Part 2
(_MRS. LAWTY, MRS. PICKERING, and MRS. ROMNEY enter from the hall._)
MRS. WARREN. Oh, my dear ladies. Do ... do be seated.
(_They all sit down quietly. There is a long pause. MRS. PICKERING moves restlessly._)
MRS. PICKERING. Mrs. Warren, we have adjourned our meeting of the "Helping Hand" until next week in order to come to you ... the poor, dear natives of the South Sea Islands will have to wait another week for their napkins and tablecloths.
MRS. ROMNEY. A very short time ... considering they have not had such necessary luxuries for several centuries.
MRS. LAWTY. Still, it was with some feeling of ... of regret that we left our work of altruism unfinished, until next week.
MRS. PICKERING. But we feel that our first duty is at home. Yes, we all felt that our duty was toward you, Mrs. Warren, at present.
MRS. WARREN. Ladies, I am overcome with your kindness.
MRS. PICKERING. We shall now consider ... consider ways and means of--of helping you, Mrs. Warren, out of this unspeakable--or, let us say, embarrassing situation.
MRS. LAWTY. Let us rather call it ... unfortunate situation.
MRS. ROMNEY. No matter what we call it ... let us get on----
MRS. PICKERING. The facts are these: Mrs. Lawty tells us she heard Betty, with her own ears, openly say that the man under consideration, Doctor Hunter, was a revolutionist and----
MRS. LAWTY. I said conversationalist. Though he probably is both.
MRS. ROMNEY. I think she must have meant conventionalist.
MRS. PICKERING. Nevertheless, one is as bad as the other. They all go hand in hand.
MRS. WARREN. But I believe Betty only said he was a good conversationalist and----
MRS. LAWTY. Anyway, she said he talked a lot about it.
MRS. PICKERING. I fear it must be one of those dreadful, sinful new religions one hears so much of nowadays.
MRS. WARREN. Oh!
MRS. LAWTY. Also, we understand from very reliable sources that Mrs. Hunter is never seen with her husband in public.
MRS. PICKERING. And that he calls her dreadful names.
MRS. LAWTY. Most suspicious!
MRS. ROMNEY. Oh, I don't believe a word of it.
MRS. LAWTY. Believe it or not, Mrs. Romney ... my information is most reliable.
MRS. WARREN. Is there any way, ladies, of overcoming this situation, I mean----
MRS. ROMNEY. You might call on Mrs. Hunter to-morrow, Mrs. Warren.
MRS. LAWTY. Never!
MRS. LAWER. You might write her a very formal letter, very formal, my dear, asking her to call.
MRS. PICKERING. Ask Mrs. Hunter to come here? I think she would never set her foot in the house.
MRS. LAWER. At any rate, we must do something at once before----
MRS. LAWTY. Before they elope.
LADIES. (_They all begin to talk at once_) Before it is too late. Oh! Ah! But do you really think--I never thought of that. Poor Mrs. Warren! Do you suppose that Mrs. Hunter---- Oh! Etc.
MRS. WARREN. Ladies! Ladies! Do you really think Betty would----
MRS. LAWTY. One never knows what to think!
MRS. WARREN. Clara! Clara!
(_CLARA enters from the hall. She holds a letter in her hand._)
CLARA. Yes, ma'am.
MRS. WARREN. Did you find Betty?
CLARA. I went to her room again, ma'am, but she did not seem to be in and she is nowhere in the garden.
MRS. PICKERING. Not in her room! Not in the garden!
MRS. WARREN. You mean, Clara, she is nowhere to be found? Clara, was her room disturbed ... I mean, did it look as if ... as if ... as if she might have left hurriedly?
CLARA. Why, I didn't go in, ma'am. The door was locked.
MRS. WARREN. Locked?
LADIES. (_Looking at each other knowingly_) Locked!
CLARA. Here is a note, ma'am. It was just left by Doctor Hunter's boy, ma'am.
MRS. PICKERING. A letter!
MRS. ROMNEY. From Doctor Hunter!
MRS. LAWTY. Perhaps they _have_ eloped!
(_The ladies jump to their feet._)
MRS. LAWER. And her room locked ... she must have gone through the window!
LADIES. Gone!
MRS. WARREN. (_Who has been too busy looking for her spectacles to notice what has been going on about her_) Why, it is a letter for---- (_She looks up._) Ladies, what is the matter? What has happened? Why are you all so excited?
