Chapter 29
To be more explicit, the girl who disregards the laws of health, who eats bad food, eats at all hours or at unseasonable hours, sits up late at night, attends fashionable parties and indulges in the usual means of dissipation there afforded, dancing, wine, rich suppers, etc., who carefully follows the fashions in her dress, lacing her waist to attain the fashionable degree of slenderness, wearing thin, narrow-toed gaiters with French heels, and insufficiently clothing the limbs in cold weather, and who in like manner neglects to comply with the requirements of health in other important particulars, may be certain that sooner or later, certainly at no distant day, she will become as unattractive and homely as she can wish not to be. Girls and young ladies who eat largely of fat meat, rich cakes and pies, confectionery, iced creams, and other dietetic abominations, cannot avoid becoming sallow and hollow-eyed. The cheeks may be ever so plump and rosy, they will certainly lose their freshness and become hollow and thin. Chalk and rouge will not hide the defect, for everybody will discover the fraud, and will of course know the reason why it is practiced.
A Beauty-Destroying Vice.--But by far the worst enemy of beauty and health of body, mind, and soul, we have not yet mentioned. It is a sin concerning which we would gladly keep silence; but we cannot see so many of our most beautiful and promising girls and young ladies annually being ruined, often for this world and the next alike, without uttering the word of warning needed.
As before remarked, the function of maternity, which is the object of the sexual system in woman, when rightly exercised is the most sacred and elevated office which a woman can perform for the world. The woman who is a true mother has an opportunity of doing for the race more than all other human agencies combined. The mother's influence is the controlling influence in the world. The mother molds the character of her children. She can make of their plastic minds almost what she will if she is herself prepared for the work. On the other hand, misuse or abuse of the sexual organism is visited in girls and women, as in boys and men, with the most fearful penalties. Nothing will sooner deprive a girl or young lady of the maidenly grace and freshness with which nature blesses woman in her early years than secret vice. We have the greatest difficulty in making ourself believe that it is possible for beings designed by nature to be pure and innocent, in all respects free from impurity of any sort, to become so depraved by sin as to be willing to devote themselves to so vile and filthy a practice. Yet the frequency with which cases have come under our observation which clearly indicate the alarming prevalence of the practice, even among girls and young women who would naturally be least suspected, compels us to recognize the fact. The testimony of many eminent physicians whose opportunities for observation have been very extensive shows that the evil is enormously greater than people generally are aware. Instructors of the youth, of large experience, assert the same. Nor is the evil greater in America than in some other countries. One writer declares that the vice is almost universal among the girls of Russia, which may be due to the low condition in which the women of that country are kept.
Terrible Effects of Secret Vice.--The awful effects of this sin against God and nature, this soul-and-body-destroying vice, become speedily visible in those who are guilty of it. The experienced eye needs no confession on the part of the victim to read the whole story of sinful indulgence and consequent disease. The vice stamps its insignia upon the countenance; it shows itself in the walk, in the changed disposition and the loss of healthy vigor. It is not only impossible for a victim of this sinful practice to hide from the all-seeing eye of God the vileness perpetrated in secret, but it is also useless to attempt to hide from human eyes the awful truth.
Headache, side-ache, back-ache, pains in the chest, and wandering pains in various parts of the body,--these are but a few of the painful ailments from which girls who are guilty of this sin suffer. Many of the tender spines which cause great solicitude on the part of parents and physicians, who fear that disease of the spine is threatening the life of a loved daughter, not infrequently originate in this way. Much of the hysteria which renders wretched the lives of thousands of young ladies and the fond friends who are obliged to care for and attend them, arises from sexual transgression of the kind of which we are speaking. The blanched cheeks, hollow, expressionless eyes, and rough, pimply skins of many school-girls are due to this cause alone. We do not mean by this to intimate that every girl who has pimples upon her face is guilty of secret vice; but this sin is undoubtedly a very frequent cause of the unpleasant eruption which so often appears upon the foreheads of both sexes. It would be very unjust, however, to charge a person with the sin unless some further evidence than that of an eruption on the face was afforded.
The inability to study, to apply themselves in any way except when stimulated by something of a very exciting character, which many girls exhibit, is in a large proportion of cases due to the practice of which we are writing. Often enough the effects which are attributed to overstudy are properly due to this debasing habit. We have little faith in the great outcry made in certain quarters about the damaging effects of study upon the health of young ladies. A far less worthy cause is in many cases the true one, to which is attributable the decline in health at a critical period when all the vital forces of the system are necessarily called into action to introduce the activity of a new function.
