Part 26

Oho! my good Signior Don _John_, you are mistaken in your Man; I am your humble Valet, 'tis true, and I am to obey you; but when you have got the Devil in your Body, and are upon your Rantipole Adventures, you shall _Quixote_ it by yourself, for _Lopez_. Yonder he is, waiting for poor _Guzman_, with a Sword of a Fathom and a Half; a Dagger for close engagement; and (if I don't mistake) a Pocket-pistol for extraordinary Occasions. I think I am not in the wrong to keep a little out of the Way: These Matters will end in a Court of Justice, or I'm wrong in my Foresight: Now that being a Place where I am pretty well known, and not over-much reputed, I believe 'tis best, neither to come in for Prisoner nor Evidence. But hold; yonder comes another _Toledo_! Don _Guzman_ I presume, but I presume wrong, it is--who is it? Don _Pedro_, by all the Powers! What the Pox does he here, or what the Pox do I here? I'm sure as Matters stand, I ought to fly him like a Creditor; but he sees me, 'tis too late to slip him.

_Enter Don ~Pedro~._

Don _Ped._ How now, _Lopez_; where are you going?

_Lop._ I'm going, Sir, I----I'm going--if you please----I'm going about my Business.

Don _Ped._ From whence do you come?

_Lop._ Only, only, Sir, from--taking the Air a little, I'm mightily muddled with a Whur----round about in my Head, for this Day or two; I'm going home to be let Blood, as fast as I can, Sir.

Don _Ped._ Hold, Sir; I'll let you Blood here.

This Rascal may have borne some Part in this late Adventure: He's a Coward; I'll try to frighten it out of him.

[_Seizing him by the Collar, and drawing his Poniard._

You Traitor, you, y' are dead.

_Lop._ Mercy, Don _Pedro_!

Don _Ped._ Are you not a Villain?

[_~Lop.~ kneeling._

_Lop._ Yes; if you please.

Don _Ped._ Is there so great a one upon Earth?

_Lop._ With respect to my Master----No.

Don _Ped._ Prepare then to die!

_Lop._ Give me but Time, and I will. But, noble Don _Pedro_, just Don _Pedro_, generous Don _Pedro_, what is it I have done?

Don _Ped._ What, if thou dar'st deny, I'll plunge this Dagger deep into thy Throat, and drive the Falsehood to thy Heart again. Therefore, take heed, and on thy Life declare, didst thou not this last night open my Doors to let Don _Guzman_ in?

_Lop._ Don _Guzman_!

Don _Ped._ Don _Guzman_! Yes, Don _Guzman_, Traitor; him.

_Lop._ Now may the Sky crush me, if I let in Don _Guzman_.

Don _Ped._ Who did let you in then? It was not your Master, sure! If it was him, you did your Duty; I have no more to say.

_Lop._ Why then, if I let in any Body else, I'm a Son of a Whore.

[_Rising._

Don _Ped._ Did he order you beforehand, or did you do it upon his knocking?

_Lop._ Why he--I'll tell you, Sir, he----pray put up that Brilliant, it sparkles so in my Eyes, it almost blinds me--thank you, Sir.

[_Don ~Ped.~ puts it up._

Why, Sir, I'll tell you just how the Matter was, but I hope you won't consider me as a Party.

Don _Ped._ Go on; thou art safe.

_Lop._ Why then, Sir, when (for our Sins) you had left us, says my Master to me, _Lopez_, says he, go and stay at old Don _Felix_'s House, till Don _Pedro_ returns; they'll pass thee for his Servant, and think he has order'd thee to stay there. And then, says he, dost hear, open me the Door by _Leonora_'s Apartment to-night, for I have a little Business, says he, to do there.

Don _Ped._ [_Aside._] Perfidious Wretch!

_Lop._ Indeed, I was at first a little resty, and stood off; being suspicious (for I knew the Man) that there might be some ill Intentions. But he knew me too, takes me upon the weak Side, whips out a long Sword, and by the same Means makes me do the Thing, as you have made me discover it.--[_Aside._] There's neither Liberty nor Property in this Land, since the Blood of the _Bourbons_ came amongst us.

Don _Ped._ Then you let him in, as he bid you?

_Lop._ I did: If I had not, I had never lived to tell you the Story. Yes, I let him in.

Don _Ped._ And what follow'd?

_Lop._ Why, he follow'd.

Don _Ped._ What?

_Lop._ His Inclinations.

Don _Ped._ Which Way?

_Lop._ The old Way:--To a Woman.

