Chapter 5

"Year," I said, "thou shalt not lack Bribes to bar thy coming back; Doth old Egypt wear her best In the chambers of her rest? Doth she take to her last bed Beaten gold, and glorious red? Envy not! for thou wilt wear In the dark a shroud as fair; Golden with the sunny ray Thou withdrawest from my day; Wrought upon with colors fine, Stolen from this life of mine; Like the dusty Lybian kings, Lie with two wide open wings On thy breast, as if to say, On these wings hope flew away; And so housed, and thus adorned, Not forgotten, but not scorned, Let the dark for evermore Close thee when I close the door; And the dust for ages fall In the creases of thy pall; And no voice nor visit rude Break thy sealèd solitude."

I took the year out of my life and story, The dead year, and said, "I have hewed thee a tomb 'All the kings of the nations lie in glory,' Cased in cedar, and shut in a sacred gloom; But for the sword, and the sceptre, and diadem, Sure thou didst reign like them." So I laid her with those tyrants old and hoary, According to my vow; For I said, "The kings of the nations lie in glory, And so shalt thou!"

"Rock," I said, "thy ribs are strong. That I bring thee guard it long; Hide the light from buried eyes-- Hide it, lest the dead arise." "Year," I said, and turned away, "I am free of thee this day; All that we two only know, I forgive and I forego, So thy face no more I meet, In the field or in the street."

Thus we parted, she and I; Life hid death, and put it by: Life hid death, and said, "Be free I have no more need of thee." No more need! O mad mistake, With repentance in its wake! Ignorant, and rash, and blind, Life had left the grave behind; But had locked within its hold With the spices and the gold, All she had to keep her warm In the raging of the storm.

Scarce the sunset bloom was gone, And the little stars outshone, Ere the dead year, stiff and stark, Drew me to her in the dark; Death drew life to come to her, Beating at her sepulchre, Crying out, "How can I part With the best share of my heart? Lo, it lies upon the bier, Captive, with the buried year. O my heart!" And I fell prone, Weeping at the sealèd stone; "Year among the shades," I said, "Since I live, and thou art dead, Let my captive heart be free, Like a bird to fly to me." And I stayed some voice to win, But none answered from within; And I kissed the door--and night Deepened till the stars waxed bright And I saw them set and wane, And the world turn green again.

"So," I whispered, "open door, I must tread this palace floor-- Sealèd palace, rich and dim. Let a narrow sunbeam swim After me, and on me spread While I look upon my dead; Let a little warmth be free To come after; let me see Through the doorway, when I sit Looking out, the swallows flit, Settling not till daylight goes; Let me smell the wild white rose, Smell the woodbine and the may; Mark, upon a sunny day, Sated from their blossoms rise, Honey-bees and butterflies. Let me hear, O! let me hear, Sitting by my buried year, Finches chirping to their young, And the little noises flung Out of clefts where rabbits play, Or from falling water-spray; And the gracious echoes woke By man's work: the woodman's stroke, Shout of shepherd, whistlings blithe. And the whetting of the scythe; Let this be, lest shut and furled From the well-beloved world, I forget her yearnings old, And her troubles manifold, Strivings sore, submissions meet, And my pulse no longer beat, Keeping time and bearing part With the pulse of her great heart.

"So; swing open door, and shade Take me; I am not afraid, For the time will not be long; Soon I shall have waxen strong-- Strong enough my own to win From the grave it lies within." And I entered. On her bier Quiet lay the buried year; I sat down where I could see Life without and sunshine free, Death within. And I between, Waited my own heart to wean From the shroud that shaded her In the rock-hewn sepulchre-- Waited till the dead should say, "Heart, be free of me this day"-- Waited with a patient will-- AND I WAIT BETWEEN THEM STILL.

I take the year back to my life and story, The dead year, and say, "I will share in thy tomb. 'All the kings of the nations lie in glory;' Cased in cedar, and shut in a sacred gloom! They reigned in their lifetime with sceptre and diadem, But thou excellest them; For life doth make thy grave her oratory, And the crown is still on thy brow; 'All the kings of the nations lie in glory,' And so dost thou."