MRS. LAWTY. Don't you understand? It is a letter from Doctor Hunter saying they have eloped!
MRS. WARREN. (_Sinking deep into her chair_) Oh!
(_BETTY appears in the door at left._)
BETTY. Ladies.
MRS. WARREN. (_Waving the letter weakly_) Betty! Betty! Betty!
BETTY. Mother!
MRS. WARREN. (_Looking up_) Betty ... Betty, is that you?
LADIES. Oh!
BETTY. Why are you all so--excited? Mother, what is it?
LADIES. Oh! (_They all sit down again._)
MRS. WARREN. Then you--then you---- Oh, where have you been?
BETTY. Why, just taking a little nap, Mother. Really, I didn't know the ladies were here or I should have come right down.
MRS. WARREN. Then you haven't ... you haven't eloped?
BETTY. Why, Mother dear, what _do_ you mean?
MRS. WARREN. These ladies said--said----
(_The ladies all begin to talk at once._)
MRS. LAWTY. You see, Betty dear, Mrs. Pickering told Mrs. Romney, who told me that----
MRS. ROMNEY. I didn't! Nothing of the sort, Betty! It was you yourself, Mrs. Lawty, who told Mrs. Pickering, who told----
MRS. PICKERING. Me? I had nothing at all to do with it ... nothing at all. I only know that Mrs. Lawer said----
MRS. LAWER. I said? I said nothing. It was Mrs. Lawty, who told Mrs. Pickering, who told Mrs. Romney--oh, dear me, I mean----
MRS. ROMNEY. It's a damn lie!
LADIES. (_They all gasp for breath; all begin to talk at once_) I heard that Doctor Hunter--You told me that he treated his wife shamefully--No, I said--Flowers, he sent her flowers every morning--You told Mrs. Pickering that he was a conversationalist--She said a revolutionist--I said--You said--And then she said--Anyway, I do not believe he is a safe person. But very good looking, my dear. Etc.
BETTY. Oh, dear ... what is it all about?
MRS. ROMNEY. You, my dear, you.
BETTY. Me?
MRS. ROMNEY. These ladies said that you----
MRS. LAWTY. These ladies!
LADIES. (_They all begin to talk at once again_) Why, it was she herself who said--I had nothing to do with it at all--All I know about the whole affair is that--The impertinence of her saying--I didn't say a word about---- Etc.
MRS. WARREN. It was all of them ... every one of them. They said you had--oh, dear, I just can't say it! They came here to tell me you had eloped with ... with a married man ... with Doctor Hunter!
BETTY. Ladies! Mother! How dare you! (_She runs to her mother._) How dare you say such a thing! (_To her mother_) My poor, dear Mother!
MRS. WARREN. And it is so untrue. Oh! Clara ... Clara! My smelling-salts ... my smelling-salts! I'm going to faint ... I'm going to faint ... I'm going to faint!
MRS. ROMNEY. (_Running to MRS. WARREN_) Here, use mine, my dear, use mine.
MRS. LAWTY. But the letter, Mrs. Warren.
MRS. WARREN. (_She has been fanning herself furiously with the letter. She suddenly holds it up as if it might be a bomb ready to go off in her hand._) The letter! Oh! Take it ... take it ... take it away!
BETTY. (_Taking the letter_) Why, it is a note from----
LADIES. (_On the very edges of their chairs_) Yes?
BETTY. From Mrs. Hunter.
LADIES. Oh. (_They watch BETTY curiously as she reads the note._)
BETTY. Mother, Mrs. Hunter asks if I might go for a carriage drive with her this afternoon to gather wild flowers. She is going to stop for me. She says the doctor told her how very fond I am of flowers.
MRS. WARREN. (_With a great sigh of relief_) Oh!
BETTY. May I go?
MRS. WARREN. Why, yes, dear, if you think----
MRS. ROMNEY. I fear these ladies were quite mistaken about----
MRS. LAWTY. These ladies, indeed! Do you not include yourself,--that is to say, are you not one of us?
MRS. ROMNEY. God forbid!
LADIES. Oh!
(_The knocker sounds._)
MRS. WARREN. Clara ... Clara!
(_CLARA enters from the Left._)
CLARA. Did you call me, ma'am?
MRS. WARREN. Clara, there is someone at the door.
