Chapter 56

LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA, KÓRSHUNOV, and GORDÉY KÁRPYCH

GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Ah, so that's where my son-in-law is! We've been looking for you. We've already started in on the champagne. Come along to the guests; at our house a feast isn't a feast without you.

KÓRSHUNOV. I like it here.

GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Then we'll order it to be served here, and we'll drink it with you. [_Walks to the door_] Hey, boy, serve the wine here! On a silver tray! [_Sits down_] Now, son-in-law, what do you say?

KÓRSHUNOV. Nothing.

GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. How, nothing?

KÓRSHUNOV. Just nothing.

GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. But don't you really? [_Looks at him_] Can you understand me now?

KÓRSHUNOV. Why shouldn't I understand you?

GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Now we've had this little spree! So now you tell me, what sort of a man I am. Can they appreciate me here?

KÓRSHUNOV. Why should they appreciate you?

GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. No, tell me this: Isn't everything well done here? In other houses a young fellow waits at table in a Russian smock, or there's a peasant girl; but in my house there's a butler in cotton gloves. This butler is a trained man, from Moscow; he knows all the ways of society--where each man should be seated, and what's to be done. But how is it at other people's houses? They collect in one room, they sit down in a ring, and sing peasant songs. Of course it's jolly, but I consider it's vulgar; there's no style about it. And what do they drink in their boorishness? Home-made cordials, all sorts of cherry water! And they don't even _know_ that champagne is the proper thing! Oh, if I could live in Moscow, or in Petersburg, I'd make a point of following every fashion.

KÓRSHUNOV. You don't mean every fashion?

GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Every one. As long as my money held out, I wouldn't stint myself. You just look out, Lyubóv; you toe the mark! Or else your bridegroom--you see he's from Moscow--may be ashamed of you. I suppose you don't even know how to walk gracefully, and you don't understand how to talk as is proper in company.

LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. I say what I feel, father; I wasn't brought up in a boarding-school.

_The butler enters, and gives wine to KÓRSHUNOV and GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. He places the bottles on the table, and goes out._

GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. That's it, son-in-law! Just let them know what sort of man Gordéy Kárpych Tortsóv is!

_EGÓRUSHKA comes in._

EGÓRUSHKA. Uncle Gordéy Kárpych, come here, if you please.

GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. What's the matter with you?

EGÓRUSHKA. Come, please: there's such a scene! [_Laughs_]

GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. [_Approaching_] What's the matter?

EGÓRUSHKA. Uncle Lyubím Kárpych has come in.

GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Why did they let him in?

EGÓRUSHKA. It must be that he just took it into his head; we can't stop him, anyhow. [_Bursts out laughing._]

GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. What's he doing?

EGÓRUSHKA. He's turning out the guests. [_Bursts out laughing_] "You're glad to eat another man's bread," says he. "I'm also the host," says he. "I," says he---- [_Bursts out laughing._]

GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Sh--he's ruined me!

[_Goes out with EGÓRUSHKA._]

KÓRSHUNOV. What's all this about?

LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. I don't know. It must be that uncle is--Sometimes he takes a notion.

_Enter_ RAZLYULYÁYEV, MÁSHA, _and_ LÍZA.