REFLECTIONS.

LOOKING OVER A GATE AT A POOL IN A FIELD.

What change has made the pastures sweet And reached the daisies at my feet, And cloud that wears a golden hem? This lovely world, the hills, the sward-- They all look fresh, as if our Lord But yesterday had finished them.

And here's the field with light aglow; How fresh its boundary lime-trees show, And how its wet leaves trembling shine! Between their trunks come through to me The morning sparkles of the sea Below the level browsing line

I see the pool more clear by half Than pools where other waters laugh Up at the breasts of coot and rail. There, as she passed it on her way, I saw reflected yesterday A maiden with a milking-pail.

There, neither slowly nor in haste, One hand upon her slender waist, The other lifted to her pail, She, rosy in the morning light, Among the water-daisies white, Like some fair sloop appeared to sail.

Against her ankles as she trod The lucky buttercups did nod. I leaned upon the gate to see: The sweet thing looked, but did not speak; A dimple came in either cheek, And all my heart was gone from me.

Then, as I lingered on the gate, And she came up like coming fate, I saw my picture in her eyes-- Clear dancing eyes, more black than sloes, Cheeks like the mountain pink, that grows Among white-headed majesties.

I said, "A tale was made of old That I would fain to thee unfold; Ah! let me--let me tell the tale." But high she held her comely head; "I cannot heed it now," she said, "For carrying of the milking-pail."

She laughed. What good to make ado? I held the gate, and she came through, And took her homeward path anon. From the clear pool her face had fled; It rested on my heart instead, Reflected when the maid was gone.

With happy youth, and work content, So sweet and stately on she went, Right careless of the untold tale. Each step she took I loved her more, And followed to her dairy door The maiden with the milking-pail.

II.

For hearts where wakened love doth lurk, How fine, how blest a thing is work! For work does good when reasons fail-- Good; yet the axe at every stroke The echo of a name awoke-- Her name is Mary Martindale.

I'm glad that echo was not heard Aright by other men: a bird Knows doubtless what his own notes tell; And I know not, but I can say I felt as shame-faced all that day As if folks heard her name right well.

And when the west began to glow I went--I could not choose but go-- To that same dairy on the hill; And while sweet Mary moved about Within, I came to her without. And leaned upon the window-sill.

The garden border where I stood Was sweet with pinks and southernwood. I spoke--her answer seemed to fail: I smelt the pinks--I could not see; The dusk came down and sheltered me, And in the dusk she heard my tale.

And what is left that I should tell? I begged a kiss, I pleaded well: The rosebud lips did long decline; But yet I think, I think 'tis true, That, leaned at last into the dew, One little instant they were mine.

O life! how dear thou hast become: She laughed at dawn and I was dumb, But evening counsels best prevail. Fair shine the blue that o'er her spreads, Green be the pastures where she treads, The maiden with the milking-pail!

THE LETTER L.

ABSENT.

We sat on grassy slopes that meet With sudden dip the level strand; The trees hung overhead--our feet Were on the sand.

Two silent girls, a thoughtful man, We sunned ourselves in open light, And felt such April airs as fan The Isle of Wight;

And smelt the wall-flower in the crag Whereon that dainty waft had fed, Which made the bell-hung cowslip wag Her delicate head;

And let alighting jackdaws fleet Adown it open-winged, and pass Till they could touch with outstretched feet The warmèd grass.

The happy wave ran up and rang Like service bells a long way off, And down a little freshet sprang From mossy trough,

And splashed into a rain of spray, And fretted on with daylight's loss, Because so many bluebells lay Leaning across.

Blue martins gossiped in the sun, And pairs of chattering daws flew by, And sailing brigs rocked softly on In company.

Wild cherry-boughs above us spread, The whitest shade was ever seen, And flicker, flicker, came and fled Sun spots between.

Bees murmured in the milk-white bloom, As babes will sigh for deep content When their sweet hearts for peace make room, As given, not lent.

