way you are treated," it said, "and the sort of food they are giving you. And unscrew now my left horn," he said, "and take what you will find out of it."

'So the young man unscrewed the left horn; and the first thing he took out was a napkin, and he spread it out on the grass; and then he took out cups and plates, and every sort of food, and he sat down and ate and drank his fill. And then he put back the napkin and all into the horn again, and screwed it on.

'That was going on every day, and he used to be throwing his stirabout away into the ash-bin; and the servants found it, and they told the queen that he was throwing away what they gave him, and getting fat all the same.

'The queen noticed then that he used to be going every day into the field with the cattle; and she bade her daughter, Catherine Snowflake, to go and to watch him there to see what would he be doing.

'But that day when he went up to the little Black Bull, it said: "Your step-sister will be coming to-day to watch you," he said: "and unscrew now my right horn, and take out a pin of slumber you will find under it, and when you see her coming, go and play with her for a bit, and then put the pin of slumber to her ear, and she will fall asleep." So he did as the Bull told him; and when he put the pin of slumber to Catherine Snowflake's ear, she fell into a deep sleep in the grass, and never woke till evening.

'The next day the queen sent Broad Bridget, that was a great big woman, to watch the step-brother; but the Bull warned him as before; and he put the pin of slumber to her ear, and she fell into a deep sleep, and saw nothing.

'The third day Mary Anne Bold-eyes was sent out, and the brother put her to sleep the same as he did the others. But if the two front eyes were shut, the eye at the back of her poll was open; and she saw all that happened, and she went back that evening and told her mother the way her step-brother got all he would want out of the Bull's horn.

'The queen sent out then and gathered all her fighting men together to kill the Bull. And they all surrounded the field where the Bull was; but there were two or three hundred more cattle in it; and the Bull was running here and there between them, the way they could not get near him. And at the end of the second day he made for a gap and broke through it, and came to where the queen was, and he took her on his horns and tossed her as high as her own castle. He called to Jack then; and Jack put a halter on him, and they rode away together where winds never blew and the cocks never crew, and the old boy himself never sounded his horn. And they overtook the wind that was before them, and the wind that was after them couldn't overtake them.

'They came then to a great wood, and the Black Bull said to Jack: "Get up, now, into the highest tree you can find, and stop there through the day, for I have to fight with the Red Bull that is coming against me. And unscrew my right horn," he said; "and take out the little bottle that is in it, and keep it with you; and if I am well at the end of the day," he said, "it will be white as it is now."

'The Red Bull came to meet him then, and his head was as big as another's body would be; and he and the little Black Bull went to fight together; and Jack stopped up in the tree.

'And in the evening he looked at the little bottle; and what was in it was as white as before. So he came down, and he found the Black Bull, and got up on his back again; and they went off the same as before.

'They came then to the wood where the White Bull was, and he came out to fight the Black; and all happened the same as the first day.

'And Jack came down from his tree and got on his back again; and they went on to another wood. And the Green Bull came to meet him this time; and Jack went up in a tree. And at evening he looked at the little bottle, and it was red up to the cork.

'He got down then, and went to look for the little Black Bull, and he found him lying on the ground at the point of death; and the Green Bull gave a great bellow, and made away and left him there.

'And the Black Bull said: "I am going from you now, Jack; but I won't go without leaving you something," he said. "When I am dead, cut three strips of hide off me from the nape of the neck to the root of the tail, and put them about your body; and they'll give you the strength of six hundred men."'

Jack had many adventures after this; he killed three giants, rescued a princess from a dragon, and married her. These were told with dramatic effect; and the other men, young and old, who had gathered round the teller, cried out at each new splendid adventure: 'Good boy, Peter; that's it; bring it out.' And the last words, telling how Jack and his Princess 'put on the kettle and made the tea,' were drowned in applause and laughter, and clapping of hands.

But I had already heard that part of the story, in almost the same words, in Gort Workhouse; and had given it to Mr. Yeats for his 'Celtic Twilight,' so I need not put it down here.