Hundreds of girls break down in health just as they are entering womanhood. At from twelve to eighteen years of age the change naturally occurs which transforms the girl into a woman by the development of functions previously latent. This critical period is one through which every girl in health ought to pass with scarcely any noticeable disturbance; and if during the previous years of life the laws of health were observed, there would seldom be any unusual degree of suffering at this time. Those who have before this period been addicted to the vile habit of which we are writing, will almost invariably show at this time evidences of the injury which has been wrought. The unnatural excitement of the organs before the period of puberty, lays the foundation for life-long disease. When that critical epoch arrives, the organs are found in a state of congestion often bordering on inflammation. The increased congestion which naturally occurs at this time in many cases is sufficient to excite most serious disease. Here is the beginning of a great many of the special diseases which are the bane and shame of the sex. Displacements of various sorts, congestions, neuralgia of the ovaries, leucorrhoea, or whites, and a great variety of kindred maladies, are certain to make their appearance at this period or soon after in those who have previously been guilty of self-abuse. If the evil influences already at work are augmented by tight lacing, improper dressing of the extremities, hanging heavy skirts upon the hips, and fashionable dissipation generally, the worst results are sure to follow, and the individual is certain to be a subject for the doctors for a good portion of her life.
A talented writer some time since contributed to a popular magazine an article entitled, "The Little Health of Women," which contained many excellent hints respecting the influences at work to undermine the health and destroy the constitutions of American women; but he did not even hint at this potent cause, which, we firmly believe, is responsible for a far greater share of the local disease and general poor health of girls, young women, and married ladies, than has been generally recognized. These are startling facts, but we are prepared to substantiate them.
Remote Effects.--Not all of the effects of the vice appear in girlhood, nor even during early life. Not infrequently it is not until the girl has grown up to be a wife and mother that she begins to appreciate fully the harm that has been wrought. At this time, when new demands are made upon the sexual organism, when its proper duties are to be performed, there is a sudden failure; new weaknesses and diseases make their appearance, new pains and sufferings are felt, which no woman who has not in some way seriously transgressed the laws of health will suffer. In not a few instances it is discovered that the individual is wholly unfitted for the duties of maternity. Often, indeed, maternity is impossible, the injury resulting from the sins committed being so great as to render the diseased organism incapable of the functions required.
In the great majority of cases these peculiar difficulties, morbid conditions, and incapacities are attributed to overwork, overstudy, "taking cold," "getting the feet wet," or some other cause wholly inadequate to account for the diseased conditions present, although in many instances it may be true that some such unfortunate circumstance may be the means of precipitating the effects of previous sin upon organs already relaxed, debilitated, and thus prepared readily to take on disease.
Causes which Lead Girls Astray.--The predisposing causes of sexual vices have already been dwelt upon so fully in this volume that we shall devote little space to the subject here. We may, however, mention a few of the causes which seem to be most active in leading to the formation of evil habits among girls.
Vicious Companions.--Girls are remarkably susceptible to influence by those of their own age. A vicious girl who makes herself agreeable to those with whom she associates can exert more influence over many of her companions than can any number of older persons. Even a mother rarely has that influence over her daughter that is maintained by the girl whom she holds as her bosom friend. The close friendships which are often formed between girls of the same age are often highly detrimental in character. Each makes a confidant of the other, and thus becomes estranged from the only one competent to give counsel and advice, and the one who of all others is worthy of a young girl's confidence,--her mother.
From these unfortunate alliances often arise most deplorable evils. Vicious companions not infrequently sow the seeds of evil habits far and wide, contaminating all who come within their influence.
Whom to Avoid.--A girl will always do well to avoid a companion who is vain, idle, silly, or frivolous. Girls who have these evil characteristics are very likely to have others also which are worse. A girl who is rude in her manners, careless in her habits, irreverent and disobedient to parents and teachers, is always an unsafe companion. No matter how pretty, witty, stylish, or aristocratic she may be, she should be shunned. Her influence will be withering, debasing, wherever felt. A girl may be gay and thoughtless without being vicious; but the chances are ten to one that she will become sinful unless she changes her ways.