CLARA. Very well, ma'am. (_She goes out._)
MRS. PICKERING. I am sure Mrs. Warren will forgive our very grave mistake. But it was for her sake that----
BETTY. How could you ever dream of worrying my dear mother by such scandalous gossip? It is shameful!
MRS. WARREN. Betty ... Betty!
MRS. LAWTY. You, my dear, are still too young to understand.
(_CLARA enters._)
MRS. LAWER. I fear we were overquick in our judgment.
MRS. WARREN. Yes, Clara?
CLARA. It is Mrs. Hunter, ma'am.
MRS. WARREN. Mrs. Hunter? Do have her come right in, Clara.
CLARA. Yes, ma'am. Shall I bring more tea, ma'am?
MRS. WARREN. Yes, Clara ... and cake, Clara.
CLARA. Yes, ma'am. (_She goes out._)
LADIES. Oh, shall we stay? Or shall we go? It might be embarrassing--I am sure Mrs. Hunter----
MRS. ROMNEY. Such an interesting person ... Mrs. Hunter.
MRS. LAWTY. I am so glad she and her husband have come to live with us here in Northampton.
MRS. PICKERING. We _must_ ask her to join the "Helping Hand Society."
MRS. LAWER. I am sure she will have so many good ideas.
MRS. WARREN. Ladies, I am so glad you are all here this afternoon ... so pleased.
(_The ladies very properly arrange their dresses and bonnets as the curtain falls._)
The Touch-Down
A comedy in four acts, by Marion Short. 8 males, 6 females, but any number of characters can be introduced in the ensembles. Costumes modern. One interior scene throughout the play. Time, 2-1/2 hours.
This play, written for the use of clever amateurs, is the story of life in Siddell, a Pennsylvania co-educational college. It deals with the vicissitudes and final triumph of the Siddell Football Eleven, and the humorous and dramatic incidents connected therewith.
"The Touch-Down" has the true varsity atmosphere, college songs are sung, and the piece is lively and entertaining throughout. High schools will make no mistake in producing this play. We strongly recommend it as a high-class and well-written comedy.
Price, 30 Cents.
Hurry, Hurry, Hurry
A comedy in three acts, by LeRoy Arnold. 5 males, 4 females. One interior scene. Costumes modern. Plays 2-1/4 hours.
The story is based on the will of an eccentric aunt. It stipulates that her pretty niece must be affianced before she is twenty-one, and married to her fiancé within a year, if she is to get her spinster relative's million. Father has nice notions of honor and fails to tell daughter about the will, so that she may make her choice untrammeled by any other consideration than that of true love. The action all takes place in the evening the midnight of which will see her reach twenty-one. Time is therefore short, and it is hurry, hurry, hurry, if she is to become engaged and thus save her father from impending bankruptcy.
The situations are intrinsically funny and the dialogue is sprightly. The characters are natural and unaffected and the action moves with a snap such as should be expected from its title.
Price, 30 Cents.
The Varsity Coach
A three-act play of college life, by Marion Short, specially adapted to performance by amateurs or high school students. 5 males, 6 females, but any number of boys and girls may be introduced in the action of the play. Two settings necessary, a college boy's room and the university campus. Time, about 2 hours.
Like many another college boy, "Bob" Selby, an all-round popular college man, becomes possessed of the idea that athletic prowess is more to be desired than scholarship. He is surprised in the midst of a "spread" in his room in Regatta week by a visit from his aunt who is putting him through college. Aunt Serena, "a lady of the old school and the dearest little woman in the whole world," has hastened to make this visit to her adored nephew under the mistaken impression that he is about to receive the Fellowes prize for scholarship. Her grief and chagrin when she learns that instead of the prize Robert has received "a pink card," which is equivalent to suspension for poor scholarship, gives a touch of pathos to an otherwise jolly comedy of college life. How the repentant Robert more than redeems himself, carries off honors at the last, and in the end wins Ruth, the faithful little sweetheart of the "Prom" and the classroom, makes a story of dramatic interest and brings out very clearly certain phases of modern college life. There are several opportunities for the introduction of college songs and "stunts."
Price, 30 Cents.
(The Above Are Subject to Royalty When Produced)
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SAMUEL FRENCH, 28-30 West 38th Street, New York City New and Explicit Descriptive Catalogue Mailed Free on Request
The following is a list of changes made to the original. The first line is the original line, the second the corrected one.
dreadful, sinful new religions one hears so much of nowdays. dreadful, sinful new religions one hears so much of nowadays.