* * * * *

Then an old man said: 'There was a young man one time was out hunting; and as he was going home, he heard the cry of a child beside a sand-pit. And he got off his horse to look what was it; and it was a young little child was there, a girl. And he took her up on the horse and wrapped her up, and brought her home to his mother. And they reared her up, and she grew to be a beautiful young girl; and the young man thought the world and all of her.

'But he got some sickness and died. And the mother was fretting for him always; and she shut up his room and locked it, that no one could go in. And she did not like to be looking at the young girl, because of the son being so fond of her; and she looked for a way to get rid of her.

'So she sent her out on a message into a wood that had wild beasts in it, and she thought they would make an end of her. And the girl went astray there, and lay down and slept for the night. And the beasts came and lay down beside her, and did her no harm at all. And there she was found in the morning, asleep among them.

'Then the mother thought of another way to get rid of her; and she bade her to go to the son's grave and to spend the night there. So she went as she was told; and she was crying on the grass. And then the young man came up out of it, and it is what he said: "My mother thought I would harm you if you came here, but I will not harm you; I will help you. And take these three gray hairs from my head," he said, "and bring them back with you. And for every one of them my mother will have to grant you a request. And it is what you will ask her, to open my room that she has locked up for a day and a night. And at the end of a year, you will ask the same thing of her, and again at the end of another year."

'So the girl went back, and she asked to have the door opened, and she went in and stopped there for a day and a night. And at the end of the year she did the same, and again at the end of the third year.

'And after a while the mother said one day: "I wonder what she wanted in that room, and what she was doing in it." And she opened the door, and there she saw a fire on the hearth, and the girl sitting one side of it, and a child in her lap, and the son sitting the other side, and two children in his lap. For she had brought him back from the grave.

'And the son said: "What is wanting to me now is someone that will go and spend seven years in hell for my sake, to save my soul." "I will do that for you," said the mother. "It would be no use you going," he said. "I will do it," said the girl.

'So he said she might go; and he gave a spoon that would give her drink, and a ring that would give her food, so long as she would keep them.

'So she went down to hell, and she stopped there seven years; and through all that time she got no rest, only on Sundays.

'And at the end of the seven years, she was going out, and she heard a voice saying: "Will you stop another seven years to save your father's soul?" "I will do that," she said. "Do not," they said; "for your father gave you no care, and did nothing for you." "No matter," she said; "I will give another seven years to save his soul."

'And at the end of the second seven years she was going out; and her mother, that had done nothing for her, asked her to stop another seven years for her soul; and she did that. And at the end of the twenty-one years, they gave her the three souls in a napkin, and she went out.

'And as she was going home, she met with an old man, and he said: "Give me what you have there." "Who are you?" "I am Almighty God," he said. "I will not give them to you," said the girl. And after a little time she met with another old man, and he said: "Give me what you have there." "Who are you?" she said. "I am Jesus Christ." "I will not give them to you;" and she went on. Then the third time she met with an old man, and he asked for what she had in the napkin. "Who are you?" she asked. "I am the King of Sunday." "Then I will give them to you," she said; "for in all the twenty-one years I went through, I got no rest at all but on the Sunday."

'She went home then; and at first they didn't know her, where she was so long away; and when the children came down to see her in the kitchen, they didn't know her.

'But when the man of the house knew she was in it, he went down and gave her a great welcome back to himself and the children again.'

* * * * *

Then another old man said: 'There was a king that used to make rules and to break rules, and that was very cunning; and he wanted to get a good wife for his son. So he sent him out one day to look for a girl that he would fancy, and he brought one in. And the old king showed her a whole lot of gold and of treasures; and he said: "What would you do if all this was yours?" "I would sit down and do nothing else but enjoy it," she said.

'So the king said to his son that she wouldn't suit, and that he should go look for another girl, rich or poor. So he brought in a poor girl; and the king showed her the treasure, and he said: "What would you do if all this belonged to you?" And she said: "Whenever I would take a sovereign out of it, I would try to put back two."

'So he said she would do, and that the son might marry her. But the girl said: "I will be well treated while you are in it; but some day you might be gone, and my husband mightn't treat me so well. And make him give me his promise now," she said, "that if ever he turns me out of the house, I may bring three ass-loads of whatever I myself will choose along with me." So he gave her his promise she might do that.