Sentimental Books.--The majority of girls love to read, but, unfortunately, the kind of literature of which they are chiefly fond is not of a character which will elevate, refine, or in any way benefit them. Story books, romances, love tales, and religious novels constitute the chief part of the reading matter which American young ladies greedily devour. We have known young ladies still in their teens who had read whole libraries of the most exciting novels.
The taste for novel-reading is like that for liquor or opium. It is never satiated. It grows with gratification. A confirmed novel-reader is almost as difficult to reform as a confirmed inebriate or opium-eater. The influence upon the mind is most damaging and pernicious. It not only destroys the love for solid, useful reading, but excites the emotions, and in many cases keeps the passions in a perfect fever of excitement. The confessions of young women who were to all appearance the most circumspect in every particular, and whom no one mistrusted to be capable of vile thoughts, have convinced us that this evil is more prevalent than many, even of those who are quite well informed, would be willing to admit.
By reading of this kind, many are led to resort to self-abuse for the gratification of passions which over-stimulation has made almost uncontrollable. Some have thus been induced to sin who had never been injured by other influences, but discovered the fatal secret themselves. Mothers cannot be too careful of the character of the books which their daughters read. Every book, magazine, and paper should be carefully scrutinized, unless its character is already well known, before it is allowed to be read. In our opinion, some of the literature which passes as standard, which is often found on parlor center-tables and in family and school libraries, such as Chaucer's poems, and other writings of a kindred character, is unfit for perusal by inexperienced and unsophisticated young ladies. Some of this literature is actually too vile for any one to read, and if written to-day by any poet of note would cause his works to be committed to the stove and the rag-bag in spite of his reputation.
Various Causes.--Bad diet, the use of stimulating and exciting articles of food, late suppers, confectionery and dainties,--all these have a very powerful influence in the wrong direction by exciting functions which ought to be kept as nearly latent as possible. The use of tea and coffee by young ladies cannot be too strongly condemned. Improper dress, by causing local congestion, often predisposes to secret vice by occasioning local excitement. Probably a greater cause than any of those last mentioned is too great familiarity with the opposite sex. The silly letters which girls sometimes allow themselves to receive from the boys and young men of their acquaintance, and which they encourage by letters of a similar character, must be condemned in the most thorough manner. Upon receiving such a letter a pure-minded girl will consider herself insulted; and has just reason for so doing. The childish flirtations which girls and boys sometimes indulge in often lead to evils of a most revolting character.
Modesty Woman's Safeguard.--True modesty and maidenly reserve are the best guardians of virtue. The girl who is truly modest, who encourages and allows no improper advances, need have no fear of annoyance from this source. She is equally safe from temptation to sin which may come to her in secret, when no human eye can behold. Maidenly modesty is one of the best qualities which any young lady can possess. A young woman who lacks modesty, who manifests boldness of manner and carelessness in deportment, is not only liable to have her virtue assailed by designing and unscrupulous men, but is herself likely to fall before the temptation to indulge in secret sin, which is certain to present itself in some way sooner or later.
This invaluable protection is speedily lost by the girl who abandons herself to secret vice. The chances are very great, also, that by degrees her respect for and love of virtue and chastity will diminish until she is open to temptations to indulge in less secret sin; and thus she travels down the road of vice until she finds herself at last an inmate of a brothel or an outcast wanderer, rejected by friends, and lost to virtue, purity, and all that a true woman holds most dear.
A Few Sad Cases.--Although we do not believe it right to harrow the feelings of those who have sinned and suffered with a rehearsal of sad cases when no good can be accomplished by such accounts, we deem it but just that those who are not yet entangled in the meshes of vice should have an opportunity of knowing the actual results of sin, and profiting by the sad experience of others. It is for this purpose that we shall mention a few cases which have come under our observation, taking care to avoid mentioning any facts which might lead to identification, as the facts we shall use were, many of them, received in strict confidence from those who were glad to unburden their hearts to some one, but had never dared to do so, even to their friends.