Don _Ped._. Confound him!

_Lop._ In short, he got to Madam's Chamber, and before he had been there long, (tho' you know, Sir, a little Time goes a great Way in some Matters) I heard such a clutter of small Shot, Murder, Murder, Murder, Rape, Fire, Help, and so forth--But hold, here he comes himself, and can give you a more circumstantial Account of the Skirmish.

_Don Ped._ I thank thee, Heaven, at last, for having pointed me to the Victim I am to sacrifice.

[_Ex. ~Lop.~_

_Enter Don ~John~._

[_Drawing._] Villain, defend thyself.

Don _John._ What do you mean?

Don _Ped._ To punish a Traitor.

Don _John._ Where is he?

Don _Ped._ In the Heart of a sworn Friend.

Don _John._ [_Aside._] I saw _Lopez_, go from him, without doubt he has told him all.

[_To Don ~Ped~._

Of what am I suspected?

Don _Ped._ Of betraying the greatest Trust that Man cou'd place in Man.

Don _John._ And by whom am I accus'd?

Don _Ped._ By me: Have at thy Traitor's Heart!

Don _John._ Hold! And be not quite a Madman.--_Pedro_, you know me well: You know I am not backward upon these Occasions, nor shall I refuse you any Satisfaction you'll demand; but first, I will be heard, and tell you, That for a Man of Sense, you are pleas'd to make very odd Conclusions.

Don _Ped._ Why, what is it possible thou canst invent to clear thyself?

Don _John._ To clear myself! Of what? I'm to be thank'd for what I have done, and not reproach'd. I find I have been an Ass, and push'd my Friendship to that Point, you find not Virtue in yourself enough to conceive it in another. But henceforward, I shall be a better Husband of it.

_Don Ped._ I shou'd be loth to find Ingratitude cou'd e'er be justly charg'd upon me: But after what your Servant has confess'd----

Don _John._ My Servant! Right, my Servant! The very Thing I guess'd. Fye, fye, Don _Pedro_; is it from a Servant's Mouth a Friend condemns a Friend? Or can Servants always judge at what their Master's outward Actions point? But some Allowances I shou'd make for the wild Agitation you must needs be in. I'm therefore calm, and thus far pass all by.

Don _Ped._ If you are innocent, Heaven be my Aid, that I may find you so. But still----

Don _John._ But still you wrong me, if you still suspect. Hear then, in short, my part of this Adventure. In order to acquit myself of the Charge you laid upon me in your Absence, I went last night, just as 'twas dark, to view the several Approaches of the House where you had left your Wife; and I observ'd not far from one of the back Doors, two Persons in close eager Conference: I was disguis'd, so ventur'd to pass near 'em, and by a Word or two I heard, I found 'twas _Guzman_ talking to _Jacinta_. My Concern for your Honour, made me at first resolve to call him to an immediate Account. But then reflecting that I might possibly over-hear some Part of their Discourse, and by that judge of _Leonora_'s Thoughts, I rein'd my Passion in; and by the help of an advancing Buttress, which kept me from their Sight, I learnt the black Conspiracy. Don _Guzman_ said, he had great Complaint to make; and since his honourable Love had been so ill return'd, he could with ease forgive himself, if by some rougher Means he should procure, what Prayers and Tears and Sighs had urg'd in vain.

Don _Ped._ Go on.

Don _John._ His kind Assistant clos'd smoothly with him, and inform'd him with what ease that very Night she'd introduce him to her Chamber. At last, they parted, with this Agreement, that at some Overture in a Wall, he should expect her to inform him when _Leonora_ was in Bed, and all the Coast was clear.

Don _Ped._ Dispatch the rest--Is't possible after all he should be innocent!

Don _John._ I must confess the Resolution taken, made me tremble for you: How to prevent it now and for ever, was my next Care. I immediately order'd _Lopez_ to go lie at Don _Felix_'s, and to open me the Door when all the Family were in Bed. He did as I directed him. I enter'd, and in the dark found my way to _Leonora_'s Apartment. I found the Door open, at which I was surpriz'd. I thought I heard some stirring in her Chamber, and in an Instant heard her cry for Aid. At this I drew, and rush'd into the Room, which _Guzman_, alarm'd at, cry'd out to her Assistance. His ready Impudence, I must confess, at first quite struck me speechless; but in a Moment I regain'd my Tongue, and loud proclaim'd the Traitor.

Don _Ped._ Is't possible?