'Then the old king died; and the young one was, like himself, a law-maker and a law-breaker. And he thought a great deal of his own wisdom, and of the judgments he would give.

'Now, at that time there was a man had a mare that had a foal in a field; and in the field next it there was an old _garran_; and there was a little stream that made the mering between the two fields. And the foal took a habit of crossing over the stream to the other field where the _garran_ was; and it got to be so friendly with him, and so fond of him, that at last it was hardly it would come back at all. And the man the other field belonged to laid a claim to it, where it was always in his ground.

'So the case was brought before the king; and he thought a long time, and at last he said to put the foal in a house that had two doors, one on each side, and to put the _garran_ outside one door and the mare outside the other, and to see which would the foal follow. And they did that, and the foal followed the _garran_, and it was given to the owner.

'And the man it was taken from was vexed; and he went to the queen, and he told the injustice that was done to him. And she bade him to get a fishing-rod, and to go fishing in the river; and when the king would go by, to turn and to be fishing on the dry land.

'So he did that; and when the king was coming by, he turned and began fishing on the dry land. And the king stopped and asked why was he doing that. And the answer he gave was: "I think it no more foolish to be fishing on dry land than to believe that a foal would belong to a _garran_."

'When the king heard that, he guessed it was his own wife had given the answer to the man; and he went back and asked was it true she had put the man up to do what he had done. "It is true," she said. "Then you may clear out of this," he said, "and go back to your own place; for I won't keep a wife in the house that will be upsetting my judgments." "I must go if you bid me to," she said; "but do you remember your promise to me, to bring away three ass-loads with me of whatever I would choose?" "You may do that," he said. So she got the three asses, and on the first she put her clothes and some money. And on the second she put her two children. And then she came back to her husband and stooped down before him. "Get up on my back," she said, "till I put you on the ass, for it is yourself I choose to bring along with me for my third load. So long as I have you and the children with me, what do I care where I go?" "If that is so," said the king, "you may as well bring in your things again and stop with me. And I will never drive you away again," he said.'

* * * * *

Another man said: 'There was a man in Ballinasloe Asylum that was not very mad--just a little mad--and he used to be raking about the gate. And there was a clock over the gate; and one day the doctor was going out, and he took his watch out and looked up, and he said to himself, "That clock is not right." "If it was right, it wouldn't be in here," said the man that was raking.'

* * * * *

'I have a sorrowful story,' says another man. 'I am blind, and I hurt my hip. And I have a brother fighting for the Queen and for the King, and a son fighting against the Boers, and neither of them ever sent me anything.' (But this was received without much sympathy, and with what I imagine to represent derisive cheers.)

* * * * *

A very wild-looking man told 'on behalf of a poor man inside'--to get him a bit of tobacco--a long story about a farmer who worked hard himself, to give his sons time for schooling.

'One of them made money in the West Indies by teaching, and he came back; and his mother was in the house, and she didn't know him; and he asked might he stop the night. "Indeed, I can't give you leave to do that," she said; "for a travelling man stopped for a night not long ago; and when he went away in the morning, he brought with him the flannel bawneen and the pants of the man of the house, that were hanging on the hedge to dry. But stop here for a while," she said, "and rest yourself."

'Presently the father came in, and didn't know him; and when he heard what the wife had said, he was vexed, and said: "A thousand men might come the road, and not one of them do what that travelling man did. And I am sorry, sir," he said, "that my wife gave you such a reason."

'Then the potatoes were ready, and they were put on a skip for the dinner; and they asked the gentleman to help himself; and they gave him a knife but it had but half a blade; and they said they were sorry to have no better a one to give him. But he peeled his potatoes with that.

'And then some one came in and asked would the young people come in and join a dance, for there was a piper in the next house. And the stranger asked to go with them. But at every dance-house there is a blackguard, and there was one there; and he began to mock at the strange gentleman. And one of his brothers that didn't know he was his brother, said to the blackguard: "It's a very mean thing of you to mock at a stranger." But he went on doing it.