And we saw on: we said no word, And one was lost in musings rare, One buoyant as the waft that stirred Her shining hair.

His eyes were bent upon the sand, Unfathomed deeps within them lay. A slender rod was in his hand-- A hazel spray.

Her eyes were resting on his face, As shyly glad, by stealth to glean Impressions of his manly grace And guarded mien;

The mouth with steady sweetness set, And eyes conveying unaware The distant hint of some regret That harbored there.

She gazed, and in the tender flush That made her face like roses blown, And in the radiance and the hush, Her thought was shown.

It was a happy thing to sit So near, nor mar his reverie; She looked not for a part in it, So meek was she.

But it was solace for her eyes, And for her heart, that yearned to him, To watch apart in loving wise Those musings dim.

Lost--lost, and gone! The Pelham woods Were full of doves that cooed at ease; The orchis filled her purple hoods For dainty bees.

He heard not; all the delicate air Was fresh with falling water-spray: It mattered not--he was not there, But far away.

Till with the hazel in his hand, Still drowned in thought it thus befell; He drew a letter on the sand-- The letter L.

And looking on it, straight there wrought A ruddy flush about his brow; His letter woke him: absent thought Rushed homeward now.

And half-abashed, his hasty touch Effaced it with a tell-tale care, As if his action had been much, And not his air.

And she? she watched his open palm Smooth out the letter from the sand, And rose, with aspect almost calm, And filled her hand

With cherry-bloom, and moved away To gather wild forget-me-not, And let her errant footsteps stray To one sweet spot,

As if she coveted the fair White lining of the silver-weed, And cuckoo-pint that shaded there Empurpled seed.

She had not feared, as I divine, Because she had not hoped. Alas! The sorrow of it! for that sign Came but to pass;

And yet it robbed her of the right To give, who looked not to receive, And made her blush in love's despite That she should grieve.

A shape in white, she turned to gaze; Her eyes were shaded with her hand, And half-way up the winding ways We saw her stand.

Green hollows of the fringèd cliff, Red rocks that under waters show, Blue reaches, and a sailing skiff, Were spread below.

She stood to gaze, perhaps to sigh, Perhaps to think; but who can tell How heavy on her heart must lie The letter L!

* * * * *

She came anon with quiet grace; And "What," she murmured, "silent yet!" He answered, "'Tis a haunted place, And spell-beset.

"O speak to us, and break the spell!" "The spell is broken," she replied. "I crossed the running brook, it fell, It could not bide.

"And I have brought a budding world, Of orchis spires and daisies rank, And ferny plumes but half uncurled, From yonder bank;

"And I shall weave of them a crown, And at the well-head launch it free, That so the brook may float it down, And out to sea.

"There may it to some English hands From fairy meadow seem to come; The fairyest of fairy lands-- The land of home."

"Weave on," he said, and as she wove We told how currents in the deep, With branches from a lemon grove, Blue bergs will sweep.

And messages from shipwrecked folk Will navigate the moon-led main, And painted boards of splintered oak Their port regain.

Then floated out by vagrant thought, My soul beheld on torrid sand The wasteful water set at nought Man's skilful hand,

And suck out gold-dust from the box, And wash it down in weedy whirls, And split the wine-keg on the rocks, And lose the pearls.

"Ah! why to that which needs it not," Methought, "should costly things be given? How much is wasted, wrecked, forgot, On this side heaven!"

So musing, did mine ears awake To maiden tones of sweet reserve, And manly speech that seemed to make The steady curve

Of lips that uttered it defer Their guard, and soften for the thought: She listened, and his talk with her Was fancy fraught.

"There is not much in liberty"-- With doubtful pauses he began; And said to her and said to me, "There was a man--

"There was a man who dreamed one night That his dead father came to him; And said, when fire was low, and light Was burning dim--

"'Why vagrant thus, my sometime pride, Unloved, unloving, wilt thou roam? Sure home is best!' The son replied, 'I have no home.'

"'Shall not I speak?' his father said, 'Who early chose a youthful wife, And worked for her, and with her led My happy life.