Don _John._ Yet more: your Arrival hindring me at that Time from taking Vengeance for your Wrong, I at this Instant expect him here, to punish him (with Heaven's righteous Aid) for daring to attempt my Ruin with the Man, whose Friendship I prefer to all the Blessings Heaven and Earth dispense. And now, Don _Pedro_, I have told you this, if still you have a Mind to take my Life, I shall defend it with the self-same Warmth I intended to expose it in your Service.

[_Draws._

Don _Ped._ [_Aside._] If I did not know he was in love with _Leonora_, I could be easily surpriz'd with what he has told me. But--But yet 'tis certain he has destroyed the Proofs against him; and if I only hold him guilty as a Lover; why must Don _Guzman_ pass for innocent? Good Gods, I am again returning to my Doubts!

Don _John._ [_Aside._] I have at last reduc'd him to a Balance, but one Lye more tost in, will turn the Scale.

_To Don ~Ped.~_] One Obligation more, my Friend, you owe me; I thought to have let it pass, but it shall out. Know then, I lov'd, like you, the beauteous _Leonora_; but from the Moment I observ'd how deep her Dart had pierc'd you, tore my Passion from my bleeding Heart, and sacrific'd my Happiness to yours. Now, I have no more to plead; if still you think your Vengeance is my due, come pay it me.

Don _Ped._ Rather ten thousand Poignards strike me dead! O _Alvarada_! can you forgive a wild distracted Friend? Gods! Whither was my jealous Frenzy leading me? Can you forget this barbarous Injury?

Don _John._ I can: No more. But for the future, think me what I am, a faithful and a zealous Friend.--Retire, and leave me here. In a few Moments I hope to bring you further Proofs on't. _Guzman_ I instantly expect, leave me to do you Justice on him.

Don _Ped._ That must not be. My Revenge can ne'er be satisfy'd by any other Hand but this.

Don _John._ Then let That do't. You'll in a Moment have an Opportunity.

Don _Ped._ You mistake; he won't be here.

Don _John._ How so?

Don _Ped._ He has not had your Challenge. His Sister intercepted it, and desired I wou'd come to prevent the Quarrel.

Don _John._ What then is to be done?

Don _Ped._ I'll go and find him out immediately.

Don _John._ Very well: Or hold----[_Aside._] I must hinder 'em from talking. Gossiping may discover me. Yes: let's go and find him: Or, let me see----Aye,----'twill do better.

Don _Ped._ What?

Don _John._ Why----That the Punishment should suit the Crime.

Don _Ped._ Explain.

Don _John._ Attack him by his own Laws of War--'Twas in the Night he would have had your Honour, and in the Night you ought to have his Life.

Don _Ped._ His Treason cannot take the Guilt from mine.

Don _John._ There is no Guilt in fair Retaliation. When 'tis a Point of Honour sounds the Quarrel, the Laws of Sword-Men must be kept, 'tis true: But if a Thief glides in to seize my Treasure, methinks I may return the Favour on my Dagger's Point, as well as with my Sword of Ceremony six Times as long.

Don _Ped._ Yet still the nobler Method I wou'd choose; it better satisfies the Vengeance of a Man of Honour.

Don _John._ I own it, were you sure you shou'd succeed: But the Events of Combats are uncertain. Your Enemy may 'scape you: You perhaps may only wound him; you may be parted. Believe me, _Pedro_, the Injury's too great for a Punctilio Satisfaction.

Don _Ped._ Well, guide me as you please, so you direct me quickly to my Vengeance. What do you propose?

Don _John._ That which is as easy, as 'tis just to execute. The Wall he passed, to attempt your Wife, let us get over to prevent his doing so any more. 'Twill let us into a private Apartment by his Garden, where every Evening in his amorous Solitudes he spends some Time alone, and where I guess his late fair Scheme was drawn. The Deed done, we can retreat the Way we enter'd; let me be your Pilot, 'tis now e'en dark, and the most proper Time.

Don _Ped._ Lead on; I'll follow you.

Don _John._ [_Aside._] How many Villanies I'm forc'd to act, to keep one secret!

[_Exeunt._

+SCENE+, _Don. ~Guzman~'s Apartments._

_Don ~Guzman~, sitting solus._

With what Rigour does this unfaithful Woman treat me! Is't possible it can be me, who appeared to love me with so much Tenderness? How little stress is to be laid upon a Woman's Heart! Sure they're not worth those anxious Cares they give. [_Rising._] Then burst my Chains, and give me Room to search for nobler Pleasures. I feel my Heart begin to mutiny for Liberty; there is a Spirit in it yet, will struggle hard for Freedom: but Solitude's the worst of Seconds. Ho! _Sancho_, _Galindo_, who waits there? Bring some Lights.--Where are you?

_Enter ~Galindo~, rubbing his Eyes, and drunk._

_Galin._ I can't well tell. Do you want me, Sir?

Don _Guz._ Yes, Sir, I want you. Why am I left in the dark? What were you doing?

_Gal._ Doing, Sir! I was doing----what one does when one sleeps, Sir.

Don _Guz._ Have you no Light without?

_Galin._ [_Yawning._] Light!----No, Sir,----I have no Light. I'm us'd to Hardship, I can sleep in the dark.

Don _Guz._ You have been drinking, you Rascal, you are drunk.

_Gal._ I have been drinking, Sir, 'tis true, but I am not drunk. Every Man that is drunk, has been drinking, confess'd. But every Man that has been drinking, is not drunk.----Confess that too.

Don _Guz._ Who is't has put you in this Condition, you Sot?

_Galin._ A very honest Fellow: Madam _Leonora_'s Coachman, nobody else. I have been making a little debauch with Madam _Leonora_'s Coachman; yes.

Don _Guz._ How came you to drink with him, Beast?

_Gal._ Only _per_ Complaisance, Sir. The Coachman was to be drunk upon Madam's Wedding; and I being a Friend, was desired to take Part.

Don _Guz._ And so, you Villain, you can make yourself merry, with what renders me miserable.

_Galin._ No, Sir, no; 'twas the Coachman was merry; I drank with Tears in my Eyes. The remembrance of your Misfortunes made me so sad, so sad, that every Cup I swallow'd was like a Cup of Poison to me.

Don _Guz._ Without doubt.

_Galin._ Yes; and to mortify myself upon melancholy Matters, I believe I took down fifty; yes.

Don _Guz._ Go fetch some Lights, you drunken Sot, you.

_Galin._ I will, if I can find the [_Feeling for the Door and running against it._] Door, that's so say----The Devil's in the Door; I think 'tis grown too little for me----Shrunk this wet Weather, I presume.

[_Ex. ~Galin~._

_Don ~Guzman~ alone._

Absence, the old Remedy for Love, must e'en be mine: to stay and brave the Danger, were Presumption: Farewel _Valencia_, then, and farewel, _Leonora_. And if thou can'st, my Heart, redeem thy Liberty, secure it by a Farewel eternal to her Sex.

_Re-enter ~Galindo~ with a Candle, he falls, and puts it out._

_Galin._ Here's light, Sir----So,----

Don _Guz._ Well done. You sottish [_Passing angrily into another Chamber._] Rascal, come no more in my Sight.

[_Ex. Don ~Guz~._

_Galin._ These Boards are so uneven----You shall see now I shall neither find [_Rising and feeling about for the Candle._] the Candle----nor the Candlestick; It shan't be for want of searching, however.

----O ho, have I got you? Enough, I'll look for your Companion to-morrow.

_Enter Don ~Pedro~ and Don ~John~._

Don _Ped._ Where are we now?

Don _John._ We are in the Apartment I told you of----Softly----I hear something stir----Ten to one but 'tis he.

_Galin._ Don't I hear, somewhat?----No----when one has Wine in one's Head, one has such a bustle in one's Ears.

Don _Pedro._ [_To Don ~John~._] Who is that is talking to himself?

Don _John._ 'Tis his Servant, I know his Voice, keep still.

_Galin._ Well; since my Master has banished me his Sight, I'll redeem by my Obedience, what I have lost by my Debauch. I'll go sleep twelve Hours in some melancholy Hole where the Devil Shan't find me; yes.

[_Exit ~Galindo~._

Don _John._ He's gone; but hush, I hear somebody coming.

Don _Guz._ Ho there! will nobody bring Light?

[_Behind the Scene._

Don _Ped._ 'Tis _Guzman_.

Don _John._ 'Tis so, prepare.

Don _Ped._ Shall I own my Weakness? I feel an inward Check; I wish this could be done some other way.

Don _John._ Distraction all! Is this a Time to balance? Think on the Injury he would have done you, 'twill fortify your Arm, and guide your Dagger to his Heart.

Don _Ped._ Enough, I'll hesitate no more; be satisfy'd; hark! he's coming.

_Don ~Guzman~ passes the Stage._

Don _Guz._ I think these Rogues are resolved to leave me in the dark all Night.

