CHAPTER V.

PETER ROWE’S PROHIBITION SPEECH

The audience at the meeting of the telegraph people assembled in session at the Pleiades Club on the planet Mars to listen to remarks from Peter A. Rowe and others, were quite on the _qui vive_ in anticipation of something out of the ordinary and they were certainly well rewarded for their patient waiting.

Mr. Al Baker, who was presiding, introduced the speaker of the day, for “there is no night” on the planet Mars, and Mr. Rowe was well received.

“I have been asked to relate my experience out in the West, but I think that I would prefer to say something upon a subject nearer my heart,” Mr. Rowe began.

“I did go it some while on earth and were I inclined to be remorseful, I would be very unhappy indeed, but up here in the second heaven we have all learned that remorse is as much to be dreaded as is hate, malice, envy, revenge and a hundred more kindred vices.

“Every sin is forgiven as we turn from it and now I have nothing to regret for any shortcomings that I may have had while on Earth.

“To get back to my topic. I notice on the bulletin board that there is a connection between this mile post on our heavenly flight and my former friends on Earth and I would like to have your secretary quote my remarks for the benefit of those who are still tempted in the manner I was, while on Earth.

“I am rejoiced to know that the South has gone dry, and I am thankful, too, that the West is following in the same line, and were I again a legislator from Cook County, Ill., I would preach from the house-top and from the hill-top, the great good of national prohibition and I would not cease a moment till I made Chicago a ‘dry’ city. I feel that I would have the hearty thanks of the telegraph and railroad companies and also of all the telegraph employes once the bill became a law and all were inured to it.

“Our people on Mars are true blue and there is no insincerity to be found in our ranks. We have all been purged of that and we all feel the better for it.”

* * * * *

Mr. Rowe continued in his happy vein to relate his experiences while he was manager at Elko, Nev., when that office was a repeating point, his remarks evoking many merry rounds of applause.

He was very much in earnest in his statements on prohibition and his listeners were greatly interested, Mr. Fred Moxon taking the notes down in shorthand for the benefit of his earthly friends.

The band played, “Father, dear father, coom heim with me now,” and a bright little star was placed in Mr. Rowe’s crown, Mike Burke all the time whistling enquiringly, “Will there be any stars in my crown?”

“While you are on the subject of ‘lifting’ the craft, I wish some one of our gifted speakers would say a few words upon the ‘Telegraph and Telephone Life Insurance Association.’

“I notice the sentiment on the subject is general,” said Chairman Baker, “and that it is highly approved of by all of our friends assembled. Much good work along these lines is at present being done in the Chicago office, which I am proud to say never takes a back seat from any place when it comes to doing things right. The present Chicago agent for the Telegraph and Telephone Life Insurance Association, Mr. Edward F. Hatch, has many applications to his ‘wampum belt,’ as Hawkeye Bill would put it, and this same spirit should be more manifest all over the country. Just see what immeasurable good the association does.”

“All these remarks are well timed and I agree with the speakers, but let us have a little fun now. Can’t Sam Bracken get out his stalwart nine from the Chicago 1883 bunch and play W. H. Cummings of St. Louis a game of base ball?” Thus spoke Fred Catlin and many left the club room to witness the game, which was played with much spirit, Chicago, of course, winning with a decisive score.

It was pleasant to note the absolute democracy of feeling pervading the denizens of Mars; there was no feeling of seeming superiority displayed by any one person over another; all were equal and on the same level and plane. Former superintendents were pleased to hob-nob with their linemen and chiefs and operators linked arms like brothers and all differences and distinctions were wiped out forever.

Is it not too bad that such a feeling is impossible, or seems to be so, on Earth at the present time?

Conversation, visiting and “get acquainted” knots of telegraph men and women now ensued and it was good to notice the many familiar faces of those who came loitering along to take part in the happy meeting.

There was Emil Shape, so well known a few years ago in Milwaukee; George Brigham, from Toledo; John W. Moreland, from San Francisco; Commodore Haines, from Los Angeles; John Henderson, from Portland; John and William Grier, from Salt Lake; ex-manager Snider, from Cheyenne; Frank B. Knight, from Omaha; James Swan, from Minneapolis, and many others.

John Henderson, who was acquainted while on Earth with all of these gentlemen, was kept busy in introducing one to the other, his introduction being accompanied by a humorous sally. Mr. Henderson was in a very pleasant spirit and greeted the Grier brothers most affectionately, calling upon Tom Kehoe, Joe Hurley, Mike Burke, Mike Conway and W. B. Hibbard to come and take a seat close by where they could all talk uninterruptedly.

Oh yes, here is Joe Sears; the last time I saw him he was in Pioche, Nev., and here is George Millar from Austin, and James Farrell, from Carson, and Tom Booth and “Graphy” from Virginia City.

And now that we are all gathered together and have all the time that there is and we have no work to do at the office, we will enjoy ourselves to the utmost by relating our experiences for the benefit of those who are left behind, knowing that all of our remarks will be carefully chronicled in the Telegraph and Telephone Age through its special correspondent on the planet Mars, Fred B. Moxon.

Then followed a series of story telling, of experiences, humorous and pathetic.

The news had been received of the generous Christmas present given to all employes by the Western Union Telegraph Company, which fact occasioned many pleasant remarks from its former operators, accompanied also by a doleful remonstrance from the former stockholders of the company, who could not understand the occasion of this uncalled for extravagance.

A committee composed of Frank Jaynes, William B. Hibbard, Colonel J. J. Dickey and E. P. Wright, framed resolutions of appreciation to be transmitted to the president of the Western Union Telegraph Company, Newcomb Carlton, indicating the feeling existing among the former co-laborers now on the planet Mars toward that company.

The meeting is still in session.