"'Ay, I will speak, for I was young As thou art now, when I did hold The prattling sweetness of thy tongue Dearer than gold;

"'And rosy from thy noonday sleep Would bear thee to admiring kin, And all thy pretty looks would keep My heart within.

"'Then after, mid thy young allies-- For thee ambition flushed my brow-- I coveted the school-boy prize Far more than thou.

"'I thought for thee, I thought for all My gamesome imps that round me grew; The dews of blessing heaviest fall Where care falls too.

"'And I that sent my boys away, In youthful strength to earn their bread, And died before the hair was gray Upon my head--

"'I say to thee, though free from care, A lonely lot, an aimless life, The crowning comfort is not there-- Son, take a wife.'

"'Father beloved,' the son replied, And failed to gather to his breast, With arms in darkness searching wide, The formless guest.

"'I am but free, as sorrow is, To dry her tears, to laugh, to talk; And free, as sick men are, I wis To rise and walk.

"'And free, as poor men are, to buy If they have nought wherewith to pay; Nor hope, the debt before they die, To wipe away.

"'What 'vails it there are wives to win, And faithful hearts for those to yearn, Who find not aught thereto akin To make return?

"'Shall he take much who little gives, And dwells in spirit far away, When she that in his presence lives Doth never stray,

"But waking, guideth as beseems The happy house in order trim, And tends her babes; and sleeping, dreams Of them and him?

"'O base, O cold,'"--while thus he spake The dream broke off, the vision fled; He carried on his speech awake And sighing said--

"'I had--ah happy man!--I had A precious jewel in my breast, And while I kept it I was glad At work, at rest!

"'Call it a heart, and call it strong As upward stroke of eagle's wing; Then call it weak, you shall not wrong The beating thing.

"'In tangles of the jungle reed, Whose heats are lit with tiger eyes, In shipwreck drifting with the weed 'Neath rainy skies,

"'Still youthful manhood, fresh and keen, At danger gazed with awed delight As if sea would not drown, I ween, Nor serpent bite.

"'I had--ah happy! but 'tis gone, The priceless jewel; one came by, And saw and stood awhile to con With curious eye,

"'And wished for it, and faintly smiled From under lashes black as doom, With subtle sweetness, tender, mild, That did illume

"'The perfect face, and shed on it A charm, half feeling, half surprise, And brim with dreams the exquisite Brown blessèd eyes.

"'Was it for this, no more but this, I took and laid it in her hand, By dimples ruled, to hint submiss, By frown unmanned?

"'It was for this--and O farewell The fearless foot, the present mind, And steady will to breast the swell And face the wind!

"'I gave the jewel from my breast, She played with it a little while As I sailed down into the west, Fed by her smile;

"'Then weary of it--far from land, With sigh as deep as destiny, She let it drop from her fair hand Into the sea,

"'And watched it sink; and I--and I,-- What shall I do, for all is vain? No wave will bring, no gold will buy, No toil attain;

"'Nor any diver reach to raise My jewel from the blue abyss; Or could they, still I should but praise Their work amiss.

"'Thrown, thrown away! But I love yet The fair, fair hand which did the deed: That wayward sweetness to forget Were bitter meed.

"'No, let it lie, and let the wave Roll over it for evermore; Whelmed where the sailor hath his grave-- The sea her store.

"'My heart, my sometime happy heart! And O for once let me complain, I must forego life's better part-- Man's dearer gain.

"'I worked afar that I might rear A peaceful home on English soil; I labored for the gold and gear-- I loved my toil.

"'Forever in my spirit spake The natural whisper, "Well 'twill be When loving wife and children break Their bread with thee!"

"'The gathered gold is turned to dross, The wife hath faded into air, My heart is thrown away, my loss I cannot spare.

"'Not spare unsated thought her food-- No, not one rustle of the fold, Nor scent of eastern sandal-wood, Nor gleam of gold;

"'Nor quaint devices of the shawl, Far less the drooping lashes meek; The gracious figure, lithe and tall, The dimpled cheek;

"'And all the wonders of her eyes, And sweet caprices of her air, Albeit, indignant reason cries, Fool! have a care.