A Pitiful Case.--Several years ago we received a letter from a young woman in an Eastern State in which she described her case as that of an individual who had early become addicted to secret vice and had continued the vile habit until that time, when she was about thirty-two years of age. In spite of the most solemn vows to reform, she still continued the habit, and had become reduced to such a miserable condition that she would almost rather die than live. She sent with her letter photographs representing herself at twenty and at that time, so that we might see the contrast. It was indeed appalling to see what changes sin had wrought. Her face, once fair and comely, had become actually haggard with vice. Purity, innocence, grace, and modesty were no longer visible there. The hard lines of sin had obliterated every trace of beauty, and produced a most repulsive countenance. Though greatly depraved and shattered by sin and consequent disease in body and mind, she still had some desire to be cured, if possible, and made a most pitiful appeal for help to escape from her loathsome condition. We gave her the best counsel we could under the circumstances, and did all in our power to rescue her from her living death; but whether in any degree successful we cannot tell, as we have never heard from the poor creature since.
We have often wished since that we might but show those two pictures to every girl who has been tempted to sin in this way, to all who have ever yielded to this awful vice. The terrible contrast would certainly produce an impression which no words can do. We sent them back to their wretched original, however, by her request, and so cannot show the actual pictures; but when any who read these lines are tempted thus to sin we beg them to think of these two pictures, and by forming a vivid image of them in the mind drive away the disposition to do wrong.
A Mind Dethroned.--A young lady who had received every advantage which could be given her by indulgent parents, and who naturally possessed most excellent talents, being a fine musician, and naturally so bright and witty as to be the life of every company in which she moved, suddenly began to show strange symptoms of mental unsoundness. She would sometimes be seized with fits of violence during which it was with great difficulty that she could be controlled. Several times she threatened the lives of her nurses, and even on one occasion attempted to execute her threat, the person's life being saved by mere accident. Everything was done for her that could be done, but the mania increased to such a degree of violence that she was sent to an asylum for the insane. Here she remained for months before she became sufficiently tractable to be taken to her home and cared for by friends. Too close application to study was the cause at first assigned for her mental disorder, but a careful investigation of the case revealed the fact that the terrible sin which has ruined the minds of so many promising young men and brilliant young women was the cause that led to the sad result in this case also. The punishment of sin, especially of sexual sins, is indeed terrible; but the sin is a fearful one, and the penalty must be equal to the enormity of the crime. Not all young women who indulge thus will become insane, but any one who thus transgresses may be thus punished. There is no safety but in absolute purity.
A Penitent Victim.--A young woman who had been ill for years, and whose physicians had sought in vain to cure her various ailments, until her parents almost despaired of her ever being anything but a helpless invalid, came to us for treatment, resolved upon making a last effort for health. She had grown up in utter ignorance of the laws of health and of the results of the vice of which we are writing; and having been early taught the sin, she had indulged it for a number of years with the result of producing a most terribly diseased condition of the sexual organs, which had baffled the skill of all the physicians who had attended her, none of whom had ever been made acquainted with the true cause of the difficulties. When apprized of the real facts in the case, that she was alone responsible for the sad condition into which she had fallen, her eyes were opened to see the wickedness and vileness of her course. She bitterly bemoaned her past life, and heartily repented of her sins. Of the sincerity of her repentance she gave evidence in the earnest efforts which she put forth to help herself. She spared no pains to do well all required on her part, and was soon rewarded by feeling that her diseases were being removed and health was returning. Still, she was constantly reminded of her former sins. When the will was off its guard, during sleep, the mind, long indulged in sin, would revert to the old channels and riot in vileness. Unchaste dreams made her often dread to sleep, as she awoke from these unconscious lapses enervated, weak, and prostrated as though she had actually transgressed. But though often thus almost disheartened she continued the struggle, and was finally rewarded by gaining a perfect victory over her mind, sleeping as well as waking, and recovering her health sufficiently to enable her to enjoy life and make herself very useful.
Not a few similar cases have come under our observation; and it seems to us that the pain, anguish, and remorse suffered by these poor victims, ought to be a warning to those who have never entered the sinful road. What a terrible thing it is for a pure and lovely being, designed by God to fulfill a high, holy, and sacred mission in the world, to become a victim to such a filthy vice! No girl of sense would in her right mind raise her hand to dash in pieces a beautiful vase, to destroy a lovely painting, or a beautiful piece of statuary. A girl who would do such a thing would be considered insane and a fit subject for a mad-house. Yet is not the human body, a girl's own beautiful, symmetrical form, infinitely better, more valuable and more sacred, than any object produced by human art? There can be but one answer. How, then, is it possible for her thus to defile and destroy herself? Is it not a fearful thing? a terrible vice?