[_Exit Don ~Guz~._

Don _John._ Now's your Time, follow him and strike home.

Don _Ped._ To his Heart, if my Dagger will reach it.

[_Don ~Pedro~ follows him._

Don _John._ [_Aside._] If one be kill'd, I'm satisfy'd; 'tis no great Matter which.

_Re-enter Don ~Guzman~, Don ~Pedro~ following him, with his Dagger ready to strike._

Don _Guz._ [_Aside._] My Chamber Door's lock'd, and I think I hear somebody tread----Who's there?----Nobody answers. But still I hear something stir. Hola there! _Sancho_, are you all drunk? Some Lights here, quickly.

[_Exit._

_Don ~Guzman~ passes by the Corner where ~Don John~ stands, and goes of the Stage; Dan ~Pedro~ following him, stabs Don ~John~._

Don _Ped._ [_Aside._] I think I'm near him now:----Traitor, take that, my Wife has sent it thee.

Don _John._ Ah, I'm dead!

Don _Ped._ Then thou hast thy Due.

Don _John._ I have, indeed; 'tis I that have betray'd thee.

Don _Ped._ And 'tis I that am reveng'd on thee for doing it.

Don _John._ I wou'd have forc'd thy Wife.

Don _Ped._ Die then with the Regret to have fail'd in thy Attempt.

Don _John._ Farewel, if thou can'st forgive me--

[_Dies._

Don _Ped._ I have done the Deed, there's nothing left but to make our Escape. Don _John_, where are you? Let's begone, I hear the Servants coming.

_~Lopez~ knocks hard at the Door._

_Lop._ Open there quickly, open the Door.

Don _Ped._ That's _Lopez_, we shall be discover'd. But 'tis no great Matter, the Crime will justify the Execution; but where's Don _John_? Don _John_, where are you?

_~Lopez~ knocks again._

_Lop._ Open the Door there, quickly. Madam, I saw 'em both pass the Wall; the Devil's in't if any good comes on't.

_Leo._ I am frightened out of my Senses: ho, _Isabella_!

Don _Ped._ 'Tis _Leonora_. She's welcome. With her own Eyes let her see her _Guzman_ dead.

_Enter Don ~Guzman~, ~Leonora~, ~Isabella~, ~Jacinta~ and ~Lopez~, with Lights._

Don _Ped._ Ha! what is't I see? _Guzman_ alive? Then who art thou?

[_Looking on Don ~John~._

Don _Guz._ _Guzman_ alive! Yes, _Pedro_, _Guzman_ is alive.

Don _Ped._ Then Heaven is just, and there's a Traitor dead.

_Isabella weeps._] Alas, Don _John_!

_Lop._ [_Looking upon Don ~John~._] _Bonus Nocius._

Don _Guz._ What has produced this bloody Scene?

Don _Ped._ 'Tis I have been the Actor in't;----my Poignard, _Guzman_, I intended in your Heart.----I thought your Crime deserv'd it: but I did you wrong, and my Hand in searching the Innocent, has by Heaven's justice been directed to the Guilty. Don _John_, with his last Breath, confess'd himself the Offender.--Thus my Revenge is satisfied, and you are clear'd.

Don _Guz._ Good Heaven, how equitable are thy Judgments!

Don _Ped._ [_To ~Leo~._] Come, Madam, my Honour now is satisfied, and if you please my Love may be so too.

_Leo._ If it is not,

_You to yourself alone shall owe your Smart, For where I've given my Hand, I'll give my Heart._

EPILOGUE,

Spoken by Mrs. _Oldfield_.

_What say you, Sirs, d'ye think my Lady'll 'scape? 'Tis dev'lish hard to stand a Fav'rite's Rape. Shou'd ~Guzman~, like Don ~John~, break in upon her, For all her Virtue, Heaven have Mercy on her: Her Strength, I doubt, 's in his Irresolution, There's wond'rous Charms in vig'rous Execution. Indeed you Men are Fools, you won't believe What dreadful Things we Women can forgive: I know but one we never do pass by, And that you plague us with eternally; When in your courtly Fears to disoblige, You won't attack the Town which you beseige: Your Guns are light, and planted out of Reach: D'ye think with Billet-doux to make a Breach? 'Tis Small-Shot all, and not a Stone will fly: Walls fall by Cannon, and by firing nigh: In sluggish dull Blockades you keep the Field, And starve us ere we can with Honour yield. In short---- We can't receive those Terms you gently tender, But storm, and we can answer our Surrender._

=END of the FIRST VOLUME=

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