"'Fool! join not madness to mistake; Thou knowest she loved thee not a whit; Only that she thy heart might break-- She wanted it,

"'Only the conquered thing to chain So fast that none might set it free, Nor other woman there might reign And comfort thee.

"'Robbed, robbed of life's illusions sweet; Love dead outside her closèd door, And passion fainting at her feet To wake no more;

"'What canst thou give that unknown bride Whom thou didst work for in the waste, Ere fated love was born, and cried-- Was dead, ungraced?

"'No more but this, the partial care, The natural kindness for its own, The trust that waxeth unaware, As worth is known:

"'Observance, and complacent thought Indulgent, and the honor due That many another man has brought Who brought love too.

"'Nay, then, forbid it Heaven!' he said, 'The saintly vision fades from me; O bands and chains! I cannot wed-- I am not free.'"

With that he raised his face to view; "What think you," asking, "of my tale? And was he right to let the dew Of morn exhale,

"And burdened in the noontide sun, The grateful shade of home forego-- Could he be right--I ask as one Who fain would know?"

He spoke to her and spoke to me; The rebel rose-hue dyed her cheek; The woven crown lay on her knee; She would not speak.

And I with doubtful pause--averse To let occasion drift away-- I answered--"If his case were worse Than word can say,

"Time is a healer of sick hearts, And women have been known to choose, With purpose to allay their smarts, And tend their bruise,

"These for themselves. Content to give, In their own lavish love complete, Taking for sole prerogative Their tendance sweet.

"Such meeting in their diadem Of crowning love's ethereal fire, Himself he robs who robbeth them Of their desire.

"Therefore the man who, dreaming, cried Against his lot that even-song, I judge him honest, and decide That he was wrong."

"When I am judged, ah may my fate," He whispered, "in thy code be read! Be thou both judge and advocate." Then turned, he said--

"Fair weaver!" touching, while he spoke, The woven crown, the weaving hand, "And do you this decree revoke, Or may it stand?

"This friend, you ever think her right-- She is not wrong, then?" Soft and low The little trembling word took flight: She answered, "No."

PRESENT.

A meadow where the grass was deep, Rich, square, and golden to the view, A belt of elms with level sweep About it grew.

The sun beat down on it, the line Of shade was clear beneath the trees; There, by a clustering eglantine, We sat at ease.

And O the buttercups! that field O' the cloth of gold, where pennons swam-- Where France set up his lilied shield, His oriflamb,

And Henry's lion-standard rolled: What was it to their matchless sheen, Their million million drops of gold Among the green!

We sat at ease in peaceful trust, For he had written, "Let us meet; My wife grew tired of smoke and dust, And London heat,

"And I have found a quiet grange, Set back in meadows sloping west, And there our little ones can range And she can rest.

"Come down, that we may show the view, And she may hear your voice again, And talk her woman's talk with you Along the lane."

Since he had drawn with listless hand The letter, six long years had fled, And winds had blown about the sand, And they were wed.

Two rosy urchins near him played, Or watched, entranced, the shapely ships That with his knife for them he made Of elder slips.

And where the flowers were thickest shed, Each blossom like a burnished gem, A creeping baby reared its head, And cooed at them.

And calm was on the father's face, And love was in the mother's eyes; She looked and listened from her place, In tender wise.

She did not need to raise her voice That they might hear, she sat so nigh; Yet we could speak when 'twas our choice, And soft reply.

Holding our quiet talk apart Of household things; till, all unsealed, The guarded outworks of the heart Began to yield;

And much that prudence will not dip The pen to fix and send away, Passed safely over from the lip That summer day.

"I should be happy," with a look Towards her husband where he lay, Lost in the pages of his book, Soft did she say.

"I am, and yet no lot below For one whole day eludeth care; To marriage all the stories flow, And finish there:

"As if with marriage came the end, The entrance into settled rest, The calm to which love's tossings tend, The quiet breast.

"For me love played the low preludes, Yet life began but with the ring, Such infinite solicitudes